Center of the Sun
by StarryOwlEyes
Summary: When the whole world is falling apart, and people are killed for being themselves- How do you let love in? And what if that love isn't what you think? Devastatingly Dark, and Passionately Romantic. Set in futuristic England. AU Adult Content R&R Lemons
1. 0 Introduction

_AU fiction that is passionately romantic and devastatingly dark. Travel inside the lives of the famous Lightwood family, and their dark little secrets. Watch as a forbidden love is laced together by ribbons of glass torn apart to shatter, but slowly put back together again with the blood on their hands. Very dark, but deeply romantic. Think of Alec as a Prince of sorts about to be made King, and Magnus the ruler of the Underworld where the forgotten go-leader of the rebellion. _

**Introduction and Plot.**

Let me first introduce myself. My name is Brittany, I'm a single mom who thinks she can (I think I can I think I can) I work full time at a local law firm, and spend my evenings at home relaxing with a good book. I read so much that I am always inspired, but Cassandra Clare's world really really really wrapped me up. I of course do not own any of these characters, and though I do write a good deal at my job I do not do it professionally. Bare with me please. This is a relief to me, a way to unwind, and I hope you enjoy it. As you will learn I have a very deep relationship with my mind and often get carried away with my over-wording things. I'm a very visual author and if it gets too much please let me know.

This story will take place in the modern day, though as you will learn the Lightwood world is a very old fashion one with a seat at the House of Lords, they are as close to royals as they can get, so think of Alec as a Prince of sorts. The family is poised and though they are looked on as having the perfect life, they are not as perfect as they seem. Without giving too much away you will see a reflection of my historical based stories though this is very much in present day.

The government has overstepped their boundaries by putting limitations on pretty much everything, and the people suffer greatly from it if they are not 'flawless' so think of this as a less severe Nazi Germany. So what happens when one of their Lords falls in love with not only a downworlder, but a man…for shame.

Though this is not my first fan fiction, it is my first Mortal Instruments one, and I respect Cassandra Clare so much its ridiculous. I love how down to earth she is and how supportive she is of her fans. I really encourage you to go pick up her books, as they have inspired me and motivated me to write for the first time in years. She will go a long long way I have much faith in her. So I simply borrow her characters and do this for my own sanity not profit. Fanfiction is just fun no?

**Warning.**

I have a very deep dark secret twisted side that will in fact come out later, but I hope in a tasteful way. Really I'm the type of writer who just 'goes with it' so please leave feedback. I'm not sure what a 'lemon' is as I've been out of this fanfiction world for a while, but if it means adult themes then there will be that too.

Please read with care, and welcome to my little Dark-Lightwood world.

Enjoy.


	2. 1 Winter Garden

**Chapter 1. Winter Garden**

My love is like first steps in this snow, baby,

I follow you everywhere you go, baby.

The pain as light has come to wake you

But you will never realize

That I inspire the dreams that guide you baby.

I follow the winds that bring the cold, baby,

I light a fire in your soul, baby.

The lightest touch of feathers falling

My love might be invisible

But I inspire the dreams that guide you, baby

You're a half a world away

But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.

And before you sleep at night

You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.

Your singing satellite

You say a prayer

You say a prayer

You're a half a world away

But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.

And before you sleep at night

You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.

You're a half a world away

But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.

And before you sleep at night

You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.

_Satellite by Oceanlab (Chill Trance Mix)_

http:/www. youtube .com/watch?v=3QB1q30Akzk&feature=related

(remove spaces)

**W**inter in all its glory held nothing upon the summer yet seemed to last too long. For shame the sky that held the day in misery as now even the angels wept in the passing of a beloved grandmother with the misty rain that had not stopped since his arrival. She was the light of the very family the roots of their beloved tree, and all the world could be made up inside her hands that spun thread like spiders did their web to decorate tables. Aileen had spent most of her life sitting by the fire spinning life to dresses for Isabelle's dolls, laughing while her grandchildren played at her feet, and she would often whisper prayers as each thread looped within the other. It kept the safe, it kept them sacred, but most of all it kept her sane. Alec had often imagined her crochet needle a paintbrush, and the pieces that came to life often lived again later in his dreams.

"I'm sorry about your Grandmother Mr. Lightwood," the driver spoke to the sullen faced child of Neverfield Park, and studied his face carefully. Alec was the oldest of three, with careless black strands that fell over his pale blue eyes, and often brushed the tip of his slightly curved nose. He stood a good bit taller then most, and body was well defined. His face was sculpted perfectly and the rest of him was outlined with long lines and a slender frame. All of the lightwoods were beautiful, but it had always been Alec that carried that uncharted beauty, and though he was well past eighteen there within the back of the Rolls-Royce he felt as though he were a child returning home again. He had been no older then 4 years when he was sent to live with his grandmother due to the extravagant life his parents lived. It had been many years since the careful pale eyes of his own found comfort in the passing trees, and the gentle shift of his heart felt like the first footsteps in the snow, his eyes disturbing the surface and leaving imprints much the same. There was a certain peace to the gentle rolling hills of the English countryside that felt unspoiled, and the estate held that charm that made it appear it had always been there, growing along with the massive oak trees.

Through the rearview mirror the driver looked upon the boy, no longer a child and felt his heart ache for such loss. He knew all of the Lightwood children no matter what generation had depended upon the constant steady care of their beloved Aileen, but Alexander had always been the household favorite. As the first born he kept his place well within the staff's hearts; they had all come to watch him grow, and lived their own lives in the reflection of his eyes. His laughter was as fine as the Lady's gentle fingers brushing over ivory keys, and the light that reflected in his eyes a constant reminder that there was greatness yet to the household. When Alec didn't respond, the driver let his gaze fall forward only glancing every so often studying the young master with hope that he would catch a small glance of those bright eyes, but Alec kept them on the passing world outside.

The Neverfield Manor rest upon a small incline and the gardens that surrounded the estate were kept all year. Though there was not much that grew in the cold months they planted what kept their color the longest. The winter garden was but a place setting for the spring's treasures, but still Alec had always found it more beautiful then anything the warm weather had to offer.

He was a shy and careful artist who often walked the dead grounds of the winter garden in his youth searching for inspiration. _All things are beautiful Alexander, especially when they waiting for something greater, just think of Heaven and be reminded of the Spring. Like your paintings they always start out white and fresh and you paint them to life. Someday we will all be put to earth, and we will walk again in our winter garden on our way to Heaven. _She was a beloved woman. He would miss her greatly.

As the golden gates of the estate opened it was easy to ignore the flashing lights of the reports waiting to catch a glimpse of the most famously exploited family. However, all Alec could see was the earthy browns, and rich reds of the garden in slumber—his Grandmother's Winter Garden.

"You are the first to arrive," A voice spoke out to him and it startled Alec for he had not noticed the door had even been opened much less the car had stopped. "Your sister is due in an hour, and your parents this afternoon." A white gloved hand reached out to help the son of Neverfield (Never Never Land) from the escort, but Alec pressed on without it. Keeping his backpack close to him, he clung to the strap with both hands, and looked on through his mop of black strands. His clothes were disheveled from the drive, but in truth he had always been the shame of the Lightwoods when it came to fashion. Comfort was a luxury they knew well, but one he took often for granted. He wore an old worn sweater that was a size too big. and beaten jeans that were stained with the oil based paints he used at the university.

Keeping his head down to shelter his face from the restless rhythm of the cameras at the gates he made his way up the grand staircase to the formal French doors, and was overwhelmed by the many familiar faces that came to welcome him home._ It was just Alec, the awkward boring son of Neverfield. He is never part of anything important, never has anyone of fame on his arm, nor part of any scandal. His pictures never sell for much, _but they did sell.

Lined upon the carpet the staff would smile one by one thankful to have him home once again, and of all the dreadful reasons to be home he had never been so relieved. After this past year, the death somehow didn't come as a surprise, but Alec would be happy to be here for a while. This was his true family: the woman who dressed him as a child, The man who taught him to fence, The cook who snuck him cookies, and even the estate's groundkeeper who had always smelled like the rich musky earth she tended. There were many new faces, but familiar ones all the same. They had not changed much despite the apparent age that could not be stopped.

"Welcome home, young master." A familiar voice spoke from the last of the group and Alec would be quick to find his mentor, the only real father he had ever known, the one who was never too busy to listen or too busy to answer his constant questions as a child.

"Hodge," Alec smiled against the man's chest as they embraced and it was apparent that despite how tall he had grown he would never catch up to this man. Hodge had been the overseer to everything that pertained to Alec's upbringing; his education, his manners, and his outlook on life. He taught him to defend himself against jealousy in their private schools, hired a master swordsman to help challenge his anger, and often rewrote text books to better suit his philosophy that even the university had adapted. He was a brilliant mind if not a little bit insane, but he held together the Lightwoods even still—no matter how far apart their lives had all gone.

"Come we have much to talk about, and I bet you are ready to rest. Bring Master Lightwood some tea." Hodge spoke to the maid who gave a bob of her head, but stilled as Alec spoke up for himself.

"Actually I would like something cold to drink, soda perhaps with lots of ice, and prepare my breakfast. I didn't have time to eat before the flight. You can send it to my room." He stopped for a moment to see the eager faces awaiting their commands. "It is good to see you all, thank you." _For always being here._ He gave them all one more small little smile before he was taken under the dark wing of his mentor and lead up to his room. How strange it was to be here again, and even stranger to be here knowing the rest of his family wasn't far behind; this would be the first time in nearly 5 years they would all be under the same roof, held inside the same large open bay windows; where they could for once watch the world pass by instead of always being on the outside looking in at their lives through the fame that came with their name.

_Lightwood._

**A/N: The lyrics are from the song Satellite by Oceanlab, and I deeply encourage you to listen to that intoxicating melody. Also Magnus is coming in later I promise, just want to get the family set up first. I also do not have a Beta, and if anyone would like to volunteer. I would greatly appreciate it, so please bare with me.**

**Also fast reviews get the next chapter faster.**

**Thank you a thousand times over for reading.**


	3. 2 They Break the Most Beautiful Things

**Chapter 2. Center of the Sun**

Young girl in the market

Music to the men

When the men leave

Her eyes are red

When her eyes are closed again she sees the dark market of above

And she sings

'They say the most horrible things

But I hear violins, when I close my eyes

I am at the center of the sun

And I cannot be hurt

By anything this wicked world has done'

Young boy in the market

Follows all the men

When the men leave

He's out of his head

When his eyes are closed again he sees the dark market of above

And he sings

'They break the most beautiful things

But I hear violins, when I close my eyes

I am at the center of the sun

And I cannot be hurt

By anything this wicked world has done

I look into your eyes

And I am at the center of the sun

And I cannot be hurt

By anything this wicked world has done'

Center of the sun

Young boy in the market

Sees the girl alone

And asks her

'Have you lost your way home?'

She sings

'You say the most beautiful things, just like my violins'

I look into your eyes

I am at the center of the sun

And I cannot be hurt

By anything this wicked world has done

When I close my eyes

I am at the center of the sun

And I cannot be hurt

By anything this wicked world has done

'Cause

I hear violins

I hear violins

I hear violins

I hear violins

Center of the sun

I hear ...violins

~Center of the Sun, by Conjure One

http:/www. Youtube .com/watch?v=BA-8yznys7k

_**7 Years Ago…**_

_Thirteen years old.._

"_Hey Lightwood." A voice laughed from behind him, and in his youth he watched this scene a thousand times. Alec would be standing at his locker exchanging books for the next class his designer bag hanging at his side as he replaced it. However, the sound of the leather satchel hit hard against the iron as his face was shoved up against the cold surface. Their laughter spilled as Alec who had never been as tough as they or as willing to fight back was robbed of his lunch money. "What's this Lightwood?" Alec's hair had always been too dark or either too long, but when it was assaulted he felt himself wishing to be rid of it even more. He gritted his teeth as they pulled his head back to force him to watch as his sketchpad was taken from his bag. The pages were opened and their laughter suddenly was overbearing. "Just stupid sketches of trees." The red letter wearing jock tore the pages out one by one. The entire school was there or so it seemed laughing at him. They revered him as too good for them, and often masked their jealousy with acts of hate. Being famous was the worse kind of sin, and often prosecuted for being much of the same as crime. It wasn't his fault. _

"_No!" Alec cried fighting against those who held him, "Stop that!" his face was red burning with rage those eyes crystal blue eyes were starting to water. He had worked so hard on those; a present for his grandmother. She felt them all connected with the world around them, and related to the company of trees. 'We are like them Alexander.' She would often say. 'With our feet on the ground we reach for Heaven. She could name them all, told him stories about them, and often tied ribbons to their branches in the Spring.'_

"_Ooooh, Dan you better give that back the little baby is starting to cry." They taunted him until all his lessons of self-control fell away one by one like the pages of his book. Alec dug the toes of his fine leather boots into the shin of his captors until they released him with a cry. It was in a violent rage did he fling himself upon the boy nearly six years older. It wasn't uncommon for schools to be shared split between the private sectors. The grades were not divided by age but by intellect, and Alec was well beyond his years. _

_Across the way a small group that gathered watched with amused looks on their faces this happened nearly everyday almost like clockwork, but still it never got old. Alec Lightwood was always being robbed of his money, pestered for being who he was, but it rarely got this far. Often the in-crowd had hardly anything to do with the everyday life of even the more common. They were the class of elite, the wealthiest heirs and heiresses in the entire school, and they clung to each other like fine silk did in the heat of summer. Everything about them was flawless from perfectly manicured nails, to well-groomed brows, and clothes that always went exactly as they should—this was what it was like to be beautiful. _

"_They are so cruel." A voice lifted from a boy's lips like smoke from water, it sounded as smooth over the surface of his glossed lips, so clear they appeared to be glass- His one true proclamation of self-expression. They restricted the rest. Communists. He couldn't dress up his uniform, nor wear anything on his eyes, but he found ways around that often. He was a tall boy one of the oldest in the class, with hair as black as the night and eyes as green as the grass in summer. His skin was olive in color though flushed with the tan still remaining from his summer in Spain. _

"_Oh they are just having a little fun, Magnus." The leader of the pack smirked over her own cherry painted lips, which often reminded him of blood. "It will make him a better artist." At that the pack around her laughed lightly, but watched their gay with concern. He didn't need to be doing anything to draw attention to himself, but there he was pressing through the crowd. This was about to get ugly; he could feel it in his bones._

_The pages of Alec's books scattered everywhere falling like the white feathers of the angels as they hit the floor one by one, and a sound escaped was like the break of a frozen branch in the winter's forest. The jock would soon cry out holding onto his nose, looking down at Alec's swollen hand in surprise. Had he just hit him? It hurt to! Blood splattered across the pictures Alec had drawn, the trees seeming overly morbid now with the red stains where leaves should be. It made chills chase Magnus's spine._

"_You son of a bitch! I'll kill you!" Dan exclaimed. It was the truth, and as he pulled his hand free from his nose many others around them made sounds of bile creeping up behind their tongues with the sight of the blood. Dan the jock would soon take the smaller boy by the collar of his shirt, lifting him as if he were a doll, and pulled back a fist that appeared as big as his face. _

_Magnus watched as Alec closed his eyes, and braced himself for the hit. This was it? No more fight? Danielle Stratton would put this boy six feet under._

"_No." He spoke only once, a command as his hand pressed against the Jock's chest and the force nearly breaking in the lockers that were soon assaulted with the force of the blow. The contact had cracked like lightning so close the thunder didn't separate itself, and the electricity danced over the edges of his perfectly painted nails. _

_The hall went eerily still despite the gasps coming from the air that couldn't fill Dan's lungs fast enough, his breath had blown away with the wind that seemed to fill the hall in a flash, but die just as suddenly. A draft perhaps? Alec stood there clutching his book to his chest in amazement, but quickly snapped from his daze to start picking up the torn bits of his art. The sound of his little tears were muffled by the back of his too long black sleeve as he ran it across his face, and Magnus's heart broke. He was just a child. A child forced to grow up too fast._

"_Here, darling. Let me help you." Magnus offered gently, but Alec snatched the drawings from his hands. When their eyes met he was taken back by how blue Lightwood's eyes were, and how much more electric they seemed when red with his anger. The child stood with his sketches in his arms and pushed past Magnus with such a force that it nearly knocked him over, and Magnus would snort as his pack of she-wolves came to either side of him. _

"_Ungrateful brat, they all are. The whole family." They seemed to speak out in unison, the girls around him, but Magnus could only stand there marveling at the pure beauty that had just looked into his soul. They were haunted pale enchanting eyes, but instinct spoke the horrible truth—that would be the last time he ever saw them. It made his soul ache, and his heart break. However, with the following day rumors spread quickly of the Lightwoods pulling their children from the private school, and moving them once again._

**A/N: This chapter is again designed to let you in on the past. I hope you enjoy it and please review. Reviews are the driving force for me to continue. Thank you so much.**

**Also, I use **_**italics **_**as the past, thoughts, and scenes in a scene.**


	4. 3 Underground

**Chapter 3. Underground**

No one can blame you for walking away

But too much rejection, uh huh...

No love injection

Life can be easy

It's not always swell

Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl

'cause it hurts like hell

But down in the underground

You'll find someone true

Down in the Underground

A land serene, a crystal moon

A-ha

It's only forever

Not long at all

Lost and Lonely

That's underground, underground

Daddy, daddy, get me out of here

Heard about a place today

Nothing ever hurts again

repeat

Sister, sister, please take me down,

gotta get underground

_~Underground, David Bowie from Labyrinth _

**T**wo worlds apart it seemed they were, there is a mighty fine line between the life above and the life below. The streets of the night were wet with the rainy mist that threatened above, falling of an unforgiving winter that would not let spring return. Her cold icy hands held tightly to the London night-life as ecstasy pulsed through the streets like blood through the veins, and the vessel that carried it was _his_ ever patterned lips.

Laughter as wicked as the world that bore him, spilled like the liquor on the sidewalks as the downworlders came to life in the midst of the night. Forever young their drug induced haze made midnight seem like morning, and they cherished the sounds of the clock tower bringing to life _their _hour—the witching hour.

Midnight fell hand in hand with the madness and mayhem of what it was like to be king. A goblin king, a gypsy king, a king of spades with an ace up his sleeve, Magnus Bane had it all. He held them all by each painted finger, and heavily decorated hands. With wrists that flashed with jewels offered to him from his fans he opened wide to receive their praise. He was a tall man, with shoulders board that narrowed into a fine line when the eye followed the spine. He held a thin frame yet was rock solid from the chiseled cheek bones, to the tips of his toes. Jet black, his strands fell like a river when wet down his neck, but on this night stood as erect with everything he stood for. Glitter and grease lined his eyes to represent the rebellion of self-expression, and a compressed youth. Through, shadow he was born again, and given everything that was emerging from the streetwise party as if it were his kingdom. In the very heart of it all, and the cheers that followed were cries of passions heated flame for what was there once more. They _adored_ him, they _cherished_ him, and the world of the _Light_ feared him. He was King in his own right, to all that were lost and broken, and to those who had nothing left. He offered them freedom from depression; he offered them a voice in oppression, and immortality at the edge of a little glass vial that went down like a burning drug.

The stage was set, the figures on it his pawns, his knight, his rook, and his bishop; and in the midst of the crowd the only silent figure—his queen. Camille watched as Magnus took a drink from the silver goblet the red contents spilling on either side of his lips, and from his mouth a battle cry was born.

"Tonight we celebrate our freedom!" The music roared through the square as black painted fingers started from the top of the neck of the vintage Gibson and walked the keys to the bottom. Passions cry did scream at the night, as they made themselves known and chanted his name. The drums mimicked the pulse of the thundering underworld, thumping hard against his chest, as his heart did much of the same. Lights from paper lanterns burned, and through broken windows flashing lights lit the wet stone of the streets below as many hung out the second story windows not afraid of falling.

Magnus held up his hand, and suddenly everything became quiet. They waited for him to start, waited with anticipation that hurt, bouncing on their steps the sea of people wanted to hear him say it, they could taste his words, feel his words, and most of all they BELIEVED.

"For who have never been good enough!" He spoke into the microphone that howled as the crowd cried out again, "Tonight we celebrate _that_ freedom. To be just as we damn well please, to be as good as we damn well can." Chills chased his spine as he saw their smiles, the tears in their eyes—they all just wanted to be loved. "For the fat kid who was never beautiful enough, the dreamer who was never smart enough, the lover who didn't love enough, the seer who was never aloud to express their vision of this damn world!" He started in with such passionate words that could rival the great speakers of his time. From civil rights movements, to equality, and like another _who had a dream._ "The one scarred because their daddy beat them, or their mother's branded them with an image that couldn't live up to. For those who never fit in! And to those who never understood! Those who didn't follow the rules, but never committed a crime! For those who refused to be anything LESS that what _you _are!" Again his hands pulled down the neck of the guitar, and the drums thrummed once in a set of three beats. "It is our time! This is our night!"

Here he was free. On this stage he didn't have to hide his eyes, 'contacts' he wore so well, but could never take out. They were part of his costume right? The cat eyes that could burn in the light, and see in the night were as much as him as the air that burned his lungs as the cold rain continued.

"We were born this way!" It was amazing how their cheers brought about the sparks of his fingers, as blue as the electric eyes he longed for, _he remembered them so clearly looking up at him with his art clutched to his chest. _Eyesthat he watched in magazines and on the news, and when the song started Magnus went through the motions, but never returned from his high. Magnus's soul left his body, turning to look down at himself playing on the half broken stage in the part of town that no one dare stray if they_ belonged_ anywhere else. This world was for the outcasts, for the degenerates, the ones never good enough to live anywhere but Underground; and for those branded by the government as outlaws.

_A final report confirms the death of Madame Aileen Lightwood, who passed away on her estate this February afternoon. She had taken her afternoon walk through her winter garden, and was discovered sometime later. Her death follows heartbreakingly on the fall out of the immediate relations. A feud that tore the family apart must be put aside as loved ones gather to mourn their beloved mother and grandmother. Our hearts and prayers go out to the world's most famous family_

Magnus's voice sang the words to his song of tolerance and acceptance, but his mind listened to the report over and over again. He couldn't help but feel that somehow Alec needed to hear this.

'_She left it all to the oldest grandson?' the reporter laughed, 'When her will was made public five years ago that is when the family feud started.' Another commented, speaking the broadcasting audience as if they never cared if the Lightwoods heard them. _

'_Why shouldn't it be left to Alec, he's been on her hip since he was born, and his estranged parents dumped.' An image flashed over the screen of the tv, in Magnus's memory of the report of Alec no older then 3 clinging to the skirts of the Madame as she spoke to the public at a premiere in France. His bright blue eyes looked out from behind her skirts afraid of the flashing lights, and though Aileen smiled to the crowd her gentle fingers were curled through the boy's hair reassuringly. They printed it often in books. _

Magnus saw this image even as his eyes watched the crowd swell like the ocean before him, and when the rain started again their eyes turned towards the heavens.

"Tears of the Angel." He rejoined his body as he snapped back into the reality, and as his own head fell back to let the rain wash over him. None cared of anything being destroyed, for God was in the rain, and the Devil always provided the replacement.

The wet night only made the performance come to life all over again with the black kohl that lined his eyes smearing down his cheek, and the spikes of his hair fell like a river of black over his eyes. His black clothes clung to his body outlining every rock hard surface beneath, and his Queen marveled at the beautiful man before her as he they were all baptized in the rain. Through his fallen hair that curled against his lips, his eyes opened with that bright burning amber light that made up his eyes, and Camille's skin chilled. She loved this man like her brother, and was often accused of being his lover. Though neither of them loved what one should.

Sirens howled in the distance just as the music came to an end and the crowd started to scatter with their laughing faces looking back as the chase was part of the thrill of it all. Glass broke of the shop fronts as the torchers were thrown through the surface splintering in the rain, and the cold air breathed life to the hot fire.

"Hurry," Camille moved onto the stage to throw his coat over his bare arms to lead their King from the light and into the night. She didn't need to lead him through the streets very far before the vacant labyrinth of darkened alleyways opened and the entrance to the Underground was reveled with a snap of his fingers. The very earth moved from beneath them creating stairs that stepped down into the vining tunnels of the world beneath the city.

"How was I?" His voice spoke darkly as it closed off again and they were alone. His voice was more a hiss, strained from the time on stage.

"Wonderful as ever, a little over the top, but really you can not take credit for making it rain." She smirked her ruby red lips a deadly sin to many men, but it was the death behind them that made the hearts of many cease to beat, "But really Magnus, you seem distracted." She smirked as their steps moved over the slimy stone, and the trash of the above. Newspapers, thrown away litter, and the forgotten made up much of the trash that brought character to the Underground. However, with the heavy rains of the dawning spring it would all wash away to the sea.

"I can't get the Lightwoods out of my mind," He admitted freely as the storm grate above them sounded out with footsteps running on the surface, and flashed with blue lights as the riot still continued on the surface.

"Madame Lightwood was the very face of peace and civility, of course we are all going to be affected." Camille spoke as she kept close to her friend, who had been there to catch her when her own family fell from greatness. They were outcasts too, though the Bane Manor still stood, and Magnus had a life he could easily slip back into there. He had been one of the few to leave his comfortable life in the name of the others. He hated that lifestyle of false smiles and ridiculous parties. Too many suffered for it to be a celebration of wealth all the time, and their false smiles killed him inside.

"She was a great part of this nation," Camille continued, "A strong woman who stood on her own, and though her children seemed to take advantage of their lives not all of them are bad—look at Alec, he turned out alright attending the University, studying to be a politician as well still keeping to his art. Handsome too." She smirked looking up the much taller frame that walked beside her.

Camille always knew how to pull the truth from Magnus as if it had a been a game, and one she played so well. Her words were the deadly Knight on the board of black and white. She knew how to move her pawns. She got him to talk about Alec, knowing for the past seven years he had perhaps been one of the only to follow the story of that Lightwood in the shadow of his family's ego.

"The will did not leave the rest of the family without anything, but Alec got the estate, he got the title, and with it a place in humankind history. He should be happy right?" Magnus asked her, caught by a page of the newspaper that stuck to the bottom of his boot, and he bent to pick it up. It was an image of the family at the funeral; smiling for the press at best they could—always knowing how to put on a false front, all of them but the oldest grandchild. "He always looks so sad. So lost..like something is haunting him." Magnus ran a fingerless gloved hand over the image and down the side of Alec's face. He imagined how smooth his skin must be, how soft it was from the salty water seeping into his skin from the tears that were shed. It was a morbid romantic gesture, but Magnus would have done anything to see him smile; to comfort him. He has grown up so much, but there was still an innocent child behind blue eyes that he would always hold dear to his heart.

"Magnus darling. Let it go. You have your obligations here now, tearing _his_ city apart. Listen to the streets" She gestured to the world above them, "They are running black with the ashes of your destruction. You can't turn away now. _They _need you. It has already started, the revolution is upon us. There isn't time for the Lightwoods." She pulled the paper from his hand, and with it he felt his heart follow.

**A/N: If you are lost I'm sorry, let me give you a little quick recap of what is going on so far?**

**-Think of Alec's family as royalty, and Alec darling a Prince about to be made King. Though there is still a King and Queen of England, they are land owners, and hold seats in parliament. Alec just got that at 19. Pretty spiffy huh?**

**-Think of Magnus as the revolutionary voice that rises against power. The government which I'm still working out puts restrictions on everything, and as cliché as it sounds anti-gay, anti-tolerance. I'm not too sure how far I'll go with that, but think of Nazi Germany on a less.. severe scale. (though it will get yucky) **

**Also, I have to say the inspiration from this scene came from the Lady Gaga concert I went to this past summer, and I think should be celebrated with everyone playing 'Born this Way'. As cheesy as it sounds, I stood in that sea of people when she gave a speech to us thousands and thousands of people and cried because as wild as she is she preaches what I believe in most—acceptance. No one is any better then me because they are prettier, or smarter, or richer. We are all the same on the inside, and a lot of this story will have that in it. **

'_**It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M , Just put your paws up 'Cause you were born this way, baby.**_

**Love you all! Keep reading! And PLEASE say something. 100 readers in 3 hours and the beautiful ****Bookworm24601**** has been the only one to say anything.**


	5. 4 Light Pending to Pay Its Debt

**Chapter 4. Light Pending to Pay Its Debt**

_The leaves tell_

_of the flower's death_

_of the hours spent_

_in this graveyard_

_no one tending to its pain_

_no one tending to its shame_

_Your eyes tell_

_of a star's death_

_its house drained_

_of old memories_

_of night holding within its claim_

_the light pending to pay its debt_

_~From Heaven to Dust by Azam Ali_

_Ashes to ashes, dust to dust._.

**A**ileen's body had not been in the ground long enough to even be cold before the taillights of the cars left all at once. Leaving him then alone with only the memory of them all standing around the grave seemed like a crime. It was the first time in years they had all been together, and they should have been leaning on each other instead of the coats they all held on to keep out the last of winter's chill. No one spoke to him; no one spoke at all, not even his sister who Alec was very close to, despite the feud going on between them all. She was afraid of being accused of being on one side or the other so she remained silent on the subject. Isabelle was a fierce woman, a leader in her own right, and a powerful figure behind the face of the family. She was the public face that her grandmother had been, and was given part of the estate to her death; the vacation home, and the charities that her grandmother organized. Alec couldn't help but stare at her he missed her greatly.

_I love you brother.._Isabelle's hair whispered across her lips, as he read her eyes like very fine letters in a well-printed book when she finally looked up at him. She was so busy with her life, traveling from one continent to the other, she hardly made it home to be with her family—to show her respects to a grandmother who had loved them all dearly. Yet, there she was standing strong against the bitter wind, and he couldn't help but marvel at her. When they were alone again, she stood on her toes to whisper. "I'm sorry, Alec. I've got to get back. I'm just too busy. Call me later?" She touched his cheek leaving him at the window while he watched them all leave him. His very soul cried to make them come back. He was afraid of doing this on his own, but soon the Prince would be made King as he took the title of Lord.

The help came in and out of his life like the days passing into night, the staff, and each one of them with a new task; documents to sign, budgets to approve, and to ease him into his life. Alec didn't even have to wash his own hands if he didn't want to, but as he watched the world outside his window he felt more and more like a prisoner instead of a privileged son of fortune.

Days passed turning into weeks until the sun would rise on the first day of spring—_finally._

"You have such an important role to fill, I am afraid your schooling didn't prepare you for this. We had no idea it would have been so soon. She died so suddenly, and it is a shame they couldn't find the cause. Old age I suppose." Hodge spoke as he watched the tailors move around the boy in preparation as to what was to come. Their hands moved about him, touching him, measuring the length of his arms or the inseam of his stride, and when the tailors questioned of the color of the new suiting a young gentleman should wear Alec would open his mouth to offer a reply only to be cut off by Hodge's words. "Keep him in a dark pallet, it will make people respect you, Alec, and will you send in the barber. We have got to do something about your hair." Hodge brushed his fingers through Alec's dark strands as he led him to stand before the dressing chamber. There the help would move to undress him.

"I'm not cutting my hair," He protested shaking free of Hodge's grasp, but took his stance on the stool as the tailor took to a knee to continue to measure him.

"Alexander..the House of Lords," Hodge started but was cut off quickly.

"No. I'm not cutting my hair. I let you dress me up like some pompous prick, move me around like some pawn in political games, but no where in the book does it say I have to cut my hair. Besides I can't cut it, in class we were working on self portraits and I already started." He turned to face the mirror and missed Hodge's frown.

"Alec..I have been meaning to tell you. You can not return to the University." Hodge hated how he dreaded the words, but was amazed at how easy they fell. However, Alec's face in the reflection broke his heart. "This I am afraid _is_ in the books. The University will send you your things, and we have already removed you from the enrollment. I will have them return any of your work so that you may finish here, and hire the best instructor to pick up where you left off, but it is not safe. You have to put it all aside, you born into this Alec."

_Born into this…_

The lights were bright as the surrounding mirrors felt like a cage of eternity. The reflections were infinite, and far too honest, as he stood defeated. It was a brutal reminder at how far he had come, and Hodge couldn't help but notice how tired Alec looked. Always had the young master been thin, no longer a child, but grown into a man. A seat holder in the house of Lords at 19.

Alec stood there on display while his body was measured, and Hodge came to stand just over his shoulder to catch Alec's gaze in the reflection. The color of his eyes were as blue as the sky, but the shadow of his long strands of ebony black fell over his eyes to hide how upset he was. He had always done that to mask his emotions, and no doubt the reason he wished to not be free of the hair that barely touched his chin, "Alexander…Look at me."

Alec let go of his thoughts to look at his mentor in the mirror, and noticed how the lights were not as forgiving to him either. Hodge had turned 50 in the past year, and it showed in deep lines around his eyes. His silver hair fell straight down his back like a curtain of storm clouds, and he was a good foot or so taller then he. All his life Alec had trusted this man, but ever since the passing of his grandmother he had noticed a deep change. There was something dark, something sinister in the way he took over Alec's life. It tore at his heart, and kept him up at night for he always felt his eyes upon him. The way he looked at him now even gave him that deep pit of dread that made his heart thud sickly against the inside of his chest. His stomach turned, and he felt himself clam up. The last few weeks he had felt himself keeping out of the eye of this man, but now half naked Alec was displayed before him like one of his paintings in the hall. His flesh chilled, raised over the skin pulled tightly over his muscles, and the hairs stood up on the back of his neck. However, it was when Hodge's hand came to touch his bare shoulder did he feel the sickness set in.

"Alexander, you are cold.." Concern filled his grey eyes as his invasion over his skin continued, but Hodge's face turned to the tailor urging him to leave them. Somewhere Alec was reminded of a snake moving through the brush, how he felt like this man's prey, and started to panic on the inside; he didn't want to be left alone in private company with this man. Hodge's fingers were course, rough on the edges from his years working for the family, and as they fingered the skin on Alec's back he felt his body tense up.

"I'm fine." Alec pulled away, turning to the tailor to thank him, but he had to pull his shirt back on. He wanted to run, somewhere he could throw up, but as he pulled the black button up he felt safe. Though they were not his normal clothes, they felt like a suit of armor as he shielded himself from the lingering stare of his mentor. Always he wore this clothes a size too big, so the sleeves could hide his hands, hide the skin that was no one else's but his own, yet slowly those items were being pulled from his wardrobe; replaced with fine suits. He had never thought himself as handsome as Jace, or as beautiful as Isabelle. Yet now he wasn't so sure, and searched for any identity at all. He was being changed to what the _world_ expected him to be, and the lifestyle reflected in his attire.

The shirt he wore now was fitted over his broad chest, and the dark denim of his jeans fit snug around the legs flaring over his black riding boots that he now started to pull on. He had to get out of this house, suddenly there wasn't any air left in it. He needed to feel the Spring warmth on his skin, and the sun on his back.

"Going somewhere?" Hodge asked, but Alec ignored him turning to pull the leather biker jacket, by Joe Rocket; sporty in style, but durable. The cut showed off the broad nature of his shoulders, and the rough undertone to his personality. When he turned for the hall, Hodge called out after him and Alec could see the course scowl he was getting even without looking, "Alexander. Wait."

"I'm just going for a ride. I won't be gone long." He wouldn't give Hodge or anyone else time to allow them to protest. He was king to this castle was he not? He was a Lightwood after all, and would go ride his bike if he damn well pleased. They couldn't take that from him, or change anything of it. Alec had been interested in sports bikes ever since his father took him on his first ride. It was one of the few memories he had of Robert Lightwood before they left him to travel the world, and every year on his birthday his dad would promise him one when he was old enough to ride. Finally, the MV F4CC black on black had been waiting one year right in the foyer of the grand estate. Alec would think it from his father until he called to thank him, but soon was made to realize it was from his grandmother. Robert, had forgot.

"Don't go far!" Alec heard Hodge scream as the roar came to life and he took off.

This was his secret identity, he felt like Superman when the tops of the hills were crested going far too fast—he could fly. The helmet was tinted so dark no one would see his face, and by now the photographers that waited outside the gates were no longer there. He had half a mind to never come back, and as the city opened before him he felt as though he were simply part of it beating alongside it like a heartbeat. He could pretend he had a normal life now, and even though the face of his family's fame was starting to catch up to him- no one expected this out of him.

Alec road for hours, listening to the music played in his helmet while the thrum of the bike beneath him pulsed through his chest. In the distance the sun was starting to set, and he couldn't help be reminded of the fire that he watched blaze from his bedroom window on the distant city the night after his grandmother's service. The nose of his bike was turned towards the estate, as he would start to make his way back, but once he was stopped at a light the music on the radio inside his helmet came to a halt as the dj started in on the weather,

_~**~'And in other news, officials say the west side fire is finally under control, but two weeks later the death count still climbs. The attack on the city has state officials working to put together suspects, but the leaders of the rebellion refuse to answer any pleas, and their identity remains a mystery. The area will likely be condemned, but many still mourn what was lost. Officials from the state fear that this is just the beginning, and offer a cash reward to any information on an arrest. ' ~**~_

Alec revved the throttle of the bike knowing he was not far from the West End, and something deep in his chest begged him to just go home. However, he would signal to make the turn to head in that direction. It was _forbidden_, and that made him want it even more.

**A/N: The sun is setting, and the night is coming Alec, you really should just go home to your safe little world. Shouldn't he just turn around and go home? Mwhahahahahaaha **

**For those of you confused, I do apologize. I'm going to re-do the last few chapters to help that, and that was the soul purpose of this chapter. As you can tell, Alec comes from a very wealthy family, and from what you will learn later an over powering government. That will all be explained when he goes to his first meeting at Parliament. **

"**But where is the romance? Where is the dirty twists you promised?" ******Points to Hodge.****** He's a bad bad bad man, and the romance will come m'dears. I promise. Alec is heading to the 'Underground', and we all know who runs that awesome place!**

**It might be a bit before I update again as the work week starts, and I'll be busy. However, more reviews get me to write faster! Seriously. Even if its just a few little lines I really want to read what you think. 45 people have read it all the way through in the past 24 hours, and 4 have said something. **

**I'm a Gemini and I know its hard to read my writing, so I'm going to work with a Beta who will keep my mind focused so please hang in there, and thanks for stopping by!**

**~Brittany**

**p.s. I adore this fic .net/s/6389489/1/Unstoppable by the awesome, xxlifeinwordsxx and think you should go check it out!**


	6. 5 Stopwatch Hearts

**Chapter 5. They don't beat…(they tick)**

Not that I'm that hard to please

But lately when I hit the street

It's hum-de-dum

(hum-de-dum-de dum)

When the hard times hit

They hit the biz

The hardest hit make the best of it

(The hardest hit make the best of it)

(The hardest hit make the best of it)

Strong dollar stockbroker right to the bottom

Sink down with your boomtown

High water realtors arrive

With numbers over their eyes

Stopwatch hearts

Good god I love the party-starved

Businessmen with stopwatch hearts

They don't beat

(they tick)

They don't beat

(they tick)

Good god I love the party-starved

Businessmen with stopwatch hearts

They don't beat

They don't beat

'Round that corner

Down the street

There's a dive where working girls retreat

From their hum-de-dum

(hum-de-dum-de-dum)

So tilt that felt hat to the side

Thrift store 3 for .99

Gonna get me one

Gonna get me one

(and get it every night)

Strong dollar stockbroker right to the bottom

Sink down with your boomtown

High water realtors arrive

With numbers over their eyes

Stopwatch hearts

Good god I love the party-starved

Businessmen with stopwatch hearts

They don't beat

(they tick)

They don't beat

(they tick)

Good god I love the party-starved

Businessmen with stopwatch hearts

They don't beat

They don't beat

Good god I love the party-starved

Businessmen with stopwatch hearts

They don't beat

(they tick)

They don't beat

(they tick)

Good god I love the party-starved

Businessmen with stopwatch hearts

They don't beat

They don't beat

(they tick)

So tilt that felt hat to the side

Thrift store 3 for .99

Gonna get me one

(and get it every night)

~Stopwatch Hearts, Delirium

http:/www. Youtube .com/watch?v=5R6yVEXivNM

(remove the spaces)

**U**nderground everything seemed two shades darker then on the world above no matter how much light filtered in through the cracks in the pavement. The rows of the candles on the walls appeared to laugh as they flickered over the black brick; casting even darker reflections on the caving ceilings above from the murky dark water. _This _was his kingdom, and his throne sat in the center of an old abandoned service station, with ceilings arched high in cathedral points. The air was stale, musty with the scent of the fresh rainwater that ran through the underground rivers, and carried the fallen debris out to sea. They made this their home. It was a place where the forgotten went instead of being placed, but still it was often referred as the 'Oubliette'—the place where you put the forgotten.

**Oubliette** |ˌoōblēˈet|

_noun_

a secret dungeon with access only through a trapdoor in its ceiling; a place to put things you wish to forget.

Magnus sat on his throne like every fairy tale villain that had ever been painted in forbidden lore, and dark fiction where you are pulled into his world _knowing _it was wrong. His face was calm like the sea before the storm, and eyes amused with the color of amber green glass as he looked about to the gathering that celebrated their victory. They were no longer ignored, no longer 'forgotten' and their revenge couldn't have come at a better time. It was time for the 'outcasts' to take back their freedom, and their rights.

Twenty years ago, the first King in nearly a thousand years, set on the United Nations throne, and stripped the laws against freedom of choice, freedom of religion, and freedom of loving who you wished. The King had an idea of what the perfect figure should be, how the world wouldn't suffer the loss of those he did not deem as perfect, but he did it in such a way that the rest of the world could easily ignore. Black lists were created of music that was forbidden, art that couldn't be displayed, and a strict bible description of what a family was supposed to be was listed out in laws. Families could only have child for every certain point in their income, homosexuality was forbidden, and those who tried to go behind the system were killed on the spot in assignations on the street; their blood veined through the cobblestone and colored the water of the Underground often, too often. These were trying times, and what was worse the rest of the world never knew. It was easy to not see something that couldn't buy your vote. Magnus had not thought he would have ever seen something so close to Nazi Germany ever happen again, but here it was unfolding before his eyes.

With his legs thrown over the arms of the great chair, the leader of the rebellion gave a heavy sigh as his eyes traveled from the celebrating gathering below to the great arches of the ceiling above. Large roots of the trees above clung to the ceiling as they had broken free from the stone to snake across the brick. It was amazing to him that even down here God's creations thrived with the fruits of his 'sin'. The ground above the station was a park, long ago the city knew well they could not build on top of hollow ground, and Magnus thought of the great trees that he lived beneath; he thought of Alec's drawings, and the blood that stained them. Had it been a premonition?

"You are thinking about him again," Camille's voice smoothed over the noise and brought his attention back down from the roots on the ceiling. He snapped his mind shut of his distant thoughts. She always knew everything, and he hated it when she called him out on the truth.

"So what if I was. What is it to you?" He smirked settling his back against the purple velvet of his throne. The color brought out the light in his eyes, and reflected in the glitter around his eyes. Everything about Magnus was an extreme from the tight black leather pants that hung too low on his hips, to the decorations at his wrists; the way he wore his long black hair up in wild spikes, and to the rare occasion he wore it down—it was up today, looking just as lethal as the slits in his eyes.

Camille's hand came to touch his shoulder as he made her way out from behind the throne like a cat slinking to his lap, and from there her ruby red lips pulled back into a devious smirk, "It would mean, M'dear, you are getting soft. We aim to take them all down, now how can we if one of us is soft on the other." She ran her hand up over his neck, and cupped his cheek. "You love him don't you?"

Magnus gave her a look that called her crazy without the words leaving his lips, she was insane—one of the many things he loved about her, but it was the truth, "Camille, Darling..how can I love him? I do not _know _him, the only time we have ever been face to face he was hardly 13. A child." He was surprised at himself for being so offended she would suggest such a thing, but it made him pull away from her to stand.

"He is still a child, Bane. Being 19 doesn't make you a man. Look at him," Camille retorted, her deadly black eyes pinning him where he stood with such a stare that he felt compelled to remain in one spot, but when she pointed her lethal finger to the images taped to the walls -Alec was there with a dart through his forehead, and one eye burnt out by a cigarette. The Underground had far too much fun laughing at those images of the Lord, Magnus couldn't stop them, but oh how his heart had hurt watching them do it. "He is one of them, Magnus, and you need to let me know right now if you have changed your mind. I have a lot riding on this, and can't turn back. Now, but I can't go forward without you. They don't listen to me like they do you, and I can't protect them as you can." She would be silenced as he brought his hands up to still her, but before he could speak he shivered with a wave of warmth as the wind traveled through the tunnels.

_Go up..go up above the ground, Magnus.. _The whisper on the wind, made his heart race as he felt pulled to surface. Something was up there, or was it someone? _Hurry..you are going to miss it…_It was almost a curse to be so in tune with the world around him, but suddenly Magnus simply desired nothing more to see who it was lurking above on _his _streets.

"Camille.." He lowered his hands as he looked back to her, not wanting to pull his eyes from the tunnel, "You have nothing to worry about, we have come this far. Now please..entertain your subjects." He mused with a smirk to her, and would let her take the crown of 'Underground' for the night—he was going out, he needed to be free, and for the first time the leader became the follower as he let his heart lead him to the surface.

**A/N: Now I know I said it might be a while, but I got a few questions about Magnus's part. I hope this helps. I know his scene was a bit confusing, but now you see what it is his rebellion is fighting for. Yeah I know it sounds a bit 'V for Vendetta', but hey..fan fiction right. **

"_**Whateva' I do what I want." **_

**^.^**

**Reviews get updates faster!**


	7. 6 Your Altar of Strengths

**Chapter 6. Your Altar of Strengths**

Earth. A biosphere.

A complex,

Subtly balanced life support system.

_Et turtur nidum,ubi reponat pullos suos_

_altaria tua Domine virtutum,_

_Rex meus, et Deus meus _

_And the turtledove a nest_

Where it might place its young

Your altar of strengths, Lord,

My king and my God,

We are floating over the line

Let us follow our mind

All of our life we'll wait for the answer

And the question is why

If we're following our mind

We can glide into light

No one knows if there'll be an answer

While we're morphing thru time

We are floating over the line

Let us follow our mind

All of our life we'll wait for the answer

And the question is why

We're just travellers

In endless space

If we're following our mind

We can glide into light

No one knows if there'll be an answer

While we're morphing thru time

~_Morphing Through Time, Engima_

_

* * *

_

"_**L**__ook Alexander," Aileen's voice smoothed across the Spring air, and her graceful hand would motion to the sidewalk artists with their paintings of pastels smoothed over the canvas in glorious display—it took his breath away. Her body tall walking with enough grace to make up for the way a three-year-old Alec toddled after her, clinging to the grand skirts of his beloved grandmother as she showed him 'the world'._

"_Look at how you can travel the world and still have your feet flat on the ground." She smiled letting her hand comb through his hair, as he looked up in amazement. A painting stuck to Alec that reminded him of her, and she looked amused as he tried to explain. The colors so vivid on the paintings even at the age of three Alec could compare them to the rose color on her face, and the coral of her dress._

"_The blue! Like eyes!" Alec's chubby little hand pointed out the color reaching to indicate it on the canvas, but Aileen was quick to take his hand in fear he would smear the coal._

"_Yes darling, like blue of the eyes, and here..look. Red, the sunset is red." She smiled looking down to him wanting him to relate the color._

"_Blood. Red like blood." He was satisfied with his answer, though Aileen's face became expressionless as she gave a look over her shoulder to gage their escort's reaction. The man just gave a shrug, but it was clear it bothered him too. Alec was far too young to make that connection._

"_Yes, Alexander…like blood."_

_

* * *

_

**B**lood that painted the sky now as the sun set in scarlet stages fused with glorious gold to carefully caress the impending purple of the dawning night. The vacant skyline stole his breath as the destruction made Alec pull off his helmet to better see with eyes not filtered through the glass. His black strands curled now at the ends, matted in places to his neck, and would only correct when he ran long slender fingers through the mop of ebony black.

"My god.." He whispered taking it all in, amazed from both protector and an artist's point of view. He didn't know if he would be angry or passionately relate to what just happened here.

The fire of the West Side had long been burnt out, but the imprint still remained on the scarred streets beneath his feet—charred black from the flicks of the flames, and the broken glass had melted against the stone in many places. The sound of the compacted glass caused his teeth to clench as it broke beneath his booted feet, reminding him of that one time he had hit Daniel Stratton in grade school. The destruction could have horrified any, but an artist always Alec found beauty in the world around him-even in death the colors were so brightly contrasted that he felt inspired. He needed this. Amazed by how morbid it all seemed, but he wasn't afraid.

All around him the buildings were burned to their bones, the raw exposed blackened skeletons eerily reached for the heavens like fingers clawing from the ground, and the ash fell like snow as it was disturbed by the breeze sticking to his ebony black hair. The larger bits of debris floated about as if they were lost, mourning of what once was, but wanting to settle again—it needing the comfort of home, and the bits of paper reminded him of how the blossoms fell from the trees in the Spring. Only an artist would be reminded of the trees of his grandmother's garden in such a mess as this.

When the city officials gained control of the fire, and officially condemned the area; they had deserted it, leaving it then until morning—something to brush under the rug as if it never happened. The lives lost here could be replaced, and the search for survivors was postponed until further notice leaving the streets abandoned—bare. It made him feel eerily alone.

_Enter our dark knight…_

A shadow passed over the sun, blocking the light if only for a moment causing Alec's attention to turn quickly at the darkened shadow that slid its way into the alleyway blending with the black stone, and lack of light. Alec thought he heard the rise and fall of a sigh.

"Hello?" He called out to the black empty space before him, his heart starting to pound in his chest as he realized he wasn't alone.

The silence chilled him; this street alone used to be full of vendors, and small little markets where faces of all different colors called out in hope you would desire anything from their stand. His Grandmother had loved this part of town. How dare someone take his solitude from him without making themselves known! This hit too close to home, and suddenly he felt himself come to life like a phoenix from the ash with the anger to see the culprits in chains. Somehow he knew whatever it was that was beyond the darkness would have the answers. It _burned_ in his chest as his electric blue eyes flared to life with the rage. Oh, how he could feel the firebird inside him clawing at his ribs ready to burn its way out.

"Whoever you are, come out, or are you too much of a coward._"_ Alec's arm dropped the helmet at his side, but his knuckles turned white as he gripped full ready to use it as a weapon-ready to knock whatever it was out that came at him. The leather of his coat stretched tightly over his expanding chest as he breathed slowly to steady his nerves, and felt the sleeves tighten over his biceps as he tensed.

The figure's steps stilled, and Alec narrowed his eyes trying to make out an image of the shadow. However, in the black nothing could be seen until the man opened his eyes, and they burned like yellow-green embers of a fire that would never die.

Magnus had only opened his eyes, and the reveal caused the man before him to take a step back. He knew them—startlingly stunning, with the sharp slits adjusting to the light as they closed in on the boy.

"Coward?" His voice purred questioning the boy with a smirk that pulled over his lips revealing his white teeth, and then let himself pull from the black shadow as if it were dark water that ran off his skin. "Ha." Magnus snorted, lifting his chin in defiance, but keeping his eyes low on the boy, "Look who is talking, Lightwood."

"You.." Alec narrowed his eyes and regained the step he had started backward, but stood his ground—standing in it proudly with his shoulders back and jaw tight. "What are you doing here, Bane?" Alec's voice commanded the answer like a true King, and Magnus couldn't help it as he only grinned further.

"Why..the same as you, of course." He started in with his smirk, "Picking apart the carcass of this side of town like a vulture. Isn't that what It looks like to you?" Magnus opened his hands, the half gloved fingers long and decorated revealed the olive skin of his bare wrists that were exposed from sleeves of his trench coat, but they were empty….?

The first thing that swept into Alec's mind was the memory of the day in the hall, where Magnus was dressed in their school uniform with a little pin stuck to the lapel of his jacket, the clear gloss on his lips. He thought of how he had spiked his hair, and now looked upon it in fond memory. It was nice to see some things never changed. The spikes were longer though; seeming as sharp as the slits in his eyes that had always set him apart. He looked good, despite the rumors that flooded in his memory of him. Alec thought of how he had stopped Dan from breaking his own face in, and how he had been the only one to help him pick up his drawings; how kind his voice was, and how rare it had been. Looking back, Alec had felt guilty for how he acted, and how he let his emotions over run his manners; how he had never properly thanked him. For years he had tried to find Magnus, countless searches over the Internet, and through old yearbooks, but only found out he was no longer living at home; nor did his family claim to have ever known him.

When the distance was closed between them Alec had to tilt his head back to keep the man's eyes as he had always been so tall, but dared not allow himself to relax—not yet.

"Doesn't look like you found anything." Alec's voice was bitterly cold and dry of any emotion as his brave jaw set sternly, "Nothing is left." He was surprised when Magnus laughed lightly—almost sinister, and started to circle the youth as if he were hunting him.

"No? Nothing at all?" _I found_ _everything I have been looking for; for a very long time, and from that look in your eyes Alec, you have been looking for me too._

Magnus touched Alec's shoulder lightly in the same place that Hodge had assaulted that morning, and clasped the other firmly in his hand to turn him to face the destruction; where the sun still touched, and before Alec could pull away he continued, "Look, Lightwood. Look out on that. Tell me what you see..tell me now, that you have found _nothing."_ The last word was a hiss.

Alec looked over at the street that was behind him now, where he had walked from. Everything looked so different now. It all seemed more vivid in the amber light, but he couldn't make words form. Magnus's hand still touched his shoulder, and strangely he didn't feel the need to pull away. In fact, his eyes were caught by the long stretched shadows of their bodies standing together, but he quickly diverted his eyes back to where Magnus had pointed. Finally, Alec gave in as sadness touched his face again for what was lost. Even now he missed her.

"I see the corner where my grandmother's favorite artist painted just for us, gone. Nothing more. Death..destruction..terrorism, and I see a lot of work to restore it to the way it was." His voice was so distant that it broke Magnus's heart, it made his knees feel weak, and made his cat like eyes fall to study his face in the shadow of Alec's black hair. Such sadness almost made him forget the words that would come next, but when Magnus slowly turned his body to face him he was met with much different eyes—angry again. That phoenix was burning, behind blue eyes.

"Do you wish to restore it the way it was, Alexander, or do want to rebuild it all again on new ground? Those buildings were old, falling apart; they wouldn't have stood too much longer, because the foundation in which they were built on had started to crack. The very freedom and pride that went into those buildings were stolen by communism. Shouldn't you start with that?"

Alec looked out over the broken part of the city, and realized how right Magnus was. All these years the rebels had always been right, but not even he was brave enough to stand up against the rest. This country was falling apart in the way the ground gave out. Everything in which they stood for was a lie, and innocent people were dying for no reason at all other then they were _different. _They were not perfect.

Finally, the weight of Magnus's words were as heavy as his hand upon his shoulder and caused Alec to roll back his arm to escape the man's touch. How could he admit how scared he was of it all? To seat himself among a den of lions was like admitting to himself he wasn't interested in women like he was men. How was he supposed to just walk into Parliament, and demand that everything change? His was the only voice that would cry out in defense of it all, but this was what Magnus had known caused such sadness in his eyes all these years.

Pictures were brutally honest.

Alec couldn't breathe anymore, and he felt himself starting to panic on the inside. He wanted to run as the darkness was everywhere creeping in on him. He couldn't listen to this, not now—his Grandmother would have been so disappointed.

"I need to get back." He breathed, and turned quickly where his motorcycle was parked. However, Magnus caught his wrist gently—without thinking, but he wasn't ready to let him go. Alec first looked at where the other's fingers touched the tender flesh of his wrist before his eyes rose again to meet those yellow-greens.

"You had it there for a minute, just now." Magnus spoke looking between Alec's blue eyes searching them for any falsehood, but knowing they only held truth. It was hard for him not to reach out and touch his face, or brush back the little wisps of black that had fallen in his eyes.

"Had what?" Alec questioned him harshly, though more out of surprise Magnus still held onto his wrist. Alec didn't _have _anything, besides it all.

"The leader you were born to be. In your eyes just then, I saw it. I_ felt_ it." Those words fell all at once as he pleaded with the youth, who couldn't escape himself then. When Alec gasped a small breath, Magnus could feel his own heart breaking. Alec's eyes watered, but no tears would fall. It was clear he wanted to please too many around him, but knew nothing of what he really was.

_I'm afraid..I'm so very afraid. _How did he admit that? _Everything _in him was so ready to fight for it, but his feet just needed to touch the ground first. Alec let his hand fall back to his side, but wouldn't let his gaze fall from the strange yet alluring eyes of the only other person to have ever stood up for him. Even now Magnus didn't judge him, he could tell the way his expression was pleading as if to say..

_I know, Alec, I am too._

For once, Magnus didn't have the answer, nor did he know the truth of it all, but all he knew was this boy needed to be let out of his cage. That firebird needed to rise from the ash, and burn this entire city to the ground. How could he go home now? For one night he needed to be free from the world _they _made for him, the life others lived through this boy wasn't his own. Alec didn't know who he was, and what little parts he was discovering would have him stripped of his title. The Prince was never allowed to be who he was despite in the art he created, but even that had been taken from him.

"Come out with me." Magnus broke the silence between them, and Alec's face flushed as his heart stopped How did he know? How could anyone know! He had only admitted it to himself this past year, and was so damn careful. Alec never let his gaze linger on the models in his drawing class for too long, though was thankful for the excuse to finally be able to stare a little.

"W-What? What did you just say?" He asked shakily looking down to the ground to shuffle his feet, and somewhere inside Magnus's chest his heart fluttered with the realization of how darn cute that was. He didn't' mean it that way, and suffered back a laugh—afraid Alec would run.

"I mean come out to the night with me. We could hit downtown. Walk in the evening lights. " When Magnus suggested that, Alec felt himself breathe again,

"Oh." _My god.._He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, looking to his bike that could fit two if Magnus didn't mind being that close to him, and now felt obligated because he just embarrassed himself. Rolling his shoulders back he tilted his chin up a bit in defiance, "Alright. Fine." What harm could it do? Bowing he canted his head with his jaw set tight, and he would motion his arm to the bike, "After you."

"M'lord.." He acted surprised, a false shock of flattery as he pressed a perfectly manicured hand to his chest, "A chariot ride?" God. He was going to Hell. A great deal of the Underground King wanted to shiver with the anticipation of getting on that thing, but an even greater part of him wanted to get on it with—_him. _Tonight, he would show Alec there was a world outside those golden gates of his, beyond that silver spoon, and no body would stop them.

"Alexander, you are a rebel child." He purred darkly, and watched as Alec worried there wasn't another helmet. However, when he started to hand it off to Magnus, the rebel leader would refuse.

"Babysteps, Alec. Your head is far more precious then mine..besides. It would mess up my hair." There was enough gel there, that it would no doubt protect him should they wreck. Alec rolled his eyes when Magnus wasn't looking and let his head fall back so that he could shake his hair from his eyes to put the helmet on.

When Alec would climb on the bike to get it started, Magnus moved in behind the young Lord, and pulled out a pair of dark shades from the breast pocket of his trench coat. Despite the night he still put them on, and smirked like Satan himself as the engine roared to life. When he put his arms around the young prince he felt the tight muscles of Alec's abs tighten when he sucked in air.

Alec bent forward to rev the throttle, and Magnus was thankful the sounds would drown out his low quiet moan. However, he still bent forward enough so that Alec could hear his low voice.

"Go easy on me Alexander..its my first time."

Alec smirked himself, as if Magnus had just signed his death wish, and looked down to set the gears, and to kick up the stand. With one pump of clutch, and a rev of the throttle, Alec took off into the night like a bat from hell.

**A/N: ****So everyone that reviews to this chapter will get the first two paragraphs of the next in a private message.**** Trust me you want it- its sexy as hell. **

**I hope you all are understanding it better, and shout out to CW18 for answering my hundred questions. **

**P.s. If you haven't read the V-Day fluff that ****Incomparable-Insanity ****wrote for V-Day (its on the Malec community) you really should. Sooooo cute.**

**P.p.s. Reviews get updates faster.**


	8. 7 As the Sun Would Set You Would Rise

**Chapter 7. And As the Sun Would Set You Would Rise**

If there was nothing that I could say

Turned your back and you just walked away

Leaves me numb inside I think of you

Together is all I knew

We moved too fast but I had no sign

I would try to turn the hands of time

Then look to you for the reason why

The love we had passed me by

And as the sun would set you would rise

Fall from the sky into paradise

Is there no light in your heart for me?

You've closed your eyes, you no longer see

There were no lies between me and you

You said nothing of what you knew

But there was still something in your eyes

Left me helpless and paralyzed

You could give a million reasons,

change the world and change the times,

Could not give me the secrets of your heart

and of your mind

In the darkness that surrounds me now

there is no peace of mind

Your careless words undo me,

leave the thought of us behind

You could give a million reasons,

change the world and change the times

Could not give me the secrets of your heart

and of your mind

In the darkness that surrounds me now

there is no peace of mind

Your careless words undo me,

leave the thought of us behind

_~No Ordinary Morning, Chicane_

**T**he cool evening lights, with their laughing flicker, caressed the surface of Alec's helmet, and Magnus felt as though he could be himself as he stared at his reflection in it-like a mirror. Passing through traffic like a snake winding through the brush—his heart felt much of the same as it slipped up and down from his chest to neck, and hit harshly against the cage of his ribs. He mused that Lightwood knew how fragile he felt on the back of the bike as every time he felt confident enough to loosen his grasp, Alec would only go faster. However, only part of Alec's reckless navigation had his heart pounding. Part of him felt as though his mind had drifted off into a dream, that any moment he would wake to realize this was not the young Lord before him.

That was not the firm round backside of his brushing against his inner thighs as they went over the surface of the city streets-it was torture. This was torture, and Magnus should have been interested in the world around him. Yet, all he could think of was keeping Alec this way forever, and finally when the thrill of the ride calmed his hands would loosen their death grip on his jacket and slide down to where Alec's body curved. Clutching him low on his hips, he wouldn't have been who he was without the image of Alec possibly in this position without the leather, without the jeans, and his eyes closed in heated passion crying out beneath him. It made his body ache, and no doubt would cause the Young Lord to blush again if he could feel the tension burning in his veins—throbbing.

Magnus tightened his hold when they stopped at a light, and would catch the obscene look they were getting from another car next to them, and darted a well defined brow up to wiggle it at the old woman who stared back in horror. Her look of hatred sneered back, and this would only _force _Magnus to run his tongue over his lips (really she asked for it), and slowly rock his hips forward—taunting her. It terrorized the passenger who gasped gathering the attention of the driver, and pointing desperately at them—Alec missed it all.

The dirty suggestion caused the disgust to build from the car next to them, and Magnus could see they had half a mind to run them off the road. With this he would throw his head back in a wicked laugh as they took off again, and pondered pulling the helmet free from his Lord's face to reveal it to the world. If only they knew it wasn't some ludicrous homosexual Magnus was clinging to, but the young prince who had lost himself long ago.

_I found you, Alec. _The words moved into the front of his thoughts as he tightened his hold upon the Young Lord once again, _I have found you, and I'm not letting you go. _Not until he saw him smile, he heard his laugh, and saw the life return to his soul—the lights to his eyes.

"Was there somewhere you had in mind?" Alec spoke over the roar of the motor as he sat up to ease the tension of his position upon the bike once they were stopped again. Through the mouthpiece of the helmet his voice was strained, but thankfully Magnus held perfect hearing—or was simply in tune to this man before him. It brought them closer as Alec tried to turn a look over his shoulder to the man, but was restricted from the leather. He felt the careful curve of Magnus's chest press against his back.

"Actually, yes. Make a left on Swain, and head into Highgate?" Magnus spoke beside his ear at best he could with the motors coming to life again around them drowning out Alec's questioning heart. Why would he want to go to a cemetery?

Pressing forward again to return to the flow of the traffic, Alec found himself gasping as Magnus's fingers moved further in over his hips, and felt his breath catch. A low moan escaped his parted pale pink lips each time the road forced Magnus further on the seat-closer. When the bike beneath them shifted suddenly Magnus held him tighter pressing against the Young Lord's back, clinging to him, and it made Alec's heart flutter in his chest-it felt so right, but in the same hand felt wrong. Didn't everything?

Alec's body flushed with the wave of heat each time he felt the man's hips press against his backside. It was hard to hide a man's size in pants as tight as Magnus's and Alec closed his eyes for only a moment letting his head fall forward as he felt himself tighten as he sized the length up. He felt it against the pocket of his jeans. In his minds eye he could see this..see it all..without the bike beneath them, without the night around them. He wanted to feel him behind him, as their bodies became one to be taken a boy, but made into a man. The young prince very much wanted this man.

_Come out with me, Alexander._

Suddenly, the helmet was suffocating, the heat rising up from his neck as his pulse raced through his heart; it made it hard to breath, and when they turned upon the road that lead to Highgate Alec would stop the bike to take it off. The night painted a the pale blush back in his face as the wave heat escaped, and chilled his skin. Once again Magnus's breath was stolen as the young lord's hair tumbled against the tops of his shoulders. He was so beautiful, and he wanted so bad to touch it knowing how soft it must feel—how soft it looked. The desire was so strong his fingerless gloves ached to run through those ebon strands, and he could almost feel the silken softness that was Alexander Lightwood.

Surprised Alec didn't question him further; the Underground King would reach around to help Alec hold the helmet against his torso as they slowly went up the road where the cemetery had been for over a thousand years. When they pulled up to the steps that lead to Highgate, Alec would shut off the bike's motor and breathe as sigh of relief as his heated desire calmed along with his heart. That was the most amazing ride he had ever been on.

"Here?" Youthful eyes turned to give the man a look, questioning him then as he could finally reach enough to see him, but Magnus could still see the trust—despite the doubt. Alec wanted this—badly. He knew well he needed this, to be free and wild. Tomorrow was a big day, and far too much rested on the shoulders of someone so young.

"Yes, My Lord." Magnus purred seriously against his shoulder; clenching his teeth to keep from nipping at the exposed flesh of Alec's neck, and when the boy made his move to stand he reluctantly let him go.

Regaining his posture he would watch the Young Lord replace his helmet on the bar, and tuck the key deep into his pocket. Alec was a bigger build then Magnus, though the dark knight was taller. His shoulders were further apart and his biceps heavier, but Magnus could see the outline of how thin his waist narrowed from the fit of his shirt. It was a pity really, he had to keep that coat on.

"Come. Your eyes need answers that you don't want to ask me. I can see it. Riddle me this Seatholder, Voice of Neverfield, what reason does one take another to a place where only the dead would hear them scream?" It was Alec's fault if he didn't like the answer, but when Magnus put a hand on the small of Alec's back the boy wouldn't budge.

Alec chilled, and suddenly pulled away from the man who was guiding him up the path. Alarm filled his bright eyes, that caused Magnus's heart to break. There wasn't any reason to be so alarmed, his words had been a jest, but the concern flooded him. Who had made Alec this way? Perhaps, this was a drill they had practiced with him, and Magnus raised his hands to calm the boy.

"I'm teasing, Alec." He spoke softly, "I wanted to show you something. There is more to this place then simply old stone angels, and overgrown weeds." They were forgotten too—the dead, and Magnus would ease the man to his side with a careful hand over his bicep. "You can trust me."

Alec had wanted to snort a laugh as he looked back to the man who offered him reassurance. This was somewhere in a rule book about this, he had no doubt; in those fine leather bound books Hodge was always reading from it had to say.. _Never trust men who wear as much make up as ladies, never trust a figure who wears all black, but most of all never trust a man whose eyes were a gift from the devil._

"Can I?" Alec smirked, looking shyly through his hair that was wild atop his head. "How am I to know you are not one of the rebels who plot my death? Who want to do the very same thing they fight against? They preach tolerance and acceptance but burn my city to the ground? That is judgment too you know. Will it stop there?" Finally, he opened up, and Magnus's eyes didn't stray from the path before them. This was his world, and he couldn't let the guilt show on his face—suddenly thankful for the dark path.

Passing every monument was like finding a part of his past, and every cold stone angel a figure from his memory. They were beautiful even with their vacant expressions like the masks people wore—he wanted to collect them, put them high on a shelf to reclaim them again later. The Underground King was a lover of art, of all things beautiful, even the morbid stone angels.

"I've watched the shift in power, Magnus. From the front row." Alec continued, "I've sat quietly by as it went from one hand to the other, all with beautiful promises of a better tomorrow—but eventually all of those hands were dirty with blood. My grandmother was criticized often for being too soft, and now.." He paused shrugging his shoulders, "Its my turn."

Magnus shifted his eyes to Alec as he spoke still thinking of beautiful artwork, God had broken the mold with this one. He was beautiful to watch, but heartbreaking to see the worry lines deepen around his too young eyes. There were no signs of laughter, nor any joy in his eyes, when was the last time he had ever been out his cage? They put the weight of the world on a boy's shoulders, but didn't help him carry it—or show him how to be a man. Was this the idea? To watch him crumble under the load? There had to be someone behind this horrid game who wanted Alec to fail, and as he continued to commit the Seatholder's face to memory. Alec lower his gaze and worried his lip again between his teeth. However, this time Magnus would reach out and brush back the black strands of his fallen hair from his face.

"Not tonight." He smoothed over the air with a soft voice letting his hand brush down the cheek of the prince as they stopped before a large tomb with markings unknown to Alec's very educated mind. Much to his surprise Alec didn't pull away, but instead looked up with those questions still in his eyes—they were a different sort now. "Don't think about it tonight, Alexander. Come. Tonight is not about thinking." For if he did, Magnus would have to tell him the truth, that he _was _one of the ones who wanted him dead, and stood on a very thin line between right and wrong.

Taking Alec's hand he clasped it with the his own to lead him up the stairs to the door of the mausoleum.

Alec warmed with the feel of his hand inside the others, and shifted in his step to keep up with the much longer stride of the Underground King. They stood there for a moment and the mausoleum's door seemed to disappear upon closer inspection—inside the delicately carved face of the garden side entrance was a series of marks that moved. Pale blue eyes watched as Magnus ran his fingerless gloved hands over the stone surface, and much to his surprise the handle of the door was not used to open the sealed monument.

"Magnus..I." His words were cut off short as the sound of the stone rumbled before them and the door would roll open before them. He had not known what to expect, but had an idea of what the inside of a mausoleum _should _look like, and upon first glance it all seemed right. A dusty coffin rest In the middle, with old leaves dried around the surface, but upon second look he saw the lid had been removed—his skin crawled.

Even an artist as morbid as he couldn't stand the sight of the dead, and had always been a sensitive soul; as a child his father had accidently killed a kitten that had wondered into the garden of the estate and he held it close this chest sobbing. Alec believed as a child he could heal everything if only to love the creature. God would return its soul if someone wanted it back bad enough wouldn't he? Finally, breaking from his thoughts Alec realized he was being moved to look in upon the coffin.

"Its ok." Magnus whispered no longer holding his hand but the bend of his arm while the other supported the small of his back, "Look Alec." A smirk pulled over his lips as he watched the oldest Lightwood's eyes widen upon what was inside—nothing. Nothing there but a set of narrow stairs, and the distant sound of music.

**A/N:**

**Guys, I SWEAR this will live up to the M rating it has. I just got to writing and couldn't stop! I'm trying to be a tad bit realistic as far as the relationship goes, and this is very import to build their life together a bit so I can tear it back down later. Mwhahahaha.**

**Plus, I was going to wait until this weekend to write more, but all the reviews REALLY inspired me. Please, do it some more. **

**Also, I have one thing to ask. If you would please give me your opinion on how far is too far? 'What mean you this, Brittany?' Well. Not the next chapter but the one after that (might even be the one after that), Hodge's true colors are going to come out, and I hate to admit it..someone is going to get very very very very hurt. How much is too much? With enough warning, would those of you squeamish simply just look it over? I've been back and forth on the subject, but the SL really works for it. Nothing destroys a life like being forced to give up something that was never theirs to take right? **

**Also, check out RiskMyKiss's new story. She's my best friend in the whole wide world, and her story kicks butt! Its on my favorite's list.**

**(To those of you that got the first two paragraphs I had to do a little changes to them, but was fun no?"**


	9. 8 As Long As We Believe

**Chapter 8. As Long As We Believe**

The red light of the sun

Slowly descending

The sky is all I see

It's never ending

We could fly

You and I

On a cloud

Kissing, kissing

The wind plays with the leaves

The weather turns colder

But as long as we believe

Love doesn't get older

We could fly

You and I

On a cloud

Kissing, kissing

On a journey of the heart

There's so much to see

And when the sky is dark

You'll be right here, right here with me

Right here with me

Kissing

Kissing, kissing

Kissing, kissing

A journey of the heart

_~Kissing, by Bliss_

"_**A**__lexander..trust me."_

**M**agnus purred against the tender shell of the Young Lord's ear as the journey beneath the ground started its unearthly decent, and the music pounding against the tunnel walls sounded the same as his heart. The deep base of the music beyond the dark stairs grew louder and louder as each step brought him closer to yet another trick this magician had up his sleeve—like cards. The Ace of Spades.

Alec felt himself catching his breath again as the tunnel opened into a large underground ballroom with spaces and empty shallow cuts in the side of the wall. Figures moved hand in hand, chest to chest, and face to face as their bodies went in time with the beat. The music made his chest rattle with the heavy baseline and the melody atop it drowning out the voices singing out together in ecstasy—crying as they passed the point of no return in pleasure too wild to understand. It had to be lived, for one could not explain what it was to be so free on a dance floor. He felt his body tighten as he watched them all; coupled together, and moving gracefully across the floor like figures in his dreams.

"But.." Alec turned his large eyes to Magnus surprised as he looked over his shoulder to him, and very thankful for the steady hand upon his back, "This is against the law…" The words fell like heavy drops of rain cooling the heat the other felt for the youth in his grasp, it was against the law to feel this way too. "There isn't any form to their motions or..or reason to dance? Why...Why do they do it?"

_They don't tick..they beat._

Here the hearts were not ticking like fine old clocks moving together in a constant rhythm like mindless drones, no..these hearts were pounding just like his, beating like wild African drums all at once, and Magnus could see the longing upon Alec's face to join them. He made the motion to join, but Magnus took the Young Lord's hand letting his actions answer first before his lips parted to even sigh. Alec protested at first once he realized they were heading for the dance floor, but moved along the outside of the crowd with careful eyes looking back at Magnus to reassure himself he was still there.

They laughed..all of them, but not at him and smiled so freely. Their painted delicate eyes hardly ever opened with the blissful motions their hips started—body to follow, and Alec couldn't keep his eyes off the faces around him. He didn't know how to do that, he hadn't been old enough to attend parties with his parents, and the events at the estate never had music like this. Here, no body noticed who he was, no body turned their attention to him, no one cared that he existed. Here their wasn't a time to be home, or a reason to celebrate—here he could be free.

His pale blue eyes turned to look at Magnus, but would find only the empty space behind him filled with a sea of people. Alec did not know when he reached the center of the dance floor, but the flashing lights had been like a fire drawing him in like a moth to the flame. Somewhere he had lost Magnus, and suddenly felt very alone standing there motionless, not sure what to do.

_And then he saw her…_

She seemed as calm as he, but there was such an intensity in her eyes that spoke of wildness, like a huntress of the moon. Hardly any of her body was covered by the silk dress that was the same color as the soft rose blush that filled his face; the same blush that caused her ruby red lips to pull back into the devil's smirk. Pale blonde hair fell about her back, rolling over her firm large breasts covering what the sheer fabric failed to, and the six inch spikes of her heels made the muscles in her legs define when she started towards him. She was what most men dreamed about, and her name was Camille. However, Alec couldn't find the words to ask it.

"You look lost, Little Lamb.." She purred as she closed the distance between them, standing against him with a palm opened to brush across his chest. Slowly the ends of her fingers moved beneath the leather jacket he still wore, and it was then he could smell the rose oil perfume that scented her skin. It was in intoxicating, and made his senses run together as one, "Looking for something?" She pulled her words as her hand ran down the very firm lines of his stomach, and hooking to where his belt buckled over his lower abs.

Alec closed his eyes when she leaned her face to his, letting her cheek touch his own, and holding him there while her hooked fingers started to force his hips to sway slowly.

"I'm looking..for..my friend." He snapped back to reality realizing he couldn't get away from her now if he wanted to, the crowd was tight around him that he felt he would suffocate, and he stopped moving.

For so many years he had tried to find attraction in what was logical, in women that were his type, but even with the beauty before him all he could think about was Magnus. He wanted very much to make this life as easy as possible, and his mind could walk over her body all day, still he wouldn't know where to start—where did he put his hands? Was it ok to touch her back?

"I-I'm sorry..I'm not very good at this...What..What was your name again?" Alec started to panic a little when she continued with her hands now under the fabric of his shirt, and caressed the uncharted skin beneath. He tried hard to breathe, but even harder free himself from her.

"Relax.." A voice broke through from the music, against the back of his ear, but it was not hers, and as much larger hands touched his hips, Alec felt relief flood him as he was drawn back. The man's fingers looped through his belt to pull him against the firm solid chest he could get lost in, and the familiarity of the man came without caution.

"Let go..Alexander. Feel the music." Magnus purred now his lips against the tender shell of the Young Lord's ear, and he held Alec's hips back against his own firmly.

Alec gasped lowly as he felt all of Magnus against him, and let his head fall back against his shoulder when the hard length of the man was pressed against his backside.

"That's it, My Lord.." His hands slid over the chest of the Seat-Holder, and slowly started to pull away the leather jacket to expose the Young Lord to the crowd.

The rush of cool air was a blessing and with it Alec opened his eyes to look around again still moving with Magnus on the dance floor. The music would drown out the moans of the crowd around them, but now this close he heard bodies pounding together. He watched as a woman was held against a man whose body pumped against her own, holding one of her legs out and around him like a sexual ballet. The lights would flash against her exposed breasts as they bounced with the act of passion, and Alec quickly diverted his eyes not wishing to intrude. However, it was everywhere, this entire room was a single setting of desire, and he felt himself harden—it made him more aware of the man behind him. How could something that felt so good be wrong?

Magnus pulled his attention back in, with lips that kissed his neck in all the right places. The heated skin where his pulse rushed to cloud his mind from judgment finally burned all over his body, and Magnus knew Alec had let go. He had died in his arms to rise again, and Magnus dare not take his eyes off him—beautiful. However, like eyes in the dark the Underground King could feel Camille's eyes burning into him as she stood forgotten across from the young prince. If this was their game, why had she not been included? With a snort she folded her arms over her chest, and finally turned upon spiked heels to click away into the crowd. They were alone now.

Surrounded by a thousand people, Alec still felt as if they were the only ones, and he had never felt so alive. He wasn't certain of the time, or the world around him; but he very aware of the hands that explored his untouched body. He was pure, like the white rose in the sea of red, and when he felt Magnus's fingers slide warmly over the bulging zipper of his pants he whimpered a soft moan of approval. Yet, it was only when the man's hand tightened on his excitement did he throw his head back and cry out an animalistic sound that brought that fire to burn all the more brighter. He arched his backside to press against the other—begging to find release. _Please_ and he felt himself ready to burst against the teasing hand of the darkhearted man, but still turned to claim his lips like a hungry wolf devouring his prey.

Magnus let out his own cry of surprise, and the sound carried from his chest, sounding out deep in his throat, as he hummed against the pale thin lips of the Seat-Holder. _Mmmm_

Alec was so much shorter then he, and he found himself flushed with the desire to close that distant; he wanted him up to where he could kiss him without straining, and started to back him up to the wall. All was forgotten on the floor, the leather coat becoming part of the forgotten as he found himself leading the Young Lord to the edge of the floor.

Air pressed from Alec's chest as the end came at him sharply as his back was thrust against the brick, and he opened his eyes for only a moment to see Magnus's silhouette close around him. This man was so tall, tall enough his feet left the floor, and instinct wrapped his legs around the other man's hips.

Magnus supported his weight with one arm, while the other explored feverishly the innocent before him. Alec felt as though he was weightless, and he brought one hand to clasp Magnus's biceps for support—so strong. Suddenly reality would set in on Alec as Magnus started to undo the buckle of his belt, and it must have set into the Underground King then at how innocent he looked, how afraid he seemed, but how his body betrayed him in want. Panting as Alec arched against him he let his lips fall against his neck to kiss gently—softly before he whispered,

"Before this have you ever been kissed before, Alexander?"

Alec desired this man before him, but again with the questioning eyes—how they could tear right through him if they wanted, but then when the Young Lord looked at him with the flashing lights coloring his skin before the shadowy corner fell black again—Magnus watched him shake his head, and brought a hand to clasp his cheek while his thumb brushed against his bottom lip.

"Never?"

Alec shook his head slowly hungrily panting against the man who despite his calmed strength still slowly pressed his hips forward grinding their bodies together in heated tension. Each time he felt the hardened bulge of the man before him rub against his own Alec parted his lips to whimper, and Magnus would bring the hand that did not support him to finally brush through the soft ebon strands of the young lord's hair. He had wanted to do that all night.

They were soft despite the damp nature of the sweat the stuck them to the back of his neck, and suddenly he felt guilty. Guilty, Alec's first kiss had been by some horrid stranger that had plans to see his heart taken right from his chest; to make sure it didn't beat.

Alec was pure, everything about him so innocent-who was he to corrupt him here upon the dirty underground night club? Slowly he let the Young Lord's feet touch the floor again, and the reality of it all set in. Though, he did not protest, Alec, let his hands remain on Magnus's chest as he came off his high, and felt so very tired. He closed his eyes and pressed his temple to rest it against the dip in the Magnus's shoulder. He relished in being held there forever as the man's arms came to support him against him once more. Alec's warm breath started to even as he steadied from the high, and he felt the Seat-Holder lean into him as if to fall asleep right there.

"Come on, My Prince. I'll get you home." It had to be late, but Alec had lost all sense in time. Imagine his shock when they surfaced again to see the black sky not so dark, but threatening morning close on the horizon. The sun had not yet to rise, but it was not far; no wonder he was so tired.

"My jacket.." Alec spoke with lips kissed pink, but he realized it hardly seemed worth going back for. His phone was in the pocket, but that could be replaced. Alec wouldn't need to turn back, as he felt himself being seated on the stone bench breathing in the cool spring air, "Don't worry about it." He tried to stop Magnus, and let his head fall back.

"Its important to you. I won't be long, you stay here." Magnus smiled watching as Alec closed his eyes and pressed his back against the stone structure to settle in without a fight. It was well past 5, almost 6 in the morning, and he had to figure this was the latest the youth had ever been out. It was hard to leave him, but when he reappeared inside the club the room was empty save for a few shadowy remains of figures exhausted on the floor. Though it was painful to rummage through them for the jacket he knew he would find it somewhere in the middle, but it wasn't there..

"Looking for something?" Her voice called out over the broken dance floor, and Camille slipped into the light with the leather jacket over her shoulders. She ran her perfectly manicured hands over the front, and clasped the zipper together with no intention of taking it off again.

"Give it back, Camille." He spoke annoyed with her, and narrowed his eyes when she laughed. She seemed like lioness on the hunt when she started to move towards him, and despite the love he held for her—he hated her in this moment. She was right. Without saying anything else, Camille was right with words that were about to be the truth..

"Oh I think I rather like it. It smells like spoiled brat to me. It would make a perfect purse, feel how fine the leather is. Like the skin of his backside no doubt, or.." She parted her lips in surprise pressing a finger to her cheek in mock thought, "Have you not gotten that far yet? Going to take the darling Prince home and fuck him until tomorrow… Won't that make it all the more fun to kill him later? Or have you forgotten that too?" With that her eyes leveled in his own as they narrowed back, and the painted black liner made them appear deadly. Damn her truths.

"Camille..please, I haven't the time for this."

"The time for what, Magnus? For your betrayal? You _are _aware that people depend on you. That you have lives of children, men and women who _need _you. There is talk of how soft you've become. Though..from the looks of it on the dance floor." Against him now her hand like a eagle claw came to clasp his package firmly, "You were hard as a rock."

Magnus pulled back from her as if she were fire that burned him, and his fists clenched at his side.

"I have NOT gotten soft. Do you think I'm the type to go back on my word?" He took hold of her shoulders and ripped the leather from her hard enough Camille would laugh—she found pleasure in pain, and the excitement shimmered in her eyes.

"Mmmm..do it again_" _She hissed_, _and pressed her body to his, the bare skin of her leg brushed up his own, but he was quick to turn away from her. She laughed, and he hated her even more.

"They all have to die Magnus. It's the only way." She called out over the empty dance floor, to the fading figure of their King.

Her words stayed with him the entire drive back to the estate, and he didn't speak to Alec at all. Magnus still held the Prince before him, but Alec had let him drive; curled against his chest with his eyes closed he was cradled in the taller man's arms, and Magnus realized how even with one hand the bike moved perfectly across the stone streets-enchanted.

The sun spilled out as red as it had left the sky, and the rich orange glow of the glorious light warmed Alec's face as he slept, and Magnus's heart as it lit a certain beauty that had not been there before in the dark. He tried to fight, this feeling inside, but it was too late, Alec had woke the dragon that was his heart of stone. In the new light Magnus spoke to God for the first time in a very long time. He prayed for Alec's safety, and prayed for forgiveness. Somewhere all along he felt as though he had been so wrong, but now more then ever did he feel it right. Things had to change, they couldn't love each other if it didn't, but did it have to with blood?

At the top of the tallest hill that overlooked the valley where the Estate was settled Magnus would pull off the side of the road and the sun spilled through the valley in glorious morning, but all he could watch was how it spilled over the man in his arms. The engine went quiet as he shut it off, and in a soft voice Magnus parted his lips to whisper,

"Alexander… Wake up..you are home."

Alec opened his eyes to turn from the man's chest, and blinked hazily into the sun. His eyes were even a paler color in the light then they were in the dark, and he was so damn cute when he was confused. Sitting up he struggled to keep his balance on the bike surprised he had been so comfortable in such a strange position, and reluctant to let it go.

The gold sun made the estate almost look unnaturally beautiful as if it were a painting and far too perfect to be real, and as an artist he admired the beauty for a moment before he turned his attention to Magnus once more.

"Would you want to come have breakfast?" Alec asked nervously as he stretched before rubbing at his face, and he would miss Magnus's longing look to kiss him again. "I can have the chief cook whatever you like." He smiled hopelessly, but would miss the way Magnus's insides tightened with heartache. Food was scarce in the Underground, and he often went without to give to others. Times were getting harder and harder, and he knew it wouldn't be long before the plan too action.

"I..I do not think that would be a very good idea. I have to get back." He lied, Magnus didn't have a glorious estate like Alec, but he did have an Underground palace to attend to. Alec's pale lips pouted a little as Magnus got up from the bike; he would soon join him.

"Well..when will I see you again? Are you staying with your parents?" His parents, who had turned him to the street when they discovered his collection of homosexual erotica, and painted portraits of naked men-wouldn't spit on his grave. Yeah. He was staying with them.

"I am." He lied, because _I live Underground in the old waterways that smell like musty stale water, and old stone. _Simply wasn't something you said to a prince—his Prince. "And you will see me when you sleep, Alexander."

Magnus touched Alec's face again brushing the skin that the sun warmed and Alec smiled against his hand. For having been up all night, Alec looked rested, and happy. Nothing could hurt him now as he stood there glowing from the night. He had been born again on that dance floor like a phoenix from the flame, and Magnus knew this birth was like the first; fresh and new, and Alec would need to learn how to live once again. Magnus had stolen his first breath in this new life, and what irony he would take the last too.

"Tonight? I..I can meet you at Highgate." Alec's eyes begged, pleaded to see him again, wanting to count down the hours until they saw one another once more, and Magnus would only smile. He bent to kiss the Prince on the forehead, but Alec wouldn't give up that easy.

"How about dinner? We can eat in, or out. I'll fly Chinese food from China just to make you stay." With that Magnus would laugh shaking his head.

"Tonight it is. After midnight, I'll meet you at the entrance of Highgate." He knew that was a lie too, but hoped Alec wouldn't forget about him so fast. Everything in him told him to lie, to tell the Young Lord that he was leaving to go out of town, but deep down he wished to see him again too—badly. With a few more little lies Magnus would turn from the Prince with empty promises of cabs he was going to take to get home, and how his parents would want him there—Alec finally got on his bike and left, and Magnus watched his figure disappear in the distance.

_I've loved you all these years.._

Magnus started his very long walk back to the city.

* * *

Isabelle had often snuck out in their youth, but Alec had never been very good at it. Though he did shut off the motor and drift into the driveway he saw a figure he knew to be Hodge in the window. When he put the kick-stand down on the bike he looked up again to see the figure gown, and only the slow motion of the curtains like phantoms in the windows.

_Damn it. _Already running through excuses as to what happened, Alec would walk up the stairs of the main door to pull it back.

Hodge was waiting…

**A/N: So I'm going to do it again..mwhahahaha, want the next little part of the chapter I demand a review! I'll give the first little bit of the next chapter in PM if you leave me a review. Cause I'm a whore like that, but really you guys have no clue how happy it makes me to know you like it.**

**Reviews get new chapters faster! They keep me going, and let me know you still want to read. You'll want the next few chapters. Its about go down!**

**Poor Alec..I'm such a bitch.**


	10. 9 Sleight of Hand and Twist of Fate

**Chapter 9. ****Sleight of Hand and Twist of Fate**

See the stone set in your eyes,

See the thorn twist in your side

I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate

On a bed of nails she makes me wait

And i wait...without you

With or without you

With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore

You give it all but i want more

And i'm waiting for you

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live with or without you

And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away

And you give

And you give

And you give yourself away

My hands are tied

My body bruised she got me with

Nothing left to win

And nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away

And you give

And you give

And you give yourself away

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live with or without you

Oh, oh, oh, oh...

With or without you, with or without, oh oh

I can't live with or without you

With or without you.

~With or Without You, U2 (but I'm listening to the cellar 55 version)

"_**I**_**'**_m afraid.." Alec protested six years old in the grand bed that was so high off the ground there was a series of steps to help him gain access to his nightclothes. Outside the storm carried on with flashes of light and heavy rushes of thunder._

"_Would you like me to leave the light on, Alec?" Hodge smiled younger then hardly 30. His back was still strong, but his face wasn't as aged. His hair was a healthy rich brown that tumbled about his kind eyes, and when he took a seat on the side of Alec's bed he handed the boy the ragged bear he had clung to all his life. The stuffed animals life was near complete, but Hodge couldn't take it from just yet._

"_Can't I go sleep with Grandmother? She does not mind." The poor bear was being squeezed as another crack of thunder made Alec shake, and Hodge would laugh warmly._

"_She is not feeling well, Alex. You shouldn't bother her. Besides..it is nothing but a little light, and sound. Nothing ever hurt from such a sound.."_

_

* * *

_

**N**o matter how quiet he opened the door, he felt the cold air waiting for him, and the sound carried through the vacant halls of the Estate. His heart stopped, seeing Hodge standing there atop the large marble staircase in the grand foyer. Everything without the lights from the crystal chandeliers seemed so much more eerie in the pale light of morning, and Hodge reminded him of the gargoyles perched atop the Church. Hardly any sound came from the kitchen that was busy preparing for the day, but the steps of Hodge's fine Italian leather shoes sounded out like tick of the grandfather clock at the end of the hall. Alec's pulse throbbed behind his ears.

"Hodge..I..I'm sorry, I just-" Alec's words were silenced by the heavy crack of the older man's fist as it connected with the side of his face, and the force of the blow caused him to hit the marble floors—hard.

_Nothing ever hurt from such a sound…._Yet there he was on the ground hardly able to move, the hit had such a force he felt himself sick from the inside out with the pain.

Alec was dizzy, and the lights that started to flicker on were painful. He could taste blood in the back of his mouth, the stale iron liquid crept up around his tongue and he doubted greatly he could ever escape such a memory. No one had ever hit him like this, Magnus had always been there to stop them; either in person or in his dreams.

_He would kill you, if he knew you hit me.._Alec's electric blue eyes sparked to life with anger as he finally lifted his face to look back at the large man that stood over him.

"WHAT is going on here!" A voice shrill and high; pitched forward from the hall, like a demon from Hell—Isabelle Lightwood's heels clicked like the hands of a much faster angrier clock. "How dare you!" Alec wasn't sure what was more deadly about Izzy in this moment—the way her hair whipped, or how her nails seemed like daggers clinching into her palm. He could only imagine she was thinking of clawing at Hodge's face.

"He needs to be taught a lesson, just like you. I've watched too many of you God Damn Lightwoods waste their lives with wild nights, and their 'freedom'." Hodge spoke over Alec, sneering at Isabelle, and kept her separated from her brother. This made spider's crawl over her skin, and bothered her more then she was willing to admit.

Hodge's broad shoulders were tense, his knuckles throbbed red from the hit, and he glared at Isabelle with eyes that seemed dead. However, it did not take him long to find his calm as the entire estate filtered into the mighty foyer, and already their questioning eyes cast judgment on him.

"How dare you worry me like that?" He spoke over his shoulder to Alec who dizzily sat up, "I thought you were dead. You did not answer your phone, Alec you were gone all day...All night." Hodge put a hand over his chest to insinuate his heartbroken state, and his eyes would water lightly.

"With the news of yesterday I thought you were killed too." Hodge continued and his voice seemed to soften with sincerity, but even now the two Lightwood children doubted him greatly. Yet, Isabelle's hardened gaze did lighten as she looked back to Alec. Did he know? He had been gone all this time..and she got in yesterday evening.

Alec ran a hand through his hair, his anger calmed and he knew he should have answered his phone, but he had been so busy..Slowly, he touched the side of his face intoxicated by the pain, but the skin of his wrist still smelled like Magnus's rich musty scent where he had his arms around the other man's neck, and this made him smile.

Slowly, the world started to come together again as the pain eased to a dull throb, and now the questions started. What had happened yesterday to put Hodge on edge like this, and what was Isabelle doing home?

"Alec.." His sister started as she moved around Hodge harshly hitting him with her shoulder. When she reached her older brother she pulled his hand away slowly, and soon ordered the maid to bring some ice, "Alec. The King was assassinated yesterday afternoon." Her words fell as harshly as cold winter rain, and he had to break from the thoughts of his dark knight.

"What?" Alec sounded heartbroken, and shocked; his voice quiet. All throughout his ride he had noticed the pale faces of the common, how they gathered around the televisions, and clung to their own phones desperately trying to read what was displayed across the small screens—he just figured it was from the fire. Isabelle rolled back to seat herself on the marble floor with her brother, and started to press the ice pack to his cheek.

"He was found in his bedchamber with a knife through his chest, with a note attached that said it was only the first. 'The rest will fall one by one.' We have been looking for you everywhere, so scared." She turned his hand over to kiss his knuckles, and then moved to tuck a few strands of his hair behind his ear. He could see how relieved she was, and suddenly felt so guilty. Alec loved the way their love was pure. They were as close as brother and sister could get, and with him on the floor they felt alone. Suddenly they were the only two in the room, and Alec forgot how good it was to have her home.

"Where have you been?" She whispered as she leaned into him bringing their heads closer, and the stale scent of smoke lit her eyes with a knowing grin, "Alexander Lightwood..you have been drinking." She laughed warmly, touching his face, and was amazed at how shocked he was of the accusation. This is how she knew it wasn't the truth, but she would press on anyway. Isabelle stood and held out her hand to help him up, but wouldn't let it go. Alec squeezed her hand when she directed her attention to Hodge.

"Mr. Starkweather, I will be spending the morning with my brother, we will have our breakfast served on the veranda, and after that you may have him back." Isabelle stuck her nose up along with her pointed chin, "But I expect you to apologize to him before the course of the day, or I will have you thrown to the streets." Rather proud of herself, Isabelle suffered back a laugh as they moved out.

The entire time she spoke Hodge did not take his storm cloud gray eyes from the Young Lord, and the idea of it all made Alec's heart race with panic. He had so much to tell his sister, but couldn't wait to be free from the estate again—even if it was just with their laughter. Alec knew he would have to address the public, have to make a statement, and his stomach turned with nerves as Isabelle briefed him on the way to the stone patio where their morning spread waited. Alec had taken the chance to change, joining his sister again in his nightclothes of white silk. They made him appear delicate and fare, but Isabelle knew better.

"So..spill it. Who is she?" Alec hadn't had a chance to even seat himself before her words rushed at him, and his face flushed hot.

"Izzy..please. I don't want to talk about it." He tried to make himself busy with the preoccupation of his muffin, but she was persistent. Panther this one. Rawr.

"Alec, I think I have the right to know who has been kissing on my brother, and with such fierceness ..look at that mark. Alec!" She squealed brushing the collar of his shirt back to show the darkened skin at the base of his neck, and he pulled away sharply. "My god..she must have been one tough woman to leave such a kiss on you, Alec look at you! You have not been drinking, you have been dancing." Lord how he wanted to shut her up, his head was pounding, and his heart racing.

"Isabelle, I'm about to make my first public speech since Gran's death, our King was just murdered. I was just told on the way down here we could possibly be next, I think it hardly matters who kissed me. Do you mind?" Damn her and her knowing eyes, and his inability to mask his feelings from her. Finally, taking his latte up with nervous hands he leaned in to whisper..

"It wasn't a woman.."

* * *

The Underground was much quieter during the daylight hours, their 'day' didn't start until the fall of the sun, and in the 'night' happened when the sun was highest in the sky. Magnus was thankful for the quiet walk, and the tunnels seemed a strange comfort after his night with Lightwood. In the dark of the dance floor Alec had not noticed the blood dried under his nails, or the stains on his shirt as they danced intimately together; his coat had covered most of it.

_He had killed the King, Long Live The King_

So it began.

Through the filtering light in the pavement cracks, Magnus felt the judgmental eye of a God he didn't believe in, yet prayed to on the ride to Neverfield. _Protect him, Lord..protect him from me. _How could he have been so stupid?

Hands that had killed the King, still felt so warm with the soft innocent skin of the Young Lord, and made it easy to forget how much of a murder he really was. Magnus could taste the sweet salty scent of Alec's lips still against his own, and when he closed his eyes he could easily imagine those soft ebon strands brushing against his cheek once more. It all hurt..almost as bad as his manhood with the ache of want—in need of release, and left with his stone like pride.

He should have taken Alec, he should have taken him right there on the floor, for all the Underground to see. Alec would have let him, he had the Young Lord under his palm that night in a way he had dreamed of for so many years. In a single night he had transformed him, he brought him to life, and in turn Alec had woken something long since dead inside him. (Riskmykiss's line)

_He wouldn't love you like this..he wouldn't have anything to do with you, Magnus. Not in this world. You lied to him. You don't live in the mansion of your youth, you live under it.—where people forgot about you. _

_He will forget too.._

The pain would go away, Magnus told himself as he imagined Alec would feel, with his plan to stand him up tonight. It would be torture to continue, because Camille was right. This had to be done. It had to; because somewhere down the road a man named Magnus would be killed for loving a boy named Alec, and this had to end. This was for the future generations able to be with who they wanted, and be what they wished to be without fear of their blood on the streets.

"Well it is about time" Her voice was dry and held no humor, "That was fast though, I take it the Young Lord ran back to his silver spoon when you told him the truth?" Camille purred leaning on the makeshift throne of the Oubliette, her legs thrown over the side watching something on the television rigged to get a few channels, and looking rather peculiar there upon the platform. It must have been time for her shows.

The Oubliette in the day didn't seem too different then the night, the beams of light seeping through the cracks made it a bit more beautiful, but more like a prison the sun taunted those held inside teasing them with freedom. The strongest light reflected off the water casting ripples on the walls, and Magnus imagined them to be dancing figures from the night before.

"Enough." Magnus threw his hands up defeated, and even a cold bitch like Camille could see the heartache—she was touched, really she was. It was hard to see him like this, as she felt partly guilty for ever dragging him down with her, but her story was much the same as his.

Camille was from money, old money that held weight in the nation. She was the daughter of a merchant, and her biggest crime was how she had fallen in love with her music teacher—Abigail. Her father had taken Abby one day to the street, pulled her by her hair to see the police kill her on the spot, and Camille never went back home.

"Magnus.." Her voice softened as she sat up, and he stopped in the shadow. "Don't do this to yourself. Stop it." Concern laced her words thickly, and left them warm across her cold lips. However, deep down she knew nothing would comfort her partner in crime. "In the next life, Bane. You both can be together, but look.." She brought a perfectly sculpted nail to point to the half broken screen, "Look at how they fear us already. We killed their King."

The newscaster flashed images of the Once and Future King, the rat bastard who had started all of this, and he spoke of his legacy as if it were something great to live up to. That man was an idle the people worshipped and she swore that was in the bible somewhere as a sin. Already concern filled the streets with the appointment of another, eager to fill the void in their heart with another public figure. It sickened Magnus, how the grave of one hadn't even got cold before they wanted another..Charles, didn't have any heirs. It would be chaos, but was there a better time to take them all out? Who would they elect then? The thought caused his thin lips to curl at the ends with a devious smirk, and Camille would return the favor—happy to see him come to his senses.

~_In light of the recent tragedy faces are turned again to Neverfield, Where Lord Lightwood gave his first public speech since the passing of Lady Aileen.~_

The newscaster would cause the retreating figure of the Underground King to still in his steps and a finely pointed ear would perk to listen to the clip from the earlier report.

~_"This both sickens me and saddens me, and my heart goes out to our nation. I want the people to know that I will be devoting every resource I can to help aid in the capture of this despicable person."~_

Alec looked so beautiful with his hair combed back, slicked to his scalp with a few strands falling around his eyes. He seemed tired, and Magnus smirked knowing the reason. He appeared so much older when dressed up like the public figure he was born to be, but when the camera steadied upon his face the dark bruises came to life that were once poorly hidden behind powder.

"Ooooh, look at that shiner, Magnus Bane you wicked wicked man. Is that where his face rubbed against the grass, while you.." His hand, held up in such a way she feared he would break her neck if she spoke again, silenced her and it was very clear her friend was not the reason for that mark.

Magnus's heart stopped in his chest as the sounds all around him silenced, all his rage would let him think about was how his next victim would be whoever did that to his beloved Prince.

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my best friend Sara Blevins (RiskMyKiss) who listened to me struggle the other night not sure where to go next without it all happening so fast. She reminded me that Alec didn't have anyone in his corner, and how important that is to have that one person. (She's mine) **

**I have my daughter this week as I share custody with her father, so updates will be a bit slow, but I've also made up my mind to do a few filler one-shots for the 'growth' of the couple, as time will be moving forward in the next chapter to keep things interesting, and keep you reading! Also, I warn you the next few chapters are going to be FILLED with action/drama/hurt/comfort and will probably be very fast moving, and dirrrrty. (Why I'm going to do a few one-shots with fluff)**

**Also, go check out Sara's story http:/www. Fanfiction .net/s/6751261/1/Absit_Omen**

**Her story takes place after CoG, and is really really cool. The alliance marks backfire on everyone and make the shadowhunters that are connected with the downworlder sick..die..ect. So her chapter where Jace goes to see Magnus, and Alec is so sick. GAH heartbreaking!**

**Thank you all again, and the reviews have made this young momma very very very very happy. PLUS they get updates faster and keep me writing. I'll also offer a sneak of the next chapter once you review again. (Might be a bit, but I'll get it out)**

**P.s. if you don't have an account with fanfiction I can't reply to your reviews. I'm very sorry for this, but if you'd like to leave your email I will happily send you a thank you with the tid-bit of the next chapter. Thank you!**


	11. 10 With the Daylight In His Eyes

**Chapter 10. With The Daylight In His Eyes**

Old man lyin' by the side of the road

Where the lorries rollin' by

Blue moon sinkin' from the weight of the load

And the buildings scrape the sky

Cold wind rippin' on the valley at dawn

And the morning paper flies

Dead man lyin' by the side of the road

With the daylight in his eyes

Don't let it bring you down

It's only castle's burning

Find someone who's turning

And you will come around

Blind man runnin' through the light of the night

With an answer in his hand

Come on down to the river of sight

And you can really understand

Red lights flashin' through the window in the rain

Can you hear the sirens moan

White cane lyin' in a gutter in the lane

And you're walkin' home alone

Don't let it bring you down

It's only castle's burning

Find someone who's turning

And you will come around

You will come around

_~Don't Let it Bring You Down, Annie Lennox_

**I**n every season there comes a time of rebirth, and none to compare of what unfolded from the cruel hands of winter. Everything in the glorious estate seemed to breathe in with the first breath of spring, and through every open wind her gentle hands brushed the sheer gossamer fabric of the drawn curtains. A storm was coming and the gentle rumble of thunder put on a show with the flashes of light. However, it was in the larger part of the estate did the real performance begin.

The main hall appeared regal in every manner, its deep red drapery so moved by the wind that Hodge was reminded of the banners raised each year in spirit of those fallen. Their heavy cracks sounded like whips, and reminded him of his years in His Majesties Naval Service when the salty sea winds assaulted the proud flags. It had been a life worth living, fighting for the security the rest of the world was without, and with it came great pride. Hodge Starkweather had lived a life of service, be it beneath the hands of the Queen, or in the protective nature of his role to the King's most guarded secret—his grandchildren.

In their youth they had played in this hall with constant laughter filling the arched ceilings, and brought life to ghostly estate while little hands leaving prints upon the fine red drapes. It had been their favorite game, and even now Hodge expected to see the Lightwood children dart behind the heavy fabric, with their nannies baffled as to where they had gone, but now it was he who hid along the walk.

The estate was full of secret passages, and though most were blocked from the later years of the war; many still remained intact. Hodge knew every one of them by heart, able to navigate the hidden stairways like tracing the course on his maps. It was second nature now, and the uncharted territory remained a mystery to all but he. This secret gave him somewhere to dwell on thoughts that would surprise the world with how horridly dark they were. He found peace in the confines of the underground chambers that tunneled through the interior of the estate, and how the silence was only ever broken by his fingers brushing over the chains that held prisoners during the great war. This had been a place of holding, a place to interrogate in the early years of the estate's grand birth; long before there were laws to prohibit the taking of lives for God and Country. _This _was his home.

Screams often went unheard, and the cries of the tortured forgotten. Here, no one heard his experiments scream, never missed their bodies, and God dared not collect their souls when he was finished. They were primitive in design, but the chambers did the job well enough, for the entire Estate had been built on blood. Hodge gathered strength from the fallen, and when they fought back he learned how to control them; animals that need to be tamed.

_Let me go..please..let me go. I have a family._

Phantom voices sang in the wind shifting as they did from weeping to pleading, _just let me die.._Where they not already? Did they not know they had been dead for years? Drifting through a river the souls seemed to thrum through the insides of the estate, and this was the life that breathed in with the spring. His work. He counted down the day until they were all gone, every last Lightwood. He felt his heart race for the day he could take Alec, but now on his mind all he could think of was breaking him whatever happened under the full moon lasat night. Poor beautiful Alec who could do no wrong in his Grandmother's eyes; who would get everything despite Hodge's countless years serving at her side; would soon be victim enough to an evil man's heartless torture.

Hers was a beautiful death, and like Aileen he would savor Alec's last breath.

Hodge continued on through the maze of secret passages, and reversible mirrors where the reflection hid the true monster behind double sides. All his life he had watched the Lightwood children, to keep them safe, but now he could listen even to the most intimate moments. He had watched Isabelle become a woman with a man she hardly knew, and had watched Alec paint portraits of beautiful men. All of these years he had known the young master's preference, and the truth confirmed as he settled into his seat to listen…

"Alec!" Isabelle squealed again pulling her feet under her as she folded her legs on his bed, "Tell me! Who is it? What is he like?" Alec loved the way she always asked the right questions, and how her first wasn't of what people would think. Deep down she knew that he asked himself that far too much. Isabelle had watched her older brother battle with himself all these years, and prayed for the day he would break the silence.

Alec stood before the large mirror outlined by a mighty gold frame, and adhered to the wall. He studied himself, but didn't feel as defeated as he did the day he stood trial in the dressing room with Hodge. Slowly he started to undo the suite that was commissioned that day, and like the buttons that slowly exposed porcelain skin he felt his nerves falling away.

"Well..he's..pretty amazingly handsome." He started never knowing Hodge listened on the otherside cupping his own manhood with desire wanting so badly for Alec to expose it all. He could imagine his tongue where the tips Alec's hands brushed gently against his own chest to free himself from the shirt, and it took every ounce of his will to not break the glass to force Alec back as he turned away.

"He used to go to school with us," Alec continued as he threw the shirt over the edge of the bed and made his way to the dresser. Isabelle would lean forward to start to fold the forgotten shirt, and tried to chase away the feeling that mortal eyes were watching somewhere. She hated this house for that very reason; everything about it had always seemed so severe, and for this reason she knew it why their parents had left.

"Oh?" She asked, breaking from the feeling as a dark brow rose to regard her brother. "The one before we were home schooled because you got into one little fight?" Isabelle had wanted to laugh seeing the way her brother exposed the truth—he always blushed, and struggled with his words.

"A-Actually..yeah. Do you remember the upperclassman…who..well stepped in?" Why was it so hard to admit this? He had thought of him so many times through the years, and dreamed about him at night. However making this confession to his sister was harder then it was to make it to God.

Isabelle's heart stopped.

"You mean the boy who used to paint his fingernails black and wear make up? Glitter on his lips Magnus Bane?" It startled Alec how shocked Isabelle sounded, the weight of her questions pulled on his heart as he felt himself not wanting to tell her anymore, and he held the clean sweater to his chest as he lost himself in thought of that day. Had Magnus worn glitter on his lips? All Alec could remember was how beautiful and rare his eyes were, and how kind he had been when he tried to help him pick up his sketches. Suddenly he was alone in the room, and when Isabelle started to move from the bed he didn't realize it.

"Alec.." Isabelle's face was white, and her sapphire eyes looked between his searching for any sign of jest. He had to be joking right? Alec felt his skin grow cold, and suddenly wished to take it all back. Yet, confusion set in as he realized it wasn't anger that clouded in her eyes, but worry; a deep pitted fear that prickled the skin over her exposed arms. Her hand moved slowly and, her flowing white skirt brushed the top of her toes as she finally stopped before him, searching for the truth.

"Alec.." She started gently, her cold fingers warming against his skin, but the blood had not returned to her face, "Honey..Magnus died 5 years ago." Isabelle's voice was so broken he knew she was not trying to play a game with his heart, nor was this one of her pranks. She was as worried as one person could get, and as her free hand came to touch her own chest he knew her heart was breaking.

Alec didn't know what to say, at first the words didn't register with him, but now thinking about the entire thing he never found so much of an ounce of an online fingerprint of Magnus. He wasn't on any of the social sights, or any of the articles that surrounded his family's fortune never included him.

"Isabelle..I," He started but stopped as his brows furrowed with confusion, "He kissed me last night."

"Alec, he died at his parents estate with a fever the winter it snowed so bad. I'm close to his mother, she and I both attend many of the same functions." She watched as Alec started to pull away, and instantly felt guilty. Quickly she scrambled through possibilities, and started to put together something he might want to hear,

"Perhaps it was his ghost, Alec..that has happened before." It was too late, Alec had turned from her to rake his fingers through his hair.

"Ghosts don't leave marks like this." He turned back to her with a rush of rage seeping through him, but he wasn't sure who to be mad at. "I touched him, Isabelle, he is real, and I'm meeting him again tonight and..he has to be real." Alec turned from his sister to fold his arms over his abs as he watched the storm rains beat against the window. Isabelle's heart broke, and she wanted so much to believe her brother then. There wasn't any explanation behind it, but Alec didn't lie. She felt her own rage build up, but quickly let it fall away to not take this moment from him.

"Don't," She soothed brushing her arms around him and pressed her cheek between his shoulder blades, "Maybe there is an explanation behind it all. Where are you meeting him?" She could feel Alec's body release the tension he was holding, and his sigh caused her eyes to close.

"I'm meeting him outside of Highgate tonight." _A grave..how fitting. _

Inside the walls, Hodge's smirk was a sinister sight that caused even the spiders in their webs to pull back into dusty corners. Their little hearts beat so feverishly, but soon relaxed as the man started back down the narrow path. He had seen enough.

**A/N: A short one I know, but I felt it needed a bit of the inside of Hodge's mind who by the way is craaaazy. So it seems Magnus has some 'splainin' to do! Might get his butt kicked by our Prince no? **

**The next chapter is going to surprise you. I promise! Want it? Review A LOT and I shall be inspired to write it this bit of madness that is in my mind. However, tomorrow is my much needed shopping trip with the girls to the big stores in Columbus, Ohio. My winter Michael Kors bag is starting to look a bit..used, lol.**

**Reviews are like candy, the sugar that keeps me going! Thank you all!**


	12. 11 I Only Fight Because I Believe

**Chapter 11. I Only Fight Because I Believe**

Meeting you here, the night's alight with midnight cheer

Our dust still unsettled, I feel the plucking of our petals

I'm drawing circles don't you know, protect the seed that wants to grow

To a garden, pardon my territory

I'd fight for you

I never knew that I could feel this way

I'm right for you

This kinda love don't happen everyday

Be friendly but cautious, you're gonna have to count your losses

Easily attracted, but dangerous to get distracted

I'm drawing circles don't you know, protect the seed that wants to grow

To a garden, pardon my territory

I'd fight for you

I never knew that I could feel this way

I'm right for you

This kinda love don't happen everyday

I'd fight for you

I didn't wanna have to raise my voice

I'm right for you

You really leave me with no choice

So what do you want and what are you thinking?

Isn't it about time you stuck up for me?

But what you can't see is we're under siege

and I only fight because I believe

Not gonna share you no

I'd fight for you

I never knew that I could feel this way

I'm right for you

This kinda love don't happen everyday

I'd fight for you

I didn't wanna have to raise my voice

I'm right for you

You really leave me with no choice

I'd fight for you

I didn't wanna have to raise my voice

I'm right for you

You really leave me with no choice

I'd fight for you

I'm right for you

_~Fight For You, by Morgan Page_

**D**ark and torturous was the night, with stars hidden behind storm clouds, and the earth trembling with the heavy fall of rain. Lightning struck almost every other step as Lord Lightwood came up the path, and the flashes of light were reminders to Alec at how alone he was. Standing at the entrance of Highgate hidden by the stone arch., the white light cast his shadow and none other each time. Not a soul passed through the gates, none searched for relief on this night of blood, but now the pulse of the rioting streets were more a danger then the shadowed area of town. He stood there alone, dressed in clothes that were not very becoming of a Lord. His jeans were a dark wash, a bit tight over the larger part of his thighs, and folded neatly over the tops of his black boots. He also wore a white shirt that fit tight across his chest that buttoned up the front, and the same leather jacket from the night before. Everything about him seemed his muted shades of normalcy save for the single red rose that was held between his pale fingers as he waited.

Alec's SLR McLaren, black on black, appeared just as frightening parked on the street as the stone statues did in the garden. The Mercedes was one of the fastest cars in the world, and that appealed to the sheltered soul more then any other feature. Alec didn't care how it was so unfitting to his character, or how much it flaunted his wealth. He knew the outside world judged him in it, and a calm and gentle artist, whose laughter was as rare as his smiles seemed to have every toy a young man should, but Magnus felt this gave Alec some sort of hope—for this made him normal enough.

The Dark Knight had watched as the White King pulled onto the street, he watched as the disappointment pulled on Alec's lips when he realized he stood there alone, but most importantly he watched the light fill the side of Alec's face from the burning lamp—the marks were there with darkened blacks upon his porcelain pure skin, and it made his chest burn. In that single second every ounce of his own will power shed away as if washed in the rain, and Magnus felt himself pulled from the shadow to join the young Prince as he watched Alec disappear into the entryway.

"_Who _did that to you…" Magnus's voice carried through the stone entrance like the roll of thunder above—menacing and deep. The rumble caused Alec to jump, and his steps to still as his hand tightened around the red rose he held so desperately. Despite the heavy rains the petals were flawless with little pearls of water laughing in the light.

"Did..w-what?" Alec asked nervously the silhouette of one of the most intriguing men he had ever known. With the collar of his long trenchcoat turned up Magnus appeared some phantom whose passion was sweet revenge on his darling Angel of Music. The anger in the Magnus's voice surprised Alec, and he let the hand that held the rose fall in an attempt to hide it. Perhaps it was too much? Perhaps it made him appear soft, and he wished he hadn't listened to Isabelle.

"Don't play coy with me Alexander." Magnus growled much colder yet his rage still carefully placed on the edge of his lips, and when the light of the lamp finally struck his face Alec's breath was taken back. He looked so exotic with his hair so wet, and skin so dark in the light of the lantern. The strands that had been spiked the night before fell around him in defeated locks, and the water trailed over his bronzed flesh before it soaked into his clothes.

"I," Alec suddenly stiffened, and pressed his shoulders back as he lifted his chin, "I don't know what you are talking about." He spoke with so much conviction in his words that all Magnus could do was laugh angrily, but as the air suddenly grew colder Alec felt what he thought to be a thousand icy hands throw him against the stone archway. In this moment he thought of Dan, how Magnus had made the very figure of his tormentor crash into the lockers. Alec felt himself pinned, and the shadow that covered his eyes was the figure of the other who stood against him to keep him there.

"Don't," Magnus hissed between clenched teeth as he tore his eyes from Alec's to better examine the mark left by the hand of the servant, and his own came brush back a strand of Alec's black hair to see how far the bruise went into his hairline.

Defiance set Alec's jaw, but his icy eyes watched as the black slits of the other went over every inch of his face, searching for anything else out of place. Finally, when the amber color of the Underground King met his own Magnus seemed to calm, and the air around them warmed lightly.

Alec's cheek heated under the smooth musty scented palm of the man he dreamed so often about, and let reality sink in. Magnus brushed his skin as gently as he could, as if touching it made it real- This wasn't a dream. Those black ugly marks were as real as the man beneath his hand.

"Who did this to you..?" Magnus asked in a whisper then, biting back the fiery rage that consumed him far too often, "Who dare touch my beloved Prince?" His long fingers went around the back of Alec's neck to keep his eyes directed up to him knowing the blush that rose over his cheeks would warrant his eyes to fall away.

"I fell," He lied, "I…" _I fell into the fist of a man who scares me greatly. _The words seemed impossible when thought, and Alec couldn't dare speak them out.

_I fear him greatly, I fear him because there is something sinister about him. The way he looks at me..the way he touches me..its not.._Magnus dropped his face to brush his lips gently against his own, and Alec's heart fluttered in his chest when he returned the kiss.

_Its not like this.._ Alec's eyes closed as the other man kissed passionate the tender places that his pulse betrayed to be tender. His heart beat faster under his kiss., and the blood that rushed beneath Alec's skin told far too many secrets. Everything about his body hardened under this man, and he was thankful for the support of the stone once again.

Alec let out a moan that was quick, and more a shudder as it whimpered from his lips and he felt those long fingers tighten upon his backside to bring their bodies together. His mind was clouded, though his judgment true—this man was not dead.

"I.." Alec's body betrayed his own anger, hardening against the man's hand. They had too much to talk about, he couldn't let his this man distract him. He needed to know the truth.

"I'll kill who ever did it to you, Alec." Magnus whispered against the tender shell of the Young Lord's ear, as he brought his body closer in the embrace."I'll kill anyone who ever hurts you." With that he lifted his fingers to trail against the edge of Alec's pants, and warm fingers brushing heated flames against the bare skin beneath his shirt. Instinct had Alec press his head back against the wall, but his eyes opened again as they suddenly sobered.

As if he could feel Alec grow colder under him, Magnus stopped with questioning eyes that looked hopelessly afraid for the first time he had done something wrong, or had judged the Young Lord the wrong way? Alec no longer suffered over his words, but met Magnus's eyes.

"Do you mean like your parents killed you?"

The words fell as heavy as the rain, and Alec watched as defeat set in the amber of Magnus's eyes. Wet like this, he wouldn't as beautiful as the school had once come to know him, but in this state he had never been so pure. He doubted he would ever be this beautiful again. Alec had always found beauty in the most unexpected things, and though the dark liner that had outlined his eyes ran down his face; the water still falling from the ends of his hair—Alec was looking at the truth. This was the true lost soul before him.

Somewhere in the realization of Alec's words, Magnus had taken a few steps back as the Young Prince tried to steady his heated desire with heavy breaths that caused his broad chest to rise and fall with a final sigh to pierce the silence. The truth hurt Magnus more then he realized it would, but what hurt worst was now to stand no longer against Alec as his equal—he was the lesser of the two, and had to stop pretending. Alec could look down at him now, just like the entire world did. He didn't know what to say, or how to even start. Alec lived in his grand estate, and he the waterways below the streets. He wore rags against Alec's riches, no matter how much they wore like fine designer labels. It was a harsh truth that the rips in his jeans were not from fashions fingers, but of desperate attempts to survive. His thin frame was not from personal trainers strict diets, but starving so his people could eat. He was so tired not because he stayed out all hours of the night, but had to sleep with a knife beneath his pillow—and one eye open.

Magic came and went with his strength, and this above all else was what made his parents push him out. It wasn't the boy they had arrested that they found their son with, nor was it how he stole make-up from the stores to wear proudly; it was how far from human he really was. They thought him the antichrist, and punished him just the same.

_He's got the mark of the devil..look at his eyes. _

Half gloved hands folded before him as Magnus fought a war within himself to even try to make it right, but deep down he knew Alec had more to be mad at him about then simply lying about his home life. The burning embers of his eyes died slowly smoldering now with the smoke, and he let his head fall forward with defeat.

"It's a hard world outside your windows, Alec." Magnus finally spoke as his shoulders started to tremble, but he took a deep breath in an attempt to center himself, "More like your paintings then you realize." Finally, he raised his eyes to meet Alec's once again, and the endless calm pool of water was just one more reminder of how different they were. _Beautiful blue eyes._

Alec slowly pushed from the wall, feeling the distance between them a thousand years apart, but only a few slow steps would close the spaces in between. The rose in his hand lifted to the Dark Knight, but Magnus let it linger there for a moment until Alec tipped it against his own nose to inhale the sweet scent before offering it to the man so close to him he could smell the wild night in his hair.

Magnus would take the flower reminded of Alec's lips when the smooth red silken petals brushed against his own as he brought it to his nose. The smile that had threatened on the corner of his lips returned carefully, but still he couldn't find any words to even explain. How did he start this long conversation?

Alec closed his hand around Magnus's, reassuring the possession of the flower to the Dark Knight, and with it his intentions,

"You took me out last night, pulled me from my solitude. Let me show you the same kindness?" He asked with such brightness in his eyes, that the other found it impossible to deny. Yet, in the next set of words Alec's voice was a whisper of desperation to never let his knight go, "Come away with me..just for tonight. Forget this life, Magnus Bane, and let me take _you _out."

At first Magnus wanted to laugh, wanted so bad to pinch himself for fear of dreaming, and to shake away the illusion before him. He didn't need to go anywhere, his life here was just fine; despite how tired he looked, or how worn he really was, this war had to happen. However, a small crack in universe let all the rules and laws fall away, and he breathed in the scent of the rose once again looking thoughtful over it.

"Will you have me home by 11?" He said with a friendly jest, but not far from the truth. There was a world of destruction coming to the city in the following days, and he would need to be there.

"If you mean 11 in the morning then sure." Alec smiled as he stood on the tips of his toes to kiss the much taller man, and as he moved to lead Magnus to his car while he laced his fingers within his own.

Back into the rain, it was Magnus's turn to feel his heart flutter, and the cold water hissed against his hot skin as Alec even opened the door for him despite the rain. However, when he started to get in the car every ounce of his body tingled with the same electricity of the lightning that lit the sky, and he stopped to stare out into the shadows of the brush around the entrance. _Something was out there._

"Magnus?" Alec asked with the rain on his lips, and at first thought the other man to not hear him at all. "Magnus what is it?" His hand tightened on the fingers that he had started to help into the car, and it brought attention back to the cat eyes of his knight.

"I'm sorry..I..thought..I thought I saw something." With a shake of his head he let Alec help him into the car, and kept a well-trained eye on his Prince the entire length of the other side. It wouldn't be until Alec locked the doors, and the car roared to life did he ease back into the leather interior. God, Lightwood had the best toys.

"You know.." Magnus smirked looked at his Prince with an arched well-defined brow, "For an artist you sure do have warrior like taste in transportation. Don't your kind drive big vans with murals on the side of winged creatures?" Alec's laughter was almost drowned out by the way he revved the engine before letting off the clutch as pulled out onto the rainy street, and Magnus was pretty sure that alone was enough to get him off.

Boys..

* * *

Dark sinister glowing red eyes burned as they opened in the shadow, and the men standing just off his shoulder would start to follow. Hodge would hold up his hand to stop them,

"Mr. Starkweather. That is the King's killer…" The Uniformed officer protested, but was silenced when the other shook his head.

"The King's Killer with my Lightwood. If you detain him now, you will never know where the rest of them are hidden, and I need to break the boy." Turning to face the general, he would see the question in his eyes.

"Trust me.."

* * *

**A/N: Bwhahahaha. I know I know..all these teasers are enough right? It just really hit me this scene, and the next. I mean I could go ahead and rush to the end if you'd like, but it wouldn't be as good! This one sucked, but if I told you the next chapter will have some 'Lemons' of some sort will you still review? I PROMISE it will live up to the 'M', its just more..romantic and I just had a last minute plot bunny tug on me. I just feel its more realistic if they grow closer.**

**If I didn't thank you this last time around due to traveling, THANK YOU! Reviews inspired me to write this, so thank you thank you. Plus the very awesome ****Kiyori-chan made a cover I put on my profile. You should so check it out. She rocks my socks, and her art is amazing (make her send you her drawings) DA BOMB! **

**Thank you again for all the awesome reviews. Your feedback means the world to me, and as I start my work week I'll be writing after work just so long as I'm inspired. So please do it again? The more you review the faster updates get put out. I'll try to have something for you in the reply. **


	13. 12 Can't Keep A Lion From Hunting

*Warning, Adult Content Below*

**Chapter 12 Can't Keep A Lion From Hunting**

I'd wake up, and make love to you if I had you

I would touch you so much, but I'm not allowed to

What I hate is to wait, but in this case I'm patient

I'm discreet, I'm not weak, I just need the moment

He wants me, he wants me not

I want everything he's got

If I leaned over and tried to kiss you

Would I be wrong, after so long to kiss you

Would you pretend, we're only friends, if I kissed you

At least I can dream of you in a scene, when I'd kiss you

On one hand, we are friends, but still my mind it wanders

Through side streets and alleys, I just keep growing fonder

He wants me, he wants me not

I want everything he's got

If I leaned over and tried to kiss you

Would I be wrong, after so long to kiss you

Would you pretend, we're only friends, if I kissed you

At least I can dream of you in a scene, when I'd kiss you

He wants me, he wants me not

I want everything he's got

He wants me, he wants me not

I want everything he's got

To stop me is not easy, can't keep a lion from hunting

I'm focused, I won't miss, there's no control of some things

If I leaned over and tried to kiss you

Would I be wrong, after so long to kiss you

Would you pretend, we're only friends, if I kissed you

At least I can dream of you in a scene, when I'd kiss you

If I kissed you

If I kiss you

_~Kiss You, by IIO_

**T**he city streets passed in such a blur Magnus felt as though the universe stood still as his beating heart burned against his chest. He felt as though they were drifting through a river of light stretched out in long lines. The downtown lights reflected in small pearls despite how fast his Prince was going, and he felt as though this was as close to the true night sky he could ever get. Lost in thought, he brushed the tips of his fingers over the glass wondering if he would touch the universe as well.

Outside the car the faces of the people on the streets turned as they passed with careful judgment to not let their gaze linger too long, and it was a comfort to know they watched the car with little care what was inside. The McLauren's interior was so silent compared to the motor that roared beneath the hood, and Magnus felt as though they were suspended between time and space—drifting through the river of reality. The careful thrum of the wiper blades was the only constant sound, but the silence wasn't strange, a comfortable feeling to be so close without filling the void with words neither one of them wanted to hear.

_I'm supposed to hate you…_

_I'm supposed to kill you…_

The reality of the actual truth sank in each time he watched Alec change the gears; they had much to talk about, but how did he even start?

Amber eyes moved across the hood and Magnus finally noticed they were deeper in the city then he had been in a very long time. A hundred people walked the streets still so alive with the night, and the lights gave the wet stone a warm glow despite the cold. It had been years since he had been brave enough to venture in stomping ground that had once been his own. A wild child, Magnus Bane had lost his soul once in the downtown lights, and his virginity. Polished shoes and painted nails were in groups laughing as they passed from one club to the other, and he felt his chest tighten with the memory. The storefronts glittered with the latest fashions, flashing in the light, and he couldn't help but smile thinking back to when he was Alec's age. Careless, rich, and wild Magnus Bane couldn't imagine how much the man beside him had to carry. Where had his childhood gone? Everything was still just as it was, untouched by the turf war, and a hundred things caught his eye.

"See something you like?" Alec asked so casually as if he had thrown all his caution in the wind, and that if Magnus wished he would march right in and buy him the entire store. The Lightwoods were some of the few that could. He wouldn't take his eyes off the road to even look at what the other man was looking at, but somewhere in his heart he knew. Magnus had been known for his outlandish outfits when they were in school, he was always getting in trouble for them. He was nothing like the man he was now, and now it was Alec's turn to wonder what sort of weight he carried.

Magnus would press his back against the seat with a smirk curled upon his lips as he gave the boy a sideways glance, and for a split second Alec was reminded of the carefree outgoing flirt he had once known.

"Perhaps," It was such strange feeling to be his old self again; The Magnus that Alec would have known had he let him help was perched on the leather interior as if this sort of treatment was natural. In the past everyday countless men asked those same questions, didn't they? "But you know you'd die before I let you even get of the car to get it." He spoke to the world outside the window even as his voice was directed to Alec, but the surprise lit his eyes as he felt Alec's hand take his own.

"You will need to get over that." Alec cast his own little shy arrogant smirk that damn near drove the other insane with desire. This couldn't be that same little boy who cried in the halls of the school, or the quiet little soul that was trapped just the night before. Magnus would snort a bit of laughter, as he slid his eyes to Alec's with a tease.

"You trying to get me to give it up on the first date Lightwood?" Oh, how this tore all that arrogance down, and Alec's face flushed as he suffered back laughter to take his hand away to shift gears as they started to pull into the very heart of the city. Magnus smiled as he won that match, but was surprised when Alec continued.

"I figured I'd at least take you to dinner first." Alec took his eyes from the road for a moment to take in the reflection of the rain against the olive skin of his companion, but caught that careful moment of surprise in the other's eyes. He watched as Magnus pinned his gaze forward on the road before them and how his face darkened. His half gloved fingers dug into the interior as if bracing himself for the words that came next.

"Alec..I can't be seen in public." His words were a quiet whisper, and so full of anger though not directed towards the Prince, but of his own humiliation—his shame. As the car stopped at the red light Alec struggled with questions that went unanswered, but pressed the doubt from his mind. "Its not you, Alec…" He breathed again, and watched as the truth ran through Alec's mind. He knew Magnus was 'dead', but tonight he didn't care. Would he ever care? Alec had half a mind to not drive right up to the estate where his family lived and break down the gates to reveal to them they could kill his identity, but they couldn't take his life. Cowards.

"Magnus, we could go anywhere you want tonight, they can't touch you while you are with me. I may not have an army to bring them down, but I have a plan. I have an idea that I hope will bring peace to this nation. The King's death was a blessing in many ways..ways I can't talk about, not even to myself." Suddenly Magnus felt the weight a thousand heavy stones crash around him, "But." He started, but Magnus interrupted…

"About that, Alec.." The words were stolen from him as the flashes of light came as an onslaught with the camera flashes bouncing off the rain soaked glass, but Alec simply put his foot down to speed through them onto the private ramp that went underground at first before it emptied out into a small garage where a small collection of just as expensive cars waited. Someday he would simply run them all down, but for now the world was still again and dark.

Two men with white gloves came to open the doors of the McLauren, and Magnus sat stunned by the attendant there to help him from the car. It was thrilling to him to watch his dirty half gloved hand touch the white silk of the doormans', and the older man's lips held back a frown. Magnus was judged all over again by the new face and it made him want to laugh all that much more.

"Not everyday you see someone like me get out of one of those hmm?" Magnus tested the man who was forbidden to return anything less then a smile, and gentle warm words of welcome.

"Welcome Home, Mr. Lightwood." Spoke the other man who took Alec's keys to park the car, and gave a warm smile to Magnus as well, "Welcome to One Canada Square." Formal words welcomed him and damned in every other way, but why were they not at all surprised to see such a creature get out of Alec's car? The thought bothered him, but perhaps the Young Lord often brought subjects for his paintings home.

Architect Cesar Pelli had broken the mold when he fashioned One Canada Square after Big Ben, and turned his eyes towards heaven as he brought people closer to the sky then ever. The skyscraper is one of the tallest buildings in all of the United Kingdom, with the pyramid pinnacle 800 feet above sea level. Magnus felt as though he stood against goliath who would never fall. In the late era of the economic depression the office buildings were turned into luxury suites, and rented out to the wealthy.

"You coming?" Alec asked as stainless steel doors plated in fine silver opened then to the private elevator, and Alec would touch gently the small of Magnus's back to lead him into the shaft. Everything about this small space was so new; the buttons were not numbered but assigned to a series of codes, and when Alec put his in Magnus felt the shift of the gravity change as they started to climb the 50 stories It would take to get to his loft suite in the clouds.

"We needed a place to stay while we were in town, and Grandmother feared of me traveling back and forth in the winter from the University. purchased this for me when I am in town to study. Its where I have been living for the past few years. " Alec broke the silence as if to explain the means of the suite, but when he pressed his back against the cool steel he watched Magnus count the floors as they passed.

"And I guess a dorm just didn't fit your lifestyle hmm?" Magnus returned with a coy smile as his bare fingertips went over the polished buttons and he felt his ears start to ring as they went higher.

"Well, its more secure for me, and it's a nice little get away from my own hell." Alec watched as Magnus made a face, and listened to him whisper.

"Must be hell indeed." Magnus snorted before he could stop himself, and instantly regretted it. He watched as Alec's face fell with calm anger. He knew he shouldn't have said that to the Prince, but it had been many years since he had known that wealth and fame didn't make you happy. Magnus had fallen head first—pushed, from that life, and it made him bitter. Yet, in the careful way Alec worried over his lip he knew Alec was upset.

"Yeah its always such a great time when all the world watches in your windows judging your life for what it is, when they have no idea what really goes on. Its such a great life to be told what to do, how to dress, where to be, or that you were born into this how dare you be different." Alec's anger caused Magnus to turn to face him, and he instantly wished he could take it all back.

"Hey.." He whispered gently, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I…I've just been living on the streets for so long I have forgotten what this life was like. Alec please." He brushed his hand across Alec's smooth cheek before lightly kissing his forehead—careful to keep his back to the camera. "Don't be mad." And like that all his anger fell away, as Alec felt his heart flutter in his chest as he pressed his cheek against his Dark Knight's palm.

"Then don't piss me off." What beautiful fire his blue eyes held when they calmed from anger, or burned with desire. How he could be lost in them forever. Magnus felt as though getting to their destination was torture, and missed the sounding of the bell that noted their arrival. All he could feel was Alec's gentle hand take his own to lead him in.

_Waters so blue I wish I could live there.._

The sky without the haze of the rain seemed so blue despite the threatening clouds that pelted against the clear glass. He felt as though they were drifting at the bottom of the sea, in a castle beneath the waves. The space before Magnus took his breath it was so beautiful, so rare, and seeming as though it wasn't real; he couldn't move for fear of waking. The floors shimmered so polished they appeared wet, and the fine marble reflected the floor to ceiling windows. The color pallet was intoxicating and calm, but the thousand candles that flickered made his mind go back to the heavenly night with the warm glow. The long hall opened into the great room where a table was seated in a grand display beneath a crystal chandelier that was as tall as he. It hung over the single beam that ran seamlessly over the glass rooftop, and the windows surrounded the seating. They were so high up the clouds Magnus felt as though he could have touched the storm if only the windows were open.

"I told you I was taking you to dinner." Alec smiled touching the small of his back again to lead the man to where the glass top table with the golden stand waited with food so fresh he could still hear it sizzle upon the plate. "Like a proper gentleman should." Slowly Magnus followed Alec's hand as the Young Lord would even seat him, and press in his chair, like out of the storybooks.

"Alexander.." Magnus could hardly take his eyes from the spread, but soon raised his eyes that reflected the light of the candles perfectly, "How is it you have never been kissed when I bet you take all of your dates here hmm?" He teased as pulled his hands free from his gloves and shoved them in his pocket.

"I do not know..I have never been on a date before." Alec blushed heavily, looking down at his plate before looking once more to Magnus. Lord how he didn't want to admit that, and how his face burned with the reality of it. Yet it was the truth. How could he have asked anyone out when he himself couldn't be with whom he wished? However, It was surprise that would arch the brow of the Underground King, and his cat like eyes danced with mischief.

"Never?" Magnus asked as he tried to contain his eagerness in the meal, but he could tell Alec was enjoying it just as much as he. He would watch the young prince knowing Alec was nervous; afraid he had chosen poorly, but half the thrill of being courted was how the gentleman arraigned everything was it not? Alec had been taught these rules through the iron tips of his governesses' hands, and all the help around him.

Alec's blush never got old , and every time the face of the prince painted a soft pink, Magnus would watch as his mouth with the thoughts of a quick comeback; or of how Alec's eyes shimmered with his eager nature.

"The last time you asked me that,,, you kissed me. If I say no, you will do it again?" Alec sat back in his chair over the half eaten dinner between them, and watched as Magnus pushed what was left around the plate before he offered his own lingering smirk. His attention over the golden plate waned and his amber eyes would look through his dark lashes at the boy. With the black liner around them he looked evil, something dangerous, but more importantly so damn sexy. They smoldered through the coal, and burned with intent to make Alec burn in the same fire. He would make this night bring the young prince to life again, and he would make him a man.

"Perhaps, though..I'm not certain His Lord would wish to kiss such a humble servant as dirty as he is in his royal court, here in his castle in the clouds?" Magnus pouted sitting back in his own chair like a king in his own right, and staring down foreign territory in his eyes—daring him to go further. Alec laughed lightly that beautiful sweet sound and nervously worried his lip again between his teeth as he made a gesture over his shoulder.

"Careful, my castle has many traps..even for dirty subjects. Come," He stood offering Magnus his hand, "Let me give you a tour?" Through the vacant halls alive with the careful flicker of light he would lead Magnus through the maze of the penthouse. Outside the rain had stopped long enough to cease its pounding on the windows, and the city lights lit the underside of the idle clouds like a fire. The air was cool and calm with careless wind that pressed through the few open cracks in the windows that circulated fresh rain scented air slowly.

Magnus marveled at the interior, just as much as he did the out, the high ceilings were lined with art that was hauntingly beautiful, and each room was bursting with hidden treasures of a families collection of all things forbidden. They passed a glorious master bedroom, a room where a grand piano was displayed against another wall of glass, and finally a room he thought to be Alec's studio for the painting there upon the easel was half finished. He wanted to make Alec go back, but before he could protest he found himself standing in the ivory polished space of the most luxurious bathroom that had ever passed before his eyes.

The walls were nothing but glass, from floor to ceiling without any coverings, for who could see inside this high? The water over the massive tub that was more a small pool was ever flowing, constantly heating as it cycled through the filters, and Magnus felt his knees go weak. When had it been they had not bathed in the river, or broke into gas stations just to have fresh water to drink? Times were tough, though the cause was pure, and he would take none of it back…but for a single moment he thought of nothing else other then that beautiful pool of crystal clear hot water, and Alexander Lightwood crying out his name.

Along the sides of the tub were jewel tone bottles of expensive shampoos and oils, as well as soaps imported in fine crystal dishes. He would even wager the towels that were folded in the rack were warming, just as the champagne chilled on the ice. Yet..

"There is only one glass, Alexander" Magnus noticed by the sparkling substance that waited there for him, and the fresh cut strawberries there calling his name. "Alexander, you are not old enough to drink are you?" The influence was implied as he turned a look over his shoulder while he sauntered to the edge of the crystal pool that overlooked the cityscape, "Or am I to assume I shall be enjoying this alone? You are a gentleman after all, and what kind of man do you take me for?" Alec flushed again feeling his skin burn beneath his shirt that was suddenly buttoned too high up for the air couldn't escape his lungs as he watched Magnus shed away the long trench coat to expose the broad shoulders that were exposed by the sleeveless nature of the shirt he wore beneath.

"I..well..I..am..you..this..is for you. I wouldn't, and its just for you..." Alec stopped suddenly when he watched Magnus pull the shirt over his shoulders, and how his body rippled as it exposed the tan olive skin pulled tight over the hardened surface of his back.

Alec quickly diverted his gaze and slowly turned to face the hall, but wouldn't leave just yet. He had far too much to recover from before he could move, and would need to put his pride back into place.

"I would never think of you like that. I just wish to show you how appreciated last night was, and this is the only way I know how. I think the world of you and would never imply such a thing." Alec heard Magnus start on the belt, and as he slid the leather from the loops in his pants he knew the other did it to taunt him. It was the slow sound of an agonizing release as he finally heard the leather fall free to the floor. His shoes came next, and his feet freed from the bindings as well the stockings that came as well, were almost covered by the pants that hung low on his hips now without their keeper, and they started slowly for the Prince who was oblivious to his motions toward him. "

I'll leave you be, but if you need.." Alec stopped as he felt the other man's hand come to touch his side, and take hold of his hips just as he did when they on the back of his bike. He felt his breath leave his chest, and his heart rush as he knew there was no getting away. Alec could feel the warm exposed skin of the other's chest as he pressed it against his back while lips came in to graze gently the tender flesh of his neck as they made their way to his ear.

"Don't go." Magnus purred into his ear while his tongue chased chills over the heated skin of his neck, and Alec felt himself warm all over as he turned in the arms of the man he had dreamed about all these years. This moment felt so much more a dream still even though he was there before him. His tall frame was enough to make his knees weak, but as his hands had nowhere else to go other then the smooth surface of his sides, Alec felt his stomach come to life with nerves.

Alec ran his fingers along the curves of his body, the fine rock hard lines of his chest, before tracing his fingertips along the dip of his neck. His blue eyes explored what was forbidden while hands brought reality that he was real, and Magnus watched Alec's face as the other read the lines of his body, like reading a fine book he would know every part. Every scar had a story, each bruise had meaning, and with every new beginning their came an untimely end. Yet, their world felt right for once. This was their time now, and the innocent young prince against him wouldn't have to worry about a thing—he would fight for this feeling inside, this emotion he knew as an unspoken prayer. Love.

Alec's blue eyes lifted to his own once more they had those questions again, but nothing of ill will. He knew this was right, and knew well that no God on this world would punish someone for loving another as he did Magnus. He shook under his touch, and shivered with nerves that seemed to only calm when Magnus took his lips once again. Hungry gasping kisses were replaced with tender passionate devotions, and Magnus started to slowly work his fingers up Alec's arms. They fingered the fine expensive fabric of his shirt while starting to slowly work the buttons free., and when the first was freed the cool rush of the air pulled over the naked skin of Alec's neckline, causing him to shudder. Magnus wouldn't take this as a protest but still slowed his decent to free him of his armor that kept him safe from the world.

Nothing needed to be said even as their lips left the other as Alec lowered his head to watch Magnus's hands work the last button free, and would raise his eyes only as the other man lingered there with his lover's shirt undone. Alec didn't know what to expect, and this was so unlike him. He had no idea what came next, having protected his purity with the faithful day it wouldn't be taken, but given. He tried to convince himself that he had saved it just for this moment, with this man against him, but deep down a fear that poisoned his skin like a drug begged Magnus to take him; take him before someone else did.

Suddenly, his thoughts were stolen as the tips of Magnus's fingers trailed along the opened shirt and rolled it back off his shoulders—and now it was his turn to explore skin that had never been touched like this until now. He closed his eyes as his porcelain ivory skin came to life with a fire that burned eternal, and the warm hands of the other ran over the expanse of his chest. He let his head fall back while lips parted in a low moan, as the other man worked kisses up the warm line of his neck.

"Come with me, Alexander." Magnus whispered against his ear before breaking free to turn towards the tub, and Alec wanted so much to protest out that the other dare move. How dare he take away his warm kisses, and passionate hands!

Opening his eyes again, Alec caught himself staring at the glorious exposed form of the most beautiful man he had ever known. (always known) Magnus was so thin compared to him, but even an artist knew how to train his body. Alec spent his childhood in fencing lessons, and sports that entertained his noble parents. He may have lived a sheltered life, but his body knew how to keep its shape well. It seemed the years had been kind to Magnus as well, despite the scars that lined his back now a bit darker with the heated water.

The water was so warm it kissed Magnus's skin with a blush, and ran over the Underground King's shoulders as he slowly descended inside the marble pool. He cried out lowly as the water ran over his skin, and let himself be devoured by the comfort. He felt saved, washed of all his sins, like every time he looked into Alec's eyes, but it was when his body adjusted did he submerge himself completely. When he would rise again rivers of water ran over his olive skin. His hair fell around him like black silk now freed from their hold, and Alec marveled at how long it actually was. He looked so exotic before in the rain, but when the golden candles lit the water and his skin it almost made him appear tribal in heritage. The black liner fell away from his eyes, and for the first time in over 10 years the true Magnus Bane could be made out beneath it.

Unlike Alec, Magnus knew he was beautiful, he knew he had the structure in his face that was captivating, and had for so many years used it to his advantage. There was forever that wild animal allure to him that was both intoxicating and frightening, and Alec couldn't help but answer as Magnus's finger curled to beckon him in.

Slow steps pulled him to the side of the pool where his fingers first broke the still water that was between them, and used it as an excuse to take in the man beneath the water. He was so big, stout, despite his thin form, and every ounce of his own desire pressed harshly against its entrapment. It would be then Magnus closed the distance with as little disturbance in the water as possible, and would reach out to brush his wet fingers of the smooth abs of the young prince. He would put his wet hands upon the buckle of Alec's pants and pull him forward to capture his lips again.

Alec stiffened while Magnus's hands worked the belt from his pants, freeing what was beneath, and for a split second started to panic. His heart raced in his chest until it almost hurt as his chest tightened around it. His eyes flashed with memories that were not his own, but more the fears of what would have come had he not left the estate.

Magnus's warm hand eager and brave pulled Alec's hardened form, and the touch alone caused white light to filter around Alec's eyes until he closed them again. He could tell Magnus knew what he was doing; his experience was alive with the way he pulsed his hand slowly to the base of his length, and would in turn start to work his way up again. Alec's breaths grew heavy, but it wasn't out of pleasure—this was pure panic.

"Wait." Alec spoke as he sucked in breaths, and instantly Magnus felt his heart sink. Alec's shoulders shook with a fear he couldn't explain—nerves perhaps, but he pulled away from Magnus fast and went to his knees as he curled up. This bothered Magnus deeply, because those blue eyes of his Prince were torn between reality and his dreams, but then he as well would come to rest on his knees on the built in seat that brought the water to his chest. Magnus would then reach out to brush his wet fingers through the ebon strands of his Prince.

"I'm..I'm sorry." Alec started, but was quickly silenced.

"Don't be." Magnus spoke rather dryly, but an instant quiet soothing sweet whisper would follow, "Come here, get in." Alec had been given a chance to regain himself, and would stand slowly letting his jeans finally hit the floor completely instead of hanging low on his hips. He wasn't as shy this time around, and slipped into the water only to be seated beside his date with Magnus taking him in his arms.

* * *

**A/N: That was super long right? I had to stop it because it was well over 5,000 words I didn't know if there was a limit, but did you enjoy it? Think they went all the way? Maybe we'll find out by morning? Mwhahahaha**

**Review it and you shall find out as I will update faster!**

**Thank you all! I've worked on this scene for three days now so I hope you really like it, and when I say work..I mean spent the last few nights at starbucks writing it out.**

**Also, I'm going to add a few pics of Alec's pad on my profile.**


	14. 13 Part of the Sky

-Adult Content-

**Chapter 13. Part of the Sky**

Like waves to the shore

Part of the ocean

The stars high above

Part of the sky

Now I drift to you

I dream of a river

A water so blue

Wish I could live there

Wish you were here..

Like the air that I breathe

You'll always be there

The wings that I need

When I wanna fly

Now I drift to you

I dream of a river

A water so blue

Wish I could live there

Wïsh you were here..

~_Wish You Were Here, by Bliss on Quiet Letters_

**T**hrough the matters of time and space a single memory floated through the night, and its child like laughter echoed silently through the halls. This was the after thought of the love that was shared, and the unbreakable bond being formed. It drifted over the clothes still lost where they had fallen, and over the half finished glass that now rest on the side of the empty pool. Over the smooth stone it haunted the puddles left behind with the stars reflections still flickering brightly. The ghost of the memory flowed in the breeze with arms wide stretched as if basking in the glorious sun, but this was what it was like to live in love again. This was what it was to be found, and as the spirit continued the hall where careful whispers could finally be made out.

"Come here," His voice was a slow careful whisper as Magnus pulled his lover into his arms. He felt Alec's body tremble, shiver with the anticipation that was to come, and rise beneath his touch—this was pure bliss. He was so beautiful there, with the white pristine bedding drawn up around him, and their bodies a tangled mess wrapped by the feathery down filled cover that could easily be mistaken for wings of an angel. His angel.

Magnus lived in a dream, perfect and passionate with every inch of his body surrounded by the warmth that was Alexander Lightwood, and the ever present innocents of his youth. He held his body above the Young Lord positioned on his elbows to draw his figure across Alec's broad chest. He wanted to cry out every time his love made a low sweet sound of pleasure beneath his kiss, the sound alone to could bring him to his end. This was the purity that came with the untouched, but even Magnus could not be prepared for how glorious it felt to be so wanted by something so precious.

Hours of this had passed, and he had not once grown weary of the innocent touches with deep meaningful kisses. For Magnus it had been far too long since last he was loved. The life he lived on the streets was a pending one that often dealt him a heavy hand of cards—full of spades, and full of death. He sold his body like he sold his soul to make a living, and after a while it was hard to come back from that reality. Every night there was someone different, some harder then before, someone that got off on making him hurt. Some of them left scars. His skin told this, some of them left scars on his soul, but Alec had only ever been the one to ever be close enough to his heart, and he knew Alec would never break it. The truth would break Alec's heart, but even tonight Magnus couldn't bring himself to think of it.

Thoughts were pressed from his mind as he pressed his Prince back in the sheets, kisses growing more feverishly deeper as he left Alec's lips to start the descent to where his heart beat wild beneath his chest, and further down to where the heat of his sex throbbed in hardened state. Magnus could feel the pulse under his fingers as he wrapped his hand around Alec's length and slowly started to work a rhythm. His eyes would not leave the angelic face of his beauty to judge his reaction, and Magnus was fully ready to pull away the moment Alec stopped enjoying it. However, the Young Lord's eyes were closed, and those carved sculpted features of his face were tilted back as his back arched into his hand. It would not be until finally Magnus's warm moist lips grazed the tip did Alec's lip part to allow a low moan to escape, and this gave the Dark Knight true pleasure to take him all in. Slowly over the tip he ran his tongue going down the long shaft until his hot breath and wet lips tightened on their way up again. Alec's eyes opened as his hips bucked with the pace that was set. Deep and even, Magnus took him in fast wet strokes until he was completely lost in the moment, and his release taunted him on the edge.

"M-Magnus." Alec sucked in a breath as a moan escaped, and the man's name on his lips a sigh of pleasure. He felt himself coming closer to an end, and felt the tension build like the rain flooding the streets below. One hand broke free from his hold upon the sheets to touch the soft still damp hair of his lover and as he tangled his fingers through the ebon strands he would raise his head to watch Magnus's rise and fall over him—this was too much. He was too far away, but Alec couldn't protest that now. "I-I'm going to..." Those little words caused the Dark Knight to only pump harder, faster, and finally he felt the warm sweet seed of his love spill over his tongue.

Magnus felt his lover's entire body be stolen by the climax, and watched as air was sucked in heavy breaths that caused the tight muscles over his stomach to define. He watched as Alec's shoulders shivered and he shook all the way to his fingers; and how he tried to muffle his cry by arching his back and neck.

Alec didn't immediately go limp, and Magnus still slid his hand up and down slowly to welcome the aftershock as the fruits of his labor still spilled in less severe bursts. He used it to his advantage, dragging out the orgasm until Alec was practically begging him to stop with eyes so pale the white lights still burst behind them. It was torture, but felt so damn good. He knew that already Alec was trying to recall it all so that he could turn it around, give back to his love just the way he had been given, but a light danced over his eyes as he sat up to coil his arms around Magnus; pulling him in against his chest.

It was so strange to feel so small even though he was a good deal taller then Alec, but the other was much more stout. He felt as though in Alec's arms nothing could ever hurt him. Yet, when Magnus's face was taken between the other man's hands he felt as though he would melt, but when he was kissed again he almost missed the words whispered next..

"Take me." Alec purred against his lover's lips between kisses as his hands explored now hungrily the man upon his lap, and with his eyes closed he would miss the surprised look Magnus gave before getting lost again with Alec's mouth. It would be his turn to curl his fingers through the Young Lord's hair, brushing it back from his face, and he enjoyed how the damp nature of it made his strands curl slightly.

"Alec." Magnus started to inform the Prince about what he was asking, questioning his heart at the moment. It was a big step to take with a man that was practically a stranger, and though in this moment he could pretend the bruise on Alec's cheek was the worst thing that would ever happen to the Seat-Holder—he knew the truth. Someday he would crush his heart while crushing his body beneath the weight of what was to come. "You don't know what you are saying." He breathed all at once, but his own desire needed to be fulfilled..badly; and it took every ounce of his control not to turn the boy over to take him right there. It was a primal urge to want to tear into him, feel him beneath him, but this was Alec's night no matter how much the Prince tried to make it about Magnus.

"Please.." Alec begged rising to his knees and reaching out to brush his fingers over the other man's shoulders. "I'm ready," He settled against Magnus again wrapping his arms around his hips and brushing a kiss to his jaw. It was intoxicating and when Magnus inhaled the sweet musty scent of the Young Lord his eyes rolled back. "Just.." Alec's voice shook like his shoulders, and when he pulled back to meet the catlike eyes of his lover , and his own reflected the light of the candles still flickering throughout the room. His hands went up the other man's legs while he worried his own bottom lip between his teeth as his shy nature took over, "Go slow? Be gentle?"

On the side of the bed, the nightstand presented silver bottles of Arabic nature with lantern like designs that were filled with expensive imported oils, and Magnus could not help but smile wondering how Alec ever got the nerve to even buy it. His Prince had put so much effort into this night, that no matter how unworthy of it he felt, it was beyond flattering. His heart changed on this night, and he would keep the truth a secret, but Magnus already counted down the minutes until he would run and confess to Camille—he couldn't go through with it.

"Alexander.." Magnus purred in a smooth whisper as he lifted the chin of the Young Lord, "I cherish you, and I'll cherish every part of you." _Are you sure?_

_Yes_

Magnus drew his fingers with a slow smooth motion over Alec's untouched skin, before one last whisper was presented, "Lay down." Alec did as he was told, rolling to his stomach to stretch out over the smooth expensive sheets. He felt the warmth of his heart leave as Magnus moved from the bed to cross the floor to pick through the imported oils to ease his Prince into manhood. The labels were in a language he did not understand, but the rose scented one would win.

Upon his return Alec had closed his eyes living blissfully in the moment, and Magnus's breath caught in his chest as he felt his knees grow weak, as his Angel appeared so innocent surrounded by the pure white bedding painted a rich gold from the light of the candles. The contrast of his black hair against the pristine white was so beautiful, but when Alec opened his pale colored eyes again to smile back at him he thanked God again for the second time that week. He was so beautiful.

_Like waves to the shore, part of the ocean. The stars high above, part of the sky._

Pressing back down into the bed with Alec was half the battle, knowing what was to come next a victory in its own right, but he knew there was little pleasure in the first time. The oil would help, and the teasing nature of his fingers over Alec's skin would take the tension, and distract him long enough to ease the nerves. Magnus could feel Alec's body tighten as he sucked in breath with the first finger sinking slowly with the rose scented oil, and he held his own weight on one elbow while his fingers laced with Alec's before he continued. Alec held his hand so tight his knuckles turned white.

"Alexander," He purred tenderly, "You have to relax." Easier said then done, but he felt his lover's body pulse under him in a shiver of anticipation, and slowly relax. Half of Alec's face was buried into the pillows and he watched for any sign of too much—of true pain, the deep hurtful kind that would make him hate him in the end. He could tell Alec understood this was not about his own personal pleasure, but this was the ultimate offer one man could make to the other. He knew his Prince not to be a fool, this was not like in every book, and he was not going to instantly adjust. His body was innocent, and when Magnus positioned his manhood over the throbbing opening of his lover he knew well it would be a slow process. "Take a deep breath, Baby. I won't hurt you."

Alec's shoulders tensed up when he pressed from the sheets to position his body on his arms, and his flat stomach tightened against the surface below. He sucked in a breath through gritted teeth as slowly inch by inch Magnus joined his body to his own. It hurt, but there was pleasure in the pain.

"Alec..open up to me, and just breathe." He kissed the jawline of his Prince before going as far as he could before he filled Alec up completely, "If it hurts too much we can stop." Though there was a threat behind his words that wasn't to Alec's advantage for his own body betrayed him with the desire for a release, and he feared for Alec's refusal, not certain if he could comply.

"No," Alec panted as he turned a look over his shoulder and pressed his forehead against Magnus's cheek to keep as close as possible. "I want this..it..doesn't always hurt right?" He breathed in a sigh of pleasure as Magnus started to pull out as slow as his descent, and his eyes closed again while Magnus's free hand came brush his fingers down Alec's cheek.

"No baby, it..god." It was his turn to pant words that seemed to be lost with his passion, and the slowness of his motions was almost enough to push him over the edge. "Doesn't… Alec." He breathed the young man's name as the tip of his throbbing head sank again, and through his gritted teeth a moan escaped. "Its..so..good." He felt Alec relax under him, and lived in the light of his glistening skin as their heated bodies set a rhythm. Slowly the pain started to ease as he adjusted, and in the sounds of his lover's sighs Alec could find his own pleasure. He loved the way Magnus kept close, and his own body bucked against each thrust. He loved the way he felt Magnus lose himself in his love, and felt as close to this man as any one could ever get. This felt so right.

"Alec..I." Magnus could feel his release like an ache in his body starting where their bodies met and flooding through the rest of him like lightning through his veins. "I.." He pumped faster to Alec's demand, and soon they were a fiery mess together until white light flashed behind his catlike eyes as he spilled inside the Prince in a final full thrust that emptied his passion, but filled his heart. With a final collapse against the broad shoulders of his love, he felt as though he would cry with such happiness. Magnus tried to hold his weight but it was his body's turn to tremble, and shake with his orgasm. He could hardly even think with the way the love he felt for his Prince clouded his mind, and caused all judgment to flee his thoughts. He fell beside the Prince with his bowed, and heavy even breaths tried to make it all right.

"Alec I…I love you." The words fell from the Dark Knights lips before he could stop them, but he knew it to be the true way his heart felt. It amazed him at how natural it seemed to say them now to this man, as he had never before. _I love music, I love dancing, I love the ocean_ but never. _I. Love. You._ Magnus couldn't have stopped them, he couldn't pretend anymore, and when he finally opened his eyes again after the world spiraled from him, he met Alec's wide bright eyes that reflected how surprised he was.

Alec didn't want him to take them back, but he was very prepared to allow Magnus the chance. He couldn't mean them ..could he? Yet..there was nothing about the calm warm amber of Magnus's eyes that spoke otherwise. He meant it, and wasn't afraid to reap the consequences of them—he was fearless, and Alec admired this the most about him. He could tell that Magnus waited for Alec to either push him away or to understand, but he couldn't move. He should say them back? But did he mean it? He knew he felt something, but was it love? Alec wouldn't say anything, he couldn't, but he did close the distance between them and curled against the other man's chest. He pressed his cheek against Magnus's chest.

"I.." Alec started his eyes still wide open despite how he felt Magnus relax beneath him, and the events of the night slowly pulling him down into his dreams. It wouldn't be long before he listened to the heartbeat of his lover slow, and his breaths even out. Magnus had left him only to join him in his dreams, and had never felt so secure and happy in all his life. However, it would be a good long while before Alec would join him, but not too long before he would lift his face to watch Magnus while he slept. Finally he brushed back a raven strand of Magnus's hair from his eyes and trailed the backs of his fingers over his cheek before he whispered, "I love you too…"

In dreams—he would join his lover again.

* * *

_Text Message 12:24a.m__**. Izzy**__: Where r u?_

_Text Message 12:24a.m__**. Izzy**__: Get u some? Lolz Call me_

_Missed Call 1:00a.m . __** Izzy**_

_Missed Call 1:23a.m . __** Izzy**_

_Text Message 1:24a.m__**. Izzy**__: 911 911 I rly need 2 tlk to u. I'm rly freakd out. Plz Call._

_Missed Call 2:00a.m . __** Izzy**_

_Missed Call 2:21a.m . __** Izzy**_

_Missed Call 2:22a.m . __** Izzy**_

_Missed Call 2:23a.m. __** Izzy**_

_Text Message 2:24a.m__**. Izzy**__: Where r u?_

_Missed Call 2:25a.m. __** Izzy**_

_Missed Call 2:26a.m. __**Izzy**_

_Missed Call 2:26a.m. __**Izzy**_

_Missed Call 2:26a.m. __**Izzy**_

_Text Message 3:00a.m__**. Izzy:**__ Alec, please come home. I'm scared. Hodge has gone crazy._

_Text Message 3:03a.m__**. Izzy: **__He tried to kill me. _

_Missed Call 3:26a.m. __** Izzy**_

_Missed Call 3:27a.m. __** Izzy**_

_Missed Call 3:28a.m. __** Izzy**_

_Missed Call 3:29a.m. __** Izzy**_

_Text Message 3:30a.m__**. Izzy:**__ Alec. Please call me. Where r u? They can't find Hodge. He He ran off, and the police can't find him. I still feel him here. I can't explain it, but I can't escape it. I'm going to go to the city._

_Missed Call 3:39a.m. __** Izzy**_

_Missed Call 3:40a.m. __** Izzy**_

_Missed Call 3:41a.m. __** Izzy**_

_Missed Call 3:42a.m. __** Grandma's**_

_Missed Call 3:43a.m. __** Grandma's**_

_Text Message 3:43a.m__**. Izzy: **__None of the cars are working. Plz come get me. _

_Text Message 3:44a.m__**. Izzy: **__ALEC! Where r u? Someone cut the power._

_Missed Call 3:45a.m. __** Izzy**_

___Missed Call 3:46a.m. _**__****Grandma's**

_____Missed Call 3:47a.m. _**__****__****Grandma's**

_______Missed Call 3:48a.m. _**__****__****__****Grandma's**

_________Missed Call 3:49a.m. _**__****__****__****__****Grandma's**  


_Text Message 5:15a.m__**. Izzy: **__I love you, don't forget that._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: This chapter is short only because I wanted to get it out for Kuro-15's birthday, and this chapter is dedicated to her! So..**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY KURO-15!**

**The lovely birthday girl is also working on a painting from Chapter 6. Your Altar of Strengths:**

_**Magnus touched Alec's shoulder lightly in the same place that Hodge had assaulted that morning, and clasped the other firmly in his hand to turn him to face the destruction; where the sun still touched, and before Alec could pull away he continued, "Look, Lightwood. Look out on that. Tell me what you see..tell me now, that you have found nothing." The last word was a hiss.**_

**Find her link on my profile she rocks. I'm very very very very flattered to everyone who has done some art or been inspired by this story. It means sooo much to me, and just..wow. There are no words.**

**I do hate to inform you this shall be the last happy chapter for a very very very long time, so I hope you review to keep me going! I has a lot to tear down now, and have BIG plans to do so.**

**p.s. It was also Miss Kitty Bane's birthday!**

**Happy Birthday Kitty!**

**=^.^=**


	15. 14 I'll Believe It Was Only A Dream

**Chapter 14. In Time I'll believe It Was Only A Dream**

Walking barefoot on the shore

Hypnotized by the ocean roaring

Thoughts of you drifting in and out

Never fails to calm me down

I still see your eyes when light hits the water

And I've never seen a color so beautiful

So blue... Ocean blue

I keep moving to the distant sounds

And visions of you drifting in and out

Clouds mixing with the sand and the sea

Sounds get carried on the ocean breeze

I still hear your voice from across the horizon

And wasn't that you walking into the shadows?

In time I'll believe it was just and illusion

In time I'll believe it was only a dream

I still see your eyes when light hits the water

And I've never seen a color so beautiful

I still hear your voice from across the horizon

And wasn't that you walking into the shadows?

In time I'll believe it was just and illusion

In time I'll believe it was only a dream

Till then I will breathe you in from the ocean

And walk with the waves rolling under my feet

_~Just A Dream, by Delerium_

**D**reams are nothing but the minds way of slipping into the realm of reality-the captivating reality that didn't exist in real life, and the sort that always seemed so far out of reach.

Magnus so very rarely dreamed, and it made his wakeful state question the existence of truth. Who were they to say his day light was not the false reality? That when he fell asleep he really woke up? All his life he had been so careful with letting his mind wonder where it was not welcome—he didn't belong to this world; never to this one, always the next. However, somewhere in the midst of the early morning the pale light of dawn spilled over the bedding, and he had to pray he would not wake—this had to be a dream. Every time he opened his eyes, Magnus belonged, right beside where his lover slept, and intertwined with his love.

The light that outlined Alec's body was painted in the careful pale blue of the early morning. The golden yellow still too far away from the horizon, and for once Magnus was thankful the night was taking its time fading. Alec's gentle even breaths caused the broad expanse of his chest to rise and fall, and Magnus felt as though he could capture his very essence simply by skimming his hand over the warm surface of his skin. This was the most relaxed, and the most safe he had felt in many years. The Dark Knight wished for morning to never come.

Alec slept soundly, with his pale lips parted allowing the sweet scented minty breath to escape in slow even exchanges, and every so often his lips would twitch in teasing flutters. His dark lashes were so beautiful against the porcelain skin of his fine sculpted features, and his black hair curled around his face having dried long ago. It really was torture to not wake him, and allow this peace to remain settled upon elegant features. Even in his rest Magnus wanted to dream that somewhere Alec was thinking of him too, and his desire felt hot again as he started to recall their night together. However it was when he brushed his fingers over the exposed skin of the Young Lord that Alec made a quiet soft sound.

"Are you dreaming of me, Alexander?" Magnus felt his heart swell when Alec responded to his touch, and the whisper caused Alec to turn his face away. His body still responded, but somewhere in his dreams those loving careful touches changed. Slowly Magnus brought his lips to kiss over the place where Alec's heart beat beneath his chest, and would miss the way Alec's face paled. He would miss how his chest heaved a shaken breath, and how his fingers tightened their hold upon the sheets. Slowly the careful tips of the Dark Knights fingers traced the hard lines of his chest, wanting to beg Alec to wake, and wanting so much to hear the Prince cry out his name.

_No._

Somewhere in his dreams Alec responded, and the gentle loving hands of his lover were replaced with harsher broken fingers of a calloused aged soldier. In his blackened state the sky was a dark overshadowing gray that seemed a sorrowing space where all he could do was panic. Endless empty roads that all lead to the same place caused Alec's nightmare to only feel more real.

'_No.' Hodge's hands continued their assault; while his rough calloused fingertips dug his nails into the smooth flesh of his back. His pale skin darkened under the older man's hands, and turned an ugly remorse color that seemed as dead as Hodge's eyes. 'Please..don't.' Long spidery fingers that were ashen in color and smelled of all the world burning beneath them._

"Alec.." Magnus breathed realizing the change instantly in his love. Alec turned his still dreaming face back to where the pale light finally outlined the pain, and he quickly sat up. "Alexander. Wake up."

"_Please," _Alec cried then, fighting against the other man's hold while crystal tears pooled in his eyes as he fought against the arms that loved him while dreaming them another's. In his dream he couldn't breathe, searching for air that never came from the hands that closed around his neck, but in reality there was only the calm soothing gentle hands that loved him. "_Don't..please." _Slowly, Magnus made his way to his knees, to lean over his love with careful hands coming to cup Alec's shoulders.

"Baby.." He spoke gently, but the sturdy strength in his voice broke through those horrid dreams, and Alec opened his eyes in a rush. "There you are, blue eyes. Welcome back." Magnus soothed brushing his fingers worriedly through the black silken strands of his hair. The concern in the Dark Knight's eyes warmed all the cold that had captured him, and Alec eased his tense state as he sat up.

"I'm sorry, I.." He was confused, but the world started to slowly come together again as he tried to steady his breathing. "I was dreaming." Alec lifted his pale blue eyes to meet the wide concerned almost shocked cat like amber of his lover, and pulled a lazy smile up, "I'm fine."

"That was not fine. That was a very real, a very scary dream Alex." Magnus tried not to sound as if he was scolding him, but he was beyond finished dancing around the subject. "Does it have something to do with the man who hit you?" A bold question caused him to curl his legs beneath him as he watched Alec struggle with the truth.

"I never told you a man hit me."

"You never told me he didn't either, Alexander, don't you dare turn this around right now. Look at you. That is a very real, and a very deep fear." With that Alec gave Magnus a dark look before pressing from the bed in a hateful manner.

"It was just a dream," Alec hissed when he passed, but Magnus wouldn't follow him. He knew that look, the way Alec closed up. He was reminded of the youthful son of Lightwood, and how powerful storm clouds threatened behind his eyes like that once before. This was Alec's biggest problem, the way he bottled his fears, and held his rage inside with no release.

How could he ever tell Alec the truth? It would kill him. How could he tell him that the night just before this one, he was sent to remove the heart of his beloved Prince to feed his wolves? A twisted take on fairy tales brought them here with two worlds coming together, but Magnus feared greatly—for he was not the only one collecting bounty on the heart of a Lightwood.

The sun started to rise then as if being the one thing to possibly break the silence, and the room filled with the warm golden glow. The rain held its distant memory on the horizon but Magnus watched as even the few sparse clouds finally faded over the hills. He listened to Alec start the shower, and suddenly felt as if he were forgotten. Was he not welcome anymore? Discarded, he doubted Alec would understand, but it hurt.

_Why should he care, Magnus? Once you tell him the truth.._

The thoughts felt so dirty, and his sudden break in character had caused him to rethink his entire existence. There was so much that needed to happen, and now in the warm bed half forgotten Magnus realized that maybe he had made a mistake. Alec couldn't love him, not when he would learn the truth. He was such a child still, and perhaps this cold shoulder was just his way of fighting his fear. Magnus would have just left, but his clothes were where Lightwood closed off from the world.

Gathering the sheet he wrapped the pristine white around his hips to make his way towards the bathroom door, and pressed his hand against the fine oak as he listened to the water fall around Lightwood's body beyond the room. The water he could tell was as hot as it could go as the clouds of steam puffed through the cracks in the door, and he couldn't take it any longer. He pressed through the entrance , and could hardly make out the outline of the Prince through the heavily fogged glass. All Magnus could see of the young man was the beautiful lines of his backside as he stood away from the door, with his attention gone, and his eyes closed allowing the water to run over him.

Slowly Mangus worked his way to where the oversized tub was to gather up his things, and ignored the sound of the glass door as it opened. He tried then to ignore the sounds of the drops of water hitting against the marble floor, and naked bare feet padding closer. Magnus would try to pretend he was startled that Alec was now just above him, but smiled warmly when Alec took his hand.

"I'm sorry." Alec spoke quietly looking so beautiful there, and as his tight skin pulled over his muscles from the cold he would shiver lightly. He turned on his step to pull Magnus towards the shower that was waiting, like a separate castle all its own it was as beautiful as the pool.

"Alec I," His mouth protested, as he stance remained solid, not wanting to take advantage of his weakened state.

"No. Just take my apology and join me? I'm cold, and I need you." Alec sounded so desperate as he stood there. He was trying to bottle it all up again, as he always did, but when Magnus still stood his ground he continued. "I'm not ready to talk about it, Magnus, I don't want to think about it. I'll tell you when I'm ready ok? Please don't deny me you." Suddenly his blue eyes were as pale as the morning light as they finally opened and the pleading light in them begged him to understand. "Not now."

_Please don't deny me.._

How could he?

Magnus followed his Young Lord to the shower.

* * *

**T**he hospital lights always reminded Maryse Lightwood of her childhood, how they had rushed her far too often due to her miserable mistakes as a child. She was always into something she shouldn't, be it climbing too high in trees or digging where proper little girls should never venture. It was not until her son was born did she ever find anything so comforting about the blinding white of the walls, or the way the lights bathed his newborn skin a beautiful gold.

_A son.._

Now. Her heart shivered, and through the flashing lights of the constant cameras she ran without ever looking back. Through the automatic doors and into the protective wing of the security that traveled with her, Maryse could hardly think.

"Where is she?" She cried, to the man in the long white coat that waited for her, "Where is my baby?" Only a mother could ever feel this pain she was certain, but the unknowing look upon the doctor's face brought her knees together as her heart gave out. She would quickly shadow him as he tried to explain to her what happened, but all that went in through the constant turning shell of her ear was that Isabelle was alive. She was ok; her baby was ok, but barely.

Through the trauma ward they lead the most controversial mother who was never a constant in either of her children's life, but an ever-faithful face to the public. She had written countless books, and turned countless covers in an attempt to free society of their imperfect ways.

Maryse was as beautiful as Isabelle, with a face that was as defined as Alec's. Her hair was cut short in a black bob that fell in long angles around her face, and everything about her attire went together in pristine fashion. She even now past her prime was the very image of what a woman should be like, she was modern yet sophisticated with a complicated mess of a mind atop her shoulders. She was never cut out to be a parent, but even now she could only be a mother. Her husband Robert had never been around, always too busy in his own life to ever be with his family, but far too formal to ever leave them officially. He had let what he married into rocket his own career, and even now only communicated through a series of texts or the even more rare call.

_I'll be there soon._

His last text he had sent over three hours ago when Maryse had first gotten the news of the break in. Vandals that had cut the power and cut her beautiful daughter leaving a solid straight line down the front of Isabelle's face.

"She has many stitches and will carry permanent scars that perhaps can be removed in time." With the right amount of money anything could be done to a person's body, "She is very beaten, and we believe there are signs of sexual assault." Isabelle slept then as they spoke around her, sedated to make her forget the pain, and she would miss how her mother held her hand.

"Signs?" Maryse could hardly make out the word, and didn't really wish to hear the rest; when the doctor went on about the tearing of her vaginal wall and the dark bruises around her neck she broke out into sobs, "Where is my son?" Broken her black liner ran down her face as she looked from the Doctor to the Nurse, "Has anyone seen my son?" The nurse on hand promised she would find out, and was given the contact information to find England's best kept secret.

* * *

"**U**gh…, Magnus more…" Alec panted his cry echoing against the glass, and carrying down the marble hall as his lover held his body up against the smooth stone of the bathroom wall. "Please.." He begged, "Don't stop." It surprised Magnus how vocal his lover had become, but it only moved him further. He loved the way he pleaded and moaned beneath him. He also loved the way…

The cell phone on the floor rang again. Damn it.

By the pile of discarded clothes it started to vibrate so hard the shell spun in circles, and the quiet faint ringtone was almost missed. Alec turned his head to the side to only have his neck assaulted with warm passionate kisses; Magnus's attempt to keep his attention from the phone.

"Leave it." In a hoarse voice he whispered, hungry with his own desire, and knew he would break if Alec pulled away now. The tone died and Alec returned his face to kiss his love again. Chest to chest their hands explored hot steaming skin that seemed to never get over what it was to discover their bodies again and again. Magnus continued to run his palm up and down the long hard length of the Seat-holder, until Alec's eyes closed again, and he….

The phone again.

Magnus damn near wanted to throw it out the window, but still he continued. However, Alec's eyes adverted again and Magnus let out a low growl, "Don't you dare answer that.."

"Its.." Alec brought is hands up to press on Magnus's chest already starting with an apologetic look in his eyes as he looked between the phone and his love. It was painful to pull away."I'm sorry," That shy little boy look that drove Magnus crazy passed over his beautiful features as he stood on his tip toes to kiss Magnus's cheek, "Its my mother's ringtone."

_I'll be right back. _

Pulling the oversized towel around him he made his way wet towards where the phone was waiting and sure enough his mother's picture flashed across the screen. It felt so strange to see it, and Alec couldn't think of the last time she had called. It had been so long since the fight had started, and it made him a nervous wreck to even answer.

"Hello? Mom?"

There was something in the way Alec was wrapped in the towel on his knees that reminded Magnus at how much younger he really was. The wet drops of water that rain down his dripping strands of hair didn't help with keeping them from his eyes, and when Alec spoke in that quiet voice of his to his mother, Magnus couldn't help but feel like a dirty little secret—he truly didn't mind.

"What?" Alec paled, and all around him Magnus could see the sky was falling as they were both brought back down."When?" Panicked worried eyes lifted to Magnus, as Alec fell the rest of the way to his knees. "Where is she?" Alec asked though it was Magnus who quickly started to look around for a clock.

7:45am. It wasn't time yet. Camille promised to wait until eleven.

"I'll be right there." The phone closed and Alec who knew he should be running for his clothes; who should be running for the door, couldn't move. He could hardly raise his face from the phone that he now discovered had much activity from the night before. "I..My sister. I have to go. Magnus, I'm sorry." Like a flash of light it all changed and he stood to find his jeans.

"What happened?" Magnus asked carefully and turned off the water to trail in behind the wake of hurricane Lightwood who pulled on his shirt before even drying his skin. Alec wasn't going to answer him, and he could tell it wasn't because he didn't want to. Alec's mind was simply gone with the love of his baby sister. Trailing in behind him didn't help, but Magnus stopped at the door to what seemed to be a huge studio. He watched as Alec rummaged around for clothes in a panic.

Magnus's breath was stolen at the beautiful works of art, and would have loved to have spent more time. However, Alec buzzed by him once again and the chase was on.

"Someone broke into the estate last night and tried to kill Isabelle." Alec admitted all at once so shaken his hands that tried to work off the key to the suite. "I have to go, here. Take this." He handed Magnus the key, that despite the code to the elevator could get him in. "How..do I get ahold of you?" Alec asked still fighting with the key and looked between them for a moment before he nearly broke the key off.

"Its complicated." Magnus started in a low voice as he pressed against the frame of the doorway, "You really can't, and its not a very good idea." This would cause Alec's face to lift to Magnus with a bit of anger. "Alec..don't, I've got much to tell you. Now hardly seems the time, but.." He could feel Alec's heartbreak and knew he would be a selfish bastard if he tried to explain it all now, "What about tonight? Here?" Now it was his turn to seem so pathetic in love, despite his more direct approach to life.

"I'll have to go back to the estate. One of us has to be there." In his words Magnus could hear how afraid he was of it, how it startled him into admitting the truth, even without a single world escaping him, but Magnus wasn't ready to give up yet.

"Leave a candle in your window. Wait for me there. I'll find my way in." He touched Alec's face and the young man smiled lightly at best he could.

"Promise?" Alec asked once more pressing into embrace his love, and Magnus would press a kiss to him one last time.

"I promise." Their lips met softly and this kiss despite its gentle nature was the most passionate one they had ever shared.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So I know it's been a while, and this isn't the best chapter. I just want to keep you interested, and apologize for my life has been wild. It's my time with my daughter, and work has been wild. This weekend is looking pretty nuts as well, but I hope to sit down and give you a beautiful chapter. Inspiration has been hard so please review. You want these chapters I promise! I just need motivation to write them. (Hard to do with a 6 year old around, lol) I'll try and update twice this week, maybe even three times if I get enough reviews.**

**I know I'm a whore. Thanks!**


	16. 15 The Story of My Maker

**Chapter 15. The Story of My Maker**

It was me on that road

But you couldn't see me

Too many lights out, but nowhere near here

It was me on that road

Still you couldn't see me

And then flash lights and explosions

Road's are getting nearer

We cover distance, but not together

I am the storm and I am the wonder

And the flashlights, nightmares

And sudden explosions

I don't know what more to ask for

I was given just one wish

It's about you and the sun

A morning run

The story of my maker

What I have and what I ache for

I've got a golden ear

I cut and I spear

But what else is there?

Roads and getting nearer

We cover distance, still not together

If I am the storm, if I am the wonder

Will I have flashlights, nightmares

And sudden explosion?

There's no room where I can go and

You've got secrets too

I don't know what more to ask for

I was given just one wish

(Why)

_~What Else Is There? By Röyksopp_

_**S**__he is ok, Alec..she is a survivor like you. _His mother's words filtered in through the hum of the hospital around them, but all Alec could think of was how sweet Isabelle's hands felt—how small they were when he took one into his own.

The entire fleeting moments of the ride over Alec had not once realized he was in fact moving; drifting through the river of people, and careless as to how he got there. All he could think of was getting to his sister, and when he finally found his way to her room the overwhelming feeling of defeat washed upon like waves upon the shore.

Isabelle looked so small there within her bed, her black hair wet from where they had washed the blood away, and the bandages just as clean as the sheets. Her gown was an ivory white pristine and pressed like fine white silk that mirrored color of the pale side of the moon. The bright florescent lights gave her skin an ethereal glow, and for this he was thankful as he could make out the life force that thrummed through her like the medicines that rushed through her IV.

"She hasn't been awake much, they have her sedated so that she can rest. Even in her dreams she suffers." Maryse touched the shoulder of her son for what felt like the first time, and was surprised at how much he had grown.

Alec had always been a thin child, but the boy beneath her fingers had become a man. She missed him dearly, and was surprised when she felt his shoulder's tense beneath her touch.

"The staff is trying to figure out how the man got in, there wasn't any sign of a break in or anything out of place, Alec you should stay away from the Estate."

Alec only half listened to his mother, the woman who had given him life, but now he couldn't bring himself to even think of what had happened to his sister. Beneath her porcelain skin he could see the ugly black marks where the blue blood surfaced, but what really struck him was the perfect handprint around her throat that gave it all away. He knew that hand.

"Alex..talk to me." His mother whispered sounding as if she were hurt her son had said nothing to her, but in truth she was a stranger to him—always had been. Finally when he parted his eyes from his sister to raise them in preparation for the words to come to his mother, her phone would sound, and she would sigh away from him.

_This is why I never talk to you.._

Alec could only stand to watch her flip through her phone for a second before he went back to Isabelle, who was still so peaceful sleeping there in her drug induced coma.

"Now he's not coming at all." Maryse sighed with anger throwing her phone back into her purse, "Your father is the biggest waste, his daughter..and he can't even leave..!" Her anger boiled into silence, that same strange awkward silence that Alec had known all his life, but now it was his turn to break it; his grandmother had always done so before.

_Maryse..not in front of the children….._but, they were not children anymore.

"Why_ should_ he care? He's not our father." The brutal winterthey had all just come from, had nothing on the cold bitter sounds that came from the son of Lightwood. "When you married him he took on our name, but I was already born and Isabelle was on the way." Finally, he would look back to the woman who gave birth to him, and marveled in the shock that struck her silent. The truth was an ugly bitch, and Maryse wore it well, she always did.

"_Where.."_ She gasped, "Did you ever hear such a thing?" Fine painted fingernails touched at the place over her breast where her heart couldn't move, and the diamonds that glittered there reflected over her face.

"Grandma did." He admitted so swiftly rolling his shoulders back to prepare for this fight. "She told me everything right before she died, it's the reason she took custody of us when we were young. It's the reason she wrote you all out, because all that title was to you was a meal ticket, and it's why Robert married you. Now he doesn't get anything, he's suddenly not interested. No _father _would ever do that to their true children." Alec stood then still holding his sister's hand, but he was beyond ready to square away with this woman who had only ever left him. "You couldn't stand the life, and you left us. Hodge was the one who pushed you to him. How many times have I had to watch you walk away, drive away in your stupid cars, and not even look back? All because your selfish heart couldn't live with the truth."

"That's enough!" She barked like a vicious dog whose teeth were bleached a perfect white, "How dare you make such an allegation Alexander. You have NO IDEA what you are talking about!"

"No? If I don't then why would someone do something like this to Isabelle?" Ooooooooh his anger BURNED, "Why is it that the King is dead and the press is breathing down MY neck? I know damn well what I'm talking about, and I'm not a fool. The only thing I don't know is who my real father is, but I have a pretty damn good clue." He breathed heavily as he seethed through his anger, and his blue eyes burned with the electricity of a thousand volts, and the impossible heat of the hottest flame, "Its someone important; someone _damn_ important enough to pull any sort of record of my real birth away. Did you know, Mother, that even my birth corticated was fabricated? They inks don't match. The hospital holds no record of my birth, and you can't even stand to look at me. I have his eyes. I know who it is, but I want you to tell me. I deserve that much. We," He motioned to Isabelle as he still held her hand, "Deserve the truth."

"I never wanted him to!" Maryse finally broke, standing there showing her age suddenly with lines deep and hateful under her eyes; even her mouth that was pulled into a frown seemed to age within seconds, and the red lipstick cracked. "I didn't ask for him. Alexander, everything that we were doing was a mistake. He was married, but she couldn't bare him an heir. To a King..thats all that matters." Tears came then, and they burned through the layers of foundation that it took to keep her beauty. The flower of Neverfield, had started to wilt many years ago, but somewhere in her vibrant youth she had managed to enchant a King.

_**

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_**March 13**__**th**_

_**T**__oday we declared war on the streets, and not the streets that had once belonged to us. We bring our fire to the surface of the faces that control this country. With their King dead, the chaos will only continue. The people look for a figure to turn to, but soon they will all be gone._

_I'm sorry, Alec, That I never got the chance to tell you how much you brought my dead heart back to life. For every soul I take, I die a little more each time, and on this day..There will be nothing left for you. _

_You deserve better._

_~M_

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**E**xplosions rocketed through the streets, from the underground where wire had been drawn out like red lines on a map. Rigged from the inside out the stone streets started to collapse, as fire burst in centered explosions from the ground up, and pushing everything rooted out from beneath. Cars parked there before cast iron fences found themselves thrown like toys, but there weren't any signs of a lost little boy's laughter—only the screams of the dying. Screams could hardly be made out between the explosions were drowned out by the gargling of blood, and the sidewalks blushed red from the common soon turned black from the fire.

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"_**A **__terrorists attack today on London's Regent Park, left hundreds dead, and thousands without homes. There is nothing left of the historic district, but officers continue to search for survivors. The fires still burn without control and citizens living around the surrounding area are being forced to evacuate. This day has been noted one of the most devastating disasters since the world wars. May God Have Mercy, and let us pray the worst is over."_

"_**The **__string of assassinations has continued this morning with the news of the Lord Hatter found dead in his hotel after being evacuated from the attack on Regent Park, he is one of three found dead within the past 24 hours."_

"_**This **__just in, Lord Chamberlain was found strung from the ceiling fan of his condo in the city this afternoon, and is one of seven seat holders now dead. Every force is out on patrol. Official word is that all surviving seat holders are to be kept under close watch, and being lifted as we speak to secure locations."_

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**A**lec in all his life had never watched his mother cry, he had never witnessed any sort of break in her divine beauty, and even now with her make-up running down her face with the open sobs, she was still beautiful. It broke his heart,as all the harsh guilt she kept alive came rushing forward. It was very clear to him that she had suffered from this entire thing all her life, and when he took her into his arms he forgave her.

"I-I'm, so-sorry, Alex. I'm sorry I failed you. I-I just couldn't live with myself." She sobbed on her son's shoulders and just as Aileen had rocked him as a child he slowly swayed with her and only tightened his hold. Both of their eyes were closed, and the flicker in the power was missed. The hospital was far from where the attack started, but the news wouldn't be far behind.

"Its ok, I understand. I just wanted the truth." He whispered, and Maryse gave a pathetic sob before she moved to sit beside Isabelle. She could no longer feel her face it was numb with her cries, but when she took up Isabelle's hand she felt the very warmth of God as a new day was starting all over again. She was going to change; her children needed her more then ever. Her Prince and Princess, where about to be forced into the public eye even more so then they ever were before.

Suddenly, Alec felt the room so small with the truth, but growing again with the love of his family. It wasn't until the news of the attacks finally made their way into Isabelle's suite did the worry spread over Maryse's face.

"You can't go home tonight, Alec you will have to stay here. If the truth got out right now..those horrid terrorists would kill you too. Please." Her words were worried as many started to filter in then to go over plans for security.

"Mom, I have to go and you know it. It will just be tonight. I'll get what I can, and return. The Estate has to be protected, and with the power out who knows what can happen." Alec's words were tried and true, spoken like a trueborn heir to the crown, and Maryse only smiled with the warmth of the man he had become. He was born to be a great King.

Many well-trained armed guards who, a thousand years ago, stood by the royals in coat of arms fashioned of sturdy strong iron, stood now in suits of black with weapons of equal proportions beneath their breast pockets. Maryse knew Alec was in good hands, and knew well that the secret he was protecting at Neverfield was one that had to be well guarded—for now. They couldn't leave it there, but more so then fine family riches, and deep dark secrets, Alec wanted to be with his grandmother. He couldn't stand the thought of vultures able to simply do as they pleased to her beloved home. Plus, Magnus had promised to meet him at sundown, and he would need him more then ever.

_Put a candle in your window, and I'll find my way to you._

_

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**A/N: These next few chapters are going to come at you pretty fast, and be a bit shorter because they are so full of action, drama, angst, and adult themes. So fair warning. The biggest reason I wanted to keep them a bit shorter is so that it's easier to keep up with. I could easily throw it all in one big huge chapter, but then something important might be missed. **

**Think Magnus will make it tonight after killing so many? Or will someone else answer that candle in the window?**

**Review and find out! It gets it faster!**

**Ha! ^.^ Love you all!**

**p.s. I have some more killer art to share, as soon as my Jedi-mind trick works and a deviant account gets made. Mwhahahahaha.**

**p.p.s. If anyone has an LJ, aim, twitter, or tumblr let me know I'm a social addict-and would love the support/follow you**


	17. 16 I Move the Stars for No One

**Chapter 16. I Move the Stars for No One**

How you turned my world, you precious thing

You starve and near exhaust me

Everything I've done, I've done for you

I move the stars for no one

You've run so long

You've run so far

Your eyes can be so cruel

Just as I can be so cruel

Though I do believe in you

Yes I do

Live without the sunlight

Love without your heartbeat

I, I can't live within you

I can't live within you

_~Within You, David Bowie (Labyrinth)_

**B**eauty, was always in its most rare form when destruction found its way into the world, and nothing could ever compare to skyline this night. The city streets burned as whips of white flames scorched the sides of monumental estates, and raced through the upper side of Regent Park. Magnus, could not take his eyes off the death, as if he could relate to the hell on earth. Never, had he expected to watch the city burn from atop his throne of crumbling stone, but now it couldn't be taken back—this was the future, and would someday be the historic event that changed it all. How could he not live in the moment.

This was only the beginning..

Spring winds only spread the fire faster, and with it the smoke painted the sky black—the sun angry, still burning behind the thick dark clouds. Standing there alone atop the hillside watching the streets Magnus finally took the time to remove the stolen phone from his breast pocket. Alec had never noticed when he set it down, that the Dark Knight had cleared it from the counter, but there was reason behind his slight of hand. Always was. He knew he would not be able to meet him, and wanted to call Alec and tell him the truth. He would tell him he loved him—then the truth, and warn him of what was to come. Isabelle's number was on speed dial, someone would have to answer. Wouldn't they? He couldn't do it; couldn't kill his Prince.

Alec had not closed all the messages on his phone before he had simply discarded it to race out the door, but Magnus didn't have time to finish reading them either before he felt the cold dead hands of the devil's daughter brush over his shoulder.

"Well, well..again, here you are. Late as usual," Camille purred as she crossed the space to where Magnus watched in his solitude, and the glint in her dark eyes pulled the truth from him once more. Still her ruby red painted nails came to press against his chest, and Satan's smile to stain her lips like blood, "You.." She started before he could pull away, and at the same time pressed her breast against his chest as she leaned in to smell his hair, "Smell like flowers..innocent white ones that turn red when plucked." A metaphor for the passionate sex he had clearly had the night before, but one that did not even get a rise from him. Instead he let his hand fall with the phone inside it, and quickly slipped it to his pocket to keep it from her.

Camille was cold and heartless, a viper in her own right, and the fiercest creature he had ever known. Countless men came to their knees for a single look, and offered their heart as well their soul to call her their own for a single night; she played the part well, and the money earned from the trade had been collecting in hidden places all over the city. It was their emergency fund, but even when the times were tough it was hardly ever touched.

Today was a day of new birth, but still they both wore black—she just wore it better. Her thigh high black leather boots were a trade mark, like a second skin the tight fit of her dress wasn't much different, but the one true thing that made her stand out was the pale color of her hair—practically glowing the color so white. The whips and chains that adorned her body were simply for protection, but her true weapon had always been the double-edged blade that ran the length of her spine. When her father had killed Abigail, she had in turn stolen from him his heart, and fed it to the hounds that he starved at the estate. An eye for an eye, a heart for a heart, and one life for another, Camille had mounted her father's head on the banner poll for the crows.

There was nothing about her anymore that was human, and the pleasure she got from the suffering of another at times had made Magnus feel a bit uneasy. However, in this moment all he could concentrate on was the burning skyline, and of the fate he had put his love in. Camille then came to stand beside him, second in command, but more the warrior princess then he could ever be. She folded her hands behind her back and squared her stance beside his own as she continued,

"Soon our little rebellion will have them all, our collection complete. Of course, plans change with the Princess locked away. It means our Prince will be watched heavily, and might make it a bit difficult for Mr. Starkweather to finish what he was paid to do." She spoke it all so easy in a monotone voice that hardly cared at all for the outcome; this was vengeance to her, for never being good enough.

Still, her companion said nothing.

"_Think_ of it Magnus, I bet he's even beautiful when he bleeds. Those bright blue eyes would still shine even as his life fades. Do you think he will scream? No.." She breathed, "He's far too proud for that." Camille's words made his chest tighten around his heart, and he felt as though he could hardly stand. Magnus closed his eyes for fear of falling, and in a quiet breath he whispered.

"Stop it." He hissed as his hand came to his chest as if to keep his heart together, forcing it back in his chest, and a flood of emotions filled his eyes with unshed tears that threatened to burn the entire way down. He would turn away from her, eclipsing the light with his tall frame, but Camille reached out to stop him. Something in her gentle touch brought him to a standstill, and he would raise his eyes to meet her own—uncaring if she saw him crying.

Everything about Camille's face had changed, softened somehow as she studied him with wide knowing eyes, "I'm sorry." She started still holding on his sleeve, "I just had to be sure." It was then he would finally snap with the rage causing his tears to fall.

"Sure of _what_, Camille? Sure that my heart really is breaking, or sure to twist your knife in it a bit further?" Magnus never openly cried before, and his teeth clenched with his jaw tight to try and fight the tears back, but his knees were weak as his heart was broken. What could she possibly have wanted that wasn't there before? He was falling to pieces, but his love was pure.

"That you really did love him, Magnus." she started in a quiet voice, "Because, I just spent our entire savings on sparing his life." She sounded so sure of herself, though doubt lived in her words if anything was worth watching him cry, he knew she wasn't lying. He had never looked so pitiful in their entire lives together, but finally when the words registered he questioned her with his cat-like eyes. Her answer would come as sweetly as falling rain. "I paid him off, with all the money that we had. I couldn't go back on the contract unless I did. Hodge won't touch him, and he's to take him to the bay where a ship will wait to have him escorted from the country. He will be safe there. He may hate you for what you have done, but at least he will be alive."

The winds of destruction brushed long fingers through Camille's hair, and the little rays of light that broke from the heavy dark clouds painted her something like a saint in this moment. Never, had he ever known her to have such compassion in her eyes, nor for her ruby red lips to be so relaxed; as if she understood-they were both human with their hearts on the line, and Magnus really did love him, like she had once loved Abby.

Her truth closed the distance between them and she ran her hands through his hair marveling at how handsome she almost forgot he was. With his hair fixed, eyes outlined in black, and the faintest hint of his old fashions she could see him coming to life again. In their youth they had always known they were different-she was never lady enough, and he painted his eyes. Really, it was funny how the fates brought them together, and even as he ran the back of his hand over his wet cheek she smirked.

"Pull yourself together, Bane, or we won't win this." Her jest heaved with her heavy breasts and she held out the blade to the Dark Knight to which he took with the faintest hint of a smile.

_Thank you.._

_You know I love you._

Their unspoken words would soon be forgotten as the battle would begin, and the riots filled the city red with their vengeance.

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**A/N: Remember, these chapters are going to come fast and be shorter. I would expect the other one tonight as long as my plans still work out fine.**


	18. 17 Not a Stranger Not a Ghost

**WARNING**

**-This chapter contains mature adult content that is not for the weak of heart. **

**If you are offended by abuse please skip this one. **

**You will get what happens in the next.-**

* * *

**Chapter 17. Not a Stranger Not a Ghost**

You can't see my eyes

You can't see my eyes

They don't see yours

Hear me when I say

They don't mind at all

It's the rain that I hear coming

Not a stranger or a ghost

It's the quiet of a storm approaching

That I fear the most

It's the pain that I hear coming

The slightest crystal tear, drops to the ground

In silence, when my love is near.

Darling, when did you fall? When was it over?

Darling when? When did you fall? When was it over?

It's marching through my door now

The stony cold of lonesome

A bell tolls for my heart and then my lonesome song begins

It's marching through my door now

The stony cold of lonesome

A bell tolls for my heart and now my lonesome song begins

Darling, when did you cry? I couldn't hear you

Darling when? When did you cry? I couldn't hear you…

I suppose it is the price of falling in love

I suppose it is the price of falling in love

It's the rain that I hear coming

Not a stranger, not a ghost

Of the quiet of a storm approaching

That I fear the most

It's the pain that I hear coming

The slightest crystal tear drops to the ground

In silence when my love is near

It's marching through my door now the stony cold of lonesome

A bell tolls for my heart and now my lonesome song will end

Darling when did we fall? When was it over?

Darling when? When did we fall? When was it over?

I suppose it is the price of falling in love.

_~Delerium_

_**L**ight a candle in the window, Alec._

He promised, Magnus had promised so much in that simple little moment that when Alec lit the candle he felt as though his heart could understand the warm glowing light that came to life. The soft golden light reflected off the formal dresser and radiated through the room from the large mirror that held his reflection. It masked his face like golden yellow silk, and lit up his pale pink lips to where their endless smile could radiate. Alec basked in the glory of it all.

Finally, alone Alec took a moment to reflect on the day and despite everything that had happened with Isabelle he couldn't keep the warm afterglow of the night before from his mind. Every second he could, he would think back of those beautiful hands, at how they touched him-touched his heart. He couldn't help but imagine Magnus' lips as the memory of them brushed his skin, but most of all he couldn't let go of the feeling at how safe he felt in the other man's arms.

All evening he had counted down the minutes until the night would fall, and even though the news was ablaze with the riots in the streets he didn't worry. Somewhere in his soul he believed in Magnus, he knew he was safe, and knew he would come for him. He would take him from this hell, and love him like he had always wanted. It might have been a silly dream, but it was all he had ever wanted.

Alec would leave the large pillar candle in the windows that overlooked the road, and was thankful the draft from the open doors of the balcony caused it to flicker like a beacon in the night. In retrospect of everything around him, and with all that was admitted to him Alec felt very much like the royal blood he was born into. It surprised him at how right it felt to be home again, but it also made him wonder through the past. Had his grandmother ever known about his mother? He found it hard to believe she would ever allow such a thing to happen, but politics were a dangerous game that she often didn't dwell in. Far too often was she criticized for spending too much time in her garden, and even now with the spring offering its first flowering he thought of her fondly as he moved onto her balcony that overlooked her precious roses.

The events from last night rattled the staff of the estate and many of them were given leave to go home, but the most remained—ever loyal to the royal family. They tended to their duties like faithful servants, and vowed to protect the Young Prince at all cost. They were all family here, and would not leave the son of Neverfield in his most desperate hour.

The halls were aligned with arm guards, suited in black, while the grounds were monitored constantly. Alec felt very secure, even now standing out in the open in the moon white silk of his night attire he felt safe. The night air was cold against his exposed bare chest from the open white silk of his shirt, and chills chased all the way down beneath the hem of the pants that hung too low on his hips. The large sleeves that often billowed past his fingers were rolled back over his wrists, and the contrast of it against the black of his hair was flawless. The air still held a mild chill caused him to close his arms over his chest, but still he watched for his lover.

_Its too soon.._He kept telling himself,_ He hasn't had time to get here._ All the while, Alec watched the shadows in the trees longing for him while thinking back on the night before, and using the memories to keep him warm. It was so easy to be lost in the thoughts, and It wasn't until a man cleared his throat at the doorway would Alec be forced to break from his thoughts.

"Master Lightwood, Good evening." The man stood eye level with Alec, and the decorated fabric of his overcoat made certain to flaunt his rank. The large red badge and golden cords presented the Lord General who had always been a showoff, "Or should I say Your Highness?" A coy smirk pulled over the face as Alec laughed as he shook his head and held up his hands.

"Jace, please, none of that. Not yet." It was good to see his old friend, brother really, Jace had lived with them for years before he left to join the service. Madame Lightwood had always thought of him another grandchild, and adopted him in under the family crest when his own parents were killed. He had belonged to the Waylands of Regent Park, and though they held little title their death had caused the nation to grieve. Their trust funds had offered their son a living, but Jace was far too proud to ever allow it. He was in every way shape or form the embodiment of a soldier, and served the country proud. He had spent many years now in His Majesties Service, and was one of the first to hear of the announcement to be made.

"After tomorrow, Alec, the whole world will be calling you that. You might as well get used to it." He opened his arms to take his friend in, and gave a firm hand to the other man's back as he smiled. Heavy warm calloused hands took Alec by other arms carefully as if to reassure the Prince he was here now, and he wouldn't let anything hurt him. "Are you ready?"

"I can't even think about it right now." Alec admitted with a smile, wanting to exhale again knowing at least he'd always have Jace, because he was certain nothing could ever kill him. They had grown up together, and often told the schoolyard children they were brothers even though Alec had black as night hair, and Jace the pale golden color of the sun. "Its all still a shock to me."

"I've always known," Of course he did, he knew everything (duh), "You were far too protected growing up, and far too sheltered. I'm surprised when they let you go to the city for school. You had to be something important." With that he let go of Alec as he noticed his attention still went to the shadows of the trees, and Jace touched his shoulder gently, "You know I'm not going anywhere right? You don't have to be afraid. Nothing out in that tree is going to get you." Alec gave him a look to kill. _Please. _Jace threw his hands up,

"Hey don't give me that look, you are the one by noon tomorrow is going to have the entire world watching every move you make for the rest of your life. Then on top of that you'll forced to _rule _a country, Alexander. Don't tell me you are not even nervous..I know better, and I know you better, see.." He took Alec's wrist and held it up to show him his own nails, "You've bitten them off." Alec laughed and pulled away not wanting Jace to take away the memory of Magnus's hands that had held his wrists gently while he loved him.

"I was stuck in the room with my mother all day, my sister was almost killed, and I'm about to be crowned, you would do the same." His eyes once again went out to the estate's grounds longing for even a sign of Magnus. "It has left me exhausted." Turning his face back to Jace he would try and flash him his most pitiful face in an attempt to rid himself of his childhood friend. He felt guilty, but he knew Magnus wouldn't come out if there was another. Jace was beautiful enough to pass for perfection, and he didn't want to be caught alone with him.

"Well, you get some rest. I've got men everywhere. No one can get in and out of without a fight from us." _Magnus could. _"And I'm sure you know the drill, but just in case you can't leave this room without calling for one of us. No one will bother you while you sleep, but ring the bell if you need anything, _Your Majesty."_ Jace couldn't help but pull the last tease in before he turned to leave.

Alec wanted to throw the potted flowers at him, but would only laugh lightly as the door was shut. Of course, his thoughts would travel back to where his lover could be, and his cheeks started to burn with how much he had been smiling.

This… felt.. so.. _right._

_

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_

**T**he battle continued well into the night, and by the time police enforcements got there it was far too late. Magnus and his army of the Underground had destroyed nearly every home, painting large letters in the ash of the destroyed homes that spelled out Freedom. This was the world's message of just the beginning, and now with the historic district destroyed they could take on bigger tasks.

Guns fired upon the shadows, hitting many of his companions, but the lives that fell here tonight were only part of something greater. It hurt Magnus everytime he would have to walk from a fallen member of his court, but someone was never far behind to collect the body as they retreated into the darkness. All the way into the shelter of the Underground their celebration continued, with blood stained hands, and ash covered faces. It was not until the body of one of the children was covered with the jacket of his father did Magnus realize that not all was won tonight. Death still hurt, no matter how bravely the battle was fought.

_What was he doing?_ The question would go unanswered as Camille came in behind him with the blood of officers still upon her blade, and her lips the very same color. She brushed against him like a cat in heat, and it was clear she somehow got off on all this destruction.

"A body count." He barked at her, moving to look over the sick who were only brushed with bullets, or burned by flames. Already the few medics they had would start to work on the ones that were hurt the worst until they would make their way down the line.

"Twenty," Camille spoke soberly, and with a big sigh she turned her head to Magnus, "Twenty Seven." She watched the disappointment fill his eyes, and the amber light of his cat like eyes would burn with magic that was still not understood. "If you were planning on slipping out to see your lover, Magnus. I would think otherwise. This." She hissed, "Is more important."

She was right, but still he was disappointed. They had been victorious in the burning, but now where did he go? He wanted to run to Alec who he figured to be worried by now, and show him that he wasn't a disappointment. He doubted after missing their date Alec would ever speak to him again, but he would try. Tomorrow he would take him roses, white ones—painted red.

He was King here, and wouldn't rest until all his subjects were accounted for—the dead buried, and their security confirmed. His love will have to wait until morning when his world finally went to sleep.

* * *

_It's the rain that I hear coming_

_Not a stranger, not a ghost_

_Of the quiet of a storm approaching_

_That I fear the most_

_It's the pain that I hear coming_

**T**ime slipped by minute by minute and the bright burning flame lingered lazily nestled inside the ivory pillar. Alec had watched it melt away hour by hour until his eyes burned with the sleep that would not come. His hope was fading like that flame, and the disappointment was all that went to bed with him. Still it burned, the candle in the window, but he gave up long ago.

_Maybe.._

Maybe he was caught by the fires, or was helping put them out. Maybe he was being a hero to a world that did not want him. No…The truth was painful, and he became very aware that perhaps he didn't mean as much to Magnus as he thought. He was stupid to ever believe in such a thing, but he was told everything he wanted to hear. Everything. But wasn't that how that worked?

Alec had slipped under the covers long before the candle burned half way, and now the cool spring night shifted over the sheets of his bed calming his disappointment like a lullaby. The trees swaying in the wind with the careful loving sounds of the birds were forgotten when Big Ben chimed its midnight hour, and Alec turned his face into the pillows with a sigh—giving up.

_One.._

_Two…_

The clock tower struck one cord from the next, for all of England to hear, and the Great Bell had always been a comfort to him. It was the one and only constant thing that reminded him there was a world outside the estate—no matter how faint the sound of chiming bell was it was proof enough. The bell sounds always put him to sleep, and tonight they were no different as he started to drift..

_Three.._

All the lights had been turned down, save for that single candle, so Alec couldn't see the figure pressing from the passage at the wall, but the still careful steps caused his half dreaming state to want so badly to wake. If only his subconscious could wake as sudden as his body, but by now Alec was gone in a dreamless sleep.

_Four.._

_Five.._

_Magnus? _Alec dreamed it was his love, until the cold harsh hand came to quickly grasp his neck, and his dream became a nightmare in reality as the shock woke him up; like falling into an icy pool after being so warm, and the panic set in. He struggled against the hand that held him closing off the air that he would have taken in gasps. Alec had been upon his chest, and with his face pressed into the pillow he could not see his capture—but he knew. He had always known, and no one listened to him. Finally, darkness pooled around his eyes like oil on water and he could feel it swirling around him. His body went first, but his mind kept one thought.

_Magnus.._

There was nothing then. No pain. No sound. Only the dark black of his mind folding in on itself as Hodge finally had his Prince right where he wanted him.

A true master of the dark arts the ex war veteran knew well what would kill a man and what would not. His once brilliant mind studied the body's pressure points until he could keep a man alive just enough to cause the pain to break them. Alec had to be broken. Hodge knew well what the Young Prince was capable of, and to what he would have to break out of him. However, he would not kill Alec on this night. No, tonight was only for the purpose of another. His death would come in time.

In the past week alone Hodge watched Alec grow into the very thing that was dangerous to this world. He was just and right, and everything his grandmother had been—he would make a glorious King to the nation, but most of all he would destroy everything. He would stand for all the reasons that were a sin, and tear apart everything his years of service had worked for.

Long ago the reform raged on, and Hodge bled to keep out anyone that dare go against the bible. Muslims, Jews, Gays, and any one else who did not believe as they did were killed instantly. The rest of the world had once made an attempt to declare war on behalf of those lost, but with the natural resources drying up it was hard to even lend a handful of soldiers to a cause that was not their own. The only true threat was what history had often proven—was one voice to rise against them all, and say the right words..It would only be a matter of time before someone like Alec came along to clean it all up, but he would be damned if he was going to allow the closest thing he had to a son destroy his hard work.

Hours passed well into the early light of day before Alec would start to come around, and all he could feel was pain. The darkness remained as even his eyes hurt with the throbbing ache that pounded in his head. He could feel his hands bound, his face burning against the cold stone of somewhere he did not recognize, but most of all he could taste the iron of his blood that pooled in his dry mouth. Mentally feeling down his body he tried to will it to respond, but could feel the open wounds across his back, and the warm blood seeping around him—everything else was numb, until he was moved. It was then he could feel the steady thrusts of pain as he was taken from behind over and over again. He could feel the other man against him, thrusting his hardened state against him in such a manner that his entire body rocketed with the motion, but he was too weak to cry out. It hurt, and badly—but his pride was far too great to give anyone the benefit of knowing his pain. He tried to fight it, but it was useless. Even his heartbeat was weak, and this he could tell because he could feel it throbbing behind his eyes that burned with the blood from a blow to his head.

"Good morning," The sinister sound hissed at his ear as he was made aware Hodge knew he was awake, "You are just in time." Alec couldn't ask if he wanted to, his mouth was gagged with a rope that burned the corners of his lips, but as he felt the hot slimy seed of the other man spill out across his back he knew..in time for that. "I've covered you, all night." Alec parted his lips to realize there was more then just blood on his face. After a moment, Hodge slammed back inside the young lord who would whimper with what strength he had left, and his eyes threatened darkness again. "Still feel good, you sick bastard?" Hodge only spoke truth with that name...he really was a bastard to the King, but the only answer fell in the single tear that rolled down his cheek before he lost consciousness again.

_The slightest crystal tear drops to the ground_

_In silence when my love is near_

_It's marching through my door now the stony cold of lonesome_

_A bell tolls for my heart and now my lonesome song will end..._

_~`,~~_

_

* * *

_

**A/N: That..was so..hard to write, but please tell me what you think? It motivates me, and I'm pretty scared you guys are going to hate me now ****–hides- This had to happen. It had to happen because it will make the story thicker, and better. Trust me..its not done. Do you think Alec's suffering will end here? Magnus will rush in and save him?**

**The answer is no. Sadly. It can go two ways. Alec's life depends on your reviews, ladies and gents! Get on it! He NEEEEEDS you!**

**Mwhahahahaha**

**p.s. Please go check out the new link I added to my profile for some AWESOME art that Kiyori-chan did for my story, and of her awesome other cool art!**


	19. 18 Flower Trembling on the Vine

**Warning: Adult Content Below**

(Please also read authors notes)

**Chapter 18. Flower Trembling on the Vine**

Morning smiles

Like the face of a newborn child,

Innocent, unknowing.

Winter's end

Promises of a long lost friend.

Speaks to me of comfort

But I fear

I have nothing to give.

I have so much to loose here in this lonely place.

Tangled up in your embrace

There's nothing I'd like better than to fall.

But I fear I have nothing to give.

Wind in time

Rapes the flower trembling on the vine

And nothing yields to shelter it from above.

The say temptation will destroy our love.

The never-ending hunger

But I fear

I have nothing to give

I have so much to loose here in this lonely place

Tangled up in our embrace

There's nothing I'd like better than to fall

But I fear I have nothing to give.

I have so much to loose.

I have nothing to give.

We have so much to lose...

_~Fear, Sarah McLachlan_

**A** thousand years and still the same, the dawn was always red. The sun for bitter end burned bright against the night as it chased away the darkness to reveal unto the world the truth of what was left behind. The death toll climbed to the hundreds, while children slept, their parents taken while their innocence remained protected, and for the first time since the great and terrible war it looked as if the favor of the Underground had finally come to pass.

This was a new dawn..but Alec could only feel the dark.

His body broken there upon the floor seemed as though there wasn't much left of the world outside, and he never welcomed the feeling of being alone like. The cold stone floor was pooled with the thick red-turned-black blood that had kept him drifting in and out of reality, and the pain that shot through his body let him know he was still alive.

_You bleed just to know you're alive._

The Young Prince would have been crowned today, with a glorious celebration to follow, but only the heavy ache and his blood-matted hair would adorn his forehead. His perfect pale skin innocent no longer, turned blue in places, and black in others while his chest could hardly rise with the pathetic breaths he took. There was no pain when he left his body, but when he came crashing back down, Alec couldn't breathe.

Hodge had long been gone, but the deep pitted memory haunted him. Everything was silent, and for this he was thankful as even the wheezing of his breath made his head ache. The only faint noise of any other form inside his prison was the constant dripping of water in the distance. The air was cold and stale, musty with the scent of the rich soil, and Alec figured he was underground. Yet, every time he tried to open his eyes the pain brought them closed again, and when his body shook with a violent cough he cried out rolling from his back to his side to spit back the blood that gathered on the back of his tongue.

All the strength he could muster still hardly turned him to his chest, and now the open gash at his back burned from the dirt that had filled it.

"_Do you think you are so smart now? Look at you..Say the right words..and it will all stop, Alec. Beg me to stop" Hodge hissed as he tied the hands of the Young Prince above his head, hanging him on a hook to where his back would be torn apart by the fiery tips of a red hot whip. The crack came down so fiercely against Alec's spine that he finally cried out with eyes opening wide, and the tears burning down his cheek. _

"_Stop! Please..Stop." He cried, shuttering in a breath to prepare for the next blow, and ashamed it had only taken one to break his silence, but he couldn't handle that anymore. It was then he looked around the room, watching as Hodge moved to put the whip back on the wall, and listened to him laugh. This had only been one of many tortures he had gone through, but the steel tip of the whip had finally been enough. Alec's pale blue eyes gave the room a once over while his backside burned with the fresh blood that seeped over his skin, and he was amazed at how many other bodies were left lifeless in such a small room. He was not the first to suffer that whip, and he doubted he would be the last. If only he could survive this..._

"_Say it again," Hodge spoke from behind Lightwood rolling his hand forward to clasp the heat of his sex, and curled his fingers around his length, "Beg me." Alec lowered his face and wanted so much to continue his silence, but he was well beyond his breaking point. _

"_Please..don't." Alec cried then shuttering as he did. Everything about him felt destroyed, and all the passion of his night before left with the blood on the floor. His body betrayed him in the clutches of evil, but he could find no pleasure. _

_"Again.." Hodge breathed against against Alec's ear, his hot stale breathe smelled of the decaying teeth inside his mouth, and it was then Alec wondered where the human inside Mr Starkweather had gone. _

_" Please," Alec's shoulders fell forward, and the blood stained black of his hair cast a shadow over his face, "Just..kill me." _

**N**othing about his body seemed to work right, but still he managed to pull himself to stand. Shaking first on wobbling legs, Alec used the side of the wall for support, and finally gave the room a once over. He was somewhere different now, and he was also dressed at best he could be with the white silk of his nightwear stained red. The shirt torn and tattered burned the open gash in his back, sticking to the wound only to pull apart with every motion.

Torn between whether to call out or remain silent, Alec thought he could make out a tunnel with the faintest hint of fresh air, but wasn't certain his unsteady legs would get him very far. There wasn't much that he could bring himself to do, but he needed to get out, run while he could though he doubted greatly Hodge had simply released him this easy. All Alec could do then was press the thought from his mind and make his way to where the morning would find him; if he could make it.

The light of the morning was so close, but his body refused to continue-no matter how badly he wanted to run at the sound of the footsteps coming towards him from the tunnel.

**A/N: Not that I'm disappointed in the last chapter, I just feel I rushed it a bit, and this one is a short follow up on that. I also have a HUGE favor to ask, and I want everyone to be SUPER honest with me.**

**How much longer do you want me to go? As in period—in the story. Because I have 2 ways to go now, after a bout of inspiration from something I read I think its going to be a bit longer then what I wanted. I could easily finish this story in 5 or so chapters, or I could probably do another 10-15.**

**I can't thank you all for your wonderful reviews, and I guess I'm a bit nervous you will get bored. So please be honest, and let me know?**

**Love you muches!**

**Also: Review will get you a snippet of next chapter as a thank you because I can't pass out candy over the internet. **


	20. 19 Of Imperturbable Serenity

**Chapter 19. Of Imperturbable Serenity**

_Thy shadow, Earth, from Pole to Central Sea, _

_Now steals along upon the Moon's meek shine _

_In even monochrome and curving line _

_Of imperturbable serenity._

_How shall I link such sun-cast symmetry _

_With the torn troubled form I know as thine,_

_That profile, placid as a brow divine, _

_With continents of moil and misery?_

_And can immense Mortality but throw _

_So small a shade, and Heaven's high human scheme _

_Be hemmed within the coasts yon arc implies?_

_Is such the stellar gauge of earthly show, _

_Nation at war with nation, brains that teem, _

_Heroes, and women fairer than the skies?_

**AT A LUNAR ECLIPSE**

_**By Thomas Hardy**_ (1840-1928)

**I**n and out of a dream the waves of reality carried Alexander, with hands that were cold yet kind. Poor circulation, he called it—from a body that was dying. A beautiful rare flower that had long since blossomed now wilted free from its bright and vibrate youth; a sacrifice long since forgotten. It was not his own, but the man who had stopped so suddenly at the sight of Alec hardly standing there. He was a well dressed boy, who couldn't hardly be over any older then twenty one, and over his shoulder a leather bag was slung; the strap crossing his chest. He was much shorter then his own long frame, with hair the color of the pale side of the moon, and eyes like distant grey clouds.

"It is alright.." The sweet gentle kind voice broke through the darkness as those cold hands reached out for him, and Alec felt himself unwilling to go any further. "I will not hurt you.. do not be afraid…" He spoke as if happening upon a lost lamb, wounded by the wolves. Where was his lion?

Alec hesitated, but was not afraid. He was simply unable. His heart was in shock from the blood that would never return, staining now the ground in which he covered. His body shook, the kind of shake that made even his bones ache with want of release, and the pain was unbearable. If he were able, he would beg for the end, beg to make it all go away, but Alec could see in the pale silver eyes of the man that there wasn't any chance he would let him fall.

"My friend," The youth spoke again, his words rich and delicately laced with a fluid accent of Eastern origin, and his thin slanted eyes smiled even with the concern written across his face, "I can help you." All Alec could think about was the pale color of his hair, and how silvery fine it must feel—and wondered how his savior came to be with such a palette; and the name he wanted to know. Yet all that passed before Lightwood then was his face that fell forward, and his legs that finally gave out. However, when he lapsed back out of reality the harsh pull of gravity never found him the ground, but in arms so strong it surprised him.

Those steps he had heard before belonged to something special; something sacred to the Underground, and a man who went by the name of—Jem.

Jian "Jem" Carstairs, who was also sometimes called James, had been of the Underground now for many years, and acted as the only medic many would ever see. His own studies in medicine were cut abruptly short with the diagnostics of his own illness, but he managed to keep it a secret up until his forth year. He was not far from gaining his red cross, and gaining his privileged title as physician when the news broke free of the disease that would someday kill him. It had been rumored for years he preferred the company of men, and he was often tortured in carefully placed jests even though they were very far from the truth. He was far too busy in his studies to properly court a young woman, and far too fine a gentleman to ever rid himself of those ugly rumors.

Jem had attended the same university Alec had, until the truth was discovered—his illness exposed, and he was accused of accusations that were not only bogus but also deadly. Officers had made arraignments to see him killed—for only the queer ever tested positive for such rare illness, and to this day the white coat the forth year students were given had the blood from where they tried. He had worked too hard for it, and should have been given his diploma. Instead was given no option other then to run away and never return. Now, he cherished the life he was given, he was respected and loved by everything unholy, yet still he kept his faith—in humanity—in the world. Despite everything that happened to him, Jem felt there was a higher purpose, and with it someday there would be the will to undo all the wrong. Little did he know he now carried it in his arms.

"You must hold on, my friend." _Stay with the sound of my voice. _Yet all Alec could hear was the gentle steady rhythm of the young man's heart as he raced with the Prince into the tunnels that would find him more lost then he ever was—yet found.

With the morning light casting beams through the cracked surface above, it lit the walls that were lined with glass bottles, some broken, some colored, yet all casting a brilliant display like sparkling stars. Where there was not sun, there was fire, torches shinning in the halls to light the way, and somewhere Alec swore he could hear a monastery singing praise to the new day.

Where was he?

"No. Keep your eyes open." The pale haired youth spoke again, stealing a glance down to the broken boy he carried, "You must not close your eyes." The sound caused Alec to almost smile sheepishly in desire to laugh at the hope that was clear in the other's voice, but all he could do was concentrate on how beautiful this man was.

_Tell me your name..all I need is your name. _Alec wanted to ask it so bad, as if knowing it would somehow give him an upper hand. _Tell me your name, and take me to my beloved. _It was no wonder the Rebellion King had found something unmistakably perfect in Alexander Lightwood, but had Magnus ever met this man? Even now his own insecurity set in, through his delirious state—he wouldn't want Magnus to see him like this, and not with such a beautiful stranger.

The tunnels swelled with the sound of running water, and through the dim light of the torches Alec could almost recognize the room that came next. He had been here before, the long winding staircase built into the wall was on the other side, and the cracked dance floor wasn't very far. He knew that above them was the stone angels of the graveyard, and they were beneath the tombs.

_Magnus..Take me to Magnus! _He tried so hard to make his mouth work, to cry out for the only person who could make this all ok, but all that escaped his cracked lips was a low deep sound in the back of his throat. Jem would be quick to whisper in a sweet careful voice of not wasting his strength, and Alec damn near left the world again when he felt his back touch the surface of the table.

"What the.." A new voice boomed from behind the bar, clearly annoyed with the blood that was smearing all over the wood," James! What are you doing!" The man closed the distance between he and the medic to look over what boy. Jem was already fast at work, ripping away what was left of Alec's shirt, and starting to examine what he could. The bag he carried was torn apart from the inside out as his instruments went to work. There was little time to worry of infection, nor such privilege to the right equipment, and with the battle of the night before there was little left. Yet..this boy was special.

"Please," Jem started with his lips holding the needle that would soon pump the Prince's veins with antibiotics, "Go get Magnus." He quickly turned his back on Alec to gather what water he knew to be there. The blood had to stop, but it was hard to even see where it was coming from with how dirty Alec was.

"Jem.."The man's face paled, but it wasn't from the blood, "Is that..Is that the Prince?" Before the bartender could get anything else out, Jem turned on him with a spark of electricity flashing in his eyes like lightning over his stormcloud colored eyes.

"_Gu__ǎ__n n__ǐ__ zìj__ǐ__ de shì!"_ _Mind your own business, _He hissed, and the bartender didn't know what to be more surprised by, the fact that Jem sounded so angry, or that the Chinese sounded so violent. Always by the fires at night, Jem told stories or sang songs of his homelands, ancient ones that even when spoken sounded like the sweet pull of fingers drawn over a harp. Whatever it was the barkeep moved quickly to do just as he was instructed.

"My friend, you must be still." Jem soothed again trying to still the struggle Alec put up with his fight, but how was he to know the horrid gash on his back that was the worst of Alec's bodily wounds. "Here, this will help you." The needle broke his skin again and this time the fluid that raced from it wasn't the sort that healed, but the sort that caused his mind to leave his body if only for a few hours. Finally, Alec no longer struggled, and Jem was given free reign over the broken body beneath him. Through all the years he had tended to every broken bone, and bloody display beneath the streets of London, it was nothing new to him. However, when he gently rolled Alec to his side still searching for the source of all the blood he could only gasp at the sight…

"_Wǒde tiān…" My god in heaven.._

**A/N: Soooo Jem eh? This chapter which is short, because its my week with my baby girl is dedicated to ****all of you**** first, but also a great fic by ****TheGreenBook ****called **_**This Frivolous Love**_**, which I highly recommend. Its not Malec, but Magnus is there. It's an Infernal Devices fic that is AMAZING! So Jem appearing in this is for ****TheGreenBook**** (even though he's a fav of mine too) I couldn't help it, plus the plot that will come…LADIES YOU ARE IN FOR IT! Find the link on my profile, as well as a link to how I picture Jem to be in this story as well as a teaser pic that will get your minds spinning…want to find out what happens next? Mwhahahaha, review baby review.(But trust me..I'm too weak to have an unhappy ending.) I'll have a teaser again with reviews, as I feel it's the only way I can properly thank you without cyber stalking you all and giving you cookies.**

**Sure would be nice..* turns toes in with big sparkle eyes* to get past 150 reviews. ^.^**

**Have a blessed rest of the week!**

******EDIT*******

**I so just realized I didn't put half the chapter in! I gave you guys the teaser last week, and left it out! No wonder it was so short. I'll either do another quick little one, or just make the next one extra long. Soooooooo sorry! I was just in the ZONE last night with ole' Jem, and forgot.**


	21. 20 Tears From the Moon

**Chapter 20 Tears From the Moon**

_Couldn't sleep so I went out walking_

_Thinking about you and hearing us talking_

_And all the things I should have said_

_Echo now, inside my head_

_I feel something falling from the sky_

_I'm so sad I made the angels cry_

_Tears from the moon_

_Fall down like rain_

_I reach for you_

_I reach in vain_

_Tears from the moon, tears from the moon_

_It just ain't fair this thing called loving_

_When one step there and the other feels nothing_

_I would have done anything for you_

_I still love you, baby I adore you_

_All day I keep from falling apart_

_But at night when the sky gets dark_

_Tears from the moon_

_Fall down like rain_

_I reach for you_

_I reach in vain_

_Stop, Stop haunting me_

_It should be easy_

_As easy as when you stopped wanting me_

_Tears from the moon_

_Fall down like rain_

_I reach for you_

_I reach in vain_

_Tears from the moon_

_Fall down like rain_

_but tears from the moon_

_can't wash away the pain_

_Tears from the moon, tears from the moon_

_Tears from the moon, tears from the moon_

_~Tears from the Moon by Conjure One_

_**The Past…**_

_**T**__here was a shift in the wind that autumn, when the leaves collected around the feet of students who pulled their sweaters closed to ward off the winter chill that was drawing closer each day. October in England was often the driest season, but even the endless days of sun could hardly welcome the feeling of the dread that followed the first signs of the bitter cold. The shadows beneath dirty boots started to grow longer, darker, from the golden sun that burned through what was left of the dying trees, but it was easy to find it beautiful. Alec loved this time of year and he often found himself beneath a large oak in the center yard of his school sketching the amber leaves one by one as they fell. _

_Always had he felt himself able to connect to the world around him better then he could the humans that walked it. It was hard to understand them, when they all walked in straight lines, and never strayed from their path. Gone were the days the courtyard was used for games, anything other then getting from one place to the next. Sports all had their place in life, but in light of the world wide war even the national past times were ignored, even if their politics were still in place. Alec never minded to be alone, in the company of trees; they were so rare anymore, in a world that never thought to plant another when they cut one down._

_Again the wind shifted and the sudden change in direction caused leaves of a deep rich red to chase each other as they outlined the breeze that brushed over the yard, and it was then Alec first saw him. The world with the wind brushed past this new face, and through the solid snow-white hair like fingers over the surface of a still pool, and it took Alec's breath. The youth was dressed in material natural to the earth, and pure red in color; silk dyed with safflower just as it had been done over a thousand years ago. The Chinese called the tunic like shirt a Duangua, and upon the back the symbol of perfect balance—right and wrong—good and evil, black against white. He wore the yin-yang like the peace that was represented against his flawless features, and with it the calm clear connection to the world around him reflected upon his face; the grace of each motion lived inside his storm cloud hues._

_Alec had once read that Tai chi chuan represented the fusion to the Yin and Yang, the mother that bore them both, and in this youth's motions Alec watched as the world connected with heaven. He could almost feel the energy of this man's life force flow from him with every graceful dance like motion as he practiced his meditational art. The motions were beautiful, and just as beautiful as the figure before him who suddenly became the subject of his sketch. Alec's fingers traced over the paper with lines as fluid as the graceful art, until even the image carried a real life of its own, but before he could begin another his subject was no longer before him. Forced out by men in uniform who often patrolled the university grounds for security, he could only make out the retreating form. Since when had spiritual meditation been a crime? It made his heart hurt, but as he started to look around for the mysterious figure all he could see was the advance of the center circle of the university; as if they were hunting for something. A group of boys laughed to themselves, and Alec could only roll his eyes as it seemed even now grown adults some never knew when it was over. They had called the security there, but why? _

_Weeks passed before he saw the white haired boy again, who by the looks of it could hardly be over nineteen, but Alec learned he was well advanced in his class. He was one of the top students, but no matter how many awards he won it could never settle the nasty rumor that even Alec, no matter how hard he tried, was starting to believe. _

_Jem very rarely attended anything social, and he sat alone during lunch. His dorm was not far from Alec's temporary suite, but they never ran into each other in the halls. He kept to himself, locked away each night alone until the morning came, and class would start. Alec could recognize his uniform as one of the medical students, and silently was proud of Jem's victory when given his white coat a year ahead of his class. He wasn't without reason to boast of his accomplishment, but Jem wore the medical cross on his sleeves with a humble pride. It wasn't until Alec's last week in the dorms did he ever hear another voice through the thin walls, and the concrete made it hard to understand what was being shouted. Jem was not alone._

_Alec moved to open his door to hear what sound did escape through the cracks under the door, but his heart jumped from his chest as Jem's door was flung open. A man much taller then both of them, with eyes as blue as his own, and hair the color of night pulsed down the hall in a heated fashion leaving Jem sobbing quietly behind the back of his hand in the doorframe. It was when Alec's eyes met Jem's did the other man press from his door and walked the short distance to the dorm's bathroom, the cries becoming coughs—violent ones, that Alec could not ignore. He followed in the wake of the retreating youth to find him bent over the sink before the grand mirror trying to choke back his tears in an attempt to calm his coughs. _

"_Are you alright? The young lord didn't know what to do, or what to say to make everything better. Yet still he took a few steps forward and slowly lifted his hand to touch the trembling shoulders of the other. "Here..let me help you."_

"_No." Jem stated firmly pulling away from Alec, "You must stay away." When Jem pulled his hand away the blood was so crimson against his white skin that it caused Alec to gasp. He was not cut, where had it come from? Jem quickly moved his hand to cover his mouth once more as another violent quake of coughs caused him to press his back against the wall for support. Alec didn't listen, and moved to help him, but the violence in Jem's words surprised him. "Stay away!" Jem screamed and Alec stopped, "You can't come near my blood." He cried the last words sinking along the wall until he his knees were able to be hugged to his chest, and now with his head between them Jem continued to sob. "Just..go." _

_Alec did as he was asked, but when the next day finally came he vowed to find the truth. He would help all he could, and wasn't about to allow the bullying continue. His morning classes went by so swiftly, that he didn't need to dodge out early to catch lunch, and when he finally made it to the dorms eating establishment he saw Jem just were he always had. He sat alone with his back to the rest, eating his bowl of honeyed chicken and reading up on his notes from the day before. Alec noticed that his color was much better then the night before, and he had that peace over his eyes again even if they seemed a bit worn. _

_Alec started to make his way to where Jem was seated, but was stopped as a few other figures approached. He recognized them from the student body council, one that he unfortunately had to be part of, and it shouldn't have surprised him to hear such violating words leave their lips.—but it did. In their hands they carried posters, and hung them conveniently right beside where Jem was reading. The bright vivid paint was done in red, and the text horrified Alec._

_**God kills fags with diseases incurable by man. God hates fags.**_

_The posters were meant to educate the student body, on sexual diseases that could be caught by either sex at any time. Yet somehow it was always the fault of those were born different, and it was clear to everyone around Jian 'Jem' Carstairs was just that. Alec watched as they pushed all of Jem's things in the floor, to clear the space for another poster, as if the entire empty wall beside him wasn't full enough with posters preaching hate in masks of 'educational purpose'. _

_Alec felt his eyesight fade with fury, and his blind rage did what Jem's pure nature would not. One of the boy's backs was thrown so harshly against the wall he suffered a breath, and pulled half the posters down as he slid to the floor. Then, Alec turned on the other with such a force the boy had not the time to react before a few of his teeth splattered along the cafeteria floor. Quickly, the stationed uniformed men pulled the young lord off the council member, but Alec tried to fight to be free so that he could finish the job. _

_Alec never saw Jem again after that day, and no one seemed to know where he went. It wasn't long after his grandmother pulled him from the dorms to put him up in the skyline apartment to be free from those horrid people, and in those last weeks of winter before she passed away she passed a law that would prohibit such posters to ever be displayed again._

_**

* * *

**_

_**Present Day…**_

_**H**__e shouldn't be here..he shouldn't be here. _

Worried, the Barkeep who now ran through the halls like some bat from hell to the great Oubliette that held the King.

The room was filled with those that suffered from the battle, and voices all spoke at once recalling tales of victory, and lamenting their loss. It was heartbreaking to witness, but with this came glorious hope for their better future.

"Magnus!" The man called out seeing Bane there with his protégé on the platform going over the large table map in plans of where to strike next. Behind them the wall of targets were almost all crossed out, and Alec's picture still remained—eyes burnt out by old stale cigarettes.

"We should move into central city, Magnus, and from there into the lower." Camille in her vibrant youth had been a gentle lover, but now all listened to her direction for she had become their warlord even when their King had not. "If we move in fast, and spread like fire we could have them washed out by tonight."

Magnus stood with his arms crossed over his chest, the blood and smoke still covering his skin, but he had not been harmed. With only his closest warriors around him, he kept his war counsel closed from the rest, but there were far too many injured to ever deem them anything more then simply rioters.

"It is only noon, Camille, and James has already gone on another run for supplies. We will at least have to wait until tomorrow night. I'm certain.." He stopped hearing his name, and a questioning brow rose to his companion who already watched the bartender from their club rush through the waters of the underground lake, as he was unable to break through the crowd.

"Magnus! The Prince!" He called again, as his voice echoed through the room and caused the entire lot of them to go still. Magnus still with his arms crossed gave the man a very dry look before he slid a sideways glance to the blonde at his side.

"I bet he's pissed." Magnus spoke under his breath to Camille, talking about Alec. They had plans to meet up the night before, and he wasn't able to ever contact him.

"I bet he's found out the truth, and you are destroying his city, Bane. He has good reason. I doubt he would come all the way down here just to be a bitch." She would slink from his side then, to go to the edge of the overlooking platform and called down to the man now soaked from his journey. "Tell him to return to his little world if he knows what's good for him." She had to keep a front for everyone where, who now watched in fear..did he come with soldiers? They were still safe? Were they not?

"I..I can't..Jem has him. Said you better come quick." This caused the entire room to murmur softly in question as to what their medic was doing with the enemy, but before Camille could even answer Magnus spoke up.

"Carstairs is in violation of our law. He knows he is not to speak to the enemy," Magnus hissed for good show, and the crowd that gathered all smiled reassured of their protection. Suddenly, the Barkeep was nervous as if he worried he had gotten Jem in trouble.

"Yo-You know how Jem is, he can't let someone die. He's too kind a soul to ever be a killer, Magnus, go easy on him. There was so much blood I doubt he knew it was the enemy." The last part was spoken a bit quieter as if somewhere even he had affections for Alec, but it wasn't hard to want this story to end in peace—Alec had never seemed like a bad guy when he had been to the club with Magnus.

"Blood?" Magnus's eyes grew wide with worry, still questioning the keep, and his entire being softened as he felt weak at the news. He took a step back and reached out his hand for something solid, something grounded, for he was about to fall; Camille took his hand.

"Yeah, someone got him good. Jem couldn't get him to the infirmary, said he wouldn't make it, he's got him on my bar." That brought an uproar to the world beneath, all of them furious that they were still suffering while Jian tried to help the undeserving? Ha.

"Go," Camille spoke quietly, her words that came next lost in the rise of the voices, "I'll deal with them." Magnus wouldn't have time to thank her before he was nothing but a shadow of a figure haunting the halls in blinding speed to get to his beloved.

Somewhere in the shuffle the few assistants Carstairs had, were already there working along side the youth. One of them had tied his hair back that fell past his shoulders, while the other raced around following the orders of the young doctor. They had moved everything off the bar and worked as if it were an operation table, but it was hardly enough. The blood was everywhere..

"He's gone into shock." Jem announced unknowing Magnus was there, and forced open one of Alec's eyes to see the color pale and very weak, "We have got to get this bleeding stopped." Alec's blood was up well past Jem's wrists, and despite having rolled his sleeves back, his shirt was still stained with the dark crimson. "Its mostly from his back, but watch for surges there.." Jem motioned for the slices over Alec's wrists where the ropes had torn into his skin.

Alec was on his chest, as Jem prepared the needles, the stitches would need be first to close the wound, but even he felt it too late; impossible to see where his skin started, and the blood ended. It wasn't until Jem felt a light touch to his shoulder did he look up, and see that his assistant had wanted to make him aware of Magnus there in the door, standing like some stone figure in the night.

"Don't you start on me now, Bane." Jem hardly cared he was standing there, and pointed a bloody finger at their leader. "I don't give a shit he's one of them. He was never mean to me in school. He stood up for me when no one else would. You can do what you damn well please with him, but you have no power over me, and you can't stop me." The two women that worked along side Jem had nearly lost their hearts with such words from the white haired youth. He was never like this, and never stood up for himself. He would give the shirt off his back to a total stranger, and even in the faces of his enemy would never let his anger show. Yet there was fierceness in Carstairs's silver eyes that had never been there before.

"James.." One of the sweet voices of his assistance spoke breaking the silence that fell between the two, and the worry in her large eyes reminded him of how dire the situation was, "His pulse is very weak. Even if we get the bleeding to stop, I'm afraid.." Her words were cut off by Jem's hands going back to his work, and he shouldered her to quiet her. He was not going to give up on the Prince without a fight, and as he felt the shadow of the dark knight approach he cared very little of his own life; this was about Alec. Magnus could kill him if he wanted, but he wasn't going down without a fight.

"Move." Magnus spoke like a drone, completely void of any emotion, and the young woman quickly moved from her place. Fear showed in her eyes as she worried between Alec and Jem, unknowing of what Magnus had planned.

"Magnus don't. I'm not going to let him die." Jem continued his work, but was surprised when he watched Magnus put his hands on the bare shoulders of the Prince. It startled Magnus at how cold Alec's flesh was, and when he seated himself, he lowered his lips to his beloved's ear.

"Alexander.." The whisper was warm against Alec's cold skin, but by now even Jem could feel the heat from Magnus's hands as he continued, "Don't you dare leave me." Alec's face was so still, but not the sort that made him appear at peace. No, even in his drug induced haze there was still pain, "Don't you think about leaving this world without me." The room pulsed as if somehow Magnus's heart connected with the weak beat of Alec's, and every time Alec's heart stopped he would start it all over again.

Jem felt his own heart race as he could almost see the flow of blood slowing, and was finally able to pierce the skin to seal it shut. He went quickly through the motions to stop the bleeding, and started to stitch it all shut. "Its stopped," Jem breathed, "But we have got to get him somewhere we can clean these wounds, our next biggest threat is infection." He spoke to his assistant who gave a small nod and started to gather up what supplies she could, and before he could even ask Magnus lifted Alec up gentler then he had ever known him to be with anything.

"My chambers.." His voice was pained, but it was the only place Magnus could think of that was private and fairly well kept. Jem gave a nod and started down another hall to gather up other things they would need, with one assistant on his heels while the other remained to walk with Mangus. She marveled at how light the young prince must be, for he didn't give any indication that it troubled him to carry the youth. Magnus held Alec tightly against his chest, and balanced his head to stay upright on his shoulder. When a small sound escaped Alec's pale lips, Magnus bit his own to keep from breaking, "Just hold on, darlin'. We're almost there."

**A/N: So this chapter is a MONSTER! I have to break it in two, but here is the first part. Now I have a few questions…**

**1. Thinking about doing a side sister fic to this, explaining what's going on with Jem, and how he got it. What do you think? I doubt it would be as big as this one, but more taking that flashback—rewinding, and leading up to it. How he got the Underground, and what made him leave school. What do you think?**

**2. Does anyone know of any Malec centered fic groups? If not, would anyone be willing to start one with me? We could do writing challenges, have a place for art, ect ect?**

**Also, I LOVE LOVE LOVE to read other fics, so please please please post a link to yours in your review. I'll happily read and review. **

**Thanks, and now I'm off to work on the second half, which won't take too much more, but I'm taking this entire day to catch up on chapters that way I can have a good bit come out this week to make up for the slow week. Sooooooo reviews get them faster!**

**^.^**


	22. 21 O Fortune Like the Moon

**Chapter 21. O Fortune Like the Moon**

Turn around and smell what you don't see

Close your eyes ... it is so clear

Here's the mirror, behind there is a screen

On both ways you can get in

Don't think twice before you listen to your heart

Follow the trace for a new start

What you need and everything you'll feel

Is just a question of the deal

In the eye of storm you'll see a lonely dove

The experience of survival is the key

To the gravity of love

"O Fortuna velut Luna"

"O Fortune like the Moon"

[Whispers]

[Woman :]

The path of excess leads to

The tower of Wisdom

[Man :]

The path of excess leads to

The tower of Wisdom

[Whispers]

Try to think about it ...

That's the chance to live your life and discover

What it is, what's the gravity of love

"O Fortuna velut Luna"

"O Fortune like the Moon"

Look around just people, can you hear their voice

Find the one who'll guide you to the limits of your choice

But if you're in the eye of storm

Just think of the lonely dove

The experience of survival is the key

To the gravity of love.

"O Fortuna velut Luna"

"O Fortune like the Moon"

_~Enigma, Gravity Of Love_

**T**hrough the catacombs of the secret passages that had once been the only means of escape in ancient wars, a sinister laughter could be heard through the stone halls, and his smile sickeningly plastered across his face.

"I am finished." Hodge spoke on the other end of the phone, his words like an exasperated sigh as he was beyond pleased with himself. Years and years he had waited for this moment; to feel the superior Lord, and to know what it was like to break such youth. Still he felt Alec against his body, crying out beneath him, begging him to stop, and still he could taste his defeat. Was it worth it? "Amazing, and I have no doubt he'll go right to where the enemy hides. He'll lead us right to them, and we shall once and for all be rid of the rebellion." It was a sinister plan, but he had planted perfectly watered seeds in the grounds of his betrayal that even now through the hides passages he could watch his plans grow.

A dismal haze blocked the pale light of the afternoon, and Neverfield felt like a tomb in horrid sorrow as the remnants of their beloved Prince was the only clue to his undoing. Somewhere in the night he had been stolen, taken like a child from their bed, and carried off into the oblivion. All through the estate they had searched for sings of life, clues to what had happened, but their hope was lost by the blood that stained the carpets—the single knife there upon the ground.

"It is the same knife that killed the King, General." A single foot soldier spoke to his leader, and was amazed at how well Jace held himself together. It was no secret the relationship his family had with that of the Lightwoods, and in truth they were all he had left. When the soldier handed Jace the knife he made it seem as though only pure raw hate welled up in his eyes as he clutched it to his chest, but the rest were not fools—they knew it be worry.

"I want this entire place searched, look for hidden rooms, places beyond the staircases" General Wayland was a mess with nerves as he barked his orders, his large golden eyes panicked with the thoughts of now losing Alec. Isabelle's life still dangled on the line, but at least he could breathe with knowing she was under careful watch. She had suffered this same fate, but her body had been recovered shortly after. "Get every team we have on this, and I don't want to hear one peep out of the media. We will kill everyone of those bastards." When all line of command was gone, the control of the militia went to the highest ranking officer, and Jace Wayland was the new face of His Majesties Service.

All around him men and women alike moved in a single force with their very beings desperate to find their beloved Prince, but it would not be long before word got out not only of his famed title—but also his sudden and threatening disappearance.

The world watched and waited with their hearts stopped inside their chest, and hope clinging to the dread that gathered in the back of her their minds. Their one hope for a brighter better tomorrow had just been stolen from them, and the entire world prayed for the return of Alexander Lightwood.

* * *

_Here's the mirror, behind there is a screen_

_On both ways you can get in_

_Don't think twice before you listen to your heart_

_Follow the trace for a new start_

**S**olitude had never ached as much as it did then nestled inside his chest, and Magnus would have given anything to see Alec open his eyes. Days had passed, each more agonizing then the last, and as the hours stretched on Magnus hardly left Alec's side.

One of the select few to have their own quarters, Magnus was given the biggest for the pain that came with his profession. He had been the first to discover the Underground Haven, and with it brought down worldly possessions that made it feel like home. The room had high ceilings with sheer fabric hung to break the chill, and heavy oil lanterns hung delicately on old chains that still held strung throughout the decades. The large stone walls held cut outs in places where candles flickered to fill up the void with a warm soft glow, and to bring warmth into such a cold damp place. The bed had been gift once, to a storybook queen with its large posts that acted as a fortress, and decadent furnishings that hardly ever got used. He had never been able to sleep here, and gave it up far too often to his counterpart who now spoke quietly to the medic just outside the hall.

"He loves him, Jian." Camille with her arms crossed over her chest pressed her back against the cold stone, "I have never seen anything like it, and it's a secret he's suffered for years."

Jem was standing there with a clean bowl of hot water steaming up from his hands like smoke, and clean white bandages folded over his arm. On the fold of his arm he carried a small basket with what he could find in the makeshift kitchens, and vowed to force Magnus to eat it.

"He will waste away to nothing if he does not eat soon, and I fear he has not slept." Jem's voice was a smooth beautiful sound with words that were as delicate as his frail fingers. He watched as Camille gave him a small warm smile, which was so strange to see upon her lips, but Jem found it beautiful still.

"Jem..look at him." She made a gesture with her eyes that caused the white haired youth to raise his silver eyes to where Magnus was stripped of his normal black attire, free from the confines of the leather, and as open to the world as his bare arms were. His hair was free and wild atop his hair, and the only remnants of the warlord were the black kohl, and glitter around his eyes; but even that was starting to fade. "You couldn't pry him from his side. He feels so guilty, and will blame himself for the rest of his life. I fear what would happen if the Prince did not pull from this. Now go..before the water gets cold."

Jem made a small sound as he finally pulled his eyes from the white wearing warlock, who spoke in a quiet gentle sound to his beloved, and met Camille's own. Did she question his ability? Ha. Still, he would say nothing, but bow his head politely to follow her order before he moved to walk on to the bed where Alec was resting now.

Magnus's head was pressed to the side of the bed, as his body ached from the same position—he had not once moved from that chair. However, despite how his face was lowered his, Jem noticed how tightly he held onto Alec's hand.

"Pardon me, M'lord." Jem's accent was beautiful, and like a breath of fresh air in his darkest hour, "But I need to change him." Magnus sat up as he sucked in a breath, as if he had been asleep, but nothing about him looked rested. Jem carefully set his supplies down on the bedside table and folded back the covers to let them rest low on Alec's hips, and he wondered when Magnus had dressed him.

Alec wore thin black cotton nightclothes that were a reminder of what he had come in with, but they were far too big. The fabric went well past his delicate fingers that were starting to fade from their ugly blue color, and return with the perfect pale complexion. All of his bruises were starting to look a little better, and there hadn't been any fever to indicate infection. Jem was very good at his work, and even with limited supplies he kept Alec's pain under control.

"He was shivering." Magnus spoke in a weak voice, as if he needed to explain why Alec had been dressed, but stopped Jem when he started to undo the buttons of the shirt. He took over, and stood as he did.

"It is the medicine. Sometimes it can make the body shake, which is a good sign." Jem closed his hands before him, folding them over his front to allow Magnus to tend to Alec's attire. He knew it to be his way of protecting him, and was thankful for the actions for it was the first time Magnus had ever even responded while he worked upon Alec. "Has he opened his eyes?" Jem asked hopeful as he unfolded his tools, and prepared to cut away the old bandages. Alec was on his back because he was having trouble breathing on his chest, but Jem still had him propped so that his back could heal.

"No, not yet." The answer was pitiful, but when Magnus sat back down Jem started to dip the clean cloth in the warm water to clean the wounds first at Alec's wrists.

"That is also a good sign, My Friend, it mean he is resting, and in that sleep he heals." The scabs around Alec's wrist started to wash away as he gently dabbed at them. "He will be very weak when he wakes, it is important to make sure he gains his strength." Magnus watched every move Jem made, and somewhere Jem wanted to remind his friend that he was not the enemy here—he would not hurt Alec on purpose. However, when Jem lifted Alec's chin to dress the thin line of that was no longer so ugly Alec whimpered, and caused Magnus to stand. Jem watched as Magnus clenched his fists, and slowly moved to dab at Alec's throat.

Magnus was distracted by Alec's hand that had tightened in his own, and he slowly turned it over to see the cut in its raw state without bandages, and without so much blood. "What caused this?" He asked the question, but wasn't sure he was ready for the answer.

"I believe rope, it is actually more burnt then exposed beneath. It looks worse then what it really is, but if we are careful it will hardly scar." It had been a comfort to confess, though Jem doubted it comforted Magnus to hear.

"And this?" Magnus couldn't breath when he asked of the angry red line that ran beneath Alec's jaw over his throat.

"_Look at me, you brat." Hodge's voice demanded as he stood there before the Prince who hung defeated by his bindings. Alec refused, and just hung their listless. Harsh ruthless fingers laced through his hair to force his face up over the naked form of his captor whose manhood pressed against Alec's closed lips, "Open your mouth." He demanded, but when Alec simply looked at him in his refusal Hodge pressed a hunter's knife to his throat._

"A blade, M'lord." Jem's moonlit hands dipped the cloth back into the steaming water, and the blood of the young prince turned the water a color Magnus would never forget, "It is also not as deep. I must get to his back.." Magnus sat forward to help lift Alec, and cradled him against his chest as Jem started to clean the stitches. He wanted to ask, he needed his speculation confirmed as if he wanted to be punished.

"But this?" Magnus cast a glance over Alec's back as he was still holding him. The cushions and bedding gave his body as much support as it could, but the horrid scowl Alec gave in his drug induced state made certain to tell how he was very much still in pain. The Underground King could hardly imagine how scarred Alec must have been, and already tore himself apart with the guilt, that was now blinded by the rage he bottled up.

"It appears to be some sort of lashing, Sir. A whip perhaps, but the cut is so deep that one more would have hit his spine. I.." Jem stopped his words when he caught sight of the only other man he had ever known to be completely void of any emotion. He watched as the tears started, and how he pressed his forehead against Alec's temple and finally openly sobbed.

"I'm so sorry, baby..." Magnus cried, "I should have been there." his words were almost missed as his shoulders sank with his defeat, but when Jem watched Magnus's fingers lace through Alec's hair he knew there was something there deeper then any knew. It was then Jem lifted his eyes unsure of what to do towards the figure in the door.

Camille propped against the stone frame of the large chamber, with tears of her own pooled in her eyes, urged Jem on. She loved Magnus at best she could, and it killed her to see him like this. However, as she would motion Jem to continue his work she turned down the hall with a promise to all she loved—she was going to find, Starkweather.

**A/N: Look at that! Two chapters in one day..well one chapter broke into two parts. PLEASE tell me what you think? It motivates me, and I'm off to work on the next! **

**Remember..Alec still doesn't know the truth. Think that's going to hurt worse then the whip? It would me.**

**Wonder whats going on with Isabelle...think Jace will find Alec? If so..what will happen when he does?**

**Mwhahahaha**


	23. 22 Thou Shall Not Fall

**Chapter 22. Thou Shall Not Fall **

Last fire will rise behind those eyes

Black house will rock, blind boys don't lie

Immortal fear, that voice so clear

Through broken walls, that scream I hear

Cry, little sister - Thou shall not fall

Come to your brother - Thou shall not die

Unchain me, sister - Thou shall not fear

Love is with your brother - Thou shall not kill

Blue masquerade, strangers look on

When will they learn this loneliness?

Temptation heat beats like a drum

Deep in your eyes, I will not lie

Little sister - Thou shall not fall

Come to your brother - Thou shall not die

Unchain me, sister - Thou shall not fear

Love is with your brother - Thou shall not kill

My Shangri-Las

I can't forget

Why you were mine

I need you now

Cry, little sister - Thou shall not fall

Come to your brother - Thou shall not die

Unchain me, sister - Thou shall not fear

Love is with your brother - Thou shall not kill

~Cry Little Sister, Aiden

(Watch this vid, its hot)

http:/www .youtube. com/watch?v=S_nJqwqsHac

**T**he darkness had set in now with the lanterns turned off for the night, and all humanity left with the reminder they were in fact underground. Nothing thrived here, without the sun, and far too often Magnus had felt himself disconnected from his soul, beneath the surface. He needed the warmth of the world outside, and evn the candles that were scattered over the room were hardly enough to cast light over the dark void of the floor. However, the one at Alec's bedside made it seem as though the cradle that held his Prince was suspended in the dark void, like drifting through the universe, the little candles like stars.

Magnus had finally broken down, and Jem had him escorted out to tend to his own body's needs. He did not fight, for he knew Jian to speak nothing but the truth, and what good was he to Alec's survival if he could not hold it together. While he was gone, Jian had washed Alec's hair, and washed his face so that some sort of familiarity returned to the young prince's features. He finally looked at peace there in the oversized bedding, with the covers drawn up around him, and finally they both were clean. Magnus had managed to muster enough will to eat, and Jem worried how long Alec had been without water. He knew that if Alec didn't wake within the next series of days they would need to break into a hospital and get what Jem would need for an IV…a dangerous task, that many have died for once before, but Jem was already working out a strategy.

Over the floor so black it billowed like smoke over his feet, Magnus moved to return to his seat beside his Prince, and once again took up his frail little hand hand. Still cold, he warmed Alec's fingers with his own, and brushed his thumb over his knuckles as he whispered little endearments to his slumbering beauty. It was a relief to see him so relaxed, so at peace, and though it was due to the drugs Magnus still was thankful. With his black hair brushed, still damp from the washing, he thought back of the memory of their night together. How, Alec had saved him in that moment brought his soul from hell.

"Alexander.." He whispered as he brushed his fingers through Alec's damp hair, "I don't know if you can hear me, but I want to tell you how sorry I am. For everything.." The truth unspoken still between them, and no matter how many times he tried Magnus simply hadn't the time to tell Alec. "There is so much you don't know about me, that I've not had the chance to tell you. I've wanted to Alec, you have to know that. I have loved you for as long as I can remember, even before I knew it was you." Words that were nothing, but the pure ache of his own betrayal should the truth surface; Magnus knew he would never get the chance to properly love Alec as he deserved, and he prayed that after this there would be a chance someone would.

For a man so strong, with a power so great he had never felt so weak. Tightly he would his fingers through Alec's hair, and pressed his forehead against the other's temple. "Please wake up," he sobbed, "Come back to me. Please.." his shoulders shook with his sobs until his closed eyes could cry no more, and there seated beside his Prince he gave in to the exhaustion.

Somewhere through his dreamless sleep Magnus heard voices in low whispers, like distant angels singing their praise. He felt the cool comforting hands brush back his hair and the careful light brush of thin gossamer fabric cover his bare shoulders. Yet still he did not wake- he could not wake. Here in his dreams he would not leave without Alec.

"I fear the antibiotics are not strong enough," Jem whispered on the other side of the prince while he ran his vitals, and cast a worried look over to Camille who drew a sheet over Magnus's shoulders as he slept. "It is low, but it is there..this fever." Soft heather grey eyes were the gentle force behind the growing storm, and Camille could read the worry from them like the fine careful lines of an old book. "It is not good." He sighed brushing the back of his fingers over Alec's cheek, and felt how truly warm he felt.

"Our luck has run out." Camille spoke very much the opposite of her counterpart. Where he was a seamless painting moved over the canvas with cool crisp water, she was the harsh lines in thick heavily pigmented oils, and painted with knives. He wore silk, she leather, and where Jem gave life-Camille ended it, but now it was her turn to sacrifice her soul for this Prince. "Starkweather has skipped town, the hospitals are on lockdown, and our numbers are few. Jian..is he worth it?" always the skeptical Camille squared her shoulders back like a soldier, and despite the six inch spikes she could get the job done. Jem would never doubt anything this beautiful creature possessed, her mind like a well rounded war council, constantly ready to break bones, but his answer to her question came with a gesture to where Magnus was holding Alec's hand even in his slumber.

"Then lets go."

* * *

**H**er sobs broke through the night, but Isabelle found a way to suffer through her guests. Each flower represented one more token of faith and good-will from a country that needed her, but she was only 18. She was hardly ready to be a queen, and all she could think about was how badly she wanted Alec to be ok. He always knew what to do, or what to say. Alec was always the one she turned to when things got rough, but now she turned to God to bring him back. Always in the night did she suffer the most, with sleep that would not come, and fears that returned in ten fold.

"The world is falling apart, Jace." she sniffles lightly as she spoke to the long time family friend, who was just as close to a brother as Alec on the phone, "Please keep looking, but be careful." Hodge's betrayal came as a surprise to everyone, but her. Somewhere she knew better, and should have tried to correct it all. Most of it could be forgotten, but now her biggest fear came with the text messages from her various lovers who she now could hardly face. There wasn't a single fiber of her being that wanted to belong to a man, and with the news swirling of her possible crown-she would be forced to find a king, but could she? She had been so strong for so long, but now felt like a child propped in the oversized bed whispering to a voice in the night—the only man she would always trust.

"Tell, Clary thank you for the flowers, and to not worry so, you are a big boy." It felt good to smile if only a little at her simple joke, but Jace no matter how hard things got; always came through in the end. He would find Alec. "I love you too, and I'll talk to you tomorrow." with that the phone hung up, and the lights dimmed in her hospital suite; meaning the nurses would soon be in to sedate her, and her fears would succumb to endless blissful dreams of her family back together again.

Her body was close to healing, though her fears remained, but by now Isabelle was more herself then she would ever be again. Her long white gown brushed the top of her bare feet, the fine French lace that ran along the hem puckered on the side, and the ties were undone around her neck. She needed to feel the air outside, and put her petite feet down inside her long black combat boots that had forever been the bane of her grandmother's existence. She liked them. It was a warm night despite the breeze, and the air reminded her of the warm coast of her distant paradises—long gone from England, and its endless rain. Isabelle thought of running away, and never coming back. However, she settled for the balcony of the hospitals finest room.

It was so strange to look out upon what could be seen of the city, and to hear nothing in the night. The officials had ordered a curfew, and kept close watch on the streets to monitor for further attacks. Anyone out past dark was considered an enemy, and was often gunned down right then. This was but one more reason she needed to be sedated to sleep, as far too often the sounds of pistols woke her throughout the night. What had this world come to?

Was it even worth living in anymore?

Like the heavy full moon that was weighed in the balance she thought of a world without pain, and a life without suffering. How could she face them? Isabelle Lightwood was not an innocent rose like her brother, she had spent many nights in the perils of a man's arms (Sometimes two), but who would want her after this? She would fail as a Queen, as she had failed as a lady, and was reminded almost every day she would never be like her brother: her sweet kind hearted loving brother, who had never once left her, but watched her leave a hundred times.

"Alec I'm so sorry.." Her lip quivered as she spoke to the full moon, hanging there above the skyline, and slowly she made her way to the edge of her balcony. Her ivory fingers curled around the railing, to see the concrete world below, and her thoughts traveled to happier times though her judgment sank into the pits of hell.

Despite the dry weather, the railing edge was damp due to the misty night that had fallen, and as her booted feet started to edge up the railing the white gossamer fabric of her gown clung to the iron bars as if begging for her to stay. Even the wind pressed harshly against the thick oil black strands that fell to the base of her spine. It caused her hair to whip like her gown, and the long sleeves billowed in the breeze. Slowly, on shaken steps she was greeted by the highest feeling of freedom there upon the ledge, and though her arms were limp at her side she felt the desire to stretch them as she was ready to fall.

Isabelle had not noticed how the lights of the entire hospital had gone out, or the shadowy figures across the yard that were to blame for the sudden surge of power outage. Inside the halls was chaos, but out here…out in the night..with her life flashing before her eyes, there was only peace.

* * *

"**Mo**ve Jem. Now." Camille hissed urging him forward as the power failed suddenly at her command, and their window of opportunity opened. She unlike her counterpart was done all in black, her side of the mission to keep hidden from the eye, and gather supplies in closets closed off to even most of the physicians. However, Jem was dressed in common clothes, with his hair tucked back inside a brown golfers hat, and a tweed vest held back his shirt that would match. He looked more English then even the pure bloods did, and perhaps once upon a time would have sold newspapers on street corners in New York. 'Common' to Jem, still held a Victorian flare, and was very held together. Hiding to him was trying not to allow people to stare at the pale nature of his hair, or the startling color of his eyes.

"Remember," His frail hand came out to collect Camille's shoulder as he caught her attention, "Back here in 15, with or without me you go." With a smirk of her ruby red lips, Jem suddenly wished to take back the words, for everything called him a fool in that moment as she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

"You better be here." Camille loved Jem, loved him because he was as beautiful as a woman, but as brave as a brother. She watched him trail along the dark hall, trying to blend into all the rest who scurried about to kick on backup supplies of power to help the truly ill, and she knew it would be hard to get him to leave if any started to fall..Jian, wanted to save the world.

The halls were pitch black save for the emergency lights that gave everything an eerie red glow, and the firelights would drown out crimson in places. Each room was hardly lit, save for the emergency lights by the beds, and it made it hard to tell which ones were empty. He needed the machine that pumped the IV, the monitor that gave the medication, for he feared of Lightwoods survival without it, but so far everyone was being used; some needed it more then others.

This was not his first raid, nor would it be his last, and Jem hardly felt guilty anymore for taking things the government denied the public. All bandages, medications, and treatment had to go through big hospitals like this, where something as simple as small cut would bleed not only from the flesh but drain the pocket as well. Times were hard, but being able to live a normal life shouldn't cost anything.

Sometimes, when he watched through the windows as the physicians moved from room to room he felt envious of the red crosses they wore, having wanted all his life to prove to not only his parents but himself that he could do that too. However, Jem quickly learned that it was more then just pride, but passion as well. He lived to heal, despite he himself close to death.

Each day that passed his eyes grew paler, and his hair moon white would soon rival the first winter snow. His skin was cool to the touch, and his heartbeat weak. The pain came and went, and though he was able to suffer through it; there were days he could hardly get out of bed. Today..he was strong, he was superman with a crimson cape, and an s on his chest as he sailed through the halls knowing well where he was going.

"_Has someone checked on the Princess?" _

Voices around him called from one to another, without conviction in their words to charge the other with the option of going. None felt she needed it, she was on the mend.

"_She is fine, on step down now."_

Step down meant coming off the ICU, coming off the heavily medications they gave her, and no doubt removed from her IV. A light filled his heart as he thought of Alec's sister, and wondered if the world had forgotten her like the hospital had. Slowly he rounded the corner to where the floor chart was displayed, and the room number came to life in his eyes of Isabelle's. It would not be long after until he found his way down the hall.

Her room was grand, of course, a place he would have once lived in as it more resembled the dorms in which he had shared with her brother, then a hospital room. The bed was oversized by a large set of windows, with floors of a deep rich cherry wood colored tile. The walls were a deep rose color with paintings of old churches, or cabins nestled deep in the woods. Thin sheers were draped over the large floor to ceilings panes of glass, and moved lightly in the breeze. Yet…the room was empty, no one was here save for the memory of tangerine body wash, and rose scented shampoo. The covers over the bed were thrown back, and the remnants of the IV had been removed. Slowly, he made his way to the machine to read the medication they had given her, and was surprised at how strong the dose. If she was in step down..that could be deadly, it was a heavy anxiety medicine that had addictive tendencies.

So fallen was the music of the night, a still and constant reminder that a woman's cries no matter how desperate they sounded could be as heartbreakingly beautiful as the spring—he heard her on the balcony. Her deep and raspy breathes as she wanted to fall, and wanted free of this pain. He could hear her silent tears, with the shallow sound of her heart as it ached in her chest, and slowly he moved to the doorway.

Enchanted, she was but a puppet held by silver strings under the large moon, and like a phantom haunting a distant memory of home. The thin white fabric burst around her like white flags as Isabelle was ready to surrender, but the only part of her humanity kept her grounded—her black combat boots. When she heard him coming everything about her hardened, and the tears that coated her cheeks turned to stone, like diamonds as breakable as glass as the last few fell to splatter against the night.

His pale lips parted as his eyes closed, and the Chinese poem left him like a sigh..

"_Tā jìu xiàng qīng fēng màn màn chuī guò…"_

_She appeared like the breeze_

"Rú cóng xī dào dōng fāng de huǒ yàn"

_Moved from West to East.._

"And I could only stand from afar and watch," Slowly he removed his cap, allowing the wind to take hold of his pure white hair to mimic that of her gown, and opened his eyes to realize Isabelle had turned to watch him as he continued the poem. Carefully he moved one step closer to the next, but would freeze in his stance when her own lips parted to pick up on the poetry.

"Her face as white as snow. Her hands as soft as cotton. Her touch made my heart jump." Isabelle's voice was beautiful, and with eyes as blue as the ocean it was clear she was the very images of Lightwood. However, the last word caused Jem's heart to stop as she looked back over the edge, but he was quick to fill the silence.

"Her touch made my heart jump. Her lips moved gently with pink shines. Why I could not control my heart calm.." Opening his fragile hand he smiled up to her, the sort that made her think of heaven here on earth, and there was something in the way he held his hand that made her heart realize there was little to be afraid of. He must have been an angel. "I could not speak." The poem ended on his lips, as Isabelle's own curled into an ashamed smile, though one willing to give, and she reached for his hand.

_Standing near her, my heart lost control. _

Suddenly, the world came crashing down as her first step towards the balcony was missed, and her boots slid over the iron. For a moment Isabelle felt weightless, as gravity pulled her, but her savior's arms became her captor. Jem's hand shot out after her, correcting her step until finally they met the ground together, and he took the force of the fall.

It scared Isabelle so badly she paled, and pulled her legs to her chest so that her black boots would peek out beneath her gown; her hair tumbling over her knees. "I'm sorry." She sobbed into her arms, and Jem would only hold her closer.

* * *

**A/N: Soooooo I'm sorry for lack of updates, I'm super super super sick. I'm not even going to reread this so bare with me if there are mistakes. You know what would make me feel better? Reviews. They are like candy. PLUS they will get you a snippet of the next chapter, AND it posted. After what 20 reviews? I'll toss up the next? Lol, no I won't do that, but please doooooo. I've had a really really really hard week, and have probably lost 5 pounds from this sickness; would add some sunshine to my otherwise dark cold West Virginian world.**

**I'll give you a hint about the next chapter…someone with pretty blue eyes wakes up. ^.^**

**Poem: ****http:/dictionary**** .jongo .com/experience/detail/977 .html**

**p.s. watch the You-Tube vid of the song, its VERY Magnus/Alec**

***goes back to bed***

*****EDIT*****

**I TAKE IT ALL BACK ABOUT THE 20+ REVIEWS, AND PUT A NEW FOOT DOWN. UNLESS KIYORI-CHAN FINISHES HER PAPER, THE NEXT CHAPTER WON'T GO UP. (MAYBE for a 100 REVIEWS, but that is impossible.) SO EVERYONE...MAKE HER FINISH HER PAPER.**

**::winks::**


	24. 23 The Cross That I'm Bearing

**Chapter 23. The Cross That I'm Bearing**

Deliver me, out of my sadness.

Deliver me, from all of the madness.

Deliver me, courage to guide me.

Deliver me, strength from inside me.

All of my life I've been in hiding.

Wishing there was someone just like you.

Now that you're here, now that I've found you,

I know that you're the one to pull me through.

Deliver me, loving and caring.

Deliver me, giving and sharing.

Deliver me, the cross that I'm bearing.

All of my life I was in hiding.

Wishing there was someone just like you.

Now that you're here, now that I've found you,

I know that you're the one to pull me through.

Deliver me,

Deliver me,

Oh deliver me.

All of my life I was in hiding.

Wishing there was someone just like you.

Now that you're here, now that I've found you,

I know that you're the one to pull me through.

Deliver me,

Oh deliver me.

Won't you deliver me.

~Deliver Me, Sarah Brightman

**A**lec had known heaven, blissful exotic kisses that made him rise with ever touch, his body wanting more while his soul devoured the affection, and the flames burning eternal from the inside out. The fire felt so alive, but the truth was Alec had never known hell until he felt it like the hot hiss of the whip's edge, or the harsh calloused hands that had torn at his skin in hungry angry destruction. It was easy to forget the burning pitch forks and the devil's painful horns when all he had to do was close his eyes and think of those arms that held him.

'_Magnus..' Alec called through the skyline apartment, his suite..yet everything seemed different yet still the same. He was dreaming, imagining a place where they had once been. The walls were white, and warm with the glow of the sun shimmering through the large windows. 'Magnus..are you home?' His bare feet felt cool against the smooth stone, and he found himself wondering through the halls in search of his lover. His heart pounded against his chest only to still into a low thrum seeing him there in the oversized white bed with his black hair, and tanned skin causing a perfect contrast._

_Alec's face hurt from smiling so much, the overpowering feel of the warmth radiated from Magnus's kind eyes, and with it he felt his entire soul soar. _

'_Welcome home..' Magnus spoke from the bed, robbed in pristine white, and his hair shuffled from the day of rest. He had been reading, and placed the book over the top of the down filled bedspread—the weight of the book sinking into the feathery plush luxuries of wealth. There wouldn't be any reason to rise, for Alec had closed the distance between them, and met his lover's lips eagerly. His kiss spoke hello, but never ended with good-bye. Yet still the gentle brush of lips, one after another could write sonnets of how much he had been missed. 'How was your day?' Magnus asked touching his lover's sides while watching his own fingers fumble over the hem of Alec's shirt. _

_Alec felt himself staring, looking upon his love as if he had never watched the sun rise. Magnus had taken the time to paint his eyes like Alec painted on canvas. His large amber orbs were outlined in black kohl, wisped with the edge of a soft brush as it colored the black a deep rich purple that almost looked grey until the light caught the glitter that has been his constant since he had rediscovered himself. _

_In Alec's dream, years had passed, or time was simply standing still around them. There wasn't any feel of dread, or fear for what the future would hold. All Alec felt were those warm careful fingers brush carelessly across the exposed skin of his sides as they worked their way under his shirt. _

'_I've been waiting for you..I know you promised to take me out, but I was thinking," Magnus purred as he slid from the bed, and his robe brushed across his calves as he turned to press Alec back against the bed, "Its late.." The sun was still out, "And I've been waiting a very.." His voice lowered as his fingers started to undo the belt of the robe, 'Very..long time." Long slender fingers snaked their way up Alec's leg to tease the inside of his thigh, "Its been a very.." His palm covered the bulge in the youth's pants, squeezing as he went, "Hard wait, Alexander."_

_Alec tried to prop himself up, but wouldn't be given the chance as his body responded with a content low moan; his back would arch slowly off the bed. Magnus loved to watch his pleasure unfold with his blush, but more so loved the point of teasing until Alec gave in—got rough enough to demand what he wanted, like a true King. Alec sat up, and clasped his legs around Magnus's thighs to capture his tormenter who laughed lightly; already surrendering to their game. _

"_I love you." Alec spoke gently, a mere whisper as he leaned over his lover, and his warm breath kissed the skin on Magnus' face, but before the glittered one could roll him Alec held back his hand, "I mean it. Magnus, I love everything about you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Alec's eyes were spilling with the cool calm serenity of the truth, and the man in his dreams looked just as surprised as he would in real life. _

"_You can't love me Alec." Magnus spoke out of no where, the feelings behind his words nothing as his voice reflected, but they still caught Alec off guard. Alec wanted to question him, and his sudden defeated form never noticed how Magnus reached beneath his book to collect a series of small objects._

"_Why.." Alec suddenly stiffened as if this was all part of their game, and perhaps Magnus was testing him again, "I'm King now. I can do whatever I want." He lifted his chin as he narrowed his eyes, and in that split second of letting go of their eye contact Magnus was no longer beneath him. The hands that once loved him were full of needles, a drug that caused Alec to not feel anything—his memories were lost, but those ugly yellow eyes that glared up at him were far too familiar. _

"_Hodge..No!" Alec was thrown back onto the bed, the sleeve of his shirt forced back in the struggle, and hands from all over reached out to hold him down. "Help! Magnus!" He fought at best he could, but in his dreams his body no longer worked. However…_

"Hold him still." Jem's voice was panicked as his two assistance tried their hardest to restrain Lightwood. His fever had burned through the wet rags until they warmed against his skin, and his eyes had long since rolled back in his head. It was like watching a demon infest inside the young prince. His body fought against the hands that held him, and he cried out begging to be free.

"Magnus!" Alec cried, and Magnus couldn't take any more of it. He broke from his stance watching Jem work to move in behind the bed, and the instant his fingers touched Alec's shoulder, Alec calmed. "Make him stop." Alec's voice broke as he looked to Jem with his feverish glazed gaze; nothing of his beautiful blue eyes seemed real, the fever had taken over.

"He's got to hold still." Jem was exhausted, Magnus could tell in the way his eyes seemed darker, and how his motions were weak. It made him realize there was so much more going on still, and how hard the rest were working so that he could be with his love while Alec was ill. It was heartbreaking to feel so selfish, but the rest of the world didn't matter as much when his was falling apart. "Magnus, he needs this. He needs this or he will die."

Alec calmed, whimpering when the start of the IV broke his skin, but he closed his eyes again in peace as Magnus held him close whispering sweet words of endearment that sounded more like gentle lyrics spoken like a song. His Prince calmed against him, returning to his deep restful slumber while the clear liquids rushed through his veins to keep him hydrated as well medicated. Alec had taken a turn for the worse, but the world seemed to work in his favor. Finally, Jem adjusted the flow of the drip and would take a deep breath that worried his leader.

"James.." Magnus started as he was brushing Alec's damp hair off his forehead and continued to dab the wet cloth in hopes of breaking the fever, "You look tired." Jem stiffened when he turned to face Magnus, and started to tense his stance to defend himself. He wouldn't be taken as weak, no matter how truly ill he really was, and this was his greatest fear.

"I'm fine," He lied looking at the Rebellion's Leader through eyes that trembled with fear of rejection, of being cast out because he was dying—already dead to the world above. "Its just been a long day." Camille had told Jem not to tell Magnus about anything that happened above ground, he would only worry further, but now he couldn't get Isabelle Lightwood out of his head. The entire way home both he and Camille spoke about her as if she were an idle you placed above god. Jem thought Camille was smitten, and it would make perfect sense.

"_She's beautiful, Jian..but perhaps a bit too crazy for me, frankly I'm tired of damsels in distress." Camille smirked over her shoulder looking back at the white haired youth who had pulled Isabelle out of her madness._

"_I doubt a Lightwood knows how to play the part, besides think of her more as a puzzle. You enjoy working them." So rarely did he ever jest, that when he smiled as they pressed on Camille thought it very fitting of him-he needed to do it more often. _

"James, take the night off. That is not a request it is an order. We need you too much for you to fall apart now." So fall he would, Jem felt his heart break in his chest. He knew he needed to sleep, they all needed peace long enough to be able to recharge, but it still hurt to hear it.

"Yes..M'Lord. As you wish." He couldn't help, but feel a bit defeated. However, the small memory of the moonlit night still warm on his skin; he would take the time to surface if only to be reminded of his humanity.

* * *

Morning came in such a rush that when the sun pressed through the simple house in the middle class district, Jace felt as though he had just closed his eyes. How could the day already be starting when the night had yet to end? He had sworn when he finally stretched out for the night that the shadows on the walls had not once moved, but now looking again they were gone; all that remained was the bright cheerful color of their warm amber colored walls that his artist wife had painted. With the window open the cool spring air brushed his bare skin with chills that were soon warmed away by the light loving fingers of the only woman he had ever loved.

"Morning already." She spoke with her face still towards her pillow, with her words muffled by the way she still kept her eyes closed. Clary loved to touch his skin, never could she get enough of her loyal husband, and found herself more often then not pregnant with another one of his children. However, times were hard, and throughout the years many times it was confirmed she carried; only one had lived. Each miscarriage was harder then the last on Jace, but somewhere she had grown used to it. No matter how much pain she went through, she came out again on top, but Jace knew it was all an act.

"Mmmm, so it is." He rolled from his back to face her, and every muscle in his body tightened with the motion. He was built strong, with broad shoulders, and a long back; his arms the heavy sort that kept you captured oh-so-willingly. Clary never protested when he pulled her close, "How are you feeling?" He spoke in between soft little kisses over her neck, knowing she was with child right now made it easy to want to be careful with her.

"I feel fine." She smiled up to him, "Happy you are home. I worry so much when you are gone." Part of their biggest problem. "I know you are working so much," She started as she ran her hand up his bare arm, "We are all so worried about Alec, but deep down I feel that he is ok. You will find him." She was right, and just when her lips finally met his the baby would start crying—his phone would start ringing; their laughter spilled down the hardwood floors of the hall.

This was a typical morning, but that voice on the other side of the phone was not a typical caller.

**_I know where the Prince is.._**

* * *

Hours passed again until finally a series of days came and went, and Alec was finally starting to make improvements. Magnus watched as his color started to return, and how when he slept his dreams were not so much plagued with terrors. He was able to leave Alec for a few hours each day, and not feel so guilty with worry that he wouldn't be there when he came back. Never would he let Alec be alone, but even he had to see the surface to keep his sanity. However, most of his day was spent still at Alec's side reading to him, or even singing just to give the young prince something to cling to in his dark little dreaming state. Magnus by now knew every inch of Alec's features, mesmerized by them so much he committed them to memory so that he would always have the way his lashes looked so dark against his cheeks, or how his lips curved perfectly—when he closed his own eyes.

His worry still remained, but by now he had learned that he would have to keep himself healthy if he wished to care for Alec. Every night he slept in the chair beside the Prince, but would only allow himself to skim over the surface of his slumber in fear of Alec waking when he was far too deep in his sleep to realize.

One day when the world above the Underground was so wet with rain rivers rushed through the underground in streams, and bringing a fresh new earthy smell as the rain washed over the stone, Magnus had fallen asleep with the book bound in leather against his chest. He had been reading until his voice could go no further from a book he knew Alec to be fond of, or at least familiar with. Propped there in his chair his heavy even breaths pulled the young prince into reality, and his eyes started to flutter.

"_Magnus.._" A voice so weak, and so frail spoke out as Alec started to finally open his eyes. Slowly and carefully his fingers curled into the sheet, and another little sound escaped him that would cause Magnus to crash back into earth. Alec had tried to sit up, failing miserably, but he was trying to understand where he was. He didn't want to feel so afraid, but he was. What was this place?

Magnus had thought himself to be dreaming, hearing his name like a prayer on heavenly lips wasn't something he often dreamed about, but ever since Alec it was all he could think about. In his sleep he wanted to call back to the voice, find it, but as always he woke up with a deep dread lodged where his heart should be beating wildly in his chest. With a deep inhale, Magnus snapped from his sleep, and ran a hand over his face to try and settle his tired form. The chair was never very comfortable, but he refused to leave Alec's side.

"Magnus." That voice spoke again, and he sat forward trying to remember if he was dreaming still..but there he was. Beautiful blue eyes looking right at him with a loving warm smile. Despite he looked so weak, and still so tired Alec seemed as if he were a fairy tale brought back from the dead with a single kiss. He quickly came to stand, his heart jumping in his chest at the realization Alec was awake, and he closed the distance between them quickly.

"Hi" Alec managed weakly, his voice so quiet and completely lost of its confidence, but completely devoted to keeping Magnus close. It brought tears to the Dark Knight's eyes, and he returned his smile.

Reassured of Alec's beauty, Magnus thought of angels, and found himself believing more then ever in the divine glory of faith. His hand cupped the side of Alec's face warmly as the young prince smiled weakly up at him, and Magnus wasn't certain he had ever woken from his dreams. What reason did Alec have to smile so warmly, and to be so genuinely happy to have woken with him there?

"Hi baby.." Magnus brushed his thumb over Alec's cheek smiling back down to him, but would soon feel the sweet cold fingers of his beloved burn through their strength as Alec moved to brush away the single crystal tear that glittered as it raced down his cheek. He took Alec's hand and kissed the back of his knuckles before holding it firmly to his chest. "Save your strength." Magnus whispered, but Alec shifted enough to make room for his love. " No, Alec, I..."

"Hold me." A wave of dizziness swept over the Prince, and Magnus watched as he fought to keep his eyes open. It was then he finally gave in to his fears of hurting Alec, and stretched out beside this beautiful soul. He was so pitiful, but he wanted Magnus there so badly. Alec turned in his protector at best he could without so much pain taking him, but his body was healed enough he cherished the way Magnus held him. "You need to rest too." The words were almost missed they were so quiet, and Magnus tightened his hold on his love.

He could now that he knew Alec would be ok, "All I needed was to see your blue eyes, pretty boy." Magnus smiled knowing It was the truth, everything would be ok now wouldn't it? The truth was still heavy on him, weighing against his chest, but it was a conversation that could wait just a little longer.

**A/N: Everything is going to be ok now right? :evil grin: I felt like that today when I had emergency dental surgery to make EVERYTHING ok. Ended up having a tooth so infected it messed with my entire body. Gone now. Got the day off, and read CoFA while I was at it.**

**Thank you for being so awesome! And if this chapter sucks a bit forgive me, next one will rock your socks. Depending on how many reviews it gets I plan on having it up this weekend. This one was a bit of fluff/drama, but things are about to get nasty one last time…but trust me it's a nasty nasty one.**

**Thank you for the reviews, and for the well wishes. I feel 100% better. This might have a few mistakes or suck a bit, but its been a week without an update! Gah!**

**Go go go! Close to 200 reviews! I'll flash a little skin? ::flashes::**


	25. 24 To Believe In the Good In Man

**Chapter 24. To Believe In the Good In Man**

I have seen the mystics play there

Once or twice but I knew they had a reason

Enchantment plays it's cards all right

Hand in hand with the working of the seasons

Legends can be now and forever

Teaching us to love for goodness sake

Legends can be now and forever

Loved by the sun, loved by the sun

Loved

Two and two go so close together

Whether there is hope that is torn apart

In the words of all that's singing

Hand in hand the beginning is at the start

Legends can be now and forever

Teaching us to reach for goodness sake

Legends can be now and forever

Loved by the sun

Loved by the sun

Loved

Who sings of all of love's eternity

Whose shines so bright

In all the songs of love's unending spells

Holy lightning strikes all that's evil

Teaching us to love for goodness sake

Hear the music of love eternal

Teaching us to reach for goodness sake

Legends can be now and forever

Teaching us to love for goodness sake

Sweet songs of youth, the wise, the meeting of all wisdom

To believe in the good in man.

_~Love By the Sun, Tangerine Dream_

_http:/www .youtube. com/watch?v=40eZABP5eJs_

**H**ope, tangled on its web dangled carefully over the next few days as Alec continued his recovery. More often then not his eyes were closed as he rested, but for hours at a time he kept them open with casual conversation leaving his lips. He smiled with stories Magnus told him, and even laughed lightly as his lover spun stories of his early life simply to keep his love talking.

Alec felt as though every day that passed something great came from the next. His strength returned as more and more his body let go of the agony that came both with the physical assault and the emotional. Both of them avoided topics of his time with Hodge, or the subject of Magnus's supposed death. They kept the conversations towards brighter times, and happier dreams of the future.

In the quiet hours that he was so rarely left alone, Alec wondered through the room with his pale gaze, trying his hardest to figure out where he was, but more importantly the man who lived here. Clothes were neatly hung over the stone, and a broken mirror was glued upon the rocks in shards that made it both artistic and something short of beautiful. Alec could imagine Magnus putting on his eye kohl in the small little slits, and the thought made his heart swell.

Down here, it was easy to pretend nothing up there mattered, and that in their make belief world nothing had ever hurt him. He was bound to the bed in a lazy afternoon while Magnus ventured out in the world, and there was no such thing as the wounds that slowly started to disappear. Often, Alec wanted to follow Magnus down the long hall where he thought he heard voices, but he was always ushered quickly back down into the bedding by sweet gentle hands.

"You should not be sitting so," Jem smiled, he always smiled—it was forced, and it brought back so many memories for Alec that were not so long ago; yet seemed like a thousand years away. Alec wanted to go with Magnus, so badly his heart ached. He was ready to be out of the bed, and the further his love went the harder it was to breathe. "Your highness, here."

"I want up." Alec protested, "And please don't call me that." Shifting his eyes over to the young man whose own slanted eyes reminded him of a serpent, but with the same impression he thought of the white wings of butterflies. Jem was beautiful, in that rare exotic untouched way, and Alec found himself inwardly taking all of the man in. He would commit to memory the way his pale skin smelled like rose water, and the way his silver storm cloud eyes never rose to meet his own; but never once looked down in shame. "Not yet. I'm not ready to be called King." Alec's words were ignored as Jem ushered him back into bed.

"Please, he will be upset if he knows I have let you up." Jem spoke as if he would be the one punished for Alec's behavior, and though he had many questions forming on his lips he would press back again against the bed. "You are still too weak to walk." The white haired youth continued as he pulled the covers back around Alec who heaved a heavy sigh.

"Is it so horrible of me not return? To not face the world up there." He knew they were underground, as vaguely the sounds of the world above filtered through the pavement cracks. The soil rich and damp, from the rains made him think that if he walked long enough through the long narrow stone hall, he would reach the lush green highlands of the Celtic nations; where folklore and magic still seemed to thrive while the rest of the world fell into the industrial rhythm of the future. His grandmother loved to vacation there, and far too often did he think back of those months they spent in the country. There was a peacefulness that was as rare as the rose in winter, and something in Jem reminded him of that.

Alec studied the white haired delicate soul beside him, and thought of the first fall of snow; how it stuck to his lashes and tickled his skin. Every movement Jem made was with the grace of an artist whose canvas was a well polished floor, and their medium—dance. He thought back of the first time he saw him settled in the trees, martial arts so beautiful its ancient grace was that of eastern songs he could never understand. He was one with that world then, balanced, and centered—what was he now? What place did he hold here?

Jem always seemed so eager to please, but Alec could tell whatever illness had taken him, there was little to show save for how tired he seemed at times; and how weak he had become. He was like a frail silver cloud moving across the night sky, lit by the moon, and as cold as he would imagine the surface. Once Alec would have thought to compared him to the sun, burning brightly with purpose and reason, but now..Jem simply existed among the stars. He hardly looked Alec in the eye, and his words were spoken as if he_ knew_ he were a lesser man; privileged to even be breathing the same air as Alec, and humbled by his position in the world. However, it made Alec feel as though Jem thought of him as his master, and he but a servant to his kingdom—he owed this man everything, and when Jem met Alec's eyes for a moment, he wondered if he could feel his eyes watching him. Quickly Jem diverted his gaze, ashamed that he let them linger that long and a flush filled his pale skin.

"Jian…" Alec started, sounding as though he was trying to catch him before he ran away, but he didn't go anywhere—simply kept his eyes on the clean bandages he was about to unroll in preparation to change the Prince. He noticed that Jem's eyes were full of water; unshed tears that threatened to give away everything, and this brought his heart to stop. "Hey.." Alec smoothed, in a voice as gentle as distant thunder, "What's wrong?" His hand went out to touch Jem's arm, and he almost drew it back at how cold the other man's skin felt through the thin sleeve of his tattered shirt. Every alarm went up in Alec, but nothing of fear, it was nothing of anger, but of deep concern.

Jem was forced to face Alec, but kept his head canted forward to try and hide his eyes with his silvery white hair, and in a low hoarse whisper he finally admitted..

"I would give anything to be part of that world again." It broke Alec's heart to hear him say that, and he suddenly felt so selfish. However, he knew nothing of this world here, but slowly he was starting to put together the pieces. The sadness in Jem's voice was only accented by his beautiful Eastern tone; no matter what he said it always sounded so beautiful and so soft. He was like an enchanted doll come to life from the dream realm, and next to Magnus he was one of the most beautiful men he had ever looked upon. Now, he knew..Jem was like Magnus—cast out.

"Go back where?" Alec whispered back as he moved forward on the bed to press his hand over Jem's gently, and he watched as the other man centered himself to explain. He was not a prisoner here, but sometimes he felt it. The world above rejected him just like everyone else, but up there the sun burned warm on his skin, and he longed for it. He was not given leave to ever see it, nor able to leave without permission. It was too dangerous anymore to even sneak up in the afternoon just to stand in the gardens of the cemetery, and to his sacred soul this was torture. Alec knew Jem was going to open up to him, explain to him what his heart was feeling, and how desperately he needed to tell someone. Alec wanted to be his hero, just as Jem had been his own, but just as he parted his pale lips to speak, Magnus moved in through the shadowy tunnel.

"Jem." He called out, and caused the white haired youth to jump—pulling his hands back quickly, "You are needed." The tall frame of the Underground King stood in the doorway as he watched with arms crossed lightly over his shoulders—waiting.

With his back to his King, Jem kept his gaze low, but his eyes still holding Alec's. He quickly blinked away the tears that reminded Alec of morning dew on the clear webbing, where a spider had waited all night, and he gave a careful nod of his head.

"Yes, My Lord." Jem's voice was a lot quieter when he sat the bandages down, but it wasn't as soft anymore. He stood to leave, and quickly moved past Magnus to avoid his eyes. Alec was stunned, and the ever-present curiosity captivated Magnus, but it also caused him to move from the doorway into his love's room.

"Is he ok?" Alec asked watching Magnus as he closed the space between them, and couldn't help but feel his heart skip a beat with the sound of Magnus's leather boots hitting across the stone. Magnus was furious with Jem in this moment, because for the first time since being here Alec would soon ask him about this life.

"He is fine, it's simply been a very busy week." Magnus answered as he placed himself on the edge of Alec's bed, and took up his hands. "How are you feeling?" He asked, but knew the answer. He knew his love was restless, and he could see it in his pale blue eyes. He could almost feel his quickening pulse as he ran his fingers over the underside of his wrists. The rope burns were hardly noticed, and finally the ugly marks upon his face started to fade. Alec if nothing else gained from this the hardened edge of a survivor's blade. He had lived through war upon his own skin, while his love waged war upon his land.

_Because of this, Alec.._Because he should be able to love this man, and his sweet hands. Magnus turned Alec's palm over pressing a kiss there, and lived in the moment it brought a flush to his face. Even after everything that happened he still felt every kiss was their first, and when Magnus ran his palm against the his warm cheek they both smiled. Alec turned his into Magnus' palm as he closed his eyes. Alec took that moment to move closer, and buried his face in Magnus' neck to breathe in his scent.

"Magnus.." Alec sighed content his legs dangling lazily over the edge of the bed he was so desperate to get out of. His angular face brushed against the skin of his lover's neck, and he pressed a kiss to the curve of his collarbone before raising his eyes to his love. "Where are we? What is this place?"

Magnus came to life with the fires of desire, his body hardening as he felt the warm breath of his Prince over the tender skin, and his heart danced against the cage that held it. He knew he needed to explain to Alec, give him the truth, but it was so much harder when he knew it would hurt him. His lips fell to brush against Alec's, and his answer remained sealed inside that. Yet, when he pulled away to see his Prince looking up at him, Magnus knew the truth had to come next. However, he watched the same fire take hold of his beloved, and Alec rose to kiss him again.

"I don't want to go back." Alec spoke between kisses, suffering through the pain to hear Magnus moan against his lips. Everything was slowly starting to heal, and he was a tough young man—he could take the pain.

"You have to." Magnus replied his hand stalking the sides of Alec's body, careful to where they held, but also wanting nothing more then to keep him close. Jem had taken the IV out of his arm in the past few days, and the mark was still a reminder of it. However, Magnus wondered if he could relate it to the cord that once bound him to his mother, for Alec seemed to come to life again when he was disconnected from his healing bed.

"I won't." Alec protested, kissing him again, but pulled away when he realized Magnus wasn't closing his eyes or advancing any further; the sobering look he shared made Alec realize their fantasy was going to come crashing down. "Do you not want me to live here? It's a mess up there, Magnus."

"Alec you.."

"No." He hissed, pressing Magnus back and forcing him to fall on his arms over the bed, "Don't you tell me what I have to do." Oh, he was furious in that moment. "You don't know what its like to live that life. Being told where to go, how to dress, and being hunted like a dog. I'm watching men and women I know and love fall like birds being shot from the sky just because they hold power. So don't you dare tell me I can't stay here with you forever, Magnus I won't hear it. I'm safe with you. I want to be with you, and I love you." Everything about the way he stood was living proof that Alec was without shadow of a doubt very serious about his remarks.

"Alexander," Magnus pulled himself back up taking his wrists as Alec tried to push him back down, but his grip eased when Alec winced—he was quick to kiss away that pain, "Darling, I have something I need to tell you. I.." He started, but a voice in the doorway interrupted him.

"Magnus we have visitors." Camille's voice sounded a bit rough around the edges, and Alec wanted to scream for her to leave. However, the way Magnus darted his deadly gaze in her direction, Alec knew something was wrong. With that Camille's heels clicked back down the hall in a rush of moving leather, and Magnus pressed Alec back down on the bed.

"I'm sorry. Wait here." The look of pure disappointment killed Magnus to see on Alec's face, but if they were to ever work out he would have to accept this part of him. "I'll come right back, and I'll explain everything. We'll go for a walk, and we'll see the sun." He brushed his fingers over Alec's face that seemed to subside from its anger.

"Magnus I want out of this bed. I need out of it. Please…don't be long." He made him promise before they shared another kiss, and with that he watched him leave once more.

"I won't. I love you. I'll be right back."

He never came back….

* * *

**A/N: So this chapter is a bit rushed, because I'm excited to get to the next one! I'll have a snippet for you in the review this time, but I will leave you with this sentence from the next chapter to encourage you to leave me a review? We're so close to 200…I could die. Thank you thank you!**

_**Alec's heart stopped in his chest as he saw his own image reflecting back in a picture that someone had burned his eyes out of, and the glass he held in his hands shattered around his feet.**_

**Mwhahahahahahahahahahaha**

**Also, I would like to dedicate this chapter to Kuro-15 (she knows why) and shamelessly promote a good friend of mine's story. Please go check out ****Crazywing18 ****'s new story **_**Dark Over Light. **_**Its boss, and she's working hard on it. You can find it on my favorites.**


	26. 25 Some of Them Want to Use You

_****Warning: This Fic is dark, and the characters are not mine.****_

**Chapter 25. Some of Them Want to Use You**

Sweet dreams are made of this

Who am I to disagree?

Travel the world and the seven seas

Everybody's looking for something

Some of them want to use you

Some of them want to get used by you

Some of them want to abuse you

Some of them want to be abused

Sweet dreams are made of this

Who am I to disagree?

Travel the world and the seven seas

Everybody's looking for something

Some of them want to use you

Some of them want to get used by you

Some of them want to abuse you

Some of them want to be abused

I wanna use you and abuse you

I wanna know what's inside you

(Whispering) Hold your head up, movin' on

Keep your head up, movin' on

Hold your head up, movin' on

Keep your head up, movin' on

Hold your head up, movin' on

Keep your head up, movin' on

Movin' on!

Sweet dreams are made of this

Who am I to disagree?

Travel the world and the seven seas

Everybody's looking for something

Some of them want to use you

Some of them want to get used by you

Some of them want to abuse you

Some of them want to be abused

I'm gonna use you and abuse you

I'm gonna know what's inside

Gonna use you and abuse you

I'm gonna know what's inside you

_~Sweet Dreams, by The Eurythmics_

_(But listen to the version by Emily Browning __on the Suckerpunch Soundtrack)_

"_**A**__nd when you dream, you will be in your garden. So fresh and alive like the trees, Alexander." The memory of the sun's warm remained long after the loving hand of his beloved grandmother fell from its place on his cheek. She brushed her fingers over his youthful glow of the newborn, as if she were polishing a rare jewel that would forever shine. She had loved this boy her entire life, but from the moment he was born Aileen knew there was something special in Alec. The outside air filtered in through the open window with the warm last breath of summer, that aged dry scent of the golden leaves that still hung to their trees, but their green washed away by the coming autumn. The roses that had blossomed all summer, had slowly started to fade the bright crimson red almost black now—the last summer rose. Everything was changing, before her eyes, but as Aileen held her new grandson she could only thing of spring again. He brought everything back to life._

"_He will change the world someday, Maryse." She had spoken softly to her daughter as she walked with the baby inside her arms, her own first born still resting in her bed; exhausted from the labor. "A beautiful Spring baby, that will bring life to us all."_

_Maryse opened her eyes too tired to care really of what her mother went on about, and beyond annoyed that she still remained. Alec had hardly cried, but even the little faint whimpers made her sick to her stomach. She wanted nothing more then to sleep, and to be free from the both of them. _

"_Mother.." She started the distaste for her ignorance very clear, "Its September." The distant sound of a violin somber and sobering played in a careful pull through the windows as if someone stood in the garden to serenade the roses. _

"_No, M'dear. I do not mean his birthday..I mean when he will be reborn again."_

* * *

**A**lec woke with a start half expecting to still smell the sweet fragrance of the last roses of summer, but instead found the stale damp stone he was growing bored of. The dream was so vivid, so real that he could almost still hear the violin singing sweetly into the night, and it made him rise up in the bed. He missed his grandmother then, her words still so warm in his heart, and he had never known what she meant—until now. All his life she went on about his rebirth, like a phoenix he had to burn it all down to rise again, but he was so lost from that now; even if he understood he still hadn't the faith in his ability to over come anything—not without Magnus. His body was healing slowly, but he wondered if he would ever get over the fear.

Touching his fingers to his eyes he started to rub away the foggy affects of his deep slumber, and with it wondered if he would ever feel so at ease again. It was time for a dose of his medication, the pain in his back was easily what woke him, and now it ached for relief. The room was so dark, with a single trail of candles set in the walls he knew the hour to be late, and the halls empty. He couldn't hear a single voice, nor the sounds of the everyday shuffle, but as he ran his fingers over his face—through his hair, he thought he still heard the violin singing sorrowfully in the darkness.

The dream was gone now, everything of that life seemed so forgotten about, and perhaps this was the time he was to learn to start tending to his own needs again. He needed medication, he wanted the ache to stop, but the sound of the sorrow strings perked his attention. This place seemed so void of any sort of culture, he almost knew the violin to somehow belong to Jem. The thought made him smile as his feet touched the cold ground, and the silk of his pants brushed the tops of his toes.

Haunted. The music seemed to haunt the halls as it echoed through the tunnels, and the closer Alec went the more his heart broke to hear it. As if the song of Jem's sorrow could be outlined by the melody lifting from the strings, Alec felt as though he could read them in the air. It broke his heart, but he came to realize this song was of more then death, it was of love lost, and things that could never be again. Jem was mourning..but what? Had anyone ever thought to ask? He had to make it right, Jem had been so kind to him, Alec knew he had to make him feel something more then his heartache.

The floors were so cold on Alec's bare feet his toes started to hurt, and he was still so weak he had to stop every few yards to gather his strength. However, it felt so refreshing to stand—to walk again as if he had finally learned how. He could stand on his own now stronger then before, and this little victory of conquering the halls was nothing compared to what was to come.

When the halls emptied out into the large open space of the Oubliette, Jem was standing there by the calm water that was so dark it reminded him of ink. It was an eerie place, and the cracks in the ceiling let the moonlight filter in while dust particles looked like fairies playing in the light. Alec was enchanted, and _this _was the Jem he knew. He controlled the elements around him, creating a world of peaceful bliss, and loving serenity. He was dressed like he once had been, in matching silk that was of a never changing design—as old as the arts he studied; the large symbol of balance there between his thin shoulders, and his hair down. With his eyes closed, Alec though he could still see the silver of Jem's eyes beaming through his pale eyelids, and his black lashes reminded him of the liner Magnus wore when they were pressed against his cheeks. He missed Magnus. Where had he gone? Where had everyone gone? Maybe he had dreamed their voices too, but this room..seemed like something out of a story. He could almost feel the remnants of the souls that slept here. What were they?

When the long boney fingers of the physician ended the song, the last note faded into the darkness, and Alec slowly brought his hands together in praise of the melody. Jem's moonlight eyes opened sharply, and his skin lost what color it had-which wasn't much. Alec could hear his friend's heart stop and could almost see the air suck in his lungs from the panic.

"Alec. You should not be here." Jem's words were as frozen as his stance in his place, and it puzzled Alec that he said _you should not be here…_not.._you should not be up, _as if Alec had caught him in the midst of a sin, his music was much the same. Like his paintings he knew it was expression, but even he in his devotional despair couldn't fathom such sadness. "I'm so sorry.." Jem looked defeated, "That I woke you."

Alec couldn't tell him of his dream, at how it wasn't his violin that woke him, but his grandmother—his rebirth into the world, but he wasn't about to let Jem have one more reason to hate himself.

"No, I woke up on my own. I think..." Alec started to explain about his pain, but knew Jem would only blame himself for that too. "I'm about ready for another dose of medicine maybe?" He admitted from his seat there, and Jem moved quickly to collect him. However, Alec would protest though unwilling to move and used his pain as an excuse to stay a little longer. "I'd like some water, if you don't mind."Jem gave a nod of his head before he moved to collect Alec the finest glass the Underground had, and filled with water from the jugs they collected.

"I will go get your medicine. Stay here. Please..do not get up." Jem was uneasy with allowing Alec to remain, but he knew the pain to be a good reason to remain. He had come so far on his own, it would be cruel to make him go back now, and he doubted he could carry him. Alec felt as though he was discovering a new world, and within it himself again. It all started to make sense, and his heart warmed thinking of Magnus tending to these lost souls. He had become their shepherd, and protected them here. Was that it?

Across the water a light flickered on a wall where old paper flapped in the draft, and Alec knew that his answers would be found there. He passed a look over his shoulder in the direction Jem had gone, and could still hear his footsteps disappearing down the tunnel. He could look, and it was easier to stand then he thought it would be. Adrenaline pushed him with his excitement to explore Magnus' world that he kept it so secret, but Alec had given everything to him.—it was only fair. He had let him on every secret he could, and even made him one of his own.

Alec turned up the lantern when he was closer to the large wall with what seemed to be a map of the entire city, and the lines of important streets outlined in red. He smiled seeing familiar places, and even found his own estate there as part of the outside source. He ran his fingers over the angry lines, but stopped as red x's replaced the path. These were all homes he knew, ones that housed the Seatholders, and it puzzled him. However, beside each house was a picture, a face, and a name he knew; and slowly he noticed the angry black ink that crossed out their features marking them dead—as 'x' always marked the spot.

Suddenly the water in Alec's hand trembled with his own shaken hands, as his heart stopped in his chest when he saw his own image reflecting back in a picture that someone had burned his eyes out of, and the glass he held in his hands soon shattered around his feet. Beneath his name there was another, the same name he was held tortured with until he was forced to plead it, and beneath that a fee that was marked paid. His hand came to his mouth, his lips feeling so dry suddenly as tears burned at his eyes, and it felt as though the only thing that held him together was his wish to be dreaming. He was still in his bed, and would wake any moment…

It couldn't be, but when he went over every name of the ones he knew to be dead—they were all marked in the same print. _No.._Alec took down his picture, hardly able to reread Hodge's name beneath it, the fee..hardly anything, as if Hodge would have done it for free, but now Alec was simply sick with the truth.

His shaken hands took down the image as if touching it somehow made it even more real, but he simply needed one more reminder that he was in fact awake, and no longer dreaming. Slowly, he heard the careful footsteps fall again through the hall, but it would not be Jem who found him clutching the image begging it not to be real.

The first thing Magnus noticed of his Prince was the way his eyes danced like his trembling hands as they went back and forth over the picture—reading, and rereading the text below it, and Magnus knew Alec was trying to put it together; or simply refusing to admit the truth. The lantern light was breathtakingly beautiful over his alabaster skin, and made his pale eyes swim with the warm golden amber of the glass. However, he knew it to be the unspoken, unshed tears of his undoing that made them appear so vibrant. Alec's eyes always gave away his true feelings, and though the dirt turned black from the blood burned his own eyes he couldn't close them. He wanted to take in this moment for all it was, and the cruel way his heart twisted in his chest he knew to be deserved. He would punish himself more then any God could. This was his hell, and he would never forget the look of complete betrayal over Alec's beautiful features. How did he even start? Was there any really any reason to? Alec's pain told him the truth that there wasn't much he could have done to take it back now. When Alec's eyes finally lifted to his own they were so accusing, and convicted him right where he stood. Magnus felt like he had been stabbed in the heart, and it was his own hand that pushed the blade.

Alec couldn't talk at first, he just stood there looking at Magnus with hatred in his eyes, but the shock finally came with a hiss, "_You.." _Alec's voice was hardly above a whisper, "You did this to me?" Magnus looked just as he felt, coming from a battle, but even Jem who now stood silent on the other side of the hall seemed to not notice the way the blood blended with the black earth like one of Alec's paintings. For a good moment they stood there against one another, dark against the light, a forbidden passion that was splitting down the middle once again.

"Alex..I tried to stop him." Magnus' voice was close to breaking, as he stared through his limp ebony strands that were soaked with the exhaustion that came with his position, even the glitter around his eyes seemed to dull.

"Stop him." Alec snorted taking a step back from Magnus to counter his slow advance, "Stop him from what? Beating me? Raping me? ..that whip." Alec shook his head as his tears blinded him, and his lungs seemed to refuse to fill with the air he gasped in.

"Alec, please." Magnus, in all his leather glory moved to try and calm his Prince, but Alec threw the picture at him in an attempt to keep the wolf away.

"No! Don't touch me." He hissed through gritted teeth as the anger refused to subside, "You don't EVER get to touch me again." Alec collapsed against the wall wanting support, needing the air that never came, and refusing to allow anyone to see him so defeated. His head dropped with his sobs, and his black hair came to mask his face until he raised his eyes once again, "You lied to me…How could you?" He couldn't stop the tears from falling now, _"I loved you.."_

Magnus went to one knee, falling as if he stood before the almighty ready to accept his punishment to hell. He would not beg for mercy, and didn't believe in second chances. However, all he wanted was for Alec to be returned safely. The world above was coming for their Prince, but only Magnus knew. He had left the battle that had been lost long before the midnight hour, and refused to go down without seeing Alec out to safety. "Alec please," Magnus shook his head trying to figure where to start, but Alec wasn't going to have any of it.

Alec couldn't make any words form on his lips, instead he did what he did best—bottle them, and like a true King he suppressed his tears, his cries, and the pain at best he could to suffer it all back.

_It hurts..Magnus…_

_What my love?_

_My heart. I feel like I'm dying.._

_Don't.._

_I want to.._

_I won't let you.._Magnus closed the distance between them, and his hand touched lightly the crumpled thin shoulder of his love, but Alec was quick to finally break.

"Get away from me!" Alec pushed Magnus back with enough force to make him stumble a few steps, and the Alec that bottled his emotions suddenly had nothing left. He seethed with anger, breathing now through his teeth, and his chest rising and falling harshly. "He _fucked_ me. Over and over again.." He started through his clenched teeth, "Raped me so much all I could feel was his hate. He beat me. He broke me. He whipped me..He took everything from me that you gave me..you showed me. I didn't know what love was until I gave you _everything."_ Alec dare not let his eyes fall from Magnus's own, as if telling this to his face made it somewhat more vindicating. Magnus suddenly knew what that whip felt like. "But do you know what I did Magnus?" Alec shook his head, "I thought of you. How all I had to do was survive so we could be together." Alec's shoulders fell as his rollercoaster emotions could hardly sustain themselves, and he slid down the wall until he was curled in to himself. "I'm so stupid…So fucking stupid."

Magnus wouldn't answer. He simply remained silent letting Alec vent his anger at him. Jem was the only one who could hear the footsteps coming, and only turned to face the hall when he heard something crash in the distance as the search party continued. They were coming for Alec, and this would soon all be over. Magnus knew Alec wanted death then, and when the prince finally pulled his knees to his chest, Magnus closed the distance between them.

"Alec.." It broke him to see his Prince so defeated, and that he could no longer comfort him. He was not wanted. "I've tried so hard to tell you." His whispers were half ignored as Alec's head still hung between where he hugged his knees to his chest, and the pain in his back easily ignored. Magnus moved his half gloved fingers to brush through Alec's hair, "You have to understand that we're forgotten down here."

"I don't have to understand anything!" Alec shot his gaze to Magnus like bullets of ice, and in that moment he was tired of hearing his bullshit. "Take me home. Get me out of here. Away from you. Away from this damn place." Alec looked then over the room, and could make out Jem's figure. However, he could tell the white haired youth was watching something down the hall.

"I don't have to, Alexander." Magnus' bottom lip quivered, and he suffered through the next words, and his own tears collecting. "They are coming to take you from me." With that Alec looked up to him, and it damn near killed Magnus to realize the trust was no longer there. They couldn't take what wasn't his anymore.

"Who?" Alec asked, but before Magnus could answer figures clad in black burst through the hall, their guns aimed high; perched on their shoulders like birds of prey, and their shouts like thunder crashing against the stone.

"Get down. On your knees." The soldier ordered Jem down, and Alec knew that voice.

"Jace!" He quickly came to his feet at best he could, and with that Mangus would watch Alec turn from him forever.

"My god..Alec!" The sigh of relief on Jace's lips was like a prayer sweet and soothing, and as the ranks fell in around him Magnus stood as well—he was forced to let Alec go. "You are alive..thank God. Oh thank you God." Jace's hands trembled with the rush, and the relief all at once as he cupped Alec's face in his hands. "He's alive. He's safe. You are safe." Quickly a set of men came with a warm blanket, a medic's blanket, and formed a rank around him. "Clear this room, move to the next." Jace barked to the soldiers, who did just as he instructed while the rest started to search the remaining Underground.

"Wayland," One spoke from the platform where the map was drawn out, and it was then Alec's attention turned with Jace to where Magnus still stood. He was no longer alone there, but already being taken to his knees by two men with rifles pressed against him—one to his neck the other to his back. "Look." All the evidence they would need to seal the fate of the Underground forever. "They are all there. We found them. Finally. Isabelle is there too.." The soldier turned to see Jace's face burning dangers with his angry gaze into that of Magnus', and his fingers rolled the barrel of his gun.

**A/N: So I'm breaking this chapter down, and holding the other part hostage until you 200+ readers each chapter make yourselves known! Ha! (Not asking for 200, by any means! Just saying that if you read, say so. ^.^ I'll take what? 30..40..teehee, more like when I get a chance to post it.)**

**Also, in cause the warning wasn't clear enough—this is a very very very very dark ugly, twisted, story so..be prepared. I also have a KILLER busy work week coming up with Prom Season taking off (make up) and Wedding Season (photography) Also at the firm things are nuts too..wee, so I'm going to offer the snippet in advance for all the reviews I get cause I'm a whore like that. (Plus I'm going to be sooooo busy)**

_**Jem's whole body shook as he knelt there under the weight of the arms that held him, and his mind went back to all the times he had lived his life in fear of leaving this world too soon. Now, with the hot end of the recently fired gun burned the flesh behind his neck he accepted his fate. He was ready to die.**_

_**Flashes of his life played over his eyes like the picture shows his mother used to take him to, and he wondered if William would be waiting for him at the gates of Heaven, or would he find him in the Hell he so often spoke of.**_

**I also want to take this time just to say a HUGE thank you to all that have read this, and enjoyed it. It means the world coming from a little hometown girl who really doesn't have much else then her family, friends and her books. Thank you.**


	27. 26 Fooling Myself For Too LOng

**Chapter 26. Fooling Myself Too Long**

Oh when the cold wind blows

I feel it to the bone

Oh when you say you know

I feel I am not alone

And even though I may return

To empty places on my own.

and I remember everything you want me to forget.

When you provide a parachute

While I am falling like a stone

And I remember there's a life that I have not lived yet

You and I

Truth and lies

I have been fooling myself too long

You and I

Breaking ties

How could we be so right and so wrong

How could we be so right and so wrong

I hear the words you say

Your mouth against my skin

My world just froze away

You light me from within

And even though I may return

To empty places on my own.

and I remember everything you want me to forget.

When you provide a parachute

While I am falling like a stone

And I remember there's a life that I have not lived yet

You and I

Truth and lies

I have been fooling myself too long

You and I

Breaking ties

How could we be so right and so wrong

_~Broken Ties, by Oceanlab_

**T**hrough the years, Magnus had stared fate in the eye a thousand times, and through generations of all history's finest moments he found himself living one more. His death was dangling like hope on a thin string, and with it he felt himself welcoming fate. He wanted that bullet to break the skin, and bury through his ribs—to find the heart that was like the shattered glass around his feet. His fingers longed to pull the fabric from his neck, to expose the skin beneath that paled with the realization that this was it.

_Aim true, Wayland. _

That bullet wouldn't hurt as badly as it did when he thought of a life without Alec. He wouldn't stand to live in a world he knew his Prince to be in, not with him. He had tasted those lips, caressed those thighs, and loved more then he ever thought he could of another man. How did one go back to the way things were? He could not stand to hear his voice on the television or stare at him on the pages of magazines again. The past few years he had suffered enough, and all around him it was all falling apart—he welcomed death.

"Alec no!" Jem cried out, fighting the men that held him, his face without any color as fear walled up inside him, and then broke like water forcing past a dam, "He loved you! This entire time! Alec..stop him!" Jem's cry rattled his chest as he sobbed, and the mercy written on his lips brought Alec back down—it was too late.

A sure fire shot sang out into the darkness for only a fraction of a second, but to Alec time stood still as the world suddenly went silent. The heat of the gun smoked on the edge, and the blood that splattered filled the room with the thick cold smell of iron so strong Alec could almost taste it. He was frozen in his stance, and hadn't the time to stop Jace, but when he heard Jem's captors force him back down his heart stopped.

Jem's whole body shook as he knelt there under the weight of the arms that held him, and his mind went back to all the times he had lived his life in fear of leaving this world too soon. His life had just started, how could it end so soon? Now, with the hot end of the recently fired gun that burned the flesh behind his neck flashes of his life played over his eyes like the picture shows his mother used to take him to, and he wondered if William would be waiting for him in the afterlife. He was right, William had always been right; there was nothing worth living for in this world.

* * *

**"**_**D**on't say that," Jem's hands were covered in the blood that wouldn't stop, but none of it belonged to him. No matter what he tried it simply wouldn't stop, and from there it was hard to realize that this was it. The autumn air was so somber, and so cold yet still he couldn't feel it._

_William was reckless, he was eager to deny himself happiness simply to suffer along side his anger, but most of all William was free. He was going to a better place, no matter how much he refused to acknowledge it. At night when he thought no one was listening, William prayed in praise of answering his prayers—sending him Jian._

"_It's.. the truth.." Even his voice in its weakened state sounded rough around the edges, and it made Jem strangely think of the night they met, him standing there in the rain. A fit of coughs caused his chest to rise and fall, and the blood pooled in his mouth. _

"_Don't move, help is coming." Jem had long ago called for aid, but on nights like this they never came. He hung onto hope as he held onto Will's hand, and he hated him for being right—Will was always right._

"_Jem.." The blood never stopped, but it was not what pooled in Will's mouth that concerned him, it was the tears he cried, the somber crimson tears of death as Will looked his fate in the eye, "At least you are not infected."_

_But he was..he never told Will of that night. It was a secret he carried like a weight on his shoulders, and a burden he would keep as his own. Will was too drunk to remember, and didn't need to know now, especially not now. Jem was looking his own fate in the face as Will stared up to the cold night. Someday..he would cry bloody tears, and in moments like this he wished that time would come._

* * *

**"N**o!" Alec shouted lunging for Jace, and pulling on his arm to pull the gun away, "No.." He breathed, as Jem looked up. "He's a prisoner down here too…" Alec's pale blue eyes shifted to where the Dark Knight lay forgotten on the stone. Magnus didn't move. Alec's heart didn't beat.

Wayland's golden stare narrowed on Jem, who wasn't held so tightly now, and the unspoken anger remained silent for now. However, the soldiers let him go. Jace slid his eyes in the direction of the Prince who looked almost childlike with unspoken prayers on his lips, and the desire to see his enemy survive. Was this an enemy? Alec didn't realize how tightly he held on Jace's arm, or that he was holding his breath. He didn't realize he was giving away his secret to someone who knew him better then his own voice.

"You missed his heart, Wayland." One of the soldiers spoke as he remained with his gun drawn, aimed at Magnus ready to shot him at point blank if need be, but Jace wouldn't give the order—they were no longer his to give. He was but a faithful subject who stood in place as King until the royal born returned. He had also been one of the few to never stop searching for Alec. "What me to finish him?" The man asked waiting, but Jace studied Alec. He was so thin now, his skin pulled tightly over the bone, but the sorrow in his fixed gaze made him question it all. Those bruises had to get there somehow.

"Alec.." He spoke softly, and covered the cold fingers that held tightly to his sleeve. Alec's knuckles were white, and Jace knew, deep down, there was something going on that was bigger then bloodloss; it was bigger then he could imagine. "Its your call."

When Alec's eyes finally met his he knew he was so far into himself that even Jace could not pull him out. There was no chasing after his friend when he was so far gone, and Jace swore Alec's only connection with the living was his hold on his own sleeve.

"I can't," Alec started in a voice so quiet only Jace could hear it, "I can't kill him." Jace quickly shot worried eyes for any close enough to hear the weakness in Alec's voice. This was not what people expected of a King—enemies were not privileged to mercy. Mercy was for the weak.

"Alec, think about this. He kept you here." Their face was close Alec could feel the warmth of Jace's breath on his neck, "He held you here." Alec shook his head,

"No..you don't understand, Jace..I can't." Alec's downcast eyes gave away his feelings to those who knew what they were looking for, and Jem wanted to speak out his support. He was doing the right thing, but when Alec's gaze lifted Jem held his breath. Alec's eyes burned with a rage that simply wouldn't subside. He wasn't weak. He was in love. He was betrayed by his heart just as much as he was by Magnus who was forced back to his knees, but it was clear he was having trouble keeping his head up. His eyes were glazed with pain, and his own blood dropped from the black strands that hung around his face.

"He can rot in a prison just as much as he can rot in hell." Alec's words were so cold, and were as hardened as his heart in that moment as he let go of Jace's arm, "The bloodshed stops here." He ordered with confidence in his voice, and a command over the room with a passion brought to life. "Arrest them all. Let the public decide their fate, but no more will die on this night." With that the room came to life again with the functions of a perfectly greased gears that moved the army, and the men all started to line their victims up along the wall.

When they pressed Magnus back his blood stained front was so dark the blood looked black. Jem sucked in a breath wanting to go to him. He needed assistance, or he would die in the prison. Magnus healed quickly, but something had to start it. Jace must have read the alarm on Jem's face because he followed his eyes towards where the Dark Knight rest defeated, and he ordered the medic to start instantly extracting the shell of the shot.

Jem looked from Magnus to Jace with a silent thank you, and smiled. When Jace returned the smile, he had knowing eyes that looked after Alec as one of the other medics wrapped a blanket over the thin shoulders of the Prince.

One foot before the other Alec was ushered to the surface, and when the cool evening air hit his face he closed his eyes with his head thrown back. The night was scented with the faint hint of the fires, and if he pretended long enough the flashing lights of the cameras could be mistaken for lightning. He was going home.

* * *

**A/N: So I have had the week/weekend from HELL, sooooooo busy I came home Sunday and took such a looooong nap, and now I'm trying to recover from what I did miss. So forgive me if this chapter is a bit of a drag, or small. It was the second part of the last one.**

**Magnus is in a world of hurt when he finds out who is sharing his cell with him. Do you think Alec will ever forgive him? Would you? Things will be pretty bloody and emo for a bit, full of angst, AND the flashback Jem had? One of the last parts of my next Fanfic that I'll post on the Infernal Devices side of it all. I'll have it up by the end of the next two weeks. It will be Jem's story leading up to now, and I have a **_**KILLER**_** idea. **

**So forgive the suck of this chapter, but the last one was so intense that its ok right?**

**Also, I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to reply to your reviews, but know when I was having myself a bit of an exhausted breakdown I was soooooo happy to have them! Light of my day, THANK YOU!**

**I'll have a snippet for the next chapter when you review this time. I need the help motivating me, so thank you!**

**p.s. Follow me on twitter StarryOwlEyes. I follow back!**


	28. 27 Set Fire to the Rain

*****Warning Sexual Content Below*** **

**(That is dedicated to my lover from Poland, DisturbingEmily. I also would like to thank my girl Ky for putting up with me (and my **_**adj.**_** obsession) She's my Boo who has an awesome book blog you should all check out, and an awesome art page. Also Adele's new cd fueled this whole thing. Go get it.)**

* * *

**Chapter 27. Set Fire to the Rain**

I let it fall, my heart,

And as it fell, you rose to claim it

It was dark and I was over

Until you kissed my lips and you saved me

My hands, they're strong

But my knees were far too weak

To stand, in your arms

Without falling to your feet

But there's a side to you

That I never knew, never knew.

All the things you'd say

They were never true, never true,

And the games you play

You would always win, always win.

[Chorus:]

But I set fire to the rain,

Watched it pour as I touched your face,

Well, it burned while I cried

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!

When I lay, with you

I could stay there

Close my eyes.

Feel you're here, forever

You and me together

Nothing gets better

'Cause there's a side to you

That I never knew, never knew,

All the things you'd say,

They were never true, never true,

And the games you play

You would always win, always win.

[Chorus:]

But I set fire to the rain,

Watched it pour as I touched your face,

Well, it burned while I cried

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!

I set fire to the rain

And I threw us into the flames

Well, it felt something died

'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time!

Sometimes I wake up by the door,

That heart you caught, must be waiting for you

Even now that we're already over

I can't help myself from looking for you.

[Chorus:]

I set fire to the rain,

Watch it pour as I touch your face,

Well, it burned while I cried

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

I set fire to the rain,

And I threw us into the flames

Well, it felt something died

'Cause I knew that was the last time

The last time, oh, oh!

Let it burn…

_Set Fire to the Rain, by Adele_

_**A**__lexander..._

Through the nights, the endless rain, and the way the wind carried whispers of years gone, Alec felt as though when he watched it through the windows it somehow didn't exist. If he held his pillow tight enough he wasn't alone, and the tears that wouldn't stop were not real.

_Alex..._

He heard his voice even in his dreams, and through the night he could not contain the broken sobs that sounded like a lone wolf's cry for a moon too far from his reach. He had been _loved_ by the sun, and now the night brought him no comfort. The somber sound of the wind through the half naked trees made his heart ache as they clawed against the glass, like the legs of a thousand spiders that he simply couldn't free himself from. They were the hands that choked him, stole the very air from his chest, but with their budding new leaves somewhere the sound softened as days started to turn to weeks.

During the day, he walked in the light of his grandmother's garden that needed him like the air he breathed. The weeds needed pulled, the flowers fed, and the buds spoken to as often she did; little words of encouragement to help them grow. The world was waiting for his return, but those close to him vowed to keep him from the public until Alec was ready. He was nothing but a ghost of himself, and this all came from the tortures of the night—and a broken heart.

_I will always love you..._

"Stop it." He cried until his body ached, until his throat burned, and until his very muscles became so tight he felt sick. Every time he held his pillow to his chest, Alec felt if only for a moment it was real, and this was when he heard his whispers as if he were in the arms of his love once more. Days passed with empty shallow breaths, and between each one he didn't realize he slept at all. Alec drifted between his days, and his delusional nights. However, each time right before he closed his eyes, Alec drifted somewhere between his drug induced haze into the memory of being 'Home' again.

* * *

**"**_**A**lec," Magnus was dressed again for the night in silk as black as his hair that was down; like Alec loved it. The world outside his room had gone quiet again, and for this he was thankful. After his bath, and the changing of his bandages he was left exhausted, "Don't you want to go home?" Magnus asked as he came to take his seat beside his Prince once again. He knew the drugs Jem had given him were not far from working, and already his beautiful blue eyes were growing heavy once again. However, Alec fought it like he did everything. Magnus had grown to accept this about his young love, and secretly loved him all the more for it. When his fingers came to brush the soft ebon strands from Alec's face, his Prince smiled up to him._

"_I am home." He admitted with a sheepish smile, and a faint rose color filled his cheeks. Magnus prayed he would never lose that sweet boyish smile. He was amazed that even now, after everything, he still held it over his pale lips._

"_No, honey. I mean back to your estate, where all your things are? Home, home, Alec." Magnus raised his hand to brush his fingers down the delicate curves of his lover's face, and Alec sighed happily for the affection._

"_Magnus, when I'm with you I feel like I am home again." If his cheeks were not pink before they were now, "Just like the song." Magnus laughed lightly knowing now the drugs had hold of his love, but somewhere he knew that sweet boy was speaking the truth._

"_The song Alec? What song?" Magnus knew it well, but he wanted Alec to say it. Perhaps, he would even be blessed with a few lyrics._

"_You know..." Alec's pale eyes were so heavy then, and Magnus knew he no longer felt pain. His breaths were coming in long heavy sighs, and there he was again...fighting sleep. "Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again," Alec turned his face into Magnus's hand, and his little whisper of the song wasn't so bad. Magnus' heart swelled hearing it, but Alec's heavy eyes were starting to give in. He was going to leave him again for the rest he needed, and the sleep he fought. "You know it…" Alec breathed, "…Sing it." His gentle command caused him to smile as he took up his lover's slender hand cherishing the way it felt, and he pressed a kiss to Alec's knuckles._

"_Sing it?" Magnus asked smiling behind Alec's hand with a blush of his own, and that made Alec open his eyes once more with a nod. It was his turn to love the color on Magnus' face, and he marveled at how much he was reminded of the younger version he had once known. "You want me to sing, Alexander? Perhaps I should get Jem, you are clearly out of your mind." Alec laughed, but shook his head as he turned his lips to pout. "I know you can...you have sang to me this entire time, when you think I am sleeping." With that Magnus turned a devious smirk on his lover, and narrowed his eyes._

"_You were not supposed to hear that."_

_Alec laughed again as he weakly brought his own hand to touch Magnus' face, and he turned his own into the pillow feeling very warm as the medicine reminded him of how it felt to be in the ocean all day. "Please..." He whispered with eyes closed again, and Magnus knew they wouldn't open until his the medicine wore off._

"_Yes, my love..." He whispered as he let Alec's hand fall softly to the pillow where he curled to his side at best he could, and slowly started the song. It was quiet at first, but rising enough that it would drown out the rest of the room._

_Whenever I'm alone with you_

_You make me feel like I am whole again_

_Whenever I'm alone with you_

_You make me feel like I am young again_

_Whenever I'm alone with you_

_You make me feel like I am fun again…_

_His voice was beautiful, as smooth as a summer breeze, and as free as the trees that dance beneath the sun. His words were rich, with his love as fierce as a distant storm, and his song made Alec feel as if he were unbreakable. Everything else no longer mattered just so long as Magnus was near._

_However far away I will always love you_

_However long I stay I will always love you_

_Whatever words I say I will always love you_

_I will always love you.._

* * *

**"M**mm," Isabelle's lips parted in a moan as her back arched from the willowy soft sheets that held her like chains, as she was tangled within them. "Ah," Her eyes opened as her fingers stretched to only dig further into the bedding, "There." Her ecstasy was on the rise as her moans came heavy and low along with the heat that rushed her body, "Fuck." She hissed then inhaling through her clenched teeth as body shook so much even her ample breasts rose with her orgasm. She brought her own hands to each puckered nipple and tightened her hold as to stimulate her pleasure. She whimpered a few more times watching the woman work her tongue between her thighs. Finally, she cried out and Camille would curl her ruby red lips into an animalistic smirk as she watched her lover convulse with her orgasm.

Isabelle finally collapsed on the red silk of her sheets, but would rise again as a wave of an aftershock took her just as Camille pulled her into her embrace.

"Feel better?" Such a sultry voice that came with age, and at first Camille had felt guilty for taking a teenager beneath her dark ebony wings. However, Isabelle was not so innocent. Hodge had in a strange way did her a favor, for it pushed a girl who was on the fence with her sexuality over to the right side; her side. Yet, even Camille would not accept that. Like Magnus when he had taken Alec, she took of her own Lightwood in secret, and it was in an attempt to keep her sane. Jem had told her of the way he had found Isabelle, and Camille knew she could help where medicine could not. This was about her learning, and growing again after such abuse. Camille made Izzy love herself, while she made love to her, and at the same time fell hard.

It was a very _open_ relationship.

Isabelle had hidden Camille after news of the surfacing went public, and they watched together in horror as the soldiers pulled out the Underground as if they were slaves. She kept her like a pet, and pampered her much the same.

"You know…someday," Isabelle spoke between breaths, "When this is all over, we should force Jem in bed with us." Her own devils smirk over glossy painted nude lips made Camille's heart race.

"As you wish, though...you might want to do a little research on our white haired friend." Camille replied as she rolled to her back, and this caused Isabelle to turn into her.

"Why is he gay?" Isabelle's black eyes reminded Camille of the night sky, as she swore the every star in the black abyss was over powering when she was smiling, and when her question came without missing a beat Camille laughed.

"Heavens no, what made you think that?" Camille asked as she moved from the bed to pour herself another glass of wine, and Isabelle was left there alone; her attention going to the large glass and iron doors that lead to her balcony.

"The way he takes care of my brother...he pines after him as if he is waiting for him to wake up, and every night he sits in the garden below his window with such sadness in his eyes he could make the moon cry." Isabelle moved from the bed slowly, pulling on the sheer pink nightdress, and moving along side her lover so they both could look out the window.

Jem was there, in the heart of the garden with the moon in his hair, and the glow of the night on his skin. He sat with his face fallen, and his hands folded delicately over his knees. He reminded Isabelle of the statues in the garden as she could hardly make out him breathing, but his hair moved in the gentle wind like wild ribbons—his only proof of life.

"Sometimes he will sit out there all night, praying." Isabelle whispered as she brought her chin to Camille's shoulder and pulled her lover's back against her chest. Camille was frozen with her hand to her heart, but she was happy to have her dark haired Princess close. "Where is he from?" Camille shook her head and tried to catch a glimpse of Isabelle over her shoulder, but she was held too tight.

"Nobody really ever knew much about _Jian_, Magnus just brought him home one day. He never really talks much, and when he does its always beautiful. I forever thought him to be an angel sent here from heaven just to remind us that God does exist. Yet, at night sometimes he gets so sick he can't get out of bed. Magnus would never tell me what he was sick with, but his concern was often so overbearing I knew it to be something serious. No one was able to get near him when he was having an attach." Isabelle listened to the story of the white haired boy as if Camille was speaking directly to her heart, and she was in a trance watching his hair dance in the wind. "He feels guilty I'm sure, and this is his way of making up to your brother...watching him like this. Alec will survive so long as Jem is alive, and he won't leave his side."

"Then it will be up to us to get Magnus out."

* * *

**"**_**W**here will you go?" Alec asked as they stood together in the light drizzle of the night, but Jem did not answer with words his face gave it all away. In the way his silver eyes lowered with shame Alec knew he had nowhere to go._

_The flashing lights of cameras from photojournalists, whose images would someday be printed in history books, made the rain appear to still like a thousand diamonds all at once, and only for a single second they appeared frozen around them. Men at arms rushed around them in preparation for the transport of both King and convicted, and the voices that surrounded them sounded so foreign as they all spoke at once. Jem could feel the weight of Alec's eyes as he wanted an answer, but what was he to say?_

"_Where the wind will take me..." He spoke so softly, and pulled his pale lips back into a small warm smile; clearly thankful for the freedom Alec had given him. However, far too proud to admit he would be on his own._

"_You will come with me." Alec's voice didn't leave any room for protest, but the guards that flanked either of his shoulders started to raise their protests in his direction, "He will come with me," Alec narrowed his eyes at them, "And when we get to the Neverfield he will have a room."_

"_Alec." His staff hand started, having only been on the scene for a few moments, but was quickly silenced. Alec turned on that woman, and put his back to Jem as if to take the force of the blow—to protect him._

"_He saved my life. If it wasn't for Mr. Carstairs I would be dead. He was a prisoner down there, and I refuse to see the same thing happen up here." Alec spoke with such a fierce manner that none dare question him, but the conversation went from Jem's fate to his own well-being before Jian could get in his own voice. He was used to having his fate decided for him, but for the first time in years Jem felt that his best interests were to stay at Alec's side. He felt the Prince would need him, as he was pretending to be strong now..but what was to come when lonely nights were far too often? Jem felt he was intruding, and his eyes pulled from the gathering crowd to the world that was being torn apart around him. He watched as the entrance to the Underground was pulled apart and slowly one by one, members were brought up from the darkness. He felt his breath catch as friends were drug one by one from the tunnels, but his heart fell from his chest when they brought Magnus up._

_His form was so broken being forced to find the night on his feet, and the men that escorted him would press him on when his steps fumbled. The gunshot wound had soaked his clothes, but Magnus eyes were burning embers inside his head where the magic worked its way through his blood, like fire. His hands bound behind his back, and his shirt had been pulled up apart in the front where the medic had covered the wound. However, it was clear Magnus was in pain, but when he stumbled forward he wouldn't make a sound. He was a survivor no matter how badly he hurt._

"_Get up!" The guard barked at him there on his knees, but all Magnus would do was raise his eyes to Jem; keeping his gaze low. "I said get up, dog." The soldier forced his foot down in the puddle next to Magnus and splashed his face with the mucky water first then his humility next with his laughter. His black hair, dripping with the dirty water, cast eerie shadows over his face, but when he caught Jem's eyes the white haired boy understood.._

_Take care of him, Jem._

_Magnus's eyes seemed to glow through the rain like the true demon he was, and the red fire in his eyes was proof that his passion still existed. Jem gave a small nod, but soon tensed as Alec's attention turned over his shoulder to see what the eyes of others cast their judgment on. The rain let up them, but the wind came with such a force that Alec felt it the hand of God pushing him forward not to look, but never had he been one to follow the fates._

_Their eyes met, and Jem felt Alec tense. He felt the air grow cold as if the ice that had formed around the young Prince's heart crackled with the pressure of the vessel heating once more, and slowly he inhaled a gasp. Their love was pure, and he would give anything to make Alec understand again. Jem had been surprised by his little outburst when Magnus' life had been on the line, and was ashamed at how quickly he could have condemned Alec then with outing him. The General of his Majesty's Royal Army was standing but a few feet from Alec in the tunnels, and now he was still close enough to witness the exchange. It made Jem nervous, and his stance to tighten as to prepare to fight them all if he had to protect Alec._

_Magnus felt himself forgetting the pain that shot through his arms where the bullet had pierced his shoulder, and he was thankful for the mercy Wayland had showed him. He knew Jace to be a pure shot, this was no miss, but somewhere he felt the golden-eyed General to know their secret. It was torture to see Alec so locked inside himself, so unwilling to break, but he knew he hurt. He was bottling his emotions again, and Magnus wished he could have died right then._

"_Get up you dirty animal." The soldier pulled on Magnus' arm, and Alec's teeth clenched behind his lips. He was so torn. Part of him wanted to tear away the man who held Magnus, and the other wished to defeat the beast himself. Finally, when Magnus was pulled away, Alec stood there and wanted so badly to call out to stop them. He wanted to take Magnus home, and believe—just once that his love really was real. He had to have been real, Magnus had loved him, despite trying to kill him—right?_

_Alec's breath came in heavy gasps, and Jem knew the inner wall was starting to crumble. Like China, he built it to keep out the foreigners, but this was his one weakness. Jem was watching it fall apart. He was so upset, so broken, and the only thing(I would say one here instead of thing) that would ever fix him was going to be locked away forever. Jem touched his shoulder gently, but Alec pulled away as if burned. His skin prickled under the weight of the other's hand, and he felt his stomach turn with the reality of the touch._

"_Don't touch me!" He hissed unaware at how coarse he sounded, but Jem only smiled lightly in his apology. He understood at how much Alec had to be suffering right now. He simply felt horrible there was not much more he could do to make the pain go away. However, the only cure for heartache was to rediscover his soul; what made him happy. He turned again on Magnus like a cobra with its temper flared, "Get out of here!" Jem put up his hand to stop Alec as he started to rush him with fists so tight he knew he would break Magnus' nose._

"_Alexander...I'm sorry."_

"_No. Shut up." He started to fight Jem, to shut him up himself, "Let go." Alec hissed with a wild look in his eye, that would cause Jace to break from the formation and exchange his own arm so Jem could let go, but Alec fought him to until he broke against his chest. Jace put his arm over Alec's shoulder and turned him away from them all._

"_Come on, I'll take you home." Jace ordered the men over his shoulders to take them all to the holding keep, and await further instructions._

_Magnus didn't fight the men who dragged him along, but the war that was within himself. He wanted to scream out to Alec, tell him of his love. He wanted to fall at his feet, and beg for forgiveness. He wanted to kiss him, to touch where his heart was breaking, and make him forget. The desire was so strong that when Magnus wrapped his bloody fingers around the bars of the prison shuttle, he felt as though he could break them._

_However far away I will always love you_

_However long I stay I will always love you_

_Whatever words I say I will always love you_

_I will always love you…_

Alec stopped crying then with that memory, and felt himself go numb. Everything he had ever known of heartache lifted him to the next part of recovery.

_You will cry until you can cry no more, and in the wake of your river of tears you will not feel how cold the salty water has become. You will feel nothing._

Morning came, and with it the sun that marked one more miserable day that moved him through same routine. However, this was part of it all, right? Recovering from heartbreak was never easy, and Alec prayed for the day he would feel _anything _again. All he could do was go through the motions with his own broken promises of survival.

* * *

**A/N: "Wait..where is Alec in the shower?" I had to cut this chapter in half, but since I missed that I will go ahead with the next one now, but you have to look at this picture to really get a good idea of where my inspiration for this scene comes from…Riskmykiss would know. (Take out the spaces)**

**http:/media. comicvine. com/uploads/2/26903/510654-gambit_trial_large. jpg:**

"Look at you…you are an animal." Hodge couldn't see Magnus in the dark cell, but the moon that reflected through the cast iron bars worked eerie shadows over the empty space to outline the chains that held him. The pale light reflected on the bindings so strong they most have thought him a beast who needed broken. "Come into the light, Beast." Hodge's laughter echoed over the stone floor, and caused the puddles to ripple there as his hands took hold of the bars to taunt him like a dog.

Magnus would not move.

When Hodge's eyes adjusted to the darkness he could make out the shadowy figure crouched in the corner, and when the noise from outside passed he could almost hear the deep tremble of thunder inside Mangus' chest that sounded like a low growl.

"That's it?" Hodge sneered as he tried to make out Magnus' face, "Nothing to say now when they have you collared like a dog huh? You know…they will hold you guilty for it all, and I do mean _everything." _Hodge slowly started to pace along side the line of bars, but he still couldn't tell if Magnus even had his eyes open. He had heard rumors once that floods of rage made the Underground Knight's eyes burn like embers in the faces of his enemies. He wanted to provoke him, to test him, but Magnus was strong it would take more then ugly names to wake this beast…but what? Suddenly, Hodge stopped with the answer in his hands, and his smirk curled over his lips…

"Want to hear how I broke their Prince?"

In the dark corner Magnus was hanging there as if his hands were nailed to a cross, but it was chains thick and strong that held him. His black hair dangled over his eyes shadowing his face further from the light, but all it took was that simple question to undo the calm he took pride in. Slowly the closed lids of his eyes pealed back from the burning orbs like the red morning sun rising over the horizon, and the firelight spilled forth as if they were so hot that tears would burn his cheeks should he cry. Hodge's heart stopped, and chills chased his spine.

_Got you…_

**-Want the rest? Review!**

**Also keep an eye out for the sister fic that I have titled Tears of the Moon. It won't be as log, but the story is fun. Also, keep in mind this goes for as long as you review. I'm rounding the edge of the end, but will continue if you so want it.**

**Thank you and have a great week!**


	29. 28 Just To See You Smile Again

**Chapter 28 Just To See You Smile Again**

Is your secret safe tonight?

And are we out of sight?

Or will our world come tumbling down?

Will they find our hiding place?

Is this our last embrace?

Or will the walls start caving in?

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

But it should've been right

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

Let our hearts ignite

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

Are we digging a hole?

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

This is outta control

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

It could never last

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

Must erase it fast

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

But it could've been right

(It could be wrong, could be...)

Love is our resistance

They keep us apart and they won't stop breaking us down

And hold me, our lips must always be sealed

If we live our life in fear

I'll wait a thousand years

Just to see you smile again

Kill your prayers for love and peace

You'll wake the thought police

We can hide the truth inside

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

But it should've been right

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

Let our hearts ignite

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

Are we digging a hole?

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

This is outta control

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

It could never last

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

Must erase it fast

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)

But it could've been right

(It could be wrong, could be...)

Love is our resistance!

They keep us apart and won't stop breaking us down

And hold me, our lips must always be sealed

The night has reached its end

We can't pretend

We must run

We must run

It's time to run

Take us away from here

Protect us from further harm

Resistance!

_~Resistance, by Muse (thanks to **WannabeWriter**)_

**S**omewhere between leaving the Underground and arriving at the prison, Magnus had fallen into a weak state that had the same affects as sleeping without any of the rest. For days he drifted in and out of reality while the pain overran his natural instinct of survival, and he felt himself ready to give in. Physicians came and went like the tide, rising to the shore to meet his demands, but quickly washing away to remind him again that he was in fact alone.

The prisons were so overrun with the likes of him, that he was kept in a hold that was as old as the city, and the cells were barbaric in nature. Worse than any oubliette he had ever suffered, the stone walls had age old marks were men wasted away their lives until they hardened like the iron bars. The footsteps that came and went were the only proof he wasn't forgotten. However, even they became less and less. The pains of hunger surpassed his desire to rest, and his mouth felt so dry he worried that if he spoke his lips would turn to ash. Magnus was not the man to give in so quickly, but without Alec what life was worth fighting for?

'You got a last wish?' Magnus could have sworn he heard someone ask, but even that must have been a dream; they didn't wait for his answer.

"Alec," He started slowly speaking to the shadows on the walls, "Tell him I'm sorry." The night came, and with it Magnus felt relieved that there was nothing save the dark. The medicine they were giving him helped with the pain, and slowly he felt himself on the mend. The prison was so busy during the day that he counted down until the sun finally set, and his solitude was the only thing he had to entertain.

Magnus hadn't lost his desire to survive, but he lost sight of himself. Even now, with one more day gone, and the night never changing—he searched for a way out. He quickly learned the routine of the guard, and studied the weapons they carried when they would escort the physician in and out of his holding. They never came this late, but Magnus could swear he heard footsteps falling across the stone. Perhaps it was simply his dreams coming to haunt him again, but when a voice long and sinister filled the hall he closed his eyes.

"Look at you…you are an animal." Hodge couldn't see Magnus in the dark cell, but the moon that reflected through the cast iron bars worked eerie shadows over the empty space to outline the chains that held him. The pale light reflected on the bindings so strong they most have thought him a beast who needed broken. "Come into the light, Beast." Hodge's laughter echoed over the stone floor, and caused the puddles to ripple there as his hands took hold of the bars to taunt him like a dog.

Magnus would not move.

When Hodge's eyes adjusted to the darkness he could make out the shadowy figure crouched in the corner, and when the noise from outside passed he could almost hear the deep tremble of thunder inside Mangus' chest that sounded like a low growl.

"That's it?" Hodge sneered as he tried to make out Magnus' face, "Nothing to say now when they have you collared like a dog huh? You know…they will hold you guilty for it all, and I do mean everything." Hodge slowly started to pace along side the line of bars, but he still couldn't tell if Magnus even had his eyes open. He had heard rumors once that floods of rage made the Underground Knight's eyes burn like embers in the faces of his enemies. He wanted to provoke him, to test him, but Magnus was strong. It would take more than ugly names to wake this beast…but what? Suddenly, Hodge stopped with the answer in his hands, and his smirk curled over his lips…

"Want to hear how I broke their Prince?"

In the dark corner Magnus was hanging there as if his hands were nailed to a cross, but it was chains thick and strong that held him. His black hair dangled over his eyes, shadowing his face further from the light, but all it took was that simple question to undo the calm he took pride in. Slowly the closed lids of his eyes pealed back from the burning orbs like the red morning sun rising over the horizon. The firelight spilled forth as if they were so hot that tears would burn his cheeks should he cry. Hodge's heart stopped, and chills chased his spine.

_Got you…_

Hodge held his excitement in his closed hand while his heart turned flips in his chest, "What?" He asked slyly as he slowly started to pace before the iron bars, "Did Alec not tell you it all?" He could feel Magnus' eyes on him like a lion in the hunt, and the brush with danger only made him harden with excitement. "How I fucked him until he bled, a-" Hodge wouldn't get to speak another word as an empty tray from Magnus' dinner was flipped across the room, and slammed into the bars. The chains that held him were pulled tight as the Dark Knight tried to get at him, and Hodge swore he could hear the iron crying under the pressure.

"Ohhhh," Hodge laughed his eyes wide, "Is that what it takes to get a reaction out of you?"

"I'll tear you apart." Magnus growled, his face wild with anger, "You sick fuck." His wrists were screaming against the bindings, and every muscle in his arms ached against his hold.

"I bet you'd like to," The aged face of the war veteran pulled into a grin, and held up his hands to cling to the bars between them. Something sparkled there in the light dangling on the edge of his fingers, and when he shook his hand the rattling of keys sang out, "But you see I've got plans for you, and you need these to get out." Hodge was a cruel man, but he was not stupid. He could see the rage written across Magnus' face like red ink across a book. All it would take was one snap of those chains and he would have them around his neck in no time.

Bane had started life in luxury, but over the years he had hardened into what it took to thrive in the streets. He could fight, but with his weakened state he doubted very much he could over power him for very long. Hodge didn't want this fight, but the power nestled inside him that burned for all to see now with his anger. For years he listened to the rumors of the Undergound King, and how he was part demon. He had the power that Hodge wanted, and all it would take was breaking it from him like he did the Prince. He could almost feel the heat coming from Magnus in the way the air was forced in through his lungs, and seethed through his teeth.

"You love him too don't you?" Hodge started rattling the keys along the bars as he went, "Did you know he held onto hope you would come save him? Tell me, Bane. Where is he now? All it would take is one word from him and you would be a free man." Magnus wouldn't answer, but he knew Hodge was right. Alec wasn't coming for him, but it wasn't in his nature to hang onto hope. He just wished that Jem could make Alec understand why it had to be done. He didn't expect to be forgiven, and wouldn't mind to be forgotten. However, Alec had to see that this world needed to change.

Finally, Hodge opened the iron door, and made his way into the den of the beast. Slowly, he carried himself to stand just out of reach of Magnus, who did not once lower his eyes.

_Tiger tiger burning bright.._

"What gives you such power?" Hodge was hungry with it, starved to understand what made Magnus so different, and just as he heard the Dark Knight shift in the chains he reached to touch his face. Magnus could feel his mouth water with the desire to rip it off with his teeth. But when Hodge's devilish smirk was inches from his own lips, with a wicked sneer Magnus pulled his own lips back into a grin. "Something funny?" Hodge asked narrowing his eyes, and was instantly drawn back when Magnus spit in his face.

The King without a crown laughed then while Hodge stumbled to regain his composure, but the fury was unleashed as he pulled his fist back slamming it into Magnus' high cheekbone. Stars erupted behind his eyes, and the burning red light dimmed. However, the hit would not be what brought the darkness, but the needle there in his side.

"You will regret that…" Hodge's words were almost missed as Magnus went slack in the hold.

* * *

**S**pring brought new life to London, with a sky that started over the ocean, but didn't seem to end once it touched the horizon. Distance separated the sun still, but the days were warmer with each easier( I have no clue what ur saying here) than the next. Alec felt himself searching for reasons to escape the estate, and often took to the streets with Jem not far behind. He forced his way through the weeks that had all started to run together, and put on a mask as painted as the ones that littered the streets with the carnivals. With cause to celebrate again the people surfaced unscathed from the fires, as they too were nothing but a memory of the past. Today was brighter not only because the break in the weather, but because hope had returned. All great nations came together after tragedy, and it didn't matter what walk of life—they moved hand in hand to celebrate survival.

The cameras that followed his every step no longer bothered Alec, and he hardly noticed the staring eyes through painted faces with their façade of fake smiles. He could relate to the harlequins as he felt himself forcing through the crowd wearing a mask of his own. Inside he felt nothing, while on the outside it appeared nothing could bring him down. However, the brightly colored costumes, and outlined eyes pulled at his heart while Jem pulled at his arm. They reminded him of Magnus.

"Look! Alec, Zajiyu," Jem's silver eyes filled with life as the acrobats performed in the streets, and Alec was reminded of how the clouds swelled over the moon at night. It was beautiful to watch Jem in the afternoon sun, and Alec was surprised at how pure Jem's excitement was. He watched the way a sense of familiarity spurred him, and watched as everything was forgiven in his world. He felt envious of Jem's happiness, and was thankful his friend no longer carried such sadness. He was reminded of what his grandmother said of her flowers, at how they needed the sun, and he wondered if souls like Jem's could relate. Alec followed Jem's gaze to the performers in the streets with their faces painted in clean lines, and bodies dancing together in formations that were so well practiced they even appeared to breath at the same time.

"They are from Beijing, Alexander, do you see the flag?" Alec wished he could share Jem's enthusiasm, but there was just so much that reminded him of Magnus. It even took him by surprise at how one man very tall like his once lover moved like him.

"Is that close to where you were born?" Alec asked, going through the motions of daily life, and trying to join in the conversation. They were not alone on the streets, and though the men that flanked them were well armed, it seemed almost unnecessary as nobody cared during a carnival. Questions had come and gone about Alec a thousand times, and the media never seemed to get enough. However, he had learned to dodge their prying eyes well, and focused on ways to bring peace to the nations once more. He would not be given his title until he felt ready himself, but nothing could be done without his approval.

"No, but my mother always took me every spring to see the shows." He smiled lightly seeing that Alec was distracted again, but he couldn't blame him. Jem simply wished there was a way to make Alec understand. He wanted to see him smile again, and wanted to hear his laughter. There wasn't much that held interest to Alec's eyes, and Jem watched the way they glazed over with distant thoughts. Jem would simply keep his fingers curled in the bend of Alec's arm as they pressed on. Their quiet footsteps emptied out into the busier streets, and just as Jem worked up the right words to ask about Magnus he watched a small stone bounced off the back of Alec's head.

"Ouch!" Alec hissed turning onto the busy street to meet the dirty face of a girl who could hardly be more than 10. But as her little fist flicked once again, another rock pelted his shoulder. "Hey!" Alec's eyes narrowed, and the guards were quick to come to his side, "Stop her!" He hissed at them while running thin fingers over his shoulder to ease the ache—she had a very clear hit. The chase didn't last long as her shoes were a few sizes too small, and her legs much shorter then the well armed men. Yet, the fight in her didn't stop there.

"Let go of me!" The girl cried, her messy brown hair tied in knots that reminded Alec of the way the little girls wore them on the cartoons he used to watch as a child. Nothing of her clothes matched, and he thought of Isabelle when she was that age, and refused to allow anyone to dress her. "Let go! Stop!" The girl kicked as she was brought before Alec, and her little face scrunched while her eyes narrowed on him, "You are a pig!" She hissed, and Alec was finally able read the name embroidered on her bag_. Kitty_ The guards laughed, but Alec was enchanted. He knew her face, he felt even the way she held her lips tightly against her face was familiar. "You are a stupid man! A stupid stupid man!"

"That's enough child," one guard spoke, demanding her silence while trying to pull her away. Jem gasped quietly behind Alec's shoulder looking up to the much taller frame of the Prince, and Alec knew in his silver eyes he too knew this child.

"Noooo put me down!" She squealed over the shoulder of the soldier as she thrust her fists into his back. The soldier let out a cry of his own and nearly dropped her as she bit him, and he was quick to throw her to the ground. His gun was drawn, but the girl did not once back down. She didn't try to run, and simply sat there willing to take that bullet.

"No!" Alec barked, and the crowd silenced as they watched the commotion. He knew the guard wouldn't have pulled the trigger, but he still didn't need the media catching this. "Let her go. Stand down." He turned to the child then, with eyes narrowing on her as if he were her age again. "What reason do you have to throw a rock like that? Or call me a pig?" She was brave, he had to hand her that. However, now with all the eyes of everyone on her she had lost a little of her fight. "Find her parents." He ordered the guard, and the man would move off.

"You think you are so smart don't you?" Kitty asked in a quiet voice that was still so angry, "You are better then us? You are not. You are stupid!" Alec bent to be eye level with her, but he wouldn't try to reason with her yet. He would in turn simply ask,

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you still have my brother, and you will have him killed." It was clear in the way her lips pouted and her eyes watered that she was not far from crying. She closed her little arms over her chest and sat there stubbornly, "I don't see what he ever saw in you." That Alec had to laugh at, but still he did it quietly.

"Oh? And who is your brother then? I shall have to remind him then, because I could have you arrested right now. Would you like to join him?" Alec's anger was on the rise, but when he felt Jem's cool hand touch his shoulder, he went silent.

"I am of House Bane, and you have my older brother, Magnus." There was so much going on behind all the fires, and Kitty was proof the war still remained. Magnus, had been thrown out of his home for being gay, and Kitty never accepted it as an answer. She often snuck out at nights looking for him, and watched the news everyday in hopes of seeing her beloved older brother. Finally, when the Underground had been surfaced she found him. "My parents told me he was dead, but I knew better. I saw him on the tv, and now you have him. Let him go." The crowd erupted into laughter, but all Alec could do was fight back the panic. Even here, he cursed the fates that made his heart bleed, and he wondered if God was laughing at him now?

"Its not that easy…" He whispered to Kitty, beneath the hum of the crowd that was starting to care less of what the Prince was doing, and back to their own selfish desire to be entertained.

"It is that easy! You have to let him go! He loves you, and you love him too!"

Alec's eyes widened and his jaw tightened before he gave a look to Jem who was already moving to quiet the child. His shoulder felt heavy as the guard touched it to pull him away, and Alec followed reluctantly. He wanted to be free from this horrid place, and home. However, he felt obligated to see that Kitty was sent home safely, but her words made his own fall away.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter is for Kitty Bane, who has been a very faithful fangirl. I wuv her so! Also, I promise the angst is almost over, and I think you will be soooo surprised with what comes next! I'm sure you think you have it figured out, but you just wait..mwhahahahaha**

**I need to thank Ky again for her awesomeness, and you all for reviewing. I held this chapter hostage until I felt everyone had a chance. I'll do the same for the next, and I SWEAR Alec's shower scene? It's coming. I'll go ahead and give you a teaser:**

Alec turned into Jem's chest, and the white haired youth wrapped his arms around him not carrying of the water that was soaking his clothes. He held the Prince against him swaying softly like a tall oak deeply rooted to the earth, but willing to bend to accommodate the wind.

"I can't feel anything anymore." Alec whispered against Jem's shoulder, his face buried in his neck, "Make it stop, Jian…please make it go away." His voice was pathetic on his pale pink lips, and when Jem brought his thin fingers to touch Alec's hair he returned with words as soft as sweet whispers.

"I don't know what else I can do for you, Alec. I have tried everything." He was a healer, and deep down it broke him to not be able to fix this one thing. No amount of his studies could mend a broken heart, nor was there a pill he could prescribe to make it all go away. The only true medicine was time, and the only instant cure was Magnus. However, Jem worried that without that love, Alec would die.

Alec closed his eyes when Jem ran his fingers through his hair, but straightened his stance to tower over the white haired youth once again. When he opened his eyes again he felt his heart swell seeing the way the water ran over the ink black lashes of his friend, and felt his heart burn with desire. Alec had never realized how much shorter Jem was, or how sturdy his body was until he felt strength hold him as if he were afraid to let go. A moment of silence passed between them, but neither were willing to let their eyes fall from the other. However, when Jem ran his hands over Alec's bare chest he let his eyes fall to watch as his fingers trailed along Alec's thin shoulders, but when his chin was captured in Alec's hand he wasn't prepared for the demand to follow.

"Kiss me."

**O.O Oooooooooh snap! How do you think that's going to go? Don't be too upset, it has a bigger purpose.**

**Reviews get updates faster! **

**Also, first part of the Jem/Will fic is close to being finished. It goes along with this fic, but tells Jem's story of his years at the University. This was while Alec was a student as well, and Magnus was just getting his start. Should be up within the next few days. I'm going to put it on the ID side of the fanfiction page, but if you add me to your favorite author list it will let you know when its up. Here is a snippet:**

_Suddenly, men raced by his door with rifles in hand, and Jem felt his breath catch in his chest until they passed. Slowly, he eased back into his seat when the shadows of the soldiers were long gone, and he knew he would simply have to learn to accept the armed guards were there as protection. However, he was certain he could never understand a place where guns held such power over people. Jem hated that they were needed at all, and along the way wondered what was so horrid about this nation that made the people so unhappy. Had the war been that unkind? So far the country had been beautiful, but just when his silver eyes started to settle again on the small town outside of his next stop he thought he heard the train put on its breaks, but soon realized the horrid sound came from outside. _

**Night and thank you! Please review!**


	30. 29 Look in the Mirror

**Chapter 29. Look in the Mirror**

_You were so young, and I guess 'Im old_

_Open your eyes, I keep mine closed_

_I prefer standing, and you take your seat_

_I'll be wide awake, you'll be asleep_

_And you fall down a hole_

_That's the one place we both know_

_You take me with you if you could, but I wouldn't go_

_I guess that sometimes we both lose our minds_

_Find a better road_

_I can be pensive, you can be so sure_

_You'll be the poison, you'll be the cure_

_I'm alone on the journey, I'm alive none-the-less_

_And when you do your very worst_

_Mmm...It feels the best_

_And you'll fall down a hole_

_That's the one place we both know_

_You take me with you if you could_

_But I wouldn't go_

_I guess that sometimes we both lose our minds_

_Find a better road_

_And you fall down_

_That's the one place in this world that we both know_

_You take me with you if you could,_

_If you could I'd lose everything_

_Can't you see the faces melting, _

_As the sun races from their eyes_

_Who are you to keep your head, _

_With the hearts that you hang behind_

_Look at yourself,_

_Look in my mirror_

_Don't you see a lie_

_That you tell yourself again a thousand times, _

_And the truth that makes us laugh_

_Will make you cry_

_You wanna die? No?_

_...Til you fall down a hole_

_That's the one place we both know_

_You'd take me with you if you could_

_But I wouldn't go_

_Because sometimes..._

_We both lose our minds..._

_Find the better road..._

_The Poison, by the All American Rejects_

* * *

_**A**lec…Alec I'm sorry._

**M**agnus was dreaming, shifting through his reality in the unease of what the future held. He couldn't care anymore if he lived, and without the will to survive he felt himself unwilling to thrive. What kept him alive was the thought to kill the man that held him. Every time Hodge spoke Magnus bared his teeth in a hiss.

"You know I held him right where you are," the aged voice of the demented old man pooled through the air like smoke rising to fill his lungs, "That blood there…" Hodge ran his oily hands over Magnus's neck, but let his eyes fall to where his feet were positioned over the stain of red on the stone. "Is where he cried for you. Where I broke him in for you." Hodge's harsh fingers collected Magnus' chin jerking his face up as he dangled there with his hands bound above his head.

Magnus tore his eyes from Hodge to watch the outlines of bodies in the shadows swaying back and forth slowly. The dungeon held more than the dead, but he didn't feel the life in them anymore. He knew they were not human, not anymore, but whatever they were, Magnus wished they had stayed in the dark. Their movements were tormented, and their twisted mouths were so dry their lips were cracked. Their eyes were sunk in, and the whites had filled with black as their irises were filled with ink that had spilled.

"My subjects," Hodge smiled as the mangled forms of what was left of the men started to move forward, "Starved." He ran his thumb over Magnus' lips, until his prisoner's burning red eyes bore hatred in his own.

"What did you do to them?" Magnus asked struggling against the chains, and Hodge laughed.

"They are experiments." He explained, "Many years of research, and a little black magic. They are drawn to you…look." Magnus watched as the figures came closer, but wouldn't say anything. Hodge's voice filled the silence, "They are the New World Order," He held up a little vial containing a deep dark red liquid before continuing, "It's a plague, Magnus, and when this sickness breaks out the world will bow down for the cure. And thanks to you, we couldn't have done this alone."

"We?" Magnus brought his eyes back to Hodge, and the sinister laughter of the crazed old war veteran sent chills down his spine.

"Where there is one there is always another. A master, and an apprentice." (May the 4th be with you) Hodge ran his hand down Magnus' chest, "If you survive this I'll let you meet my master, but I have a royal family to finish off. Wonder if Alec will die as swiftly as his grandmother." Hodge moved across the room then, and took the whip from the walls. The deformed zombie like men, in their drug induced state, jumped at the crack of the leather tip, and made their way to the Dark Knight.

* * *

**H**ot water burned his skin until there was nothing left of the horrid ache of feeling so dirty. Never, had he felt he could properly get clean, and would often scratch at his skin until the vessels beneath burst an ugly blue beneath his almost transparent flesh. For weeks he had been like this—destroyed, devoured, and completely hopeless with the sorrow that ached inside his chest. Alec had learned to wear his masks well, and often felt as if he could take his emotional faces off to hang them on the walls along side the ever smiling. For the world he was happy, content, and devoted to this nation. However, behind the curtain he had fallen apart, and now in the steaming room of his suite he hardly noticed the blood running down his fingertips.

It would be easy, he thought, No body would know until it's too late. The blood would run away with the water, and he would not leave a mess. Alec looked down to where his nail had scratched over the vein of his wrist, and started to look further into his surroundings for a way out. He felt himself breaking over and over again while his fingers shakily went for the razor that was rusted forgotten in the corner.

Alec ran his hand down his face sobbing into it, wanting nothing more then to let it all go. He didn't want to feel so dirty anymore. He didn't want to feel as though he had to give in. He was going to be responsible for the death of hundreds, and he felt guilty for only caring about one. The media had picked up on what the girl had said so carelessly in the park, and story after story ran with his downfall.

The light of the windows there in the bathroom was flooding the room with the rich pure overcast light that made him feel as though he were in a hospital. Nothing seemed familiar anymore, and deep down he was going crazy. He had lost his mind, and felt Hodge's fingers on him probing his body until he couldn't breath. He felt Magnus' hands trying to sooth, but at the same his betrayal had come just as strong.

I can't do this anymore, Alec sobbed turning his wrist over, and the blue vein beneath his pale skin throbbed. The water drowned out all the sound, save for his heartbeat, and with it he wouldn't hear the gentle footfalls of his friend. He didn't hear Jem stepping out of his shoes, nor the way he opened the glass door. All Alec felt was his cool calm hands touch his naked back and slide around his hips. He let his head fall back, and lowered it against Jem's still clothed shoulder, and his hands went slack to his sides while his back pressed to Jem's chest. Still he cried, despite the fingers that slowly made their way to his hands, and where one tangled with his own the other would remove the razorblade from Alec's palm.

Alec turned into Jem's chest, and the white haired youth wrapped his arms around him not carrying of the water that was soaking his clothes. He held the Prince against him swaying softly like a tall oak deeply rooted to the earth, but willing to bend to accommodate the wind.

"I can't feel anything anymore." Alec whispered against Jem's shoulder, his face buried in his neck, "Make it stop, Jian…please make it go away." His voice was pathetic on his pale pink lips, and when Jem brought his thin fingers to touch Alec's hair he returned with words as soft as sweet whispers.

"I don't know what else I can do for you, Alec. I have tried everything." He was a healer, and deep down it broke him to not be able to fix this one thing. No amount of his studies could mend a broken heart, nor was there a pill he could prescribe to make it all go away. The only true medicine was time, and the only instant cure was Magnus. However, Jem worried that without that love, Alec would die.

Alec closed his eyes when Jem ran his fingers through his hair, but straightened his stance to tower over the white haired youth once again. When he opened his eyes he felt his heart swell seeing the way the water ran over the ink black lashes of his friend, and felt his heart burn with desire. Alec had never realized how much shorter Jem was, or how sturdy his body was until he felt strength hold him as if he were afraid to let go. His desire ran hot, and his desperation clear. Alec was willing to do anything to feel again.

"Kiss me…" Alec whispered, and Jem's breath caught in his chest while his thin fingers came to touch Alec's chest. He opened his eyes to look at the Prince, and was suddenly jealous of the water that was rolling between them. Jem felt Alec's arms tighten around him, and he pulled him closer while his fingers tangled in his soaked clothes. Jem knew there wasn't anyway out of this embrace, and somewhere…deep inside him, he didn't want to leave it. Alec reminded him of William so much sometimes it hurt. Their eyes were the same color, and both blessed with silken black hair that fell around their faces like faint shadows. Will was taller then Alec, but the Prince held strength in his body that Will never had. The sickness had set in too soon.

Alec studied Jem, and found it beautiful with the way a small blush colored his face. He loved the way his fingers curled over his own bare chest, and the way he could almost feel his nerves tightening in his stomach. The water in the shower had long gone cold, and quietly Jem pressed into Alec to reach around him to turn off the water.

"You are shivering," Alec whispered closer now he could feel his own breath catching as Jem pressed his cheek against his pale lips, and held it there while he closed his eyes.

"You do not want this, Alec." Jem whispered as he trailed the tips of his fingers over the smooth skin of Alec's chest, and he curled in further to the Prince. Alec couldn't tell if Jem shivered from his wet clothes, or from the nerves that fired timidly through his body. Whatever it was, Alec held him tighter, and brought one hand to cup Jem's face before parting his lips to whisper in the damp strands of moonlit silver,

"I don't know what I want anymore." He started with so much conviction in his voice, and Jem wondered if there was a part of him still trying to convince himself he was even awake, "I'm so lost, Jian..." Water still slowly fell over Alec's brow, but Jem didn't need him to open his eyes to know those were tears washing away to the drain, "Please." He begged, and bent his head to press his lips against Jem's own.

Jem ran his frail fingers over Alec's thin face, his warm palms cupped either side before his thumb brushed over his pale lips, and finally he tipped forward on this toes in an attempt to reach Alec's kiss. At first Alec stood frozen, searching for the familiar, while living in the way his heart started to pound again. He could feel Jem's pulse when his cool hands came to collect around his neck, and could feel his breath warm against his neck as it chased away the chills, while fire burned spine. He felt his fingers tighten around Jem's hips, and his thin boney sides gave way to a lovely dip that Alec figured a hand to perfectly fit. The distance felt strange, awkward, and both of them hesitant on where to go next. Jem was so much shorter then Alec, that when he stumbled on the tips of his toes, Alec was there to catch him with arms that could hold back the sea, and finally their lips came together.

Jem gasped against Alec's lips, and when he pressed his hands to Alec's chest his body spoke of what they shouldn't, while his lips wrote sonnets against Alec's skin. He felt as though he needed something to hold onto, to cry out into, or something even to pull them apart. He felt dizzy, weak, and heated despite the way his body shivered. Alec was everything a young man should be, and Jem would have lied if he didn't enjoy his kiss. However, he couldn't help being reminded of the way William came home after his wild nights this desperate, and wondered if Alec was thinking of Magnus too.

Magnus was all Alec ever thought about.

Alec thought of how much taller his lover had been, at how it was his neck that was bent back as his lips caressed his own, and how his body was the one pressed against every curve while he fed on the innocent being beneath him. He thought of how easy he went into submission with Magnus, and he thought of their first kiss. The club lights, and the music all came back in a blur. They had been the only two in a room full of strange faces, but here alone with Jem, Alec felt as though even the walls would talk.

A low moan escaped Jem's lips that tasted of honey, and Alec inhaled sharply to catch his breath up with his heart. Jem's skin smelled of sweet jasmine, and even through his wet clothes he could feel how youthful he remained. He was like an innocent flower, which far too often was rumored of his plucking, but here in his arms Alec wondered if anyone had ever kissed Jem like this. It was as if he was radiating the warm glow of the pale moon from his skin as he hummed against Alec's kiss.

Alec was furious of the distance between them, and forced Jem to back out of the shower. Never once would their lips part, but when the marble wall found them Alec lifted his partner to the polished stone countertop of the grand bathroom. The motion forced Jem's legs to wrap around his hips, and his back to press against the mirror. His hands explored feverishly, tearing at buttons along the way, and despite Jem's careful protest he managed to open his shirt.

"Alec..." He breathed tipping his head back while the Prince started to trail a fierce line down Jem's neck, but when he felt Alec's fingers starting to undo his belt his own came quickly to stop him, "Alec stop. We can't." His voice sounded strangely sober, as if all the passion had had turned to fear, but Alec ignored it. He continued to explore the body beneath him, sucking on tender places of his neck that would soon bring a rise back in the moonchild. "Alec…Mmm, Alex." Jem's eyes closed against as he pressed his hips forward wanting Alec to go further, and realizing how badly he too wanted that lonely ache to lift. "Alec my sickness…don't."

"I don't care," The Prince countered his partner's protest, as he returned to his lips in a kiss more passionate then the last that made Jem gasp for air as he finally came back to his senses. When they broke Jem's fingers pulled on Alec's shoulders.

_Again..._

"No." He spoke firmly taking hold of Alec on both sides of his arms to stop him, and Alec slowly brought his face to meet his own, "There isn't a cure." Jem continued in a whisper, and he felt Alec lean into his hands. The world was spinning, and Jem tried to catch his breath.

"I know," Alec whispered darkly, "I want to die." The world came crashing down, and when Jem's silver eyes looked at him for what seemed eternity, Alec felt as though he stood before God being judged. He had never felt so wrong, and for the first time in their entire history of being friends Alec knew what anger looked like over Jian's beautiful features.

Jem pushed him back, but with restraint. Alec could tell that he was holding back his rage, but he doubted very greatly it would be for long. Finally, when he pulled his shirt back up over his shoulders he gave Alec a dark look through his white hair.

"You know…for one so beautiful, you are so stupid." Jem's accent always came out heavier when he was angry, and Alec could hear the Asian song on his voice like a sigh. "You are so much like him…" He hissed looking at Alec now as if he was staring at the shadow of a man he once knew, "You both can not see two feet before your eyes." Jem stretched his toes to the floor once more to pull himself from the counter, and he moved to brush past Alec.

Alec shot out a hand to catch him, but Jem pulled away quickly as he turned on him like a viper, "Magnus loves you!" Jem shouted clutching his shirt closed over his chest, "He was so madly in love with you that he will die for you, and now he needs you. He is alone, and afraid. Afraid he will never get to see you again, and Alex that is a very real fear." So many emotions played in Jem's voice that Alec wondered if he too was a master at keeping them hidden—to only burst once opened. "He is alone! He is in pain, and YOU are too busy here feeling sorry for yourself. He would come get you. He would pull you out of everything!"

"He put me there!" Alec shouted back, but Jem ran at him with such force that when his fingers dug into his chest it stole his breath.

"He was defending us! Us forgotten. People who were thrown out because we were sick, or not good enough. I was THIS close to graduating." Jem held up his fingers to indicate how little there was left, "Graduating to be a Physician like my father. I did NOTHING WRONG." He cried, "Nothing!"

Alec thought back of their time at the University, and at how great of a student Jem was. He would have made a wonderful doctor. The boy Jem was often seen with was long gone by the time Alec got there, but he heard the story was tragic. He knew Will to have been a very poor student, that Jem often did most of his work so he wouldn't fail everything, and when he wasn't drunk he was high off some sort of drug. Alec wondered what it was Jem ever saw in him, but seeing him this upset he wondered if there was ever anything at all between them.

"He tried to imagine a world without you, and fought for you. Fate brought you together Alec, and your stupid pity is keeping you apart." Jem touched his chest to indicate his heart was hurting, and with that his face fell lightly. However, he gathered himself with a heavy breath, "Hodge has him, Alex."

Alec froze; even the breaths in his chest couldn't be forced out, "What?"

When Jem opened his eyes once again he straighten his stance, "That is what I was coming to tell you. He broke into the prison, and took him." Jem watched as Alec warred with himself, and even now he worried Alec was far too gone to care.

"Kidnapped him or rescued him?" Alec snorted his answer, and turned away from Jem to pull on his pants.

"I do not think there would have been so much blood had it been a rescue mission, Alex. He is out there in that monster's hands, suffering the same fate you once were given. No body can give the order to go after him, but you."

"My entire country has been looking for that horrid man. What makes you think they will work any harder if I tell them to? No one knows where he is, or where he is hiding. No one knows how he got in here, or where he took me. I don't remember anything, and what I do I try not to." Alec tried to breath again, but the thought of Magnus always stole the air from his lungs. Jem didn't seem to notice, and if he did he was done caring. He loved Alec dearly, but it was time for him to wake up.

"If you will not do it him, do it for me. I owe him my life, and you owe me yours." With that Jem turned from Alec, giving him a shoulder colder then what Alec thought hell to be; a fire so hot, that froze so deeply.

Alec was left alone with his reflection, staring down a boy hardly a man that was supposed to be a great King, who has been schooled for this, and lectured on ways to someday turn this all around. However, all Alec could see was a coward, who was afraid to face the fact that he was in love with the enemy. His fists balled up with rage, and he tasted iron inside his lips where he bit the inside of his cheeks. He felt himself ready to explode, there in the middle of the bathroom half dressed, he would. His empty palm collected the iron soup dish to slam it into in the center of his reflection. The glass of the large mirror shattered, falling against the stone like rain, and it sounded like a thousand notes struck all at once. However, none of it rained forward, instead the black hole of the room behind it sucked in the glass through the throat of the tunnel.

Alec stared for a moment the space where the mirror had once been, and move his bare feet forward. The glass did not threaten his steps for it had all gone the other way, and Alec knew instantly his fate was changing. There was a room beyond that mirror, one that led to a set of stone stairs, and for an instant he thought he could hear the lashing of a whip in a memory all to clear.

_Magnus…_

His eyes danced around the room, and down the hall where the walls of his bedroom were lined with ancient weapons…

* * *

**A/N: And that my friends shall end the angst. I know…I know…its been a long road no? Trust me its all action from here, with an ending I think you will be very…surprised in? Disappointed? However, its set up for a Part 2, and Part 2 I will give you a hint of what its like. Go to youtube and type in Wonderland by Natalia Kills. Watch that, and that is Part 2.**

**Also, HUGE shout out to everyone on Twitter who has been super awesome. If you follow me starryowleyes let me know who you are so I can follow back, but the bigger thank you goes to my girl Ky. I wuv you!**

**Jem story also has been posted, and keep in mind this follows his sickness more then it does the rebellion. It can be found here:**

**http:/www. fanfiction. net/s/6969090/1/**

_"At home I'm considered beautiful. I'm cherished because I'm different. It is not weird." Will could tell he had offended Jem, and almost laughed. He thought of every other Chinese man he had ever met, and how they had all resembled the same stereotype; ink black hair, and round almond eyes. Yet, when he watched Jem tuck his hair behind his ear he could almost hear the insecurities in the lull of his voice, _

_"It's just a birth defect." He spoke quietly, "I was born this way." Jem looked up just in time to see a tall man with sparkling spikes as hair that glittered in the sunlight, that were dyed different colors, but no one paid any attention to him. Was he weird too? No one stared at that man like they were his own image, and Jem felt the weight of their gazes like anchors, "Can we just go? Please."_

**Please review, it pushes me further, and for a Gemini its important.**


	31. 30 The Pit and the Pendulum

**Chapter 30. The Pit and the Pendulum**

_They appeared to me white - whiter than the sheet upon which I trace these words - and thin even to grotesqueness; thin with the intensity of their expression of firmness - of immoveable resolution - of stern contempt of human torture. I saw that the decrees of what to me was Fate, were still issuing from those lips. I saw them writhe with a deadly locution. I saw them fashion the syllables of my name; and I shuddered because no sound succeeded. I saw, too, for a few moments of delirious horror, the soft and nearly imperceptible waving of the sable draperies which enwrapped the walls of the apartment. And then my vision fell upon the seven tall candles upon the table. At first they wore the aspect of charity, and seemed white and slender angels who would save me; but then, all at once, there came a most deadly nausea over my spirit, and I felt every fibre in my frame thrill as if I had touched the wire of a galvanic battery, while the angel forms became meaningless spectres, with heads of flame, and I saw that from them there would be no help. And then there stole into my fancy, like a rich musical note, the thought of what sweet rest there must be in the grave._

_**~The Pit and the Pendulum, by Edgar Allan Poe (1850)**_

_**http:/poestories. com/read/pit**_

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_**H**__e was a child in the arms of a killer, kept at fingers length with the hilt of the sword fumbling against his wrist. Alec had never been very good at this, far too sensitive to ever be in a real fight, and he was too awkward to fight for show. He felt as though he would be laughed at no matter how he was respected. Children were cruel and with his adopted brother excelling as quickly as he did in modern weapons how was he to ever live up to their expectations._

_Gunshots fired at once, in a clear attempted burst, and Alec's attention went to his younger sibling who stood at the end of the arena with his admirers falling at his feet. He was beautiful, even now with the gun barrel smoking. Jace was only a few years younger then Alec, but already he had the confidence of a man. His body developed fast, though Alec was taller, Jace was built strong with good sturdy shoulders that were squared over broad back._

_Everyone loved Jace, and watching him now it was easy to see why. His manners were even tempered, and his smile warm, inviting. The men respected him for his awards, the girls fawned about his feet, and Alec watched, as a thirteen-year-old boy became a man in the eyes of their mentors._

"_He's very talented," Hodge spoke from over Alec's shoulder while he pulled on his fencing gloves, and did up the laces underneath his wrists. Alec jumped at the sound, and was reminded of what always made him fear his instructor. Hodge stood over him like a giant, his body a heavy shadow blocking the sun that colored Jace's hair, and there was something about the way he looked at him that always sent chills to chase his spine. "He would be a very good voice in the world, but he's lacking one thing." He trailed off moving to the wall where the practice foils were kept, and started on his selection._

_Alec straightened his stance, and folded the foil to his chest while his eyes moved from Hodge back to Jace. He loved to watch the sun filter in through the windows of the arena and wash his hair in a bright, brilliant, light. He was so beautiful._

"_He lacks the title, Alec. No matter how good he gets in his studies, he'll never be anything more than a foot soldier." Hodge's words were cold, bitter-as if he himself had lived that life, and Alec wondered how much he could think badly of Jace—wasn't he a veteran of the war? Alec traced his eyes back to his instructor who still eyed the blades with such a selective manner that Alec feared Hodge to take this too seriously. When was he ever going to use this in the real world? Guns were the only weapons anyone ever used, and he felt it was time he learned._

"_I think it is stupid that you still have me doing this." Alec tipped the foil up, and the silver edge glinted in the light, "When will I get to learn to use a gun?" He didn't have time to even move before Hodge was on him like a wolf on its prey. Fiercely he slashed at Alec with that crazed look of anger that far too often made Alec fearful for his life._

"_When you are a man, and can survive this." Hodge hissed, meeting Alec's block with another attack. In a matter of moments Alec was upon his back with Hodge standing over him with the tip of the foil to his throat. "You see," he said in a strangely sober voice, "I've already killed you with a blade…you wouldn't stand a chance against a gun." As quickly as the tip brushed his skin it was gone again, and Hodge glared down at the young Lord, "Now get up, and defend yourself. Men like Jace won't be there to save you all the time." Alec's eyes stole to where Jace was watching with a small smile before he shrugged to Alec as he returned to his target._

_Alec's eyes narrowed, and he stood to fight again._

* * *

**S**omewhere through the years, Alec had hardened into a man. He had grown into his long arms, and tall frame until the sword that rolled over his wrist no longer felt heavy or awkward. His muscles cried out beneath the weight of the blade, but he was ready—pushed by adrenaline, and driven to the sounds beneath. There had not been time to call his guards, but he prayed the sound of the falling glass had alarmed them. Alec moved without thought, traveling down the vacant dark hallway with skin still moist from the water of his shower, and his bare feet moving over the stone. He had thought of the sword, but not of himself.

The bastard sword had a broad handle with a double-edged blade that had been so sharp once it had cut his grandmother's drapes in his fits of childhood laughter. They had been pirates that night, he and Jace, bouncing from one bed to the other as if they were ships. The 'sails' had been caught by a very real blade in their make believe world, and Alec's grandmother had forbidden it ever to be removed from the wall again.

Alec moved with the grace of a panther stalking through the night, his large open eyes taking in every dark corner while his body remained alert. He felt as though he could still find Magnus even when with his eyes closed, as now every muscle ached to find his love. It was a very primal need that fueled his footfalls, and heated his blood. Alec was born for this, and somewhere between his awkward teenage years until now—he had become a man.

The tunnels turned so deep in the earth he felt his bare skin prickle with the chill of the world without the sun, but still he pushed on. It wasn't until a fork on the path would he stop long enough to feel his heart pounding in his chest. The cold tips of his wet hair curled over his neck, and chilled his shoulders; all he could think of was Magnus.

_Alec…_

He heard a voice haunt the path into the dark, and his breath caught in his throat.

_Magnus…where are you?_

He felt his soul speaking for him, while his lips remained a flat dangerous line over his face, and his jaw set so tightly that even the flames flickering in the dark hissed in fear of Lord Lightwood. In all his glory he had never been portrayed so fierce. He was the sweet gentle grandson who tended his grandmother's roses while painting her trees, but seeing him now the ancient spirits whispered of the destruction to come.

* * *

Their fingers, lifeless and cold, numbed his skin where they probed, clawing at him until his skin burned from their flaking nails. Their skin was yellow, their eyes black, and Magnus felt his whole body quake at the exertion of their mangled hands. Everywhere they closed in around him with lips cracked and ashy. Their teeth were rotting in mouths that never closed, and their moans made his skin crawl. He felt sick, his whole body shook while beads of sweat rolled down his forehead mixing with tears from his panic. He would have taken that whip, he would have taken Hodge, but this was torture. This would be his undoing. It was fear that stole his breath, and their hands that stole his soul.

The listless bodies seemed envious of his heart, and clawed at his skin to get to it, while their blank gaze seemed eager enough to take from him his very conscious mind. Magnus felt as though at any moment he would be surrendered to his fate, as slowly his mind was breaking down—his strength was crumbling. He had always been the one to hold everything together, but now he was the one falling apart.

Everything came crashing down at once, and in their harsh hands he was reliving it all again. He thought of his parents disappointment, he thought of the streets that swelled like the ocean to take him in, and he thought of the downfall of it all. He thought of those who lived beneath, who gave him strength to continue, and who would die at the hands of another for simply being their true selves. Magnus thought of the blood of the once true King, and then he thought of the blood at his feet. This was what broke him—he thought of Alec, and his sobs passed over his lips as he sucked in a breath.

_Alec, God, please… _He cried lowering his head, and his eyes suddenly burned with blood as it trickled down his brow from fingers that dug into his hair. _Protect him. Tell him how sorry I am. I love you. I never meant to hurt you._ He chanted over and over again quietly in his mind trying to hold onto his sanity, but even with his eyes closed he could not escape these tortured souls.

"No!" Alec shouted while the sword swung like a pendulum in an ancient clock that had been wound for the first time in a thousand years. The phoenix awakened in him, with fire and ash burning as he went. The lifeless bodies did not die when they hit the ground, but the black blood that gurgled in their throats stole their breath. He felt as though he were in a dream, one that was so real his body would wake sore, but when Alec went for his third kill he knew he was awake. He had come a long way since fencing, but even this much primal urge to destroy couldn't be atoned to his lessons. He was driven by passion.

Every break in the fight he would steal a glance at Magnus whose eyes were only open part of the time, and his heart would push him further in. He could see the fear and panic on his once lover's face as if he could read a few lines from an Edgar Allen Poe poem. One glance Magnus was watching him with hope built in his gaze, and the next his eyes were closed so tightly that Alec knew he was terrified. It was as if Magnus tried to make himself believe Alec was really there.

"Magnus, hang on!" He shouted right before the edge of his blade was lifted in a slash across one of the necks of the soulless men, and Magnus opened his eyes again watching Alec as he fought his way through the goblins. It was beautiful, but the sort of beauty one watched from a distance. Every muscle in Alec's upper body was exposed and with the weight of each strike every crevice of the Prince defined. His biceps stretched and pulled with each hit until Magnus was certain he could count each one. Alec's skin, wet from the shower, now glistened from the sweat that built as the tension of the battle heightened, and he had never noticed how beautiful it truly was. He couldn't be real. Alec's ink black hair cast shadows over his eyes as he moved through the bodies, but the instant they flashed towards his he could see the soft sweet blue—he felt home.

"Alec…?" He tested his voice that sounded so foreign in its fear, but the hope that rose in his chest caused his lover's name to burst forth, "Alec!" He struggled in the chains, and he tried to stretch his toes to touch the ground. His arms had gone numb long ago, but now he wanted nothing more then to be free. He could help his Prince, but when he felt hands on his back he froze—they felt warm.

One of the lost souls still looked half alive, with eyes as red as his own, and Magnus felt himself sick when the man came to face him. His skin was part falling off his skull, and his eyes were sunk deep in their sockets. It made Magnus' blood run cold as he felt this man's thin fingers, with skin that flaked in decay, run over the exposed skin of the shirt that hardly covered him anymore. He was taller than the rest, with arms that were the size of Magnus' thighs, and when Magnus closed his eyes again he felt the man's mouth inches from his neck. He knew this was it.

Magnus felt his chest cave in, and his sobs caught in his throat—but the pain never came. He waited to feel that horrid illness go through him, and shook violently in anticipation of his end. The song of the sword was beautiful, but still he waited for his end. All that came was Alec's gentle warm fingers to replace where the harsh hands been. In a kind gentle voice that filled him with warmth again, he called out to him softly.

"Magnus…" Alec's worry was masked well with his desire to calm his lover down. He touched his skin and felt him tremble; the panic in him had yet to subside, "Magnus it's okay. It's okay, I'm here." Quickly Alec looked for a way to get him down, he knew the pain the Dark Knight suffered, and how his arms must ache. The blood worried Alec, but for the most part Magnus seemed okay. He touched his face gently, and his heart broke with Magnus' voice.

"You are real." Alec could tell he was still trying to convince himself, and he was reluctant to let him go. Alec knew he had to figure out a way to get him down, but it was so hard seeing him this way.

"Hold on." Alec soothed as searched for how the chains were connected. In his time here, he had spent so little of it awake, but already the memory had to be choked down. Magnus needed him, and even though his body ached at the thought, he pushed forward. He followed the lines from Magnus' wrists to the hook that held him, and finally the release attached to the wall. Keys dangled there like tiny charms of faith, and Alec felt his heart race.

Finally, after the agonizing groan of the gears turning, Magnus' feet touched the ground. He cried out as his back arched from the ripples of pain that shot through him when his arms lowered, and felt his eyes glaze. He fell to his knees, but before he could slump any further Alec was there to hold him up. His hands still bound, trembled in their confines, and the part of him that was horrified for Alec to see him like this was far too weak to protest. Magnus brought his fingers up to touch Alec's face, but would only make it to his chest before his sobs sank in.

"I'm so sorry," He cried, "I never wanted to hurt you...I was so afraid." Alec could hardly make out Magnus' words, but the cold iron cuff that touched his chest made him pull Magnus in further. Gently he held the Dark Knight's hands with one of his own, and while he worked the key into the cuff he touched his forehead against Magnus',

"I didn't think I'd ever get to see you again," Magnus continued, but fell silent when his eyes closed. Alec kept his temple pressed against his own, but lowered his gaze to get the cuffs off. Once Magnus was free Alec held his wrists gently in his warm palm, and was relieved they had not been hurt badly. Besides his trembling, Magnus seemed to gather his strength being so close to Alec.

"It's okay," Alec soothed as he wrapped his arms around his once love, and ran a hand over the back of his hair, "I'm here now."

"No, it's not okay. Alec, I hurt you. I betrayed the one person I ever loved." Magnus' forehead fell to Alec's shoulder, and he breathed in the scent of his warm neck as he tried to catch his breath from his earlier attach. The panic had cut at him like a knife, but Alec's strong arms held him together. "Please forgive me." Alec sat back on his heels while his hands came to support Magnus' face, and the motion forced him to open his eyes to look at the Prince.

"Don't think about that right now, Magnus. Let's just get through this." Alec brushed his thumb over Magnus' lips, and fought the desire to kiss away his doubts. However, things were not okay between them. What he did was very wrong, and Alec had a lot to live up to. Yet, he knew his heart belonged to this man. It always had, and always will. "Let's just get you out of here. Don't think about that right now, we'll get through this," Magnus felt his heart timidly start again, and tried to push it all from his mind. However, just as he breathed a sigh of relief, sounds of the soldiers came barreling through the halls.

"Alec!" Called the voice of the general, and they both watched as the light from the gun-mounted beam filled the small room. Jace and his team quickly secured the area, and Magnus sheepishly looked up from Alec's shoulder. Alec didn't let him go. "What happened?" Jace asked his eyes going over the bodies until they stopped on the larger man with the sword still in his back. The sight curled his lips back into that arrogant grin he was known for. "_Alexander Lightwood._ Look at what you did." Alec closed his eyes when Magnus melted back into him, and pressed his cheek to the crown of his hair: his arms still holding him tight. The relief was finally starting to sink in-he was safe.

"Yes, Jace," Alec sighed before looking up at his brother, "Easy to be like you when someone I love is in danger." A ghost of a smile touched Alec's lips when he felt Magnus relax against his chest, but they would all miss the tears that fell from the Underground leader's eyes then; happy tears that made Magnus tighten his hold around Alec's neck. His Prince had come for him, and though this battle was over. Magnus knew the war had just begun. "Where is Hodge?" Jace asked a bit more quietly as he directed his question to Magnus.

"He was going to kill the rest of you," Magnus raised his eyes to Jace, and shook his head before setting back to run his hand down his face. His voice was quiet as the exhaustion was starting to set in.

"He could be anywhere," Jace spoke as he looked over his shoulder at the tunnels, and soon fired off orders to his men. "Call for backup, and start checking each tunnel." Jace's eyes fell back to his brother, and quietly he questioned him.

"He needs to see, Carstairs. He may need more then Jem can offer," Alec started to stand, and Magnus tried to follow. However, a wave of dizziness hit him, and he covered his eyes with his hands. Alec moved to take him up, and cradled him to his chest. To feel him there was as if he pulled Poseidon from the sea, but Magnus was so thin he hardly weighed enough to be a God. One of Jace's men moved to help him, but Alec shook his head. He was not about to let Magnus go now, and would carry him until he could go no further; until his arms fell off, and his heart gave out.

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**A/N: I should have warned you Ky about the inspiration for this chapter came from Poe. Thank you, Ky for being so awesome! I owe you my second born child.**

**Though Poe's pendulum was a torture device, could you feel how tortured Magnus was with thinking he wasn't real? And… half naked wet Alec with a sword? Right? ^.^**

**Thank you everyone!**

**Teaser:**

_Jem's hair when wet looked like gossamer webbing, or winter's first frost. Far too often he found himself longing to be free of it, and its horrid differences. He cursed the gods that thought him a humor, and painted his eyes to match his freakish exterior. _

_A child of the moon, they had called him at home, but now what was he here? The Lord King's puppet that was only a toy that was taken from the shelf in mere comfort, and when finished…_

_No. _

_He would not think of Alec that way. Alec was hurting, but now dressed only in the sea-green silk robe the Prince had given him Jem found himself feeling more alone then ever. He had pinned back his hair in the clip that had once been Isabelle's, and the large white flower offset the amber hold perfectly. This was how he always eased his anger. He felt beautiful, and despite his hurt with Alec he was starting to feel himself calm. He was far too angry to care Alec broke the mirror, and refused to allow Alec to see him upset. He would let the Prince calm himself before he would try to reason again, but he had to find a way to get Magnus. _

_With a heavy sigh he sat defeated on the edge of the bed taking up the worn picture that was on his nightstand, and brushing his thumb over the face of the only other set of blue eyes he had ever loved; Jem then lost himself in his thoughts, but found them broken again with the slightest sound of something on the other side of the wall._

_Easily Jem could have pressed it from his mind, thought it only to be a mouse caught in the wall, or perhaps a bird caught in the chimney. However, the sound became louder, and a man's voice cursed in eerie chants that would soon open the hidden passage. A door behind the massive empty fireplace gave way in small traces of light, and expelled pure evil from its hold._

_"Mr. Carstairs…my what a pleasant surprise, we meet again."_

_Jem lowered the picture to his side, and pressed the panic from his chest. Hodge was between him and the door— there wasn't a way out._


	32. 31 Judas Is Rising

****Warning Adult Content Below, Mostly in A/N, and a racial slur that I fought hard with even putting on there. I am in no way racist it just really needed to happen, so if any are offended please forgive me.****

**This chapter is dedicated to Ky whose story 'Depths of the Heart' is boss. Pirate Magnus, Mermaid Alec…it's a win win situation. GO check it out in my favorites list. She has also been super great with helping me, and fixing my mistakes—pushing me further. *smacks around***

**Chapter 31. Judas Is Rising**

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

~Robert Frost

_**"Y**ou like to feel pretty don't you?" Isabelle asked once; her voice warmer than he had ever expected, and he gave a small nod admiring the white flower clip she put in his hair. The Princess, had become a dear friend, and it surprised him at how affectionate she was. Isabelle had always been the fierce one, but that night in the hospital gave her new meaning. She had sworn him to secrecy, and found a friend in Jem. She vowed to return his kindness, but Jem had to wonder how much her relationship with Camille had to affect it all. Under the true palm of a tiger Isabelle had become—tamed._

_Her love with the twilight daughter ran rampant through the streets as the media ate it alive. It sickened Jem to think of the priorities people had, but anymore he wasn't surprised. The world was falling apart, and all they could focus on was the love affairs of the Princess? Pathetic. Thankfully, Alec's were still kept quiet, and for this he was pleased, because he doubted very seriously Alec could handle the constant pressure of the public. The stress of his responsibilities already weighed heavy on his heart._

_"Keep it," She smiled, "Think of it as a token form taking such good care of my brother."_

* * *

**T**hat day in Isabelle's mirror he had hardly recognized himself, but standing now before his own there wasn't anything that made him feel beautiful. His hair, when wet looked like gossamer webbing, or winter's first frost, ugly, cold. Far too often he found himself longing to be free of it, and its horrid differences. He cursed the god that thought him a humor, and painted his eyes to match his freakish exterior. A child of the moon, they had called him at home, but now what was he here? The Lord King's puppet that was only a toy that was taken from the shelf in mere comfort, and when finished…?

No-he sighed.

He would not think of Alec that way. Alec was hurting, but now dressed only in the sea-green silk robe the Prince had given him Jem found himself feeling more alone then ever. He had pinned back his hair in the white, and the large white flower offset the amber clasp perfectly. Jem felt beautiful with the memory, and despite his anger with Alec he was starting to feel calm again. The Prince needed time, and for now Jem ignored the sound of the shattering glass. He refused to allow Alec to see him upset, and figured if Alec was mad enough to break his Grandmother's mirror he would not be a force to take on. He would let the Prince calm himself before he would try to reason again, but he had to find a way to get Magnus out. With a heavy sigh he sat on the edge of the bed taking up the worn picture, and brushing his thumb over the face of the only other set of blue eyes he had ever loved. He lit candles there by his bed, and the ratty, old, picture seemed to flicker with life as if he could see the motion of William's black hair in the wind. Jem lost himself in his thoughts, and felt his eyes grow heavy with the rest he so desperately needed. However, just as he stretched out on the edge of the bed and propped the picture against the flickering candle, there came a sound deep inside what he thought to be the walls.

Jem could have easily pressed it from his mind; thought it only to be a mouse caught in the draft, or perhaps a bird caught in the chimney. However, when the sounds became louder and a man's voice cursed in eerie chants, he started to sit up. At first he couldn't make out the words, but his chest tightened around his heart when the familiar voice entered the room.

"Mr. Carstairs…my what a pleasant surprise, we meet again." Jem stood slowly, his fingers curling against his palm, and his shoulders squared with his stance in an attempt to force the panic from his chest.

The first thing Jem noticed about Hodge was how red his eyes seemed—bloodshot from the strain in the dark, and he figured Hodge to have always been there like a spider waiting in the shadows. He watched helplessly as Hodge moved between him, and the door. There wasn't another way out, and Jem felt his inner calm break like glass. However, he kept his face completely placid, with eyes like silver pools simply waiting.

"Do you know your father and I served together in the war?" Hodge slowly started to circle the room, but always kept close to the door. He was taunting Jem with escape, yet taking it all away like some wild dog pinning his prey, but Jem remained silent—calm. "He was a good man. Served us right to the very end. I was there when he died." Hodge's ugly eyes pierced that of the moonchild's, and Jem felt him look right through him—staring into his soul. Jem felt his skin crawl, and couldn't imagine how Alec survived. His words were enough to bring the worst of anyone out, "You don't look a thing like him, but I'm sure you know that. Rumor had it he married a Chink, and I guess here is the proof. Found him a way out of the war between her legs, and here you are. Though…he was such a tall man, a big man, a real man and look at you…tiny, like a woman, like a Chinaman." Hodge went through every ethnic slur as if he searched for the right one to spur rage from Jem, but found still his silver eyes to be serene with tranquility. Jem watched him carefully, but did not bait him with his fear. He trembled on the inside, but it was not fear. No, Jem was not afraid to die, he had been dealing with death since the wake of William's sickness, but what he feared was Hodge's soul. His mind had long left him, but now so close to his end, where would he end up? Hell had no place for men like this, and Hodge did not suffer such an easy way out. Jem feared if this didn't end tonight there would be nothing left. Yet, still Hodge continued,

"If he were alive, he'd be so ashamed of you. Letting another man dress you up like a whore." Hodge motioned to the little flower in Jem's white hair, and followed it with his eyes as Jem's slender fingers rose to touch it. It was precious to him, the dainty flower, but even Jem knew such a beautiful thing could suffer a harsh fate. He would not see it ruined. Slowly, he pulled it from his hair, and his snow-white hair spilled around his face like water.

"No," Jem said with such precision that Hodge could not help but be enchanted. If only for a moment, the old veteran watched Jem, hypnotized by the way Jem's hair moved. He imagined them spilling down the boy's back while he drove inside this youth from behind. "My father would be very proud."

Hodge blinked from his trance, and narrowed his eyes are sneering with laughter, "You should be proud of that hair, boy. It's what sets you apart from every other yellow skinned, slanted eyed Chinaman. Without it I wouldn't be able to tell you apart." He now ran through the stereotypes as if he read them from a handout. Jem fought the urge to roll his eyes. Yet, he almost laughed as Hodge left out the most important one. "I'm going to enjoy this." Hodge made his way towards Jem for the kill, his steps awkward from the tension between his legs as he imagined the youth with his hands above his head, and his body torn apart. He lived for the moment of terror that took all of his victims, and got off on their fear. However, the closer he came to Jem the further he moved from himself. His mind was weak with the desire.

Hodge didn't notice the way Jem's silver eyes started to billow like storm clouds, or the flashes of white lightning sparking behind them as they narrowed in on his target. Jem separated his mind from his body. He couldn't see how Jem's delicate was poised yet calm, standing in the eye of the storm ready to cut him down with fists so dedicated in their profession they moved without hesitation. One, two, three they struck with motions like a viper, and pinned nerves on the Veteran's body that would render him useless. His knee came to collapse the man forward, while his fist nearly broke Hodge's neck as he caught his jaw.

The dance was flawless, practiced, and it wasn't until Hodge was staring up at the ceiling with stars in his eyes did he even realize he had been struck. Slowly, his body started to quake from the memory of Jem's fists, and the pain started to flood his body. How many times in the single moment had he been hit? Stars burst behind his eyes, while his own saliva pooled in the back of his mouth until he chocked half from shock; the rest from the way his body contorted.

"You forget the one other stereotype." Jem hissed looking down at him, his voice so thickly accented with his restraint shred away that an image of the misty, cold, China filtered behind Hodge's eyes, "That all Chinese know Kung-Fu." Jem's chest was heaving as he felt sickened by the man whose fate had dealt Hodge the one martial arts trained youth that also knew what nerves to press to render a man temporarily paralyzed.

Jem knew the human body like the back of his hand, and could kill him in three seconds by a single finger lodged so tight in his neck the blood vessels would burst beneath his touch. However, he was not a murderer, and wasn't going to start now. Hodge deserved everything coming his way, but that justice was not his to give. He would need to get to Jace, but wouldn't have much time. Thrilled by his victory, Jem didn't notice the way his body was starting to betray him. He would only make it a few steps, before it started.

It always started with his mind finding refuge in the deepest darkest corners as if bracing himself for what was to come. He could feel his body separate from his conscience state, and felt himself drowning. He watched as the light faded in narrow passages over his eyes, and how his skin prickled as if a thousand tiny needles pierced it all at once. He felt cold and then hot all over; followed by a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He felt as though he moved through a dreamlike state drifting through misty fog before it forced him under. Then, it would take him—black void spiraling lost, and uncontrolled as the pain gripped his chest while the blood pooled in his lungs. His hands would be the first things to start shaking as his body tried to expel the buildup.

Hodge watched as Jem faded from the passive kind soul, and traded his profession for exorcism as his body tried to force out the demonic sickness that tainted his blood. The stale old taste of iron burned the back of his throat as his coughs forced him from his feet. He stumbled forward, helpless, and struggled to gain his stance. Jem reached for anything around him that would break his fall, but the corner table beside his bed was too unstable, and followed him down. He couldn't cry out when the candles spilled over the bed, but his frail little fingers tried to catch his cough as it burst from his chest. The blood could not be stopped.

Hodge's laughter started the same time the fire took hold of the bedclothes, and all Jem could do was watch helplessly as it spread. _Not Alec's beautiful house…_

Finally, the world faded to black, as he no longer held the strength to keep his eyes open, but even in his mindless state, Jem could hear Hodge's sinister laugh. It was the sound of madness, and that of a dying man's last chance to prove his sanity wasn't all there.

What has he done?

* * *

**"I'**m ok, Alec, really. You can put me down." Magnus smiled in his whisper when they reached the open foyer with its grand marble staircase. Alec had carried him the entire length of the narrow halls, and back through the vacant estate that was slowly starting to fill with the militia.

The air that swelled through the open doors was thick with the promise of a storm, and the tender rumble of the thunder that followed was confirmation it was close. Alec, reluctant to let Magnus go, found himself standing above the stairs with fear of the fall should his feet miss a single step. Carefully, he eased Magnus to the floor, and propped him against the banister. Magnus eased as Alec ran his fingers over his face while he brushed away the remnants of the tears. The blood was still wet against his cheeks, but Alec started to smooth it away with his thumb.

"Really, Alexander." Magnus started while he clasped his fingers around Alec's wrist gently, "I'm fine. Go. You need to get dressed." Already the captains started to clear the estate in the breach of security. Their constant shadow over Alec, made Magnus want to fight them away as their judgmental eyes looked his Prince over.

"I don't want to leave you," Alec whispered as he knelt beside Magnus on the stairs, and ran his fingers back through his hair to better examine the cut; those quiet words made Magnus' heart soar. He heard the medics being called for, and voices asking for Jem. However, all he could care about was Alec.

"Then hurry." Magnus smiled weakly, reluctant to let Alec go, and he wanted to whimper when Alec started to stand. Already he felt empty, surprise, and shocked as Alec pressed his lips to his own. Magnus felt his heart pound with longing, a broken heartache that wanted this to still be real, and he knew Alec would face him with facts that everything was not ok. Still, he returned the kiss. Shy at first, Magnus felt his hunger grow when Alec deepened the kiss hastily. His back arched to meet Alec's lips, and his eager hands clasped either side of his beautiful face. He was real, and though it was torture to be so close again, Magnus lived in the moment they could just pretend everything was alright.

The world around Alec stopped, and he ignored the gasps that came from stunned silent faces that contorted with the sight of the Prince kissing not only another man…but the enemy! Easily he pressed it from his mind, and chased Magnus' tongue with his own while lightly brushing his thumb over Magnus' cheek.

"I'll be right back," He finally broke from the kiss, and dark blue eyes looked up to the few who quickly shattered from their shock to move back to their duties. The medics were standing ready to attend to Magnus, and Alec scanned the small gathering crowd for Jem. It was not like him to not be close, and suddenly he worried the white haired youth had left. His guilt stung at his heart, but his worry for Magnus eclipsed it. They both needed new clothes, and from the looks of Magnus' exhaustion he needed rest. Finally, he made his way down the hall, and left Magnus there in the care of his soldiers.

* * *

**T**he fire spread throughout the hall, and the alarms cried out into the night. Magnus was at war with the medics fighting them in refusal of treatment, and got off on watching them struggle. He toyed with them, and broke free from their hold laughing as he went. However, even he could be silenced by the alert, and when the left side of estate started to run for the door his heart fell from his chest.

"Fire!" They shouted in unison, calling for the guard and edging everyone out. The smoke thick and heavy billowed from the vacant hall down in the rooms that belonged to guests, and Magnus felt the pull of a hand. "We must get out of here," the soldier said with careful approach as if he were afraid of Magnus, as if the rumors were true. Was he human? He was not simply a man, but part demon; and rumor had it fire could not touch him.

In the shuffle he had been lost in the crowd, and slipped out on shaken legs that gathered strength from his now pounding heart. He _felt _Jem there, could almost hear his desperate thoughts as he was locked inside himself. Magnus could feel his little rabbit like heartbeats as if he held Jem's heart in his hands—he was that close. The closer he came, the more his skin prickled with the flush of flames, and the heat was so intense that it moved right through him. His clothes already tattered and torn seemed to hang from him like black webbing, and his hair was a mess atop his head; like every fairy tale goblin king that had ever been sketched. He was menacing and dark, and twisted through the reality that the fire really was happening.

Magnus let his heart guide him while his eyes burned from the smoke. Everything seemed so different swallowed by flames. The hall looked like a portal from hell with everything consumed by fire, but it wasn't long before he passed through the open door to where the child of the moon lay unconscious. Relief washed over him as he knelt to check on Jem's breathing, and the cool air that passed from his pale lips let Magnus know he was still alive. Carefully, he started to ease Jem over, but felt himself stiffen when words hissed like fire assaulted his ears.

"Leave him, he'll die soon anyway." That voice…that damn voice! It spoke from the wall, where Hodge had managed to prop himself up against in his cowardly attempt at escape. His legs were twisted in raw angles, his eyes weak with his defeat, and Magnus instantly was flooded with the desire to break every bone in his body. The older man was having trouble keeping his breath, winded still by the fight, but overheated from the fire. Yet he still seemed to manage to taunt Magnus, "Leave him. End his suffering."

White bolt of lightning

Came out of nowhere

Blinded the darkness

Created the storm

_Leave him so that I do not die alone. _

There wasn't room for pity, and his words were easy to ignore. However, the rage and vengeance ignited inside Magnus, and BEGGED to be released. A dragon deep inside his chest shook the cage that held it, screaming of freedom—of life—and death—a vendetta that need be fulfilled. Kill him! Kill him! It shouted as it heated his heart with more fire then the entire room burned with.

War in the heavens

Vengeance ignited

Torment and tempest

Attacks like a swarm

Magnus gently rolled Jem to his back in hopes of easing the tension on his chest, and slowly brushed his thumb over his little pale lips. "Hang in there, my little friend. I will be right back." He whispered, and Jem's chest eased with a steadier set of the breaths under his palm. He knew he would wait, even Jem in his humble, beautiful, peace would have wanted this. Slowly, with fire in his eyes, Magnus started to rise.

Forged out of flame

From chaos to destiny

Bringer of pain

Forever undying

Judas is rising

Hodge Starkweather in his 50 some years of walking this world had never in his life witnessed anything that had ever made him believe in God. But the man walking through the flames, with the fire illuminating his face—reflecting in his eyes—he knew he could be no mortal. Hodge witnessed the second coming, a rapture in the name of wrath, but no unearthly saint stepped through the flame with fire burning up behind like the wings of a dragon. It was the devil.

Eternal betrayer

Ice cold and evil

Taking no prisoners

Dark prince of the world

~Judas is Rising, by Judas Priest

* * *

**A/N: So this chapter means so much to me, because it's the furthest I've ever come in a story that I intend to end-Its also one of the last few chapters! Are you sad? I am. **

**I'm not going to give a sneak of the next(pretty sure you can guess what comes next), but as for a thank you for your reviews I'll leave smut in your inbox. It's a 'What If' lemon from Alec/Jem's sexy scene. It's dirty, and just flat out smut. 1,300, words of sexy dirty smut. Does that make me a whore for real now, huh? Lol Trading reviews for sex? ^.^ Please make sure your private messages are turned on, or leave your email in the review with spaces so FFn doesn't eat it. Or if you are an anonymous I can post it on my Tumblr if thats easier. Let me know. Its LillianBrittany. tumblr. com**

_Alec ran his hand eagerly over the sensitive tip of Jem's cock, and lived in the sounds he made beneath his touch. Jem mewled like a kitten in the affection, but a deep growl waited in the back of his throat to force Alec further should the young lord not obey his body's demands. It was so beautiful to watch, and Alec could not tear his eyes away. However, when Jem felt himself on edge with Alec's rhythmic pumps he tightened his legs around the Prince's hips, and his arms went around his neck. Jem's little whimpers were quieter now with his eyes closed, but with his lips against Alec's neck the sound carried like a song to his ears. It drove him wild._

_"God...the sounds you make," Alec sucked air in through his teeth as he tried to hold back his animalistic urge to turn Jem over right there, and fuck him until those little cat like cries echoed over the marble. Alec's voice made Jem open his eyes as he panted, but they felt heavy._

_"Do they...not... please you?" Jem asked with his eyes half opened, but they closed again against Alec's now oil slick palm._

**P.s. reviews on my twitter don't count this time only because I'd NEVER be able to get it posted lol. Much Love!**


	33. 32 Kiss My Eyes and Lay Me to Sleep

**Chapter 32. Kiss My Eyes and Lay Me To Sleep**

This is what I brought you this you can keep,

This is what I brought you may forget me.

I promise you my heart just promise to sing,

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

This is what I thought,

I thought you need me,

This is what I thought so think me naïve,

I promise you a heart you'd promise to keep,

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

~AFI, Prelude 12/21

**"**_**T**his is the first of many, Mon Ami." The careful French sounded so warm despite his cold hands. "And I wish I could tell you they get easier from here." Jem felt so small in the massive bed of fine silk and red covers. The room was huge, like a bedroom that belonged to a king, but it was full of books like a scholar—old leather ones with gold lettering. The light that spilled in through the window was of the only, and it made everything seem so surreal. Everything seemed like a painting as if the artist meant to capture a Poe poem. Perched on the highest shelf, hidden like a lie, Jean's raven sat with one eye glaring down at him. The bird's long black wings beat like his heart, and Jem felt himself swallow hard, wanting to get away from it. He wanted to run, and started to set up to do just that. However, the long elegant hand of his professor pressed him back down, and with it he eased himself into the chair beside the bed. _

_Jem didn't know how much time had passed, but from the weary look in his mentor's eyes he could tell Jean-Luc had been up a very long time. How long had he been sitting there? All night?He felt so guilty; while in the oversized bed sleeping a dreamless sleep, Jean had been in that stuffed chair. Jem wanted to protest, but the moment he parted his lips Jean's voice left his lips in a painful whisper._

"_Why didn't you tell me you were infected?" Jem noticed Jean-Luc's hands were shaking over the head of his cane as he used it to lean forward, and it made Jem want to shy away into the down filled pillows. Jean-Luc was beautiful with his sophistication tailored to his face as perfectly as the elegant cuffs of his sleeves. His eyes were kind despite being set in a face that appeared to be carved over stone, and his pale lips were a stark contrast to the ebon black hair that fell like straight silk to the base of his spine. _

_Jem rolled to his side in an attempt to hide further in the oversized pillows, and felt the weakness start to take him again. It felt as though he were drifting, down a cold river that made him tremble with the chill, and when Jean's fingers brushed over his brow he felt them afire. He should have just let the sickness force him to sleep, but he felt he owed Jean this much. And in a weak whisper he simply stated,_

"_I didn't want to worry Will." By then Jem's lids had closed over his silver eyes, and the last thing he would remember was the way the covers felt so warm as Jean-Luc tucked them past his trembling shoulders._

* * *

**J**em slipped in and out of his conscious state, but the memory of his old professor kept him alive. He felt as if he were a puppet attached to delicate strings, and even now the long slender fingers of the Frenchman kept him going. It was a memory he often thought back on when he hurt so badly; when the pain made him suffer, but deep down he didn't know how much more he could take.

The room was nothing but fire now, and the hands that touched him brought him from his dreams. They were gentle and kind yet something about them felt so foreign and strange. His eyes parted enough to make out a man in the light, a silhouette in the fire.

_Will?_

A part of his heart fell with both the realization it wasn't William, and the rest with relief. He had hoped his friend had not gone to the Hell he often spoke so much about, but deep down he knew it wasn't in Will's character to ever step foot in Heaven.

The fire was enchanting, the heat intoxicating as it burned. Magnus seemed so menacing through the flames, like a demon expelled from Hell, and Jem thought him handsome even with the blood of their enemy on his hands. Hodge did not stand a chance against the wrath that was Bane, and found himself upon the wall crucified like a zealot from Israel with his hands hung on old nails that once held Alec's paintings. Hodge's ribcage stuck out through the bedpost that impaled him, and though he was clearly defeated Magnus still stood by him whispering into the old man's ear.

"And now you shall know…" Magnus hissed his bare hand clutching the exposed shoulder of their enemy, and that touch alone kept his heart beating. Hodge dangled there in purgatory unable to be free of the pain, and Magnus unwilling to let him die. "No one will mourn when you are gone. Not a single tear will fall." Magnus' eyes were burning orbs as bright as the fire, red and angry, they seethed like the sun—unforgiving. "He will live on loved for all eternity, and a new day will dawn without you."

Jem wished he could hear what Magnus was saying, because Hodge's face contorted as if the skin suddenly felt slack over his skull, and his suffering had reached his breaking point. Oblivion's distance shadowed his eyes, and he stared openly into a part of the room that was already taken by the flames. Jem found his own silver eyes fixing on the space so fascinating to the dying man, and the air suddenly turned cold. Slowly, Jem managed to pull himself up to prop weakly against the wall in an attempt to get away from where, even now, Magnus turned a wicked grin watching.

It was as if the world stopped turning, and even the fire that coiled like ribbons hardly moved. He noticed then that his breath came out like smoke as if forced from his lungs, and the air smelled of sulfur—brimstone.

"Do you see that, Starkweather?" Magnus hissed while keeping the man's fallen face forward enough so that he couldn't cower from the sight of Hell opening up to take him. "They are coming for you. Hell…for you."

Jem shivered out of both cold and fear, but could not pull the robe around him any further; he had not the strength. His chest hurt, as his lungs were heavy with the blood that pooled there, but before another fit could take him his eyes closed once more.

* * *

_And fear not them which kill the body, __but are not able to kill the soul:_

_But rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell._

_Matthew 10:28_

* * *

**M**agnus watched as the gates of fire opened, and the figure moved from the darkness. His body stiffened as chills chased him, but the guilt struck like a cord as the face there beneath the hood of black hair was haunting.

"William." At first the figure said nothing, but when the dangerous blue of his eyes fell onto Magnus the air was alive with the sparks of true fear. That was no longer his name.

_You promised…_

His voice echoed through Magnus' mind in raspy sounds that caused his heart to pound, and quickly he stepped away from Hodge whose head slumped forward. Magnus knew of whom he spoke, the boy of the moon whose life was dangling on thin lines while Magnus had his fun. Guilt again pulled his heart as Jem looked so peaceful through the smoke, but the heavy rise and fall of his chest let Magnus know he could hardly breathe. He moved to take him in.

Magnus slipped to where Jem was waiting unconscious, and pulled his frail frame to his chest while hugging his arms beneath him. It didn't surprise Magnus how light Jem was; he hardly filled up the space over his chest, and he felt as though he held a child. His body was so thin, but not the sort like his own; it was small from the illness, and pale from his weakened state. Jem was not long for this world, and something in the way William watched with longing sorrow filled eyes told Magnus that this was his punishment.

This was what he suffered in Hell. Was he forced to watch Jem die, and remain powerless to stop it? Over and over again, William suffered this fate, and as he watched Magnus now there was such desperation in his eyes Magnus felt compelled to close the distance.

It was strange to know the soundof suffering, as the voices of the damned rose from the gates, and William moved before Magnus could get too close. His shadowy figure came upon Hodge's body to touch his shoulder, and once again old haggard eyes opened. There was a haunted realization of death written across his gaze, and his eyes were only a reflection of what was there before him. His life's shadow separated from his body, and Hodge moved forward with every backward step Will took until the fiery gates of Hell reclaimed them both.

Magnus only hugged Jem tighter to his chest—thankful he was not with the world at the moment, and suddenly felt very alone. With the fire all around them, Magnus felt himself dancing with his own fate, but something just could not pull him from the room just yet. The smoke was heavy, and the sounds of voices shouting in the distance echoed through him. However, all he could think about was how thankful he was to be alive. His mortality sang in his ears with the pounding of his heart, and when Jem stirred slightly in his arms he pushed forward.

* * *

**F**lashes of light tore at the night in the distance of the storm, and Alec searched frantic from over the shoulders of the guards who kept him safe in the crowd that had gathered to watch the estate burn. His heart pounded under his ribs as he searched for Magnus. He felt like screaming, but was certain no one would hear him. There were so many people there, that it was hard to make out any figure in the dark. However, his heart knew…he knew Magnus was still inside, no matter how much he hoped.

"Alec!" Isabelle's voice broke through the crowd, and the Prince slipped between the soldiers to make his way to her. "Alec! Jem is still inside! He was in his room." Her tears stained her face, and her sobs could hardly be controlled. The salt water against her face shimmered in the flashing lights, and soon would mix with the careful drops of the promising rain.

_God was in the rain…_

The fire brigade sang through the streets making their way up to the hills that held his grandmother's estate, but he knew it wouldn't be enough. Magnus was in there, and the arms that held him back at first belonged to his sister; and then belonged to the soldiers.

"No! Let me go!" He had just gotten Magnus back! He had just got him back. How was he to let him go now? His thoughts couldn't travel to Jem in fear he would fall apart there.

"Alec, its too late." Isabelle cried pressing on her brother's chest, but soon her attention turned from his pain stricken face to watch as the night sky was insulted with the flames. An explosion rocked through the dark, and the fire clawed at the sky so high Isabelle thought all of London could see it.

"Its not too late! Its not! It can't be." Alec sobbed as he choked back his breath. The firemen hunted past him with their water filled serpents, and orders were given to get them all back. However, Alec fought them with every fiber in his being. He positioned his feet to stop them from pushing him, and forced his shoulders forward to get to his love.

"There!" A voice shouted, a soldier pointing to the grand stairs where Magnus carried Jem free from the fire, and they all went silent. No one should have survived that, but there in the flesh Magnus moved forward. He looked exhausted, and as the cool night air hit his face it only showed more. Jem was curled against his chest, and his little fingers clinging to Magnus' shirt were good enough to let Alec know he was alive. Finally, when the soldiers released him both he and Isabelle took off with the paramedics not far behind.

Magnus' eyes met Alec's, and the desperation there made his shoulders shake. Alec worried over Jem, but he couldn't keep his concern free from his gaze every time he looked at Magnus. Between them both his attention skipped until the paramedics took Jem, and Isabelle promised to stay with him. She would follow him to the hospital, and would remain by his side with as much tender love as she would have given her brother.

Alec did not give Magnus' arms long to remain empty. He wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him tight. The desperation of his relief sank heavily on his shoulders, and they trembled under Magnus' palms as he wrapped his own arms around Alec to soothe away his worry. Alec ran his fingers over the back of Magnus' neck and through his hair. He balled the fabric of his jacket up in his palm, and buried his face in Magnus' neck.

"I thought I lost you." He whispered desperately, "I just got you back." That made Magnus' heart soar, and his whole body wanted to give into his Prince. Alec had every reason to have him killed where he stood, but here he was holding onto him as if he were afraid the very winds of the storm would take him away.

"Alex…" Magnus breathed as the rain started, and through the dark strands of his hair he looked at his love. He wanted to admit his defeat, that he was tired, and that his body needed nourishments. Yet how did he even start this conversation? He didn't have anywhere to go. He was 'dead' in this world, so no hospital could take him in. Magnus needed to sleep, but swimming now in Alec's sapphire eyes, how did he ask for anything other than his forgiveness?

Alec could see the weary state of the Dark Knight, and it broke him. He touched his face, uncaring of who was watching, and brushed his thumb over the swell of his cheek. Magnus had always been so beautiful. Yet with the dark dangerous nature stripped away, Alec could almost see a hint of the man that was there before; the boy from the hallway. He could see the many questions in his eyes, and how a hundred things wanted to be asked. However, all that came out in a quiet desperate voice was,

"Where do we go from here?" He worried so fiercely that Alec would push him away, his whole body tensed for the blow, but the rain picked up enough to cause Alec to smile. With his face tilted back it painted his skin, and he laughed lightly. It was beautiful, and the sound caused Magnus' heart to start again, and his grip on Alec's sides never faltered. He felt his nerves subside, and relaxed lightly in the rain. He wouldn't question his Prince with what reason he had to smile, his home was burning, and the truth hung between them heavy like the dark clouds. However, Magnus didn't falter once—not yet. He would live in this lie as long as Alec believed, and something told him Alec wasn't one for pretend.

"First we get out of this rain, and then we will…" Alec looked back at the Estate, as if he had forgotten it burning. The rain had started to make the hot embers hiss, but the steam that rose from the dying fire made the entire gathering sigh with relief. The fire was almost out, and it seemed all were accounted for—this was why he smiled. Alec turned his face back to Magnus, and slipped his hand through the crook of his arm. "We will take it a step at a time."

They turned to the crowd, their eyes were judgmental even here with sins washing away in the water, but Alec faced them with defiant eyes and a stern set jaw. He kept Magnus close, guarding him from their prying eyes until finally the sea of people parted to let them pass.

* * *

**A/N: Jean-Luc is in Tears from the Moon, the Will/Jem fic I'm working on that is sister to this one. GO check it out if you haven't. He is also an original character of mine so be easy on him. He's old(30-40), but gold...French..and Fine. Mmmm.**

**So this chapter is crap to me, I cried writing it a few times, but I'm sooooooo flipping busy its not how I really wanted it to be. I WANT to get to the Smut, which is coming. More reviews get faster updates to MALEC FINALLY TEARING EACH OTHER UP! **

**Special thanks to Ky again for Beta Beta Beta time, and a shout out to all my Malec friends. I enjoyed our chat, and your awesome friendship on Twitter. Follow me: Starryowleyes and join in on our Malec fun? Let me know who you are and I'll introduce you to our wild ways.**


	34. 33 This Is No Ordinary Love

**Warning: Adult Content Below. Nudity, Sex, Long Chapter.**

**Please read A/N.**

* * *

**Chapter 33. This Is No Ordinary Love**

I gave you all the love I got

I gave you more than I could give

I gave you love

I gave you all that I have inside

And you took my love

You took my love

Didn't I tell you

What I believe

Did somebody say that

A love like that won't last

Didn't I give you

All that I've got to give baby

I gave you all the love I got

I gave you more than I could give

I gave you love

I gave you all that I have inside

And you took my love

You took my love

I keep crying

I keep trying for you

There's nothing like you and I baby

This is no ordinary love

No ordinary Love

This is no ordinary love

No ordinary Love

When you came my way

You brightened every day

With your sweet smile

Didn't I tell you

What I believe

Did somebody say that

A love like that won't last

Didn't I give you

All that I've got to give baby

This is no ordinary love

No ordinary Love

This is no ordinary love

No ordinary Love

I keep crying

I keep trying for you

There's nothing like you and I baby

This is no ordinary love

No ordinary Love

This is no ordinary love

No ordinary Love

Keep trying for you

Keep crying for you

Keep flying for you

Keep flying I'm falling

I'm falling

Keep trying for you

Keep crying for you

Keep flying for you

Keep flying for you I'm falling

I'm falling

_~No Ordinary Love, by Sade_

(Please watch below, so beautiful. Take out the spaces)

www. youtube. com/watch?v=UPqrYwdbD_0

* * *

**T**he rain fell quietly as the car moved through the streets of London, and the silence was drowning the both of them. Magnus on one end of the car, and Alec the other. A blanket pooled between them hid the only contact of fingers dancing over the other's, while their eyes spoke in secrets.

_There is nothing like, you and I…_

Alec watched as Magnus' fought his eyes open, and the exhaustion carved away at his smile. It pulled dark ugly circles around his face, but worry settled there like old age. It caused his heart to twist in his chest, and the hope for what was to come to fight its way forward. It was hard to watch, but when his own gaze filtered outside he felt further from Magnus than ever.

Magnus knew the Prince well enough to know every time his attention turned to the city, he didn't just see empty buildings and nameless faces. He couldn't simply ignore it all when everything depended on him. He carried the weight of lives, and with it aged a little more each day. When would they call him King? He would call him whatever it took to keep him by his side, but even he knew that couldn't last forever.

"Alec," Magnus broke the unbearable silence between them, "Talk to me." Under the blanket he stopped teasing the skin of Alec's knuckle, and took his hand firmly in his own. Alec turned from the world outside to lie to him, but sometimes the truth would hurt more. In many ways he was protecting Magnus for as long as he could.

"I'm just worried about Jem is all," It was part of the truth, but so much of it felt like a thorn twisting in his side. Magnus moved closer to touch his leg beneath the blanket, and the warmth of his skin beneath the damp denim was a comfort; even if Alec tensed.

"Don't be, he's been through worse. He is strong."

"I'm going to give him his life back." Alec spoke all at once, as if saying it out loud would give Jem strength, but Magnus seemed a bit confused until Alec continued, "I'm going to command the University give him his title. There will be a place for him to graduate this year. I'll find him the best doctors, and find a cure." Alec's determination was set in his icy blue eyes, and fierceness was there in rare form. It reminded Magnus of the way winter reclaimed the land, and he felt as though he had frozen beneath that gaze. It made him fear for an instant what was next. Alec could demand anything, and have it served cold while not a soul could question him. What would he do with his heart when finished? His own fate twisted carelessly with his fingers over Alec's hand—Alec wasn't returning the gesture, and finally Magnus pulled away.

"Good, he deserves it." Magnus let his eyes glance out the window trying to mask his hurt, while his fingers now vacant brushed over the soft fleece of the blanket already missing Alec's hand. He was so tired that the warmth almost pulled him under, but when the car stopped into the familiar entrance Magnus couldn't help but smirk to the white-gloved man who opened his door—again. Twice now this man was surprised to see him, and had Magnus been in his right mind he would have fired back a retort at the continuance of the rude behavior. They worshiped Alec, gave life to him when he had so little of his own, but the moment the door opened for Magnus he was treated to the constant reminder…

He did not belong here.

The ride up on the elevator was quiet, so quiet that Magnus looked at Alec, and begged him to say anything. He could tell him to leave for all he cared; he simply wanted to hear his voice. Waiting in the silence made it feel like his own sort of purgatory, and the upward descent to Alec's loft the one faith that kept him going.

"Are you tired?" Magnus asked Alec, who broke from his fallen gaze, and looked at his companion as if he had forgotten he was even there. It was then Magnus realized Alec wasn't thinking of the now—his eyes were on the past. They were not alone, but the men that traveled with them were so silent Magnus felt the elevator much like a cage. They were just the quiet eyes on the other side looking in, and he the pretty bird perched for all to see.

"I am." Alec replied quietly flipping open his phone, which Magnus noticed wasn't the same from before and he worried his fingers over his back pocket to realize he still had Alec's old one. "Hello." Alec left him to join in the conversation who was on the other line, and when the doors opened to the skyline suite he could hear the conversation turning to Jem—it must have been Isabelle.

Standing now inside the estate in the sky, Magnus wondered why he had never noticed before how amazing it really was. With the floor to ceiling windows that shot up in the cathedral like arches over-looking the entire city. The smooth marble floor looked wet with the reflection of sky, and the small lights twinkling like stars from the chandelier hanging low over the table. Once upon a time it had been their first date, and the sinking feeling felt heavy that it would be their last as well. The memory played before him like watching an old reel over a silver screen, and Magnus could swear he heard the water running from the bath drawn in his name with champagne waiting.

Candles still burned in their places calm and inviting, but nothing of that night seemed to remain. It was as if the suite had been wiped clean, and along with it the memory from Alec's mind. Magnus felt himself longing to be clean, but here in this pristine palace in the sky he felt he would never rid himself of the filth. Alec had given him his heart here, and what had he done with it? Emotions ran high, and when he heard voices down the hall from the soldiers start to put an order into the home he slipped into the bathroom. With the door as his shield he pressed his back against it, and quiet sobs escaping as he slid to the floor.

What was he even doing here?

"Magnus?" The knock at the door was quiet, and even if Alec had not asked for him he would have known who it was. He could feel the air that carried Alec cool and calm, and he could almost hear that sweet gentle heartbeat through the fine oak. Magnus stood again, as if waiting for Alec to come in, but he never did. Instead he asked, "Are you ok?" There wasn't anything left of his eyeliner, but still he ran his hand over tear stained cheek to clean away the moisture. The only black that rubbed off was the ashy soot that covered his face.

"I'm fine." He lied, and it seemed Alec wasn't the only one good at it. Or perhaps Alec was just as good at pretending to be blind. "I…I would just like to take a shower." Magnus looked down at his dirty blood stained hands, and took a deep breath before he stared at the empty door separating him from his love. Alec was quiet for a moment, and Magnus waited for the handle to turn. He waited for his Prince to come make everything ok, but Alec's hand fell away from the door—Magnus' heart fell in his chest.

"Ok, my men are going to get us something to eat, and I've got some clothes for you…I'll…I'll put them on the bed, okay? If you need anything else, let me know." Alec's voice faded as he spoke announcing his departure, and Magnus shifted in his steps.

_I need you..._

The water felt cool and calm to his burning skin, and washed away the dirt and grim of a hard life. His skin seemed more bronze than ever with all the blood swirling at his feet, and even he was surprised at how long his hair had become. Clean and wet like this it touched the middle of his back, and tickled his bare chest. When the shampoo washed through the gun wound he hissed, but even that started to fade with the warm water. Magnus marveled at his reflection through the fogged mirror when he was finished, and wondered where he had gone. He'd always been skinny, but there was hardly anything left of him. Even is face had thinned out, and when he brushed his wet hair back from his face he turned away from his reflection thinking back on old days—when he was beautiful.

The clothes Alec had left him were soft, faded, old worn things he would have imagined Alec in on days when it did nothing but rain. He thought of Alec curled on his side in his study with his sketchbook in these old drawstring sleep pants, and this old ratty t-shirt. The pants were too short, but when he lowered them on his hips they pooled around his ankles, and the t-shirt exposed his abs if he lifted his arms. However, he couldn't be happier. He felt like he was wearing fine silk, or royal robes. The ratty sleep rags were the finest he had ever worn, and only because they were Alec's.

Dinner was taken in the formal dining room, but the carry out boxes somehow made it seem more personal. Alec was at his end while Magnus slipped in the seat across from him, but even with the Prince across the table he felt like he was eating alone. Men swarmed around Alec, and the phone never stopped.

"I'm fine." He heard Alec say in his quiet voice speaking softly to the other person on the adjacent line, "I know, me too. They have him in the ICU, but Isabelle says he's awake and talking." Magnus instantly felt guilty for listening, but even when he enjoyed the meal he couldn't help worrying when Alec would order him away.

"I'm fine, Mom. I won't know the damage until they get the fire out." Alec continued, and went silent as if listening until finally he sighed, "Mom I'm exhausted. I'm hungry, and I'm with Magnus." The air grew so thick with his name that all of the staff inhaled a gasp, and waited for Maryse's wrath to reach through the phone at her son. "He's fine. No. He won't hurt me. Mom…Mom…Will you just stop?" Alec stood with his anger, and turned right into the staff waiting their orders. Magnus noticed Alec's shoulders were tense, and finally…

"EVERYONE OUT!" Alec snapped. "OUT! I want everyone out, until further orders." Magnus sat down his fork, reluctant to let it go, but no amount of his selfish desire to feel full would make him disobey Alec. He didn't have anywhere to go, but he was the master of survival. The few men at the table who had papers all drawn out started to shuffle them together, and Alec paused one of them to slip a bit of paper from his back pocket into their hand. "Thank you all," he finally sighed again, "It's been a long night for all of us, and lets just enjoy it with our families." With that the room fell silent again. Finally, he took his seat again across from Mangus, and motioned for him to continue. "Eat, don't let it get cold. I'm…" Starved would have followed had his phone not started to ring again, and Alec's face slumped forward while he picked it up.

"Izzy, how is he?" Alec asked while Magnus started again on his dinner, but when Isabelle started in on the hospital Alec stood to leave the table. Magnus could tell his anger was getting the best of him, and he found a new respect for Alec's calm.

* * *

**"T**hey won't treat him, Alec. The tests came back he's infected and they refuse treatment." Isabelle pounded down the halls in heels so high even Buffy would be envious of their spikes. She spoke into that phone like any high relator closing a deal, and Camille who trailed behind her was reminded of a panther, black and deadly. "Oh I told them that. I told them you would come down here yourself, but they still refuse. They refuse until its approved." Through the double doors of the treatment ward Isabelle thrust forward and into the offices of the staff. "Oh I'll tell you what I'm going to do, Alexander. I'm going to take my stiletto off and run it through this asshole's neck until he approves it. I just wanted you to be aware of what is going on. No…No…I don't need you here."

Camille stopped her lover for a moment putting her finger over her pout to silence her, and slipped into the office first. Isabelle's voice was a whisper now.

"No I don't need your help, I just wanted to check on Magnus. I want to make sure you are taking care of him." Alec was stunned on the other end of the phone, and his anger was calming. "Tell him we're going shopping when Jem is feeling better, and he better still be there when I get home."

* * *

**A**lec looked from the window to Magnus who was watching with a little smirk pulled over his lips as if he could hear Isabelle—he probably could. When the line hung up he almost felt sorry for the poor soul about to face the wrath of his sister, and deep down he knew she could handle it. Perhaps he should have gone with Jem, and when the guilt started to settle in he let his eyes steal a glance towards Magnus. His guild was stripped away at how pathetic his love looked, and how broken. Magnus watched Alec with unsettled eyes, and his amber eyes were pitiful. He could hardly hold the fork he was so tired, and suddenly Isabelle's concern for Magnus was very real.

"Is Jem okay?" Magnus asked in a little voice, and pushed away from the table to pull his leg up to his chest in an attempt to gather strength to stand. He was sated, but still concerned. He felt Alec's gaze heavy on his skin, and wanted to shy away from it. He couldn't meet his eyes for very long, and when he did he dropped them with shame.

"He will be." Alec spoke as he replaced the phone on the table, and in a trance like state went through the motions, "I'm going to go shower, you finish here. Eat all that you want, and if there is something else you need all you have to do is call down to the front desk." Alec lifted his eyes to catch his own, and Magnus looked red, brimming with tears. However, Alec pushed this off as exhaustion, and never realized how badly Magnus simply didn't want to be alone.

The table was so empty, even with the silver reel starting again as the memory played back at how much they had laughed at this table, and how much they didn't want that night to end—all things came to an end. That day Magnus' face had hurt from laughing so hard, and his chest had been filled with so much pride his heart felt full. Yet, watching Alec leave now, it ached, and the insides of his mouth hurt from biting back the words that wanted to beg Alec back.

_Don't leave me..._

"Alec?" Magnus broke from his thoughts to speak to the now empty hall where his lover had gone, and the lightning flash gave Magnus a glimpse of Alec's silhouette before he closed the door. "Take me with you?" He whispered, and with that he buried his face in his hands. His chest shook with the sobs, but not a sound escaped him that would reach Alec's ears. His tears heavy and warm raced down his cheek staining Alec's shirt, and every time he came close to calming he would suck in a breath to begin again. Magnus had reached his breaking point, and was too tired to realize the water had turned off. Somewhere in his sobs he had pulled his knees to his chest to cradle them, and hide his face behind them. He never heard the door open again, and never noticed the dark figure of his savior until he felt Alec's warm fingers touch his shoulder through the thin fabric of the shirt.

Magnus lifted his face-startled, towards Alec, and realized he had slipped into an exhausted trance. His sobs had steadied in his chest, and his breath wasn't so shallow. However, he could hardly make out Alec's face through the wall of tears built around his amber eyes, but they didn't fall until he felt Alec's thumb brush his cheek as he cupped his face.

Alec didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. When he touched Magnus' face his Dark Knight rose to his affection. Like a cat Magnus leaned into his hand, and tried to stand to meet his arms. When he stumbled, Alec was there to catch him, and took him in like a child.

_I'm here…_

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's neck and buried his face into the warm shelter of his neck. He breathed in his scent, and his breath caught in his throat while Alec's arms only tightened around him.

"Why didn't you just go to bed?" Alec asked as he carried Magnus through the halls; who was already calming against him, and had closed his eyes.

"I didn't know where you wanted me to sleep." The admission was quiet, and when he ran his fingers up through Alec's hair he felt the Prince tense. Instantly he opened his eyes, and raised his face from Alec's neck, "I can sleep on the couch." If you are that disgusted with me? God he was such a fool to believe that this would work. He was demon spawn, and this an angel. How would it ever work? Magnus tightened his hands on Alec's shoulders to signal his desire to be put down, and when his feet touched the floor Alec took his hands to stop him from getting too far.

"No, Magnus wait." Alec forced Magnus to face him, "I don't want you to sleep on the couch." He was trembling, and Alec could feel how upset he was. He didn't need to ask, the words came from Magnus like bullets.

"You can hardly stand to touch me, you won't speak more than five words to me, and its torture. Alec I'm suffering more now then I was in that Hell. I can't be this close to you with you being so far away." Alec's arms pulled Magnus back in, and despite the contact Magnus still felt they were a thousand feet apart. He could feel Alec's heart beating through his chest, in time with his own, but no amount of blood pulsing between them could make up the distance.

In the dark it was hard to make out where Magnus' hair began and ended, but when Alec's strong hand came to brush his fingers over his lover's neck they curled up inside his ebon strands.

"Its not that I can't stand to touch you," Alec whispered with his palms forcing Magnus face to meet his, and his eyes to level in his own, "I just have to fight this war with myself to keep my control." Magnus melted into those words, his tall body pressed into Alec's as he lived there in his embrace. That was all he needed—reassurance. His fingers trailed up to Alec's neck and touched the tender place where his pulse raced beneath his skin. He felt Alec's hands tighten their hold as they slipped down his body, and that 'control' was clear.

"So its not because you hate me?" Something woke in Magnus' words, and a little flicker of light ignited behind his amber orbs. Alec shook his head slowly before closing the distance between their lips, and the kiss was like a storm wind as it pushed them together. He felt the world swirling about them as if the sea had pulled him under, and the only air he could breathe was that of what Alec breathed out. His essence was the very realization that somewhere in the life beyond Alec touched his soul, and he felt—found. He could let his fears go, and find his way home. Alec was his home, and in the gentle way his Prince touched him he felt nothing could ever hurt him again.

"No," Alec breathed between passionate pulls on Magnus' lips, "I love you. How could I," His lips met Magnus' again before he pulled away to continue, "…hate you?" His hands were warm atop Magnus' skin as they slipped beneath the shirt, and over the exposed skin of his slender hips.

* * *

_I gave you all the love I got_

_I gave you more than I could give_

_I gave you love_

_I gave you all that I have inside_

_And you took my love_

_You took my love_

* * *

**M**agnus had a thousand reasons Alec could hate him, but so wrapped up in his lover's embrace where did he even start? Why would he? They had never been two that keep to the rules of engagement, and let love in. This was what the world was missing, and what was forgotten. Love wasn't meant to have rules or religions. It wasn't meant to be condemned to only a man and woman. It was real when it felt like this, and it gave them both something to believe in.

Alec ran his thumbs over the hem under the sleep pants in slow careful caresses that caused Magnus to press his hips forward in an attempt to entice Alec's hands further. He felt revived against Alec's lips, but his body longed to be free. He wanted to be as close to Alec as he could, and felt his body afire in the clothes that separated them. The lust shed away his exhaustion, and his desire fueled him to wrap his arms around Alec's neck again. Instantly, he fit there; and felt pulled into his arms one last time to be carried to the bed that saved him before.

Everything was as Magnus remembered, the bed as big as the entire room he shared with Camille in their Underground Haven, and when Alec pressed him back slowly he felt as though he was placed in a sea of white clouds. The down filled covers were cool against his skin, and pooled around him when his back arched as Alec's hands ran beneath.

Every muscle in Alec's arms defined when he eased Magnus onto the bed, and Magnus ran his fingers over the carved stone. His eyes feasted on the man before him, and when Alec sat back to pull away his shirt every ripple on his chest made his heart flutter. Perfection. Alec had changed so much in such a short time, and despite the long scar that ran over his back it all looked so beautiful. Magnus, could have easily over looked the red angry line, but he knew that it would remind him of what he had done; what he was powerless to stop.

Alec ran his fingers slowly under Magnus' shirt once more, and carefully worked it over his head until he too was exposed—captive to Alec's attention. The Prince ran his fingers over the smooth olive colored skin of his love, and teased it to life with the tips of his fingers. He traced over every faint scar, but was mindful of the ones that hadn't healed yet. Alec would see to it they were tended to, but for now Magnus would have to settle for his kisses; butterfly wing gentle, and warm. Slowly, he pressed tender, teasing, kisses over Magnus' chest, and started to work his way down.

At first it had been Alec's lips to taunt him, but now the heated kiss in combination with the cool wet tips of his hair, caused his head to fall back as he arched with a moan. Magnus brought one hand to touch Alec's broad shoulder, and it tensed over the solid muscle there. However, it eased when he relaxed into the affection his body had almost forgotten how good it felt to be loved. He felt Alec's fingers draw over the hem of his pants again, and the fabric brushed gently on its decent down while his straining erection met the cold air. The sensation caused him to clam up a little, but when Alec's fingers ran over his length they brought warmth back into it-he eased into the pleasure.

"Alec," Magnus breathed with each thrust of his lover's palm over his heat, and his voice sounded desperate as it heaved in his chest until he couldn't stand the teasing any further. His chest showed the chills that chased his spine, and he sat up in the bed to pull Alec against him. "You are too far away." With Alec on his knees, but still captive in his arms it brought their kiss to a different angle, and when their lips met again it reminded him of their first. He had Alec against the wall then, and never imagined to have him here. Magnus palmed the hem of Alec's pants until his fingers tore them over the round plump surface of his backside, and the smooth skin prickled with his touch. He pulled Alec back down, like drawing down the moon from the sky, and it was easy for the Prince to kick of the rest of the clothing that separated them.

When Alec pulled the covers up around them he slowly eased back to his position over Magnus, and now with the heavy down filled fabric brushing over his lover's shoulders he felt envious. Why was it they were privy to his back, but he could not be so willing to expose himself to the truth. Alec didn't shy away from it, instead he wore the scar like a badge of honor—proof he could survive anything, but it was his own hidden submissive nature that had him willing to spend this night on his back.

"It doesn't hurt anymore." Alec said running his hand up through Magnus' hair as their lips feasted hungrily upon each other. It was as if he read his thoughts, but Magnus knew he was too tired to mask his emotions anymore. "Touch me." Alec whimpered, his own hands exploring the smooth skin of the only man he ever loved, and Magnus hadn't realized he had frozen his hands to Alec's sides. However, that one little command broke the ice of his fear, and he mimicked Alec's explorative nature.

"God, baby, I love you so much." Magnus whispered as he ran his hands over Alec's chest to make his way down to where their sex met, and Alec's hardened state throbbed under his fingers. He drew his leg up around Alec, and let his toes curl with the pleasure that rocketed through him as Alec explored further. "Please, Alec." He begged, arching his back with every thrust of his lover's hand over his hard cock.

Alec sat up enough to gather the little silver vials he kept beside the bed, and the oils inside them were exotically scented with jasmine and rose. The amber liquid pooled in his hand, and ran between his fingers slowly until little drops heated along Magnus' waiting manhood. He hissed in a breath when he felt the oil warm over his skin, but cried out when Alec closed his hand around his straining erection to thrust his fingers to the base. The oil warmed in Alec's palm, and tingled slightly. It felt like fire, and with every crest over his head he felt for certain he would explode. However, he stayed sated long enough to watch helplessly as Alec took his own cock in his hand to coat himself, and the excess would enchant Magnus' entrance. Slowly, he worked his fingers over his opening until Magnus arched his back with a moan-begging to be taken. With that he thrust his finger in, invasive, but wanting, and stretched his love to ready his body for invasion. Carefully, he watched Magnus' face for any sign of discomfort, but his only protest came in the distance.

"You… are so far away…" Magnus protested with his ecstasy pooling in his eyes in the form of tears, but they were not of sadness. They were tears of passion; the kind that came with loving something so much this was the only way to show it.

Alec eased back over him, unsure of the position. In his mind he had only done this once, and those horrid memories were blocked out. It felt like his first time, and in many ways was. He had never taken another man, or woman for that matter. However, he trusted Magnus to guide him.

Magnus lifted his hips to greet Alec's tip, and slid his toes slowly over the back of Alec's legs. He bent his hips down enough to line himself on Alec's ready erection.

_There baby, take me._

Slowly at first he teased Magnus, until inch-by-inch he filled his love who bit his lip to bite back any sound for fear of it startling Alec. It wasn't until Alec started to pull back out did he open in a protest.

"No." Magnus' voice was desperate, and his eyes widened until they narrowed on him again, "Take me." He pulled Alec in by hooking his ankles behind Alec's back, and sinking further into the massive bedding. "Alec, fuck me, make love to me." _Do whatever it takes to always be this close to you._ His words shifted while his nails dug into Alec's back, and at that the Prince gave a cry of his own pleasure while he thrust forward sheathing himself inside.

Alec used his restraint in the right places as he drove back into Magnus; making the other cry out with the thrust, but he didn't push too far. He never went too far, and kept his pace with the rhythm of their heart.

Magnus had sold his body to many men in an attempt to feed his people, dressed like hookers or whatever fetish the other man desired—nothing ever moved him like this. Alec was passionate in everything he did, and no matter how much he bottled his emotions they always expressed themselves in some fashion or another. On rainy days he painted, on sunny he led countries, and on nights like this he loved Magnus. He loved him with his entire being, and with every thrust that brought their bodies as close he kissed a place he had never before. His lips passionately heated the tender skin of Magnus' neck until it was painted red, and all he could do was start again on the other side. Alec kissed his lips the same, slowing his pace to drink in his lover for another tender moment, and it was like he found Magnus all over again every time their lips met. Every thrust brought them closer, and deeper then before.

The heat that rose between them moistened their skin, and brought them further until finally Alec pulled back enough to position himself on one arm. There was enough space between them he could thrust his cock with long heavy strokes, while the action mirrored to his palm over Magnus' own manhood. Magnus didn't protest this time, and finally just let Alec continue.

"Alex," Magnus cried, and the way Alec could feel his erection pulsing in his palm he knew his lover was close. He could feel his own climax coming, but fought it not willing to leave Magnus behind even for this. However, when his lover's body tensed around him, while his passionate cries echoed over the marble floor he lost himself inside. His hot, thick, seed filled Magnus, while his lover tried to hang on.

"Don't fight it," Alec breathed leaning over Magnus once more, but keeping enough distance between them his hand could move in open thrusts. "Come on Beautiful, let go." Those words were enough, his heart warmed while his climax shook him, and he felt himself shaking as he clung to Alec. A cry escaped his lips that left him spent, while his body convulsed beneath his Prince.

Magnus could hardly breathe, never had he had such a release, and when Alec finally let him go he ran his fingers over Alec's hips once more as if to accuse him of ending it too soon; they both knew it was time. Yet, there was always tomorrow. Alec kissed him once more, quick so that he could clean them both up. With tender motions he cleaned his lover, who was smiling for what he felt was the first time that night. However, neither of them could speak, and when Alec sat on the edge of the bed Magnus rose to meet him. Alec had been content to watch him for a moment, to marvel in his beauty, but when Magnus ran his free hand over Alec's cheek to tuck his hair behind one ear; He had to taste his lips just once more.

Like that; he was pulled back down, and the covers pulled up around them like the feather soft wings of the Angels. Magnus turned out the light, and Alec pressed his ear to Magnus' chest to listen to the heart that had always loved him. Magnus had been the unsung hero of it all, even if it was his doing. The world would understand—they had to; if only they could see Alec this happy. It wasn't a sin to love another man, but a sin not to love; and now with Magnus here he couldn't hide the way he felt. Against Magnus bare chest Alec smiled, but no one but God would see it. And while Magnus traced gentle circles over Alec's bare shoulder he too turned to the heavens—to thank them.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the long chapter, but if I broke it down in two parts it would have interrupted the mood, and I wanted your heart to rise and fall with Magnus'. Yeah, I could have gotten more reviews that way, but that's not why I write this story. **

**Though, they sure do push me forward! We are nearing the end! I'm sad! Are you?**

_Magnus could hardly breathe, never had he had such a release, and when Alec finally let him go he ran his fingers over Alec's hips once more as if to accuse him of ending it too soon; they both knew it was time. Yet, there was always tomorrow._

**That 'tomorrow' is already ab****out half way written, and I'll send you a snippet if you leave a review. Its hot, you want it. They've got a lot of love to catch up on!**

**A Big thank you to Ky, who is off on her adventures for two weeks across Europe. Watch out for her! Thank You Ky!**


	35. 34 Lost Til You're Found

**Warning: Adult Content **

**Chapter 34. Lost Til You're Found**

Step out the door and it feels like rain

That's the sound (that's the sound) on your window pane

Take to the streets but you can't ignore

That's the sound (that's the sound) you're waiting for

If ever your world starts crashing down

Whenever your world starts crashing down

Whenever your world starts crashing down

That's where you'll find me

Yeah God love your soul and your aching bones

Take a breath, take a step, meet me down below

Everyone's the same

our fingers to our toes

We just can't get it right

But we're on the road

If ever your world starts crashing down

Whenever your world starts crashing down

Whenever your world starts crashing down

That's when you find me.

(Yeah) Lost till you're found

Swim till you drown

Know that we all fall down

Love till you hate

Strong till you break

Know that we all fall down

If ever your world starts crashing down

Whenever your world starts crashing down

If ever your world starts crashing down

That's when you'll find (find) me

Lost till you're found

Swim till you drown

Know that we all fall down

Love till you hate

Strong till you break

Know that we all fall down

All fall down, we all fall down, all fall down

We all fall down, all fall down, all fall down

Lost till you're found

Swim till you drown

Know that we all fall down

Love till you hate

Strong till you break

Know that we all fall down

~All Fall Down, by One Republic

**T**his high above the city it seemed as though they were suspended above it, and dreaming among the puffy down filled blankets Magnus wondered if he would find himself falling. Gravity had no rules when they were this high, and he felt as though he were flying. Magnus, dreamed dreams that were too surreal to be true, and in that deep sedated state of bliss he didn't want to wake to find the truth.

He felt as though he had slept his night in heaven's reach, and the weight of his lover there beside him pulled him back down. With their bodies intertwined Magnus kept his hand gently on the small of Alec's back, and even in his sleep brushed the bare skin with his thumb. One leg was thrown over the back of Alec's knee to both protect him from the night, and reassure him he was still there.

Alec there with his black hair strewn across the pillow, and half covering his face made Magnus' chest tighten with the way the billowing clouds passing cast beautiful shadows only to reveal the sun again. The light burned across Alec's face, and lit up the gold in his porcelain skin. It was enchanting to watch, and even when his lover started to stir under the weight of his gaze he couldn't tear his eyes away.

Alec could feel him there too, and the Prince smiled still half asleep as if he wanted to laugh. However, in place of the sound he blushed while sweeping Magnus into his arms; pulling him in.

Magnus' hair was wild atop his head like that of a lion, and when he was pressed to Alec's chest he felt the Prince bury his nose in his ebon strands; his sweet breath was warm across his neck could have melted him there. With his back now against Alec's chest he traced the outline of his lover's arm in an attempt to memorize every curve.

"Go back to sleep." Alec murmured in Magnus' hair, and laughed when there wasn't a single protest. They had slept so much of the day away Magnus wondered if Alec would even realize how much time had passed. It was well past morning, and with the sun already so high he could wager it was almost noon. It became a game, and Magnus laughed lightly wishing he were less of a tease. However, he was rediscovering himself why not resurrect the best part?

Magnus shifted his bare backside against Alec in an attempt to taunt his lover awake, but was met only with the thin fabric of Alec's sleep-pants. When had he gotten dressed? He wasn't allowed to wear clothes to bed!

"Stop," Alec laughed opening his eyes again, and Magnus turned to pin him back with a pout.

"You are dressed…when did you get dressed?" He acted hurt as he stretched his body over his lover, "Its not fair that we went to bed naked, and you woke up without me? Why didn't wake me?" He stared at Alec for a moment unable to pull his eyes away. He was so beautiful. Even with the lines of his pillow across his face, and sleep clouding his eyes. Alec was quiet for a moment studying him while still trailing the tips of his fingers over the curves of his lover's arms.

"I've actually been gone all morning," With that Magnus opened his mouth in surprise, and his eyes widened while Alec defended himself, "I left you a note. I couldn't wake you. You looked so peaceful."

Alec cupped Magnus' face letting his fingers brush along the lines of his neck, and up over the back of his hair to tangle against the nape of his neck. His lover closed his eyes, and pressed his cheek into the touch. And Alec swore at any moment Magnus would purr.

"Why don't you go shower, and I'll take you to breakfast." Alec tried to smooth, admiring how rested Magnus seemed. He was at ease here, and the dark ugly circles around his eyes were starting to fade. In the simple suggestion, Magnus eased further. _Take him to breakfast…_Out in public, out above the city streets, and together? It made his heart soar, and Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's neck.

"What if I don't want to get up yet, what if I wanted to stay in bed all day." His grin was like that of the crescent moon— wide, and full of life; it spoke of another meaning, and the hidden message behind his words. Already his fingers started to work their way over Alec's chest, and the warmth spread in waves as he made his way down. He could get lost over this man, and just when it was clear they weren't leaving the bed Alec spoke up.

"What if I told you there was a surprise in the other room?" With that Magnus perked a perfectly arched brow up at Alec, and with his weight on his forearms he eased over the Prince further. Now, he was torn; his lover naked or a surprise? He loved surprises.

"What kind of surprise?" Magnus asked with a skeptical look, and Alec knew that had won him. He teased a glance to the door as if to bait Magnus further.

"The kind you will get, when you go look." Alec had already showered, he had been dressed once, and Magnus could tell by the way his day clothes were thrown over the back of his desk. The thought triggered a reaction, and he frowned with a worry towards Alec's closet. He would have to borrow clothes if they were going to go out; there wasn't a single way he could be seen in public with the Prince in the old rags that were his war clothes.

It was hard for him to think of his life outside of the Underground. Where would he go when he was not sheltered beneath his Angel's wings? What life would he live now? The thoughts were dark, and even Alec could tell something still troubled his Knight.

"Go look." Alec teased, and Magnus pouted. However, it was killing him. He felt guilty already, and he knew whatever it was—it would be beautiful. Yet it surprised him he hadn't noticed Alec gone, but he had been so tired Magnus was certain he would have slept through the second coming.

Slowly, Magnus pulled himself from Alec, and when the cool air hit his bare chest he wanted nothing more then to be covered with that old ratty t-shirt. He pulled on the sleep pants, but reluctantly left the shirt there on the edge of the bed while making his way to the mirror in an attempt to tame his hair. Alec watched him for a moment, and could tell he was nervous. He wasn't shy, yet reluctant, and though Alec knew he wouldn't take to the gifts well—he needed them.

"Come on," Alec smiled taking his hand, and pulled him down the hall. His pride beaming in how pleased he was to have pulled it all off. He could tell Magnus' steps were careful yet eager, but still reserved as if he were afraid. However, when they rounded the corner to the large living space, Magnus covered his mouth with his hand at the sight.

* * *

_**A**__mber eyes moved across the hood and Magnus finally noticed they were deeper in the city then he had been in a very long time. A hundred people walked the streets still so alive with the night, and the lights gave the wet stone a warm glow despite the cold. It had been years since he had been brave enough to venture in stomping ground that had once been his own. A wild child, Magnus Bane had lost his soul once in the downtown lights, and his virginity. Polished shoes and painted nails were in groups laughing as they passed from one club to the other, and he felt his chest tighten with the memory. The storefronts glittered with the latest fashions, flashing in the light, and he couldn't help but smile thinking back to when he was Alec's age. Careless, rich, and wild Magnus Bane couldn't imagine how much the man beside him had to carry. Where had his childhood gone? Everything was still just as it was, untouched by the turf war, and a hundred things caught his eye._

_"See something you like?" Alec asked so casually as if he had thrown all his caution in the wind, and that if Magnus wished he would march right in and buy him the entire store. The Lightwoods were some of the few that could. He wouldn't take his eyes off the road to even look at what the other man was looking at, but somewhere in his heart he knew. Magnus had been known for his outlandish outfits when they were in school, he was always getting in trouble for them. He was nothing like the man he was now, and now it was Alec's turn to wonder what sort of weight he carried._

* * *

**T**hat weight on Magnus' shoulders began to ease, but his heart felt heavier then ever. Alec had purchased the entire store. Everything was presented like a showroom, and hung along racks simply waiting for him. Every single glittering bangle to fitted black tee, jeans that were fabricated to look as like a second skin, and every shoe in his size. How had he known?

Magnus stood in shock, stone solid his feet were planted on the ground while everything in him wanted to protest. He couldn't accept this; he already owed Alec his life. How could he ever repay him for all of this? When his hand lowered from his lips Alec noticed that it trembled, and he pooled his arms around Magnus' waist.

"Alec, I can't accept this." He whispered, overwhelmed at it all, and unwilling to take his eyes away.

"Stop it." Alec spoke against his ear wanting him to let go of all the guilt, but Magnus could hardly move. "This is about rebuilding. This isn't about charity, or is it a favor. Magnus, your life was taken from you. Everything about the man that I love is missing. I found this," He grasped Magnus' arms to indicate his body, "But where are you?" Magnus hardly knew anymore, but still he shook his head.

The night before he had wondered the very same thing in his reflection, but was afraid of what he would find. He had lost himself in the cause, but gained the strength to continue. This kind of stuff seemed so trivial anymore, but how could he say anything?

"No…" Alec whispered against Magnus' neck, and started to sway with him when the faintest sound of a piano drifted through the hall, "You can't turn this down. Don't deny me the happiness to see you smile again."

With that Magnus let his head fall back against Alec's shoulder, and smiled. He could get used to being treated like this if only he could get past the guilt he felt. He didn't deserve to even be alive, but here he was being spoiled like some royal.

"Come on," Alec whispered against the tender skin of Magnus' temple after his lips brushed a kiss, and pulled him along.

The faintest hint of music rose from the room on the end Magnus knew to be his studio. When had it started? Magnus could remember the grand piano there against the massive windows that overlooked the city, but could only figure the keys moved by some ghost. Regardless, Alec led him there in the room where he had worked for so long in solitude; painting things no body ever understood.

Magnus was pulled to the middle of the floor, and he smiled lightly. Was Alec about to ask him to dance? He didn't need to—he never needed to. He felt his lover's hands warm, gentle, across the bare skin of his back, and he felt as though he should have been more eager to do as his Prince wished. Yet, all he could think of was getting back in that bed so he could wake up—this had to be a dream.

The piano was playing itself, programed with songs sweet and tender while fitting the mood in its light breeze like music.

"Go on." Alec motioned for the single door that joined the room with the master bath, and he took a seat at the desk like some regal half dressed King at his throne. "I've got a few phone calls I need to make, and then we'll go have lunch with Jem. Isabelle could probebly use the break."

Jem. Magnus had almost forgotten about the sweet boy, but before he could ask Alec picked up the phone; cutting him off like some kept housewife, but Magnus didn't mind. Instead he moved through the room admiring Alec's art, and brushing his hands over the various objects. He had gotten good, and Magnus thought back of the picture stained with blood from the day they met. Did Alec still have that somewhere?

The shower was more enjoyable this time, and he took his time still hearing Alec's voice drift over the stone. It sounded important, and when he shut off the water he swore he heard his name. He dried himself before he pulled the robe that he assumed was Isabelle's from the back of the door. Red silk somehow always belonged to Isabelle. With the warmth of the cover he started for the door but stopped seeing the vanity lights illuminating its contents.

There nestled in a cut in the wall was an elaborate dresser with lights outlining the entire mirror, and a seat with a red velvet cushion? Isabelle. She had become such a flower, but as far as he could remember she had always been with the current trends.

Magnus, brushed his hand over the marble countertop, and admired the pressed pods of the pigmented shadow. Khol liners, and brushes made of sable hair were flowered from a cup in the corner; and the small little jars of finely cut glitter were lined across the back. It was beautiful. It was all M.A.C., and he had to keep telling himself it wasn't his. However, he felt an ache—a longing! Isabelle wouldn't mind would she? Nervously he bit his lip, and took up the black liner.

When he lifted his gaze to look at himself in the mirror he didn't notice the way Alec was leaning against the doorframe watching him, but when he did his heart leapt from his chest while he slowly put the liner back. He acted as if he were a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Go ahead." Alec smiled, and there with his arms crossed over his chest lazily he looked so content just watching. But when Magnus moved his gaze from the reflection to look over his shoulder at him he smirked.

"I was just admiring Isabelle's make-up." He teased as he turned to face Alec now with his whole body, and watched cautiously as Alec closed the distance between them. It wasn't until he was next to his lover did he realize Alec was smiling. He knew something Magnus didn't, and it killed him.

"Isabelle has not lived here for years." The Prince started, "She stays every now and then, but she has her own life. She travels too much to have a real home." Alec took up the liner, and turned to prop himself up on the counter while motioning for Magnus to come closer. "Close your eyes."

Magnus arched his brow and narrowed his eyes at Alec, "What do you plan to do?" And with that Alec laughed.

"How do you think Isabelle got her eyeliner on so perfectly when we were growing up?" Alec held up his hands, and held the liner like an artist would a brush; his paint became that of pigmented shadows, and his canvas was that of the man he loved the most. "Trust me."

Magnus loved watching Alec paint, he loved watching the dedication he had in every stroke, and when he settled there between his legs his fingers curled over Alec's knees. Alec seemed to lose himself, and his concentration was so fierce that it appeared he tapped into a power greater than their own.

The brush was gentle across his closed his eyes, and when his lover was balancing his eyes between Magnus' own he knew he was surveying to make sure they matched. He really was very good at this, and Magnus had to wonder how much begging Isabelle had to do to convince her brother.

The closer Alec got to being finished the stronger Magnus became, and the more devious he felt. His fingers started up Alec's thighs in an attempt to see if he could break his concentration, but Alec never faltered. It wasn't until he cupped his warm palm over Alec's massive manhood did his lips break into a smile.

"Stop, or I'm going to mess up." Alec teased swirling the brush in the pod once more, and lightly tipped it in glitter before going back to work.

Magnus' hair was dry enough now to start standing on its own, and the fine shampoos added that final touch of what had once been before. He caught a glimpse of his reflection over Alec's shoulder and smiled the kind of smile that sank into his entire face. That broke Alec's concentration as he watched it, beautiful as it was, and he finally spoke,

"There you are."

_I found you._

Magnus' lips came so fiercely he didn't have time to catch his breath, but Alec sank into the kiss. His legs tightened around Magnus' hips until he felt the heat passing between them. They were supposed to be leaving, but when Alec's fingers skimmed beneath the robe he let it go to pool around Magnus' feet.

"God I want you," Magnus spoke between each kiss, his hands wild over Alec enchanting his erection to rise, until it was his turn to beg. How would ever repay Alec for his kindness? How did he show him how loved he truly was—had been.

Magnus wrapped his fingers around the bulge that was separated by the thin fabric, and Alec threw his head back in praise. The Prince felt nervous all over again, and Magnus could tell only in the betrayal of his eyes and the faint blush that colored his face. It wasn't like him to be so forward, but something primal woke inside the oldest Lightwood in how Magnus touched him.

"So take me." Alec's feet touched the floor while Magnus' hands still worked him, and finally his greedy fingers dipped beneath the hem of his sleep pants. "Magnus," It was scary to be so willing to be so submissive, and he felt his youth close over him. Alec was still inexperienced, but he wanted to be taken again by a man who loved him; not the one who had him last.

"Please?"

If Magnus had any doubt it shattered with that sweet little beg, and his own desire to fulfill his lover eclipsed that of his fear of hurting him. Magnus took Alec's hands, and pulled him to where the loft met the sky, and continued his exploration of his body. The glass of the windows was thick enough to catch bullets, and strong enough to support them both. He pressed Alec's back against it, and lifted him enough to force his legs up around his hips. He taunted his lover's entrance with fingers eager and well trained until all that could be said was how Alec's hesitation was flawlessly lost. He gripped Magnus' shoulders while crying out in sounds that surprised his lover.

Magnus wouldn't question if Alec was sure, the hard throb of the Prince's cock said he was willing. He wouldn't give Alec enough to time to say no, and knew his lover well enough that if it wasn't wanted he wouldn't have started it. Alec was not a tease, and in his eager whimpers it was clear which one of them was.

"Please…" Alec breathed feeling the hot oil slick beneath his thighs, and tingling as it made its way down. Every stone curve of Magnus' arms became his support, but when he felt his lover penetrate him he was thankful he was there to hold him up.

"Please what?" Magnus teased, and pouted his lips as he felt Alec squirm against him. He hadn't realized how wonderful it was to tease him, and loved to feel the way his body tightened around his manhood that was deep inside his Prince. He slowly started to pull out, but when he returned he deepened his penetration. He filled Alec as far as he could, and set the rhythm slow.

Alec's whole body went with his thrusts; rising and falling with each long agonizing dive. His hands gripped Magnus' shoulders as if to urge him further, and he knew his love worried of hurting him. How could he make him see that he no longer hurt? That those memories were just nightmares that he had gotten past, and forgotten about.

"Fa-faster," He cried, and Magnus picked up the pace. His strides were long, but the angle was a bit awkward. It kept them close, but even Alec knew it had to go. He pushed on Magnus' shoulders to break him from his rhythm, and when his feet touched the floor he could see the concern built in Magnus' eyes. Both of their breaths came in heavy falls, and the other waited patiently for the next move.

Alec turned with his arms rising to support himself on the thick glass of the large windows. It was a wall to them, but to the outside it was the only thing separating them from the sky.

Magnus closed in on the distance, his fingers moved to grip Alec's hips and arch them back to open his body over his sex; and Alec eagerly took him in. He liked the idea of the world outside them still spinning, and how the clouds of the blue sky seemed so close. He wanted to be fucked for all to see, to shout of their love, and in Magnus' hesitation he wiggled his hips to indicate he was ready.

This was the first time Magnus had been able to catch a full glimpse of the scar across his lover's back, and it almost took him to his knees. Jem was a saint when it came to his mending, but no amount of time could ever heal this wrong. The color would fade in time, but it would always be there. He had no right taking Alec like this, but when Alec stood to press his back against Magnus' chest he started to ease.

"Don't," Alec whispered while his fingers brushed up over the back of his neck, and his body stretched over Magnus' chest, "It doesn't hurt." Slowly he pulled his hips forward enough to feel the swollen tip of Magnus' cock, and then descended over it once again.

"Magnus…" Alec spoke his name in a quiet way that woke Magnus' touch once again, and he slid his hands forward over the flat surface of Alec's stomach.

"Yes my love?" With his Prince's head cocked back he caught the corner of his mouth in a kiss, and heat pooled between them. Alec parted his mouth over Magnus' lips in a moan, and the sound was enticing…it pulled Magnus back in.

"Take me?"

With a low growl Magnus did just that. His thrusts came fast and hard until Alec was forced forward with only his forearms to protect his face from the glass. He slammed into Alec, until he felt himself edging further.

Alec moaned feverishly into every thrust, and was forced against the glass. There Magnus was able to reach around him, and collect the aching throb of his cock into his warm palm still slick with the oils. His fingers rose and fell with in sync with his thrusts, and Alec urged him to go faster.

"I'm going to explode Alex…" Magnus felt himself build, until his quieter moans shifted over Alec's shoulders, and trying to hold back only made it worse. He filled his Prince in a burst, and the climax took his entire body. It caused his chest to shake, and his legs to burn as he held himself inside Alec's swollen body that seemed to swallow him.

Alec wasn't far, and Magnus could tell in the way he grew quiet. Never a very vocal lover, Alec always got quieter the further they went into it. He made little sounds that rose from his chest, but when he let his head fall back on Magnus' shoulder Magnus felt his cock pulse in his palm.

With his end, Alec turned in Magnus' arms to invade his lips, and made a quiet little whimper when Magnus' warm wet hands cupped his backside to keep him there until they were forced to take on the world once more.

* * *

**A/N: So Ky is still in Europe. She's not answered my email checking on her, so I assume she hasn't been able to connect. I miss her terribly, and though this isn't Beta'd I didn't think you would want to wait. So be easy on this, and know that there is probably only three chapters left in this story. **

**I have ideas for a sequel, if you have the desire to read it, but I recommend reading Tears from the Moon. The bad guy (cause I'm twisted) is in that one.**

**No snippet this week, but I'm sure I'll find some way to thank you for your review! I do have another story starting where Alec is possessed by a demon. Go check it out? Its set after CoFA, and my 'writers block story'.**

**Much love! Thanks for reading! Oh, and if you want I'd love to hear your guess as to how this is going to end? So shoot that in a review. I'm curious to see what you are thinking. Its important as an inspiring writer.**

**LOVE YOU ALL!**


	36. 35 A New Dawn

**Center of the Sun**

**Chapter 35. A New Dawn**

_Birds flying high_

_You know how I feel_

_Sun in the sky_

_You know how I feel_

_Breeze driftin' on by_

_You know how I feel_

_It's a new dawn_

_It's a new day_

_It's a new life_

_For me_

_ And I'm feeling good_

_ ~Feeling Good_

**C**ity streets and city lights could not compare to the thriving life in the way it shimmered in the sun. How many years had it been since Magnus could walk into the day like walking onto a stage? He carried very little of the weight that had once kept him underground, and felt his soul freeing from the bonds that held it. His eyes burned with the brightness of the day, and his skin tingled in the warmth. Alec had allowed him to take his time dressing, and he had selected carefully for his Prince; dressing to suit the man of his affections, and proudly taking up the side of his lover.

Alec had stolen little glances as Magnus dressed, while he spoke with the men who held his Kingdom together. He cared very little of the thoughts that crossed their minds when Magnus teased their Prince into blushes more crimson than the blood pulsing through their veins. Madame Lightwood had always kept good men around her grandson, and even now their disgust was more of the innocent image of their beloved Alec-not his preference in men. Hodge had been the one exception, but even she would have never known his true intentions. Deep down, the hatred of those who did not fit in had begun with the King before him, and his own obsession with the world Adolf Hitler tried to create. The war had sparked the idea, but it had been one single man to start the motion. He had book upon book of a time more primitive than their own, but no less savage. Hitler's idea of a perfect person came with blue eyes and blonde hair, but not the Fallen King; his came with ebon strands and ocean eyes. Somewhere, in his Hell the men around Alec wondered if the King smiled knowing Alec was to be handed his empire.

"I will have to leave you with Jem for a little while, if you don't mind," Alec stated as he opened the car door for Magnus, who looked at him through the lenses of his aviators. Alec's eyes were covered by dark glasses, but they were not as fabulous as Magnus'. Magnus liked seeing his Prince so relaxed, but he felt empty without Alec's beautiful blue eyes. However, seeing him in a leather jacket with a plain black tee, and jeans that were full in the legs-Alexander seemed a different person. He was a reflection of what Magnus had found in the ash, but stronger. He seemed sure of himself, and before Magnus slipped into the seat he lowered his glasses enough to look over the top of the frames.

"Just so long as you promise to come back," Magnus grinned, leaning into the door that separated them, touching the side of Alec's face. The Prince was relieved to know Magnus wouldn't question him, nor did he try and make him stay. Perhaps, even he knew there were still greater things that needed his attention, but neither of them were ready to bring it up. The world was waiting...

* * *

"**T**hey are right, Isabelle," Jem spoke while perched in the oversized bed looking paler than he ever had before. When Isabelle brushed her fingers over his arm she was taken back at how cold his skin was. "There is not a cure. It's not their fault. There is just nothing they can do." He didn't know when he had started crying, but when the long oversized sleeve of the hospital gown came to wipe his tears he sucked in a breath. Isabelle's heart broke. She hated to see him so defeated, but before she continued she felt the touch of another and it pulled her back in.

Camille stood over the shoulder of her lover, and brushed her warm fingers over the bare skin of Isabelle's arm as she tried to warm her again. She herself had known of the illness only in whispers through the Underground, but her only true first hand experience was when William died. She had known only of symptoms through watching him, and of what Magnus told her. When Jem came to the Underground it was with Will's blood on his hands, and the condemned look in his eyes of an outcast. Jem had been cast aside so quickly he came with nothing, and for weeks he said so little Camille worried he had lost his voice. She had taken him in, washed the dirt and tears from his face while breathing purpose into him again.

_'We need you down here, as much as they,' her words were soft, and only for him, for there was nothing careful about this woman. She was hard and course-calloused by abuse, and more deadly than all the Kings Horses and all the Kings Men combined._

No one had known of Jem's illness, and he was so good about hiding it he had almost been able to time his attacks-soothe them while his violin distracted the stress on his lungs. He had not found a cure, but prolonged it with settling his fears, and calming his mind. It was rumored he had won the affections of the French professor, and in that they had worked together on a cure. However, it was too late, and when Camille saw him with Will the day he died she knew a great part of Jem went with him.

"There has to be a cure, Jem. What about a transplant? I've heard of that before. Can't we just suck all your blood out, and put someone else's in it?" With that Jem laughed, and it was musical, almost childlike. His entire face lit up with the sound, and he stopped fidgeting with the tissue in his hand. Isabelle was so cute sometimes, and that moment made him forget how dire the situation was. He had given up a long time ago, but not without the desire to live. He didn't want death, nor did he accept it. However, Jean-Luc and he had spent months searching, working, and failing to find a cure. He knew that if Jean-Luc could not do it; it could not be done. The Frenchman was one of the few that knew of his illness.

Often Jem thought of his professor and he wondered, even now, what had become of him. He would lay in bed while the Underground slept the day away, and wish he could surface to find the Frenchman standing just where he had left him. He could see him in the lecture hall with his glorious hair falling over his face while words of wisdom and experience beyond his years left his lips like a sigh. After Will had died, it made him miss China so much. But even that had somehow been replaced by another affection—he was home wherever the Frenchman was.

Jem had worked so hard, that he never noticed much more than his studies. He worked through his classes, worked after with Will, and then each night would sneak away to secretly meet Jean-Luc to work on a cure. He knew his Professor didn't approve of William, but he never told him otherwise. Instead he encouraged the affection, and gave him hope there was a chance Will would survive; and in that hope, he would too.

"There has to be something," Isabelle continued her pleading, but finally fell silent when she noticed Jem was smiling. It was beautiful when he did, and a great big part of her knew that she loved him as much as Alec. "What?"

"It will work out," came his little reply, and he wrapped his thin arms around her neck while Camille touched his back.

"Besides," Camille stated in her dry, yet deadly tone, "I refuse to let you go." It was her way of letting him know she cared, but beyond that Camille was far too rough around the edges to ever allow anyone that close. Jem was surprised she had let Isabelle in at all, but the memory of Isabelle at the hospital let him know that they needed each other as much as one would need the air to breathe.

A careful knock came at the door, and when the massive oak parted, flowers came first with balloons not far behind. Alec stepped through the door with a small smile on his face, and Magnus was not far behind him. However, of the two, he was the one a bit more animated. Jem loved seeing Magnus so free, and how beautiful he was when he smiled. It was clear he was rested, and they both were glowing with their affections. Jem felt his chest tighten in his heart looking at Magnus now, and remembering how he had once looked. Their first meeting had not been one of his favorite memories, but looking at Magnus now made him realize how much had changed.

Magnus was the first to take Jem into his embrace after he sat down the lunch Alec had brought, but traded places when Alec's arms were free from the flowers. He let the Prince have his time with Jem, and took the time to close in on Camille. A kiss came with her embrace, and his long fingers smoothed down the back of her hair while they lived in each other's security. They were both safe, and it was over was it not? She had found love, and he had won back his Prince. However, when she lifted ruby red lips to question him, Magnus shook his head. They had not spoken of it, he and Alec, but it was coming. He would not let the sun set on another day of silence. Their relationship was one thing, but what would become of the Underground?

Jem's whole body could fit against Alec's chest, and he felt almost as if he could be lost there. His eyes closed when Alec squeezed him, and all the anger they had shared melted away. It was clear Alec had worried about him, and Isabelle had told Jem that Alec had visited while he was sleeping. Ultimately he was here because of the Lightwoods, and his health was centered to sustain his life a little longer. He felt safe with Alec, and somewhere knew that he would always have a home. Jem had not the chance to think of China, but did often wonder if his mother was still living. He wondered if the news of his 'death' had upset her, or if she had grown to expect it. Suddenly, he felt guilty, but when Alec pulled away enough to clasp both arms he truly felt horrible.

"Jem I…" Alec started, but was quickly interrupted.

"Alec, I'm sorry. Your home. Your grandmother's beautiful house is gone because of me." The guilt was almost comical because it was clear Jem had worried of this on his own death bed. His self sacrifice was enough to make the Prince feel as though he owed Jem the world. However, Alec was puzzled by Jem's admission, and furrowed his brow in question.

"How is that even possible? And it's not gone. The fire was contained, only a few rooms were destroyed, nothing important." With that, Alec perched on the side of the bed, knowing that wasn't enough for Jem. He would forever feel guilty until it was all explained.

"I was attacked by Mr. Starkweather, and I fought him back. I had him beat and when I turned to leave, that is when the attack started. I pulled the candles down. They went over the bed. Alec, I'm so sorry. I'll repay everything. I'll work until everything is restored." Sometime during the conversation, both Camille and Isabelle left. They had been there most of the night, and were eager to go home to clean up. The room was much quieter, yet seemed smaller without them. Magnus, who had perched against the distant wall, listened quietly, not wanting to interrupt.

"You…you saw Hodge? Did he make it out?" Alec asked, but before Jem could answer he followed the silver gaze of his companion to where Magnus stood. Did Magnus want Jem to tell? If so, why had he not done so himself?

Magnus' gaze was level, and looked just as dangerous as it always had. However, it held little protest, and with a small dip of his head he urged Jem to answer Alec.

"No…he did not. He was unable. He died in that fire." Jem didn't give Magnus away, but he watched as Alec's skin came to life with a shiver, and the Prince turned a look to Magnus who did nothing but wink. A great relief washed over Alec, and he felt his heart flutter in his chest. Was it too morbid to want to celebrate the fallen? He felt as though he could laugh, and cry all at the same time. However, he refused to do either, and this was what would set him apart from any other ruler before him. His enemy was dead, but it was still a life lost. "I'm sorry, Alec." In that Alec's attention broke free from his thoughts, and his ice colored eyes met Jem's once more.

"For what? For doing what you could? You are a hero, Jem. And your sacrifice will not go unnoticed. I was a total jackass to you, but still you stayed to fight my war. I'm proud and honored to call you my friend, and I made arrangements for you to finish school. However, I can make arrangements for you to go home if you wish, but I've also got a team searching the entire globe for a cure. I have sent out hundreds of letters requesting the best physicians, and a reward for any research that has to deal with your illness." With that Alec touched Jem's leg over the covers. His white haired friend seemed to be glowing warm, and his smile was brilliant—humble, yet beautiful.

"Alec, I don't know what to say," Jem was speechless, and beyond pleased. "School starts for the summer course next week. Will I be able to join then?" The tissue that had been forgotten on his lap came to dab at his eyes. When Alec gave a nod, he threw his arms around the Prince's shoulders as he buried his smile into his neck. "Thank you." Jem was a fighter, a true warrior simply caught in the middle of a war that was not his own, yet somewhere he had become the very heart of it, and with his success Alec knew it would inspire a nation. A lot had to change in his nation, but Alec never felt more certain he had started in the right place.

Magnus, who had been so quiet there perched on the wall with his thumbs in his coat's pockets, felt his heart race. He fought tears, and was successful as he didn't want his eyeliner ruined. Yet, when Jem smiled like that; the sort that filled his entire face, Magnus couldn't help but feel as though somewhere, William could see it too.

_Thank you…_

"Mr. Lightwood," came a voice from the door, the man to whom it belonged looked as important as they came. His black suit fitted tightly around his body, and the glasses he wore to shield his eyes reminded Magnus of a man at poker table who gambled on cards. "Its time." Alec looked up and gave a nod. He ran a hand through Jem's hair to smooth it back from his face before he stood to join the man. With that, Magnus pressed away from the wall in fear Alec would leave without saying good-bye. So badly he wanted to question his lover where he was going, and why he couldn't go too. However, Magnus knew he needed to let that temptation go. Alec wasn't leaving for good—despite his perfectly good reason to.

"I'll be back," Alec whispered as he stopped before the shadow of the man he loved, and brought a hand to clasp around Magnus' hips to pull him in. There was a dangerous look in Magnus' eyes that made him seem wild, but it wasn't the sort of threat he feared for his own life; it was that of a promise he would be hunted down if he didn't come back. He could read Magnus' longing to go too, but this was one place he could not follow him—not yet. "Hey…" Alec soothed as he cupped Magnus' face, "I promise I won't be long. Just…" With a small coil of his lips he canted his head to the television set hanging on the wall, "Why don't you watch for me?" With that, Alec brushed his thumb over Magnus' lips before kissing him tenderly before he departed.

Magnus was devastated to let him go, and wanted to fall to his knees to beg him to come back. Yet, something in the way Alec had mentioned the television, he wondered if perhaps it was time he learned to live without Alec just a little. He turned from the door to join Jem, and opened up the lunch that was still waiting patiently for them.

* * *

**I**n the short distance between the hospital and Parliament, Alexander Lightwood was transformed. His clothes were but a memory as they were replaced by a fine suit that made him appear older and much larger. Greedy fingers ran through his hair while products were applied with hands that were not his own. Men and women alike buzzed around him while they moved through the great halls of what was now his to rule. Not far behind them, the dangerous click of his mother's heels were hardly missed.

"Make sure his teeth are white." Much of Maryse had returned with the rise to power, and though the news of her mother's estate had upset her, she had not the time to dwell. "Alexander, stand up straight." He wasn't until she said that, but with a deep breath he made sure to push his nerves away.

Alec had become a marionette again, but this time he felt his structure sound—his footing secure. He knew what he wanted, and what he must do to achieve it. He knew of his place now, and took it all in while taking a deep breath.

"There isn't time to be nervous Alec, stop it. Your sister could do it." Was that supposed to help? His mother could be so cold, but he almost found it comforting to know she was herself again. He hated to see her cry, and when she broke down on him at Isabelle's bedside it struck him with a very real fear.

"I'm not nervous," Alec spoke in a soft-spoken reply. While an assistant powdered his face, he wanted to cough. He could easily choke on all the over scented people standing in one room, but strangely enough, it made him miss Magnus. Alec wished he could have brought his love with him, but even he could no longer kid himself like that. The world wasn't ready for someone as young as he to be crowned, nor was it ready for Magnus Bane. Yet, he had a plan. It was a good plan, and even thinking of it now made his heart sour even while his hands shook with nerves.

"You are too, Alec, look at you." She jerked his face forward, "Your lips are swollen, and…" Turning his neck she saw the marks and gasped, "Alec!" With that he pulled away from her touch, and covered Magnus' love bites with his fingers. The room went silent, but the woman who was powdering his face moved to start to cover his neck as well.

Alec couldn't find the right words to tell her the truth, and Maryse refused to give him the chance. She simply straightened his tie, and dusted his shoulders. Her son had grown up on her years ago, but standing before him now she could finally see what soon the rest of the world would. He was meant to be here, and was born for this. She had never felt her heart so full of pride, and when she motioned for the makeup artist to hand her the powder she took over. Alec submitted to his mother's wishes, and allowed her to cover up the bruise.

"It can pass as a bruise from the battle. That is what we will tell the newspapers." Maryse decided, and Alec fought the urge to roll his eyes. "It's so hard to think that my baby boy has grown up. Melting little green army men one day, and taking out mindless addicts with a sword the next." She smiled enough to lighten the mood, and even he felt his lips fill with the suggestion. However, he knew that this would be one of the few times they had any time together before the storm, and he had to tell her.

"I love him, Mom," spoke the Prince his voice soft spoken, but true. And it seemed as though Maryse somehow had accepted it a long time ago. There had once been a time in her life she would have thought him weak for loving, and would laugh telling him how he was too young to know love. Yet, her baby boy had been through hell and back—and still kept it all together. She was quiet at first, but when she moved her eyes to the other side of his neck her words fell like rain.

"It doesn't matter, Alec. You can't keep him, and you know it." Her whisper hurt as much as the truth did, because somewhere he did know. He would have to face the truth soon enough. It was unfair to Magnus, and would ruin them both. But he refused to think of it until her words, and when his face fell she was quick to catch his chin. "Don't, Baby." Her hand squeezed his shoulder before she pulled him against her. He was never too small to fill his mother's arms, and though growing she had never been there, Maryse had changed just like the entire world had. "It is for the best, but it doesn't mean it won't hurt. We'll get through this." She promised, before Alec felt another set of hands on him. He felt the fingers of his escorts pull him from her arms, and though he wanted to fight them—to this Alec submitted as well. It was his duty, and for the first time in his entire life he too felt compelled to take on something he had never asked for.

The hall was long and narrow; and despite everyone buzzing still around him all he could hear was his nervous breaths and pounding heart. At the end of the tunnel there was a light, and one so fierce he knew could almost wager the entire courtyard had never felt so alive beneath the spring sky. He stood in the midst of it, and was pressed before the podium like standing in the center of the sun. He felt as though every eye that looked on him now was only distant stars in the universe that they all shared, and looking out over the crowd who clapped for him, he found strength in the numbers. All of England had come out to see their future, and listen to his first public speech as if knowing they would witness a great change in the nation. Alexander Lightwood held peace like he held his heart in his hands; willing to sacrifice his own love to make sure this nation survived. Too many wrongs needed a right, and too many forgotten needed a life. He was the key, and when his trembling hands moved to either side of the podium there came a hush upon the crowd like none other. Alec blinked in the sun while looking up into the beauty, which he felt for certain, was his Grandmother's love. A small breeze shifted a few strands of his combed hair over his brow, and with that he smiled.

"The sun is shining…" Alec started, as his voice slipped into the many microphones and spilled out like a symphony over the crowd. It faltered, and he felt himself so nervous that his eyes closed for a moment before opening again on the words written before him. They had given him cards to read, but already he had lost his courage to simply conform to what was expected of him. He looked out over the crowd to see faces of every shape and color. He saw the rich stand with the poor, and the forgotten with the found. He could see women, men, and children all divided in their lives, but together now. They wanted to hear him say the words of their freedom, and the peace that was promised as badly as they wanted to fall to their knees in prayers of tomorrow. However, the crowd waited for him to continue, and when he finally did…

"Means a new day has dawned." The only separation it seemed in those who gathered was that of the shadow and those in the light. The rumors had brought the Underground above, and like Magnus, they felt as though they were stranger's to the sun. "And it means that you will no longer have to hide in the dark."

_ Or be afraid…_

* * *

**A/N: So this is not the last chapter. I'm pretty sure Ky was going to travel to WV and kill me. Lol. Thanks to her again for her awesome Beta services, and just being one hell of a cool cat. I'm gonna marry her you know? Also, go check out her fic Depths of the Heart.**

** There is only one more chapter left, and an epilogue. I have a feeling I'm going to be killed, but I do plan on doing a part two if you will read it. Review and tell me you will? I'll post a snippet in your inbox, and I think after this...you will want it. Mwhhahahahahaha**

** Thank you!**


	37. 36 Eyes Reflecting as Mirrors

**_Please read Author's Notes_**

**Chapter 36. Eyes Reflecting as Mirrors**

_**I**n every part of a young man's life there is the crossing from childhood's wildest hour, to the very second you became a man. Alec in the heavy way his breath rose, and his shoulders eased back to face his destiny he did just that. In the lights of the cameras and the sounds of their eager claps he put behind him all his wide eyed childish fears, and became their King. His nerves died while his heart came to life again, and standing there with the entire world watching Alexander Lightwood became their greatest accomplishment; the one true survivor. He became their security to a brighter greater tomorrow, and most of all he found himself._

_"There isn't any more reason to hide." He spoke not only to the crowd there gathered on the square, but as well the entire nation. "You can come out. You can face this day with me." Alec spoke to them careful to not sound too proud; he spoke to them like he spoke to Magnus, with as much love and conviction in his voice to secure his place in their heart. "This day. This very day, we start over. I will right every wrong, and welcome each and every one of you back to the security and safety of what it once was like to live above ground. Today the blood ends, and we start over again."_

* * *

**J**em was thankful to have Magnus there, and after the nurses had come in with their heartbreaking promises of releasing him today they had yet to return. The hour was growing late, and the afternoon was pressing on. Somewhere in the midst of the conversation floating between he and the Underground King, Magnus had stretched out beside him on the oversized bed, and Jem marveled at how rested he appeared. He had never known Magnus to be like this, having first met him in the middle of a bloody attack on the city streets, and from there on he knew only of the weight the man carried. Magnus had kept them all together, and wasn't given a chance to fall apart; Jem never told anyone of the nights he heard Magnus sobbing beside Alec's bed, or of the look on his face when he saw the Prince broken in Jem's arms. Ever since that dreadful day Magnus had become a shadow of himself, and they all feared of the man Magnus without his Alec. However, here sleeping on his side Magnus appeared to be a different sort, and one Jem was excited to get to know.

Always had he wondered what it was that had driven Magnus underground, and just like his own little rumors they had their own about Magnus. It was easy to be inspired by the stories all around him, but even more so Jem was thankful to have known the love behind it all. It gave him faith in the future, something he lost when William died.

Somewhere in the middle of everything he had found it easy to write, translating to paper what it was that very much deserved to be written in the stars. Theirs was a perfect love, Magnus and Alec, the sort you found in works of fiction, or legends of lore. They would be sung about in years to come, and every time Jem thought about it he heard his heart sing sweetly in his ears while it fluttered in his chest.

Title: Two Hearts Align Into One

Two destinies allied into one cosmic phenomenon

A love more true than fates power

A collide not seen before

Hearts beat as eyes connect

Neither knowing what's in store

Falling into place that first night

Hiding behind a thin veil

Wanting more, but fear running high

Neither made solely of steel

Wanting to reach up and touch the sky

Bitter feelings and tears

Forgiven kisses and stolen touches

Eyes reflecting as mirrors

Pulling him into their clutches

He closes his eyes

He sees those of only one

He doesn't want to sever those ties

He knows what must be done

Together they would fight

A seal of bonding forever marked onto skin

A kiss for all to see in the night

When two being fuse

A fight with eternity, they will prevail

A love to remain strong and true

"Is he asleep then?" Spoke a nurse who finally came to release Jem, and it was clear it was her first shift of the day. Jem smiled first to the woman, and finally down to where he had let his hand fall away from the notebook on his lap to trail his fingers through Magnus' hair.

"He is." It was clear on the nurse's face that the entire wing had grown to love Jem, and his sweet little voice; like a bird that one, who always sang sweetest in the early morning hour. Yet, like everyone they formed their opinions of the white haired boy too soon, and when the nurse asked if Magnus belonged to him Jem's face flushed bright red.

"Oh...n-no, he is just a good friend." He felt his face so hot that he feared if she checked his temperature that she would demand he stay, but the nurse's warm laughter eased away his tension.

"Forgive me. He is just very handsome, I figured it would take a man very handsome to win such a sweet thing as you." Her warm palm touched his cheek as if she praised a child, and to that Jem smiled as well.

"Actually, he belongs to me." Spoke another voice from the door, and Camille sauntered in the room like the deadly leather wearing panther that she was. Her blond hair whipped between her shoulder blades, and her accusing eyes cut through the nurse when she came around the bed. The nurse handed Jem the paper work to continue on her rounds, but left with promises he believed in that he could go home. Camille's heavy steps moved around the side of the bed to quickly smack Magnus' leg,

"Wake up." She barked at him in her monotone voice that seemed to pull her ruby red lips back over pearly white teeth that were as deadly as the poison on her kiss, "Your Prince is on TV."

Magnus was startled and gripped Jem's arm until he realized where he was, but it was Jem who smiled down at him, Camille had taken a seat to flip on the television while they all settled to watch Alec on the television set.

"_I ask for a truce. I ask that for both sides to stand down, and I command only your patience. I will give shelter to those who are without, food to those who are starving, and a life to those who are without. I…" Alec's voice paused as he looked up from his hands to the crowd again, "I can't take back what was done. I can't give you back your fathers, your mothers, or the loves that were lost. But I can promise you the security that I will not let you fall."_

Magnus covered his mouth with the tips of his fingers, and when the camera panned away from the thousands of faces it closed in on Alec—his heart soared. _Look at him_…he thought, how beautiful. So this was where he had to go? Somewhere Magnus couldn't follow, but into a world he fully understood. In many ways the forgotten had made him their King, and he accepted the role fully. However, watching Alec now made him realize that even he could wear a crown quite the same.

"You should go down there," Jem spoke having stood up to dress, and when Magnus turned to see the half naked boy pull his shirt on he knew he was right. Camille could stay with Jem, and together they could make their way down when he was finally released. But Magnus was afraid, of what he wasn't certain, but it was a very deep real fear. Yet, it was easy to go once he gave himself the push.

The city had transformed again, the stone streets vacant like this made Magnus think of the Underground. He was reminded in how lonely it felt separated from the surface, but with the late afternoon sun sinking further through the tall buildings it cast an eerie orange glow over what was left of London. Yet, it was not the darkness that kept him from the rest, but the truth in Alec's words as they echoed through the lonely streets. Every step that carried him to the square caused his heart to pound, and along the way he felt frozen unwilling to go any further.

"_Together we can rebuild this city like that of our future, and secure within each other faith that we shall never fall again."_

Alec's words were so beautiful, and spoken like a true King. Quietly at first, the words of the young Prince moved him, and the tears that came fell like rain as he took refuge on the stone stairs of one of the many cathedrals ruined by the war. Those who had taken refuge in the Underground had come to call these skeleton churches home, and clung to the symbols associated with their faith. At first Magnus had not noticed them, blood and fire had stained the stone walkways, but from the ash those forgotten started to rise.

"He said food," A voice came from behind Magnus as a young mother with her mix raced son moved from the rubble, "He will provide us with shelter." Spoke another face that came from the dark, and slowly one by one Magnus watched as the tattered souls of his once outcast kingdom started to make their way to the square.

"What if it is a trick?" It broke Magnus' heart to see the doubt, but what amazed him most was that not a single one of his once faithful subjects recognized him. Had he changed that much? His silence kept him invisible, but the desire was there to ease them along. They would come to love Alec, the whole world would; how could anyone not? However, he had led them under, but this moment belonged to Alec to lead them out. He loved Alec, and trusted him to do what was right. Their love would never be enough, but there was so much of him that just simply couldn't give up. Yet Magnus, couldn't face the crowd, and quietly slipped inside what was left of the tormented cathedral. However, he wouldn't get very far.

Their hands were gentle at first, but the solid weight of them were reassuring as in the dark entry way they reached for him.

"You are alive." A woman's soft words broke his heart, but it was the sorrow there in her eyes that claimed him. She had worried, and upon looking around at all of the refugees from the Underground it was clear they all had almost given up on him. "Everyone look. It's Magnus! He is alive!" They came at him slowly with open arms, and smiles relieved to see him standing there like a phantom in the archway of the door. "We were so afraid." One by one they gathered, the last more willing than the first to show their respects.

At first he wanted to question them, to call them out on hiding even now as the Prince was offering peace, but seeing the fear on their faces it was clear they had truly suffered too much to trust so blindly that of a governing official. But Alec was different—how did he convince them? Their children were starving, and each pair of lost eyes seemed so haunted.

"Where do we go now, Magnus?" Looking around he took a deep breath, and ran a hand through the soft hair of one of the children attached to his leg unwilling to let go. Guilt hit him hard that he had been dreaming warm in his love's arms while still the Underground suffered with no place to go, but this was it was it not? This was their chance to step out into the sun.

"Go…" Magnus said to the few able men, "Go gather everyone you can. Tell them its time. Tell them we will make our final stand. If what he promises is true, than we will make him swear it." With that hope did rise, and the many hearts pounding as one inside the cathedral started to move to follow their King once more.

* * *

**T**he first thing Camille always noticed about Jem when he was pleased was the way his silver eyes seemed to light up like the brightest side of the moon. It was a pale color that made his lashes seem as black as Isabelle's, and his skin like snow. However, now what truly caught her heart was his smile, and the way his steps were absently taking him to the one place he longed for the most.

"Jem, the town square is this way." Camille quipped wrapping her long fingers in the bend of his arm, and that little action brought him back down.

"Oh, I know. I'm just…" He stretched to the top of his toes to look over the stone wall that had always divided the town into districts, and the university's bell tower was still there; still standing tall-like Jean-Luc, but it had been damaged a little during the fire. "I'm just excited is all." When the breeze pushed at him, his white hair brushed across his cheek, but Camille rolled her fingers back to brush it behind his ear.

"Go on, just come to the square when you are finished?" That was all Camille needed to say, and Jem gave a small nod to eagerly slip to the clock tower where Jean-Luc's office had always been—his heart soaring with wings far too excited to stop.

* * *

**A/N: Omg…she updated! What! Guys…I have been a mess, and absolute mess. With work busier than it has ever been with Murder Trial after Murder Trial (serious two in one month, we normally only have one a year.) I've gone home in tears many times. On top of that while in DC for a much needed girls weekend out my phone was stolen. I've been super stressed, and so busy that I hardly have time to even eat. Plus my own father is facing felony charges, my half siblings have been living with me because our dad beat up their mom. (all is well now) So for this, I've wanted to say I'm sorry. If you follow me on Twitter you've known what has happened, but there wasn't a way to tell all of you. I guess I could have thrown up Author's Notes, but I know I get sooooo upset when I wait and wait and wait for a fic and it turns out to be an AN. So there might be two more chapters depending on how long the end runs, because I didn't get to cover HALF the stuff I wanted to.**

**I also am not pleased with this chapter, but I wanted to give you SOMETHING. I wanted to let you know what was going on, and that things are FINALLY calming down. Ky didn't get a chance to Beta this one because our emails are fail, so if you see something wrong holla. Plus go read her other fic, it's so cute.**

**The Poem Jem 'Writes' was actually written by SeptemberEnds for this fic. She…is amazing! That was in my inbox on a day that I was very heartbroken and made my day. Also check my profile over the next few days to see some killer art that was inspired by this fic. I love you all sooooooo much. **

**Things have been really really really really hard, so love me? –hugs- Thank you all. **


	38. 37 My Secret Heart Forbidden

**Please Read Authors Notes**

* * *

****Quick recap, we left Camille and Jem on the outskirts of the University where Jem promised Camille he would join them later, he just had to do one thing, and in his excitement he took off for the Clock Tower. **

**Alec had just addressed the nation without Magnus, but little did he know his lover was gathering what was left of the Underground for one final stand.****

* * *

**Chapter 37. My Secret Heart Forbidden  
**

_The ice is thin come on dive in_

_Underneath my lucid skin_

_The cold is lost, forgotten_

_Hours pass days pass time stands still_

_Light gets dark and darkness fills_

_My secret heart forbidden..._

_I think you worried for me then_

_The subtle ways that I'd give in but I know_

_You liked the show_

_Tied down to this bed of shame_

_You tried to move around the pain but oh_

_Your soul is anchored_

_The only comfort is the moving of the river_

_You enter into me, a lie upon your lips_

_Offer what you can, I'll take all that I can get_

_Only a fool's here..._

_I don't like your tragic sighs_

_As if your god has passed you by well hey fool_

_that's your deception_

_Your angels speak with jilted tongues_

_The serpent's tale has come undone you have no_

_Strength to squander_

_The only comfort is the moving of the river_

_You enter into me, a lie upon your lips_

_Offer what you can, I'll take all that I can get_

_Only a fool's here to stay_

_Ice by, Sarah McLachlan_

**I**n the heart of the change there would forever be the doubt, but looking out on the crowd Alec saw only the very heart of the nation with the relief over their eyes. They did not suffer like the Underground did, but seemed as willing to take him as a King as any other. He thought it too easy, and half wondered if they simply didn't take him seriously. The Prince made promises that politicians never kept, and sometimes that was truer than the glorious words that came from great men. She came in like a storm; the idea of a brighter tomorrow, but the Underground came in like the night.

The crowd was stone, silenced by the figures that emerged as if the forgotten had been a plague that pulled from the memory of years past. What were they there for? However, Alec didn't seem surprised. As the tattered and torn souls with their weary eyes made their way towards the front of the crowd Alec spotted the one who mattered the most; the ghost from the past who had become his future in a single night, and the man whose hands held his heart between such beautiful fingers. Closer to the platform they came, and when the guards came to press them back Alec's voice broke through the confusion.

"No, let them pass. They have every right to be here too." His command was short, and on the edge of the stage he caught Magnus' eyes. He had left him with Jem, but clearly he should have known. His place was there, and no amount of pretending could ever bring him to forget that truth. Magnus had been outcast like the rest of them, and it would not be like him to simply take the charity given to him. Alec knew he loved him, and he returned the feelings. However, this was something that he would never break Magnus from, and had his plan.

"We came to hear your promise, Lightwood. We came to make you swear it." Magnus looked as deadly as ever with his eyeliner smudged around his eyes that seemed to hold that glow that spoke of powers undefined. "I have come before you with an offer of peace, and to hold you to your truce." The Underground King held open his hands as if to lay his cards on the tables.

Around them the guards moved in further with weapons poised and ready, but none were prepared for what came next. Alec moved from the podium and came to the edge of the platform to offer Magnus his hand, and the other took it with a smirk that was reserved. Alec knew it's meaning, but the rest would miss the love they shared. None of them knew it was Alec had pulled him from his Hell just like this once, and would never let him fall.

"Hi," Alec whispered looking up to the other man with that sheepish smile of his, and Magnus returned the gesture with his back to the crowd. However, when he turned to face the crowd Alec's words continued.

"Hi. Sorry. Camille is with Jem. I.." Before he could explain Alec extended his hand, but not to be taken like lovers do. No, this was the sort of hand that came with promises, and when a silence fell over the crowd Magnus took it.

"You had to do this, I know," Alec whispered back as he shook Magnus' hand, and the clicks of the cameras made up the only noise that still came from the crowd despite the small sounds of approval. When Alec faced the crowd again they cheered, and relief washed in as they stood there. "You owe it to them." Alec still spoke in a voice that only Magnus could hear while placing his hand on his lover's shoulder, but he would miss the way Magnus was looking at him.

"I owe it to you." With that Alec shifted his glance to catch the man's eye, and Magnus squeezed the shoulder he held on to. "I love you." The expression caught the Prince off guard, but his heart still soared. His whole body wanted to fall into Magnus and as their faces inched a bit further together, Maryse moved to separate them.

"Alexander, we have much to do still." She smiled to the crowd, but turned a glare on Magnus while the team came again to collect the Prince and ripping him from Magnus' hold. All Magnus could do was watch him walk away, knowing this battle was far from over, and he wondered when he would ever get to see his Alexander again. However, just as the question quieted the pounding of his heart, Alec turned a glance over his shoulder and mouthed the word.

_Church._

* * *

The awakening started on his walk through the campus, and Jem's heart fluttered in his chest like some wild winged dove that knew no bounds. His steps were swift, the gate of his walk more like a slow jog as he bound down the path in search of one thing. The thoughts so pure that raced his mind, led back to one man. Even before William, the affection was there, the need to be accepted, and the desire to make him proud. Long raven black hair, fine detailed fingers beneath beautifully adorned sleeves, and ordinary words spoken like a prayer in a French accent that placed him with kings. _Jean-Luc,_

All he could think about was racing up those stairs, throwing back the great oak door of the Professor's study, and seeing him seated there like some Lord by the fire with books older than he was spread out across his desk. Jem wanted nothing more that to confess, what harbored in his soul ever since William released his heart. Death was a brutal way to end a relationship, but Jem had suffered in silence enough. Time had passed that had healed, and though the affection he felt for the Professor burned on black wings he knew it to be true.

Jem felt so small again beside the mighty oaks, but moving between them now made it feel as though they carried him. The wind that chased through the bare branches budding with new life gave him strength to continue when his lungs burned. His legs felt warm as the blood pumped swiftly from a heart that refused to give out just yet, and finally Jem found himself running.

The eyes of those he passed ignored him for the most part; some surprised at such a beautiful thing as it moved over the stone like a storm, but for the most part no one cared. No one seemed to remember him, and for the first time in a better part of a year Jem felt as though all would truly be all right. All he had to do was reach those stairs.

* * *

_"But I do not understand. The war is over. Why does the military not do anything?" Jem asked feeling eyes of those who had taken refuge here on him as they passed together, "How hard would it have been to simply bomb them all today. Kill all of those people?" With that said, Jean-Luc, turned a look of surprise down to the little youth under his arm, and was instantly taken back. He had never imagined that Jem was capable of such words, but when he got a better look at Jem's coat he could see the weather faded wording of his father's name. Jem had grown up in the secluded mountains of China, how was he to know?_

_"What if they are the ones who are right?" Jean-Luc asked quietly as he slipped the key from his pocket to push open the old oak door that led to a room far too beautiful to ever be an office. The tall windows overlooked all of London, and now Jem knew how the Professor had known he was in trouble. Below he could see the small shadows of the rebels still on the streets; their destruction still lighting up the night. How could people so violent be right?_

_The tea set was still warm, and when Jean-Luc took off his coat he was quick to settle in the chair to prop his bad leg up. "Go hang your coat, and then come sit with me." A ghost of Jean's hand motioned to the chair opposite of him, and the wave of the lace cuff broke his attention. Jem turned from the window to take off his father's coat, and moved to hang it where the Frenchman's did._

_The clock tower was beautiful, and where there were bookcases full of old books there was also gears and cogs far too polished to have ever belonged here. The ceiling was high as it stretched into the workings of the ancient clock, and Jem wondered when the bells chimed if the entire room would shake. The actual brass bell was outside, but still the room was so close it had to be loud. The large hands of the clock's face were shadows against the glass and almost haunting, but it fit the Professor very well._

* * *

Every time he had gone back all he could think of was that night, when the streets had ran with blood of the innocent, and the black winged Professor had pulled him from this hell. He would have been killed had it not been for those cold hands, and dead still even without them. In the short months he had known William he had loved him, but this…this was something different. This was what months of darkness would bring you, this is what came from life without a sun, and this was what happened when death made you forget you were alive. He didn't have much time left of this world, and Jem knew his days would be numbered. Yet, upon that first step…the one there with the white cross embedded in the marble, he felt he couldn't measure a moment like this in the grander scheme of it all. How did one put such a limit on his life?

"Professor!" Jem's voice, sweet like a song, sang up the spiraling stairs and his steps set the tempo to which he climbed. "Jean-Luc!" He had looked already in the class rooms, but this late in the day the Professor was always here. He had his afternoon tea here, and fed the rumors of him feeding from the blood of a virgin. "I'm free!" He shouted upon the top step, knowing that the words 'I'm back' and 'I'm here' couldn't mean as much as what it was to truly find the freedom Jem felt.

Without looking Jem could see him standing there, and long before he even turned the handle the long silhouette of the Frenchman came to his mind's eye. When the door to the room wasn't locked, he felt his heart skip a beat, and pressed back the fine oak to reveal what he _knew_ had been waiting like he promised.

But the room was empty….

Not even a single piece of paper remained, and at first Jem's thoughts refused to register what his eyes did see. The wind that pushed him here came tumbling in after, with leaves as dried as the way his mouth felt, and when little strands of his moon colored hair came to tickle his lips he hardly cared.

"Professor?" Jem called out, in a voice that sounded like a sigh, but one that refused to give up. His desk was gone, the beautiful carpets and the books, the skeletons of small animals and the gears, all of it. Gone. 

_No…_

And with that realization came a great force that caused Jem to sink onto his knees.

* * *

Twice now Magnus had stood before the Lord in a Church that felt like a ghost from his past. Stained glass windows broken left behind little bits of rainbow colored glass across the floor, and as the sun set through them the amber light warmed his skin while he waited. By now the crowds had gone, the refugees separated into hospitals for treatment they had been so long without, and the rest sank in relief inside what few homes still stood.

Brittle pages of weather worn books and dried leaves scattered the crimson red of the Church's floor while long ghost like sheets draped over the back of pews and breathed with life with each swell of the breeze. Here Magnus waited, like a fool he thought, for a boy that wasn't going to ever be able to slip away, and the silence was enough to slip inside his sanity and pull out what was left of it with a thin silver line.

He hated to feel so alone, and hated it more than ever to feel it now. He had known the Underground and he had once remembered what it was to regularly attend this Church with a family that had forsaken him, but of the two he would stay here on his knees all night to keep from going back to a life without Alec. And so he sank in grief, there upon the alter he found himself facing his sins all over again.

_"Our Father, which art in heaven,_

_Hallowed be thy Name._

_Thy Kingdom come._

_Thy will be done in earth,_

_As it is in heaven."_

The words left his lips in a quiet whisper as he spoke to God, thanking him, begging him for forgiveness, and feeling as though for what he felt was the first time redeemed. The blood to which he shed was of the sort that served a greater purpose but still he felt the guilt of taking a life that was never his to take, and though he knew such a divine and holy place would never accept him, Magnus only asked for one thing.

"There on your knees, Bane, I thought for a moment you actually believe." Alec's voice broke through the church in such a fashion that the small scatter of roosting birds moved from one side of the ceiling to the other, but Magnus wouldn't look at him just yet. Instead he moved the tips of his half gloved hands to wipe away the tears that he didn't know he shed.

"And whoever said I didn't, Lightwood?" He spoke with his back still to the Prince, and though his tone was a fearful sound, Magnus was smiling. That smile would soon turn on Alec who opened his arms so that he could meet them, and Magnus did. Like a child he longed to be held and upon meeting his Prince he let Alec do just that. He pressed his head to Alec's shoulder listening to his heart that he could feel against his cheek, and smiled as Alec ran his hand up through his hair.

"Did you think I wasn't coming?" Alec asked as he trailed the tips of his fingers over the back of Magnus' neck, and ran the other down his spine. "You should know better than that." Alec didn't need an answer to know what Magnus was thinking, he had thought about it the whole way here.

_How would this ever work?_ However, before the question ever got any further on his thoughts, his lips were kissed and rightfully so. Magnus met his mouth with a whisper of _I love you_... first before he pressed his lips to Alec's, but when they did take in the Prince, Alec's whole body melted into his. The eagerness in the kiss extended to their hands, and for that Alec was thankful Magnus held him so tightly.

"I love you," Alec said breathlessly between kisses, and brought his hands to snake around Magnus' neck for further support. But just before he could continue, and when Magnus almost lifted him from his feet he pressed his hands to the taller man's chest, "Wait." It was hell to say that, to stop him now, and hell enough to be tortured with not knowing where to go next. But this conversation had to happen.

"No, Alec. Please." Magnus refused to open his eyes, refused to allow himself to separate from the Prince just yet, and to try and convince him further he ran his hands under Alec's shirt to skim along the smooth surface of his sides and along his back, "I know what you are going to say. I know we can't do this. I know what comes next, but I refuse, I refuse,_ I refuse!_" He hung his head then, clutching the boy to him, but as well refusing to cry anymore. He should be immune to this now, but just wasn't.

"Magnus…" Alec sighed, but not the sort that sounded as though he had given up. And when he took Magnus' face in his hands he kissed him once again, but this time the touch of his lips was soft and promising. "No, baby. I can't live without you. We can make this work. I want this to work. I just…" He sighed, pressing his forehead against the other man's in an attempt to quell his frustration at the entire ordeal, and how badly he knew this was going to hurt them both.

"You just came out of shadows, out of darkness, out of hiding. How can I ask you to go back? How can I do that to someone I love? But Magnus, I have to be honest with myself. I will have to win this whole world over, not just this nation. They won't take me seriously, or worse they would kill me if they knew the truth. " Alec spoke all at once as he brushed his thumbs over Magnus' cheeks, and there in the dying light he knew he was already asking too much.

"All I need is a little time. One year. One year to make this all right, and to right every wrong. I can do it in a year," Alec whispered now as he started to slowly sway with Magnus there in his arms. He held him close while they danced to the sounds of their beating hearts, just as they had danced that night with the piano playing at their side, but Magnus wasn't crying anymore. His eyes were open as they found a place over Alec's shoulder to study while his thoughts ran circles around his heart.

"Just one year?" He asked without moving, finding the way the light through the stained glass seemed to sparkle on that tacky red carpet, and in a voice that was quiet he continued, "One year of what? Living in your shadow? Being that dirty little secret that sneaks into your bed at night only to leave before morning? I'll get to stand as some toy forgotten on the side while you do all the dirty work?" When he put it that way, it sounded like hell, and Alec felt his heart tumble.

"Well…" The Prince pressed his cheek against Magnus' as he as well found something to stare at over the other man's shoulder, "I was going to offer you a place in the House. A Seat there in Parliament so that way we can work on a better tomorrow together, but when you put it that way it sounds like a stupid idea." It was Alec's turn to let his face fall as the shame swelled inside him of ever thinking this would have worked, but what he missed was Magnus' smile once more and for a good long moment he felt the silence was enough to separate a year between them. However, Magnus finally spoke,

"Do I get to have a title?" With that they both laughed, and the sound of it was beautiful, like the choirs that once sang in places like this—when there were things worth writing songs about.

"You can have whatever you want." Alec pulled back to catch Magnus' eye, and smiled as he dipped the Underground King back as if they really were waltzing across the floor, "I'll give you whatever you desire. I'll fill every one of your days full of exciting new things that you won't even realize a year will pass." His lips landed on the pulse on the sensitive part of Magnus' neck, and he breathed, "Every night we we'll spend together. We'll travel the world, see new things, and all the while rebuild what should have never been broken."

Magnus righted himself there in Alec's arms, a very serious look following such joyful words made him feel as though he should have just said yes, but this was asking a lot of him. He had just come from a world where he had to hide what he was, and who he loved. However, Alec wasn't asking this out of spite or cruelty. He was right. He needed time to make the world love him, and gain their trust. He needed to be their King before he could go throwing such things like 'love' around. Magnus knew there would never be a day when such a man could truly be accepted for loving another, and in Alec's case it could cost him everything. The nation would go back to the way it was, and ultimately they both could be killed.

"I need you Magnus. I need you more than I think you will ever know. I can't do this alone, but most of all I can't live without you." That was all Magnus needed to hear. That was everything he needed to hear, and without saying anything more he just let himself fall back into Alec once again. Their lips met, his arms went around Alec's hips, and his hands beneath his shirt.

"I will." _Do whatever it takes…whatever you need…I will be whatever you want, just keep me close._ Unspoken between them words of forever moved along the lines of Alec's jaw and down his neck as he eased the Prince back. "Yes." He continued as the back of Alec's knees came to a halt with the first pew and hungry hands came to relieve him of his shirt. A feverish need broke out between them that would have them consummate their vows right then and there. Alec moaned as he arched his bare back against the upholstery as Magnus all but ripped away his defenses, and as the darkness of the evening unfolded their love continued well into the night.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So if you are still reading this PLEASE let me know. I'd kill to have just a little quick, "Yes I am, you are forgiven for not updating." I've been sick, and will be so for what looks like a long time. I married the man I have been seeing off and on for the past five years just to secure insurance and survival in the world. I hope you understand that getting old sucks, and you wake up going 'oh that lump on your breast? Might be something you need to get looked at.' Turns out you should have had it looked at 5 years ago.  
**

**I've really been working hard on my original stuff, but this just felt so right to finally write this again. I miss you guys so much, and if you are still out there shoot me a line? I still have one more chapter I think or at least the one that ties this whole thing up, and if you are still reading and or still interested I'll do a part two. I promise I'll be more steady to update now! **


	39. 38 Born to Die

****Adult Content****

_**Thank you Ky, for once again reminding me that a heart can't go to a chest. **_

_**Sorry it's late. I had a death in the family, and someone hit my car that night.**_

* * *

**Chapter 38. Born to Die**

_Feet don't fail me now_

_Take me to the finish line_

_All my heart, it breaks every step that I take_

_But I'm hoping that the gates,_

_They'll tell me that you're mine_

_Walking through the city streets_

_Is it by mistake or design?_

_I feel so alone on a Friday night_

_Can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you're mine_

_It's like I told you honey_

_Don't make me sad, don't make me cry_

_Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough_

_I don't know why_

_Keep making me laugh,_

_Let's go get high_

_The road is long, we carry on_

_Try to have fun in the meantime_

_Come and take a walk on the wild side_

_Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain_

_You like your girls insane_

_Choose your last words_

_This is the last time_

_Cause you and I, we were born to die_

_~Lana Del Rey, Born to Die_

"**I'**m not sure I can do this," Magnus spoke to his reflection staring openly at his face now flawless thanks to the help of a few products and a kohl black liner, and there was a sudden very real fear that tonight would bring him nothing but more heartache. Isabelle, beautifully deadly Isabelle dropped her chin to his shoulder taking in his reflection as a masterpiece. She had spent hours working on him, concealing the dark circles beneath his eyes, and easing away every fear.

"He will be back before you know it, Magnus. Until then...have fun with us. Come into these terms that you are no longer hunted, no longer prey, and a free man. It's just one night out." She ran her hand along his jaw and kissed his cheek before moving his face to the door, "There is a broken heart down that hall that really needs this too." Magnus thought of Jem on the edge of his bed, and hardly had the chance to say hello before being rushed to Isabelle's temporary room in the downtown tower apartment. Yet, what he had caught sight of was something pitiful and heartbreaking; and that memory pushed him from the seat in front of the vanity. Jem needed this, just like he, Isabelle as well, and he liked to think that maybe Camille did too.

"I suppose you are right." He smiled and gave himself one more glance over before curling his lip into smirk and heading down the hall. Alec had left nearly six weeks ago, and wasn't certain on his return. He had a tour to do as a newly crowned king, and other country officials to impress. It was just one more place in the long list of things he couldn't do with his beloved, one more reason they had to hide. They tried to talk on the phone as best they could, but it had been days since he last heard his beloved's voice. He didn't even know where they were anymore, Alec traveled from one nation to the next without so much of a blink of an eye, and the last time they spoke Magnus could hear the desperation in his voice to come home. He was tired, he was at his ends, and here his Knight was spending his evenings under the hands of a Princess who had a passion to paint his face.

"I'm always right, Magnus." The Princess smirked, her pale painted lips outlined with lipstick so red he knew that it had once belonged to her lover. Isabelle was flushed, her cheeks a beautiful color that only love could make them, and in this his envy grew. He wanted his lover, his better half, his partner-like the air he breathed. He needed Alec, but with Isabelle's retreating figure Magnus watched her leave to tend to another heart that was as broken as his own-if not more, and he felt rather selfish.

Jem didn't know where his heart had gone, and the one who he had given his own was dead. A servant to the Hell that Magnus had once been condemned, and the silver haired boy from China had put his faith in a man who had vanished like the shadows on the wall. Where was the Professor? Magnus had known a truth about the man that he had been sworn to secrecy about, and he wondered if he could ease Jem's heart with the truth. Jean-Luc had not left, no. He had been forced out. Yet, when Magnus stood to close the distance between his room and Jem's the only word he could find was,

"Beautiful." Magnus smiled taking up the pale little hand of the Chinaman and pulling him free from Isabelle who was a grinning mess at how perfectly he had dressed. Decorated like a prince, he was outfitted in a white shirt that was detailed in silver to match his hair. The jeans he wore at first Jem thought were a joke; so tight around his backside he thought for certain they wouldn't close, but the little gem in his belt fit nicely over the toned skin of his stomach. His skin shimmered, buffed until it was so smooth that Magnus could almost swear Jem's flesh was made of the silks of his homelands.

"Just you and I tonight, Kid." Magnus grinned, tucking a strand of Jem's beautiful hair behind his ear, and admired the rise of the color that touched the young man's face. Again his heart ached for Alec, but he pushed the memory of their first night out of his mind long enough to watch Jem laugh as Isabelle danced about the room, ready to be free of these walls-free in the night as she always was.

"They will be wrapped up in each other, they will never remember we exist," Magnus continued, "But that is okay. We'll dance with them until they kick us out." He took Jem's hand to pull him to the door, but the youthful flush that colored the other man's face made him stop.

"Oh..I don't dance." Jem held his hands together before him looking as though he would grow sick at any moment on the beautiful tile floor, "I don't know how."

"Doesn't matter. You still can." Magnus words brought forth a kiss to Jem's warm cheek, and the boy's lashes fell until they closed his eyes and fanned over the smooth creamy surface of his skin.

"You can't tell me no, no one tells me no." Magnus chuckled, checking his phone one more time, the empty screen there caused him to sigh as they all stepped on the elevator, plunging to the bottom with a great fanfare of laughter. This was what weekends were for; this was what going out to dance was truly about, and in this there was a great reason for it all. _This _was what it was to be free, and though they all wished Alec could attend the night would still go on without him.

It did not take long to step into the lights, the pounding music pulling the blood through their veins like a drug, and all the bodies moving around them made Jem feel he was simply part of the ocean. At first he was reluctant, happy watching from a table in the corner, and refusing no matter how they tried to step into the pool just yet. He looked as miserable at first as Magnus felt, and finally after one more text to an Alec that simply wasn't there he put his phone away to flag down one of the tenders of the bar.

"Two specials please," Magnus ordered without even looking at the man on the other side, but when the man refused his money he recognized his face. One of the Underground. One of the refugees that had given their loyalty without fault could now live and work again on the surface. His solitude was unspoken, but just in the way the young man said 'on the house' made Magnus feel as though he had been given the world. With a nod of his approval, Magnus took the drinks and found the little white haired youth who couldn't have looked paler if he tried.

"There are so many people here," Jem tried to speak over the crowd, but all Magnus could hear was his own heart beating.

"I want to dance, but..." Jem chewed on his lip, nervously worrying it between his teeth before he watched Magnus swallow the drink with one big swig.

"It helps Jem. Will relax you, come on." With his hands in the air he flagged one of the tenders who sold shots, and before the other man could even finish that drink there was another one waiting.

"Oh I can't," Jem's face flushed now from the alcohol content, but Magnus insisted and practically forced the other one down. It wouldn't take much to get Jem relaxed, he was so thin, and ate like a bird. However, Magnus was here. He could keep him safe. And when his eyes finally started to roam again, he realized he was looking for Alec in everyone, Jem took his hand.

"Okay fine." He laughed, giggled really. Was he that drunk already? The glazed look in his silver eyes reflected the lights, and finally they were off. Isabelle as suspected was deep within the dancing crowd with Camille hanging around her hips, and when she caught sight of Magnus and Jem she pulled her lover to join them.

And there they were. Happy. Free. Dancing as if no one was watching, and laughing as if nothing mattered. Nothing mattered in this world other than this high that only the pounding of hearts, the beats of drums, and the flashing of lights could bring. It was ecstasy, a euphoria, a drug that didn't have a name, but most of all it was freeing. Here Magnus could only torture himself with the idea of going home, but no matter how he tried or how many drinks he had. He couldn't shake seeing Alec in everyone.

Jem moved as though he had been practicing dance his entire life. It was graceful, like the meditating exorcises he did in the mornings; like the painting Alec had painted of him in the school's courtyard that day they had met. His hips swayed in a slow seductive manner, and with the toxins flowing through his veins he no longer needed Magnus. He danced with whoever was willing, and currently was in the midst of Isabelle and Camille. His laughter caused his head to fall back, his pale next to expose, and the passion there on his face quickly pulled Magnus in, but it wasn't Jem he saw-it was Alec. Alec with his low rise jeans, his hair curling about his face, and the exposed skin at his neck. He watched Jem's lips part to allow a moan to escape him, a quiet content sigh that came with the song, but what Magnus saw was Alec's body rising and falling over his cock.

The spirits of his tonic had been strong, strong enough to now transform the entire room into Alexander Lightwood. Every man in there had something that reminded him, tempted him, and taunted him with the torture that if he were to touch-it wouldn't be Alec he found. In the dark they couldn't see him cry. No the tears that built in his eyes were frustrated, and burned his eyes. He needed air. Jem was fine. He needed out. But as Magnus turned to leave he came face to face with eyes so blue that even in the dark they couldn't be mistaken.

And there he was. Standing behind him like sort of James Dean in his black leather jacket and dark wash denim. His hair had gotten long, touching the skin there of his cheeks, and falling around his face like little silk ribbons of the finest black. The black t-shirt beneath his jacket heaved over flesh pulled so tight over the muscles of his chest Magnus was sure Alec was made from stone.

"_Alec..." _Magnus whispered more for himself than to state the obvious. His name was to pull him forward as the distance between them closed, and Alec's arms went around him as he broke. Magnus half laughed half sobbed, but all Alec could do was grin. It had taken months to plan this with Isabelle, months of preparations to get the events to line up, and though he had suffered from not contacting Magnus he knew the surprise would be worth it.

"We finished early." Alec smiled into Magnus' hair as the dark club around them hadn't stopped, and he started to sway. Isabelle grinned, with Camille on her arm, but Jem was careful to distract those around them. Clubs like this had rules without having a single one, and the first unspoken commandment was of secrets on a dance floor. It was a don't ask don't tell, but even now there were far too many people around them wrapped in their own lovers to even notice who it was Magnus held on to. Alec had worn his helmet in, Magnus could still see the lines on the base of his neck, and he knew Alec had just gotten there by the way the winter night still clung to the leather.

"You..." Magnus sniffled through the word laughing as he pressed his forehead to the other man's, and Alec smiled up to him as he cleaned away the mascara that had started to run.

"Surprised?" Alec didn't need to ask, he knew the answer, but Magnus couldn't reply. All he could do was kiss the man he loved. Their lips couldn't find any sort of separation, not with the passion driven behind it, nor the laughter of the friends that loved them.

"Home, I want to go home. Now." Magnus' hands squeezed Alec's hips, and the young Prince shook his head.

"That was a long ride. I'd like a drink before we do." His own fingers came around the edges of Magnus' skin tight jeans until his thumbs looped through the back of his pockets, "Then I'll take you home. Make up for time lost."

Magnus could have started to cry again at that, the relief of it all causing him to sink another kiss to the Prince's neck, and he laughed once more before he slipped to buy Alec a drink. The night carried on, the dancing around them proving to be something more than just that, and in the sea of people it was easy to feel as though they were the only two. Isabelle had her lover, Magnus had his, and Jem in his bit of tipsy haze had suddenly felt rather alone. However, he could not dampen the mood with his bit of emotional distresses, so he just left. They wouldn't notice, and with that he was ok. The night was calling to him, and the silver light of the moon had never felt so refreshing.

"They are kissing again," Alec laughed turning away from his sister as she was taken by ruby red lips, and it wasn't that he disapproved of her choice it was...his sister. He loved her, and was happy for her. Yet, that was still his baby sibling.

"So they are," Magnus replied with his hands going down Alec's backside to squeeze the round plump surface, and the sensation caused Alec to sigh contently. He knew it was time to go. He knew well because he couldn't stand it any more. Magnus was a temptation that he couldn't resist any further, and he took his hand waving to his sister who could take the car home. He had driven his bike, and Magnus fit perfectly on the back. Besides, it would please him to no end that his lover could tease him the entire way home, and this time there were two helmets.

Fate would have it they would pass the same old car as before, the same closed minded old hags with their twisted frowns, but this time it wasn't Magnus who provoked them. It was the Prince hidden behind his helmet who rolled his hips back, and caused Magnus to only squeeze them further as he threw his head back in laughter when the bike took off again. God he loved this. He loved every moment of it. He cherished little things in Alec's rebellion, and more so how absolutely wonderful it was to have his love.

"Alec..." Magnus spoke through the voice control in his helmet and drew his brows together in confusion, "The tower is that way." The downtown apartment building was growing smaller in the distance.

"So it is." Alec stopped at another light and sat up to attempt a look over his shoulder to Magnus, "I figured we needed some alone time. I've visited 30 different countries in the past few months, Magnus. I don't want to be woke up by Isabelle first thing in the morning." He grinned, and reached behind him to embrace his lover the best that he could before he took off again, "Trust me. You will like it."

And so he would. The cottage there on his Grandmother's estate was just far enough the skeleton of the old stone exterior seemed to be nothing but part of the trees. Work had started on the estate's rebuild, but Alec wasn't in any hurry to return to it. The place needed a few updates, and he wouldn't care if it took them years to rebuild. The only thing on his mind was this man who held onto him as if he were the very air he needed to breathe—the very heart in his chest. Until the rebuild Alec would stay in the palace, Magnus would have the tower, and the rest of his family would be seated where they wished. But this place, this stone cottage in the midst of the garden of roses would be theirs.

"I spent most of the day cleaning," Alec spoke as he pulled his helmet off while the bike came to a standstill in the drive, and Magnus didn't know whether to be upset or happy that his lover had gone through so much to prepare for this. He suffered without Alec, and the time his Prince spent cleaning this place they could have been together. However, once Alec pulled out the long cast iron key to unlock the door, Magnus had to wonder to which storybook he had been stolen from. The history surrounding this estate was an old cherished tale of romance and betrayal, and with one look around Magnus knew that secret lovers had ventured here for centuries past.

The cottage was only one room, with an open floor plan that had once been a keeping for serfs as they tended to the estate, but the dirt floor had been replaced with fine oak boards. The windows were enforced with beautiful drapes and long velvet tassels. The stone walls kept out the cold, and warmed with the fire that burned in the hearth. The vaulted ceilings were new additions to the cottage that once had been covered by a thickly woven thatch, but modern plumbing hadn't been added until the late 50's when his grandmother gave birth to Alec's mother.

"It's beautiful," the taller man whispered as he took in the surroundings. Everything was in its place, and a black kettle steamed over the flames with an all too familiar cat stretched out before the stone. Magnus' heart went to his throat, the little white ball of fluff only giving him a single look—far too happy to move, but his face couldn't be mistaken.

"Where…" Magnus quickly went to the cat's side, pulling him up to his chest, and laughing at the little sound of protest from the happy cat.

"All the Kings Horses and All the Kings Men…" Alec grinned removing his jacket, and pealing away the leather as if it were his second skin. The smooth olive tones of his arms reflected the chill of the cold air outside as he warmed now, and the skin pulled tightly over the stone of the Prince's build. In the few months that they were apart Alec changed so much, but not in ways Magnus didn't approve. He seemed older, his eyes wiser, and there was a strength in his hands that Magnus had never thought he'd enjoy so much. Watching him now was like watching a dream unfold; The slow daunting way he undressed, shedding away the protective layer of his outerwear as if removing armor- the rusty battle worn coat of arms that Alec wore for the world. Magnus was the only one given privilege enough to know the beautiful soul beneath. This Alec, down to his jeans and t-shirt, seemed an entirely different person than of the public's Prince.

Magnus took a seat on the edge of the bed to watch his love a moment, and felt as though he were in an entirely different era. He felt as though he had been born a servant to such a god, and must have had that look in his eyes that told his Prince of how badly he wanted to be made his slave. How he wanted to be kissed as if he would never leave again, and reminded of how precious their love truly was.

Alec moved across the floor with his shoes forgotten, his bare feet almost masked by the long hem of his jeans, and his mighty chest stretching the fabric of his shirt with every breath he pulled in slowly. Magnus, who normally towered over Alec, was forced to look up at him in the position he was in, and when Alec's hands came to his biceps he was captured in a kiss. His head was forced back, and lips parted to accept the deepening of the embrace. Alec used one of his knees to separate Magnus' legs so that he could lean in further, and the motion enticed a moan to escape from deep in his throat.

Magnus looped his fingers through the belt loops of Alec's too tight jeans, and pulled him closer so that their bodies were forced together. Under the hem of Alec's shirt Magnus slid his fingers, and smoothed over the skin pulled tight over Alec's strong abs. He loved the way he could count them as he went, how he could praise them like the sun did the mountains each morning. He loved feeling the way they hardened beneath the tips of his fingers, and smoothed again when he relaxed. Magnus rounded Alec's hips with his fingers and let them pool at the small of his back a moment before lowering them to paw at the round plush surface of his backside.

Alec released a sound of his pleasure, and took that as a signal to go further. He pressed Magnus back against the bed with a need that was reluctant to release his lips from his kiss, but his lover's trembling body made him ache to attend it. Magnus needed kissed, he needed the attention he was deprived from their time apart, but most of all he needed to be reminded at how much he was loved.

"Gods, I have missed this." Alec whispered as he ran his hand over Magnus' front and gathered the hem of his shirt to slowly pull it up over his head. Exposed now, the sensitive skin was teased with the path of his lips, and the trail came to a head along little buds of his chest. Alec brushed a thumb over one while his teeth caught the man's nipple to taste. Magnus arched his back to meet Alec's mouth, and the Prince took the time to follow the trail of his stomach that ended where his pants began.

"Alec," he breathed when the boy unbuttoned his pants, and dipped his hand into the already too tight space where his erection begged to be released. Alec kissed him once more before setting back to watch the reveal, and admired the strength of the panther like man as he was freed from his confines. Where Alec wore armor, Magnus wore sex. He dressed in ways that enchanted those around him, women and men alike admired him for his brash nature and relentless will to push boundaries. However, only one was privileged to the man beneath all the glitter and lace.

The golden skin of the Underground King glistened in the firelight, and even as naked as he was Magnus didn't feel exposed. He knew he was inviting, and he knew how to please his Prince. Rolling his hips forward he enticed the younger man to take hold, and with a steady firm grasp Alec curled his fingers around Magnus' cock.

"Yessss…" Magnus hissed as he bucked his hips forward to thrust in Alec's palm. He threw his hands back over his head, and gripped the covers firmly when Alec brought his kiss to the tip. A vocal lover, he cried out when Alec went down over the swollen head, and his tongue rolled around the sensitive underside. With a single motion Alec went down further swallowing him whole, and in this Magnus came to life. A few thrusts of his tongue made Magnus horribly aware that Alec was pressing against the zipper of his own pants painfully, and he curled his fingers through the dark strands of his lover's hair to entice him further.

"Baby, yes." Magnus pleaded with his love, and pulled on Alec's hair when he didn't answer. But instead of pulling him off, Magnus pressed him further, and Alec hallowed his cheeks to take him all in. This brought Magnus off the bed again, and finally he forced Alec down. He couldn't shake away the desire to feel his cock pounding inside him, and in a fierce motion removed Alec's pants desperately. Lightwood's erection sprang forward jutting up towards his stomach and the prick tightened with the cooler air hitting his sensitive skin.

Silver vials at the bedside were warming by the fire, the oil inside them radiating the beautiful scents of jasmine and rose extract, and Magnus wanted to feel the liquid warm inside him. The need to be slayed roared from his chest as he opened the vial and pooled the contents in his palm. Alec was on his knees as if prepared to roll over, but cried out when Magnus started to coat his cock in preparation.

He straddled Alec's and with every slow rise and fall of his fingers he serenaded his lover with moans of his own. When his hands went up he sucked in air, and when they released he let out a low growl in the back of his throat. His body rocked with each thrust as if he were riding Alec's cock, but the reality of it was an illusion. And one Alec couldn't get enough of.

"Magnus," Alec started, enjoying seeing his lover's body stretch out over him, and when he tried to sit up to reach him Magnus only pressed him back down with a wave of his finger.

"No no, you stay there."

Alec wanted to shake this tease from him, and he felt almost angry of being forced back down. However, Magnus wouldn't let him suffer for long, and positioned himself so that his entrance was sweltering against the tip of Alec's erection. They hadn't prepared him, so he would start slow, but as his body stretched around Alec the pain would pass. Magnus wanted this. He wanted to feel Alec inside him. He wanted to feel Alec beneath him as he struggled to keep back his release, and with every rock of his hips he arched to Alec as if this were a dance. Everything Magnus did was beautiful, but as his manhood swelled with each motion he invited Alec in.

"So far," Alec protested opening his hands to run over Magnus' thighs, and Magnus knew what that meant. Alec was close, he could feel his balls tight against the inside of his thighs, but with a sudden rush Alec couldn't stand it any longer. He sat up in the bed and grasped Magnus' ass with both hands squeezing as he did and tightening him around his cock so that when he filled him Magnus would get it all.

"Fill me up," Magnus threw his head back in a whimper as Alec's long hard cock hit all the right spots, and enticed his own release. He cried out his seed splashed against Alec's abs, and Alec quickly brought his hand to cup the other man's cock to help extend the orgasm. They climaxed together, both of their voices raising in praise and pleasure of the beautiful feeling it was to be loved; and sated they fell back on the bed panting in attempts to catch their breath.

It was Alec who rolled first to Magnus, his skin glistening in the warm light of the fire, and there on his side he ran his hand up through Magnus' hair to smooth it away from his face. The shadow that played over his features was remarkably daring, but it was the light that filled Alec's eye that made Magnus' heart flutter in his chest. Every day that was spent apart was worth even just an hour of this, but they had all night. Magnus curled into Alec's chest as Alec bent his lips to whisper,

"Do you know how fine you are to me?" Magnus had heard that from a movie somewhere, the sweet roll of a phrase that could be taken be taken as simply physical, but he knew Alec meant how fine he was to his heart. How cherished. How sacred.

_I love you._

He meant to say, but didn't need just three little words to prove it. No Alexander Lightwood could never speak again, and Magnus would still know.

"No?" He grinned wrapping his arms around Alec's waist, "Why don't you tell me?" That vixen look crossed Magnus' eyes again as his lips twisted into a grin, "After you let me love you all over again." Together they both laughed, until laughter was stolen with kisses, and the shadows wrote their story like a legend across the wall.

_I look into your eyes_

_And I am at the center of the sun_

_And I cannot be hurt_

_By anything this wicked world has done_

_~Conjure One, Center of the Sun_

**-The End-**

* * *

**There are not words to describe the way this makes me feel, and how much this story means to me. Not only did I finish something for the first time in my life, but the road to the year long making of this story has lead me to some of my favorites friends. **

**Ky, Sarah, Grace, Emily, Brooke, Kitty, Amber, Michelle, September (Just to name a few) and all of you reading this now. Thank you for this year long battle to push me through this, and all the kind reviews. Even if you sat quietly this entire time and never once reviewed I thank you—and cherish you.**

**There is an Epilogue that will leave the story up to you if it continues in a part two. I'll give you the snippet in a review, and a hint now. **

"_Where did Jem go?" Isabelle asked her hands finding her lover. _

"_Who cares, he's a grown man. Let's get out of here." Little did they know, something horrid was waiting for him in the dark._

**Also, please check out Tears from the Moon, the sister fic to this one based around Jem's story. It has one of my favorite smut scenes I've ever written.**

_"We can't. I'll infect you." William had to look up to Jem when the distance between them closed, and the pressure in his loins was easy to ignore until he stood this close. The flower he hardly noticed was against his skin until Jem brushed it from his shoulder over his chest, and the sensation rippled through Will until he was certain he would burst. The warm nectar and little bit of water caused it to feel as if it were Jem's lips, and William gave a content sigh._

_"There are other ways…" Those four little words were more of a drug than any poison with the label of ecstasy could produce. The warmth in them intoxicated him, and his already hardened cock swelled against the fabric of his pants. Will stood to meet Jem, to trade him places, and as he cupped the boy close he felt him tremble. His nerves were greater than any fear he had ever known, but Will didn't need them to know Jem truly was pure. He was inexperienced and young, but he wasn't a foolish child. Seduction as simple as that wasn't something that often came natural, but for Jem it was a lesson he learned long ago. Simplicity. Modesty. And Moderation. For William sex had always been a rush of fierce need that often ended too soon, but now as he pressed the boy back on the bed and started his fingers around the hem of his pants he wanted to last forever._

**__I promise I will be better about updating now. I've just had a really rough past few months, but just like this story-I just need to start over.**


	40. 39 Epilogue: How Fragile We Are

**Please excuse any mistakes, this isn't Beta'd. Ky is on the last stretch of her finals.**

* * *

**Center of the Sun:**

**Epilogue: How Fragile We Are**

_If blood will flow when flesh and steel are one  
Drying in the colour of the evening sun  
Tomorrow's rain will wash the stains away  
But something in our minds will always stay  
Perhaps this final act was meant  
To clinch a lifetime's argument  
That nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could  
For all those born beneath an angry star  
Lest we forget how fragile we are  
_

_~Fragile, by Sting_

The room had grown so small, with face upon face in the heat of their dances, their laughter, and their love—their love of life, and living—of being free and wild. This was a world Jem had never known, not until Will. He came from a distant land, a foreign place where the night was spent in reflection, and in the morning they danced as they welcomed the sun.

The warm buzz of the alcohol burned his chest, but it cleared his mind. For once he didn't feel weak or tired, but alive and free. He felt happy and it showed, shimmering in his silver eyes there was a reflection of his soul, and when Jem smiled his very being shown through. Even now as he made his way through the crowd he didn't mind when he was easily overlooked, or stepped on.

"Excuse me," His singsong voice too quiet to be heard over the music, but loud enough it filtered in the stranger's ear to have him move. "I'm sorry. I just need some air." The smoke burned his lungs, but it was a blissful feeling—one that reminded him of William. And upon that first step into the night the cool air Jem finally felt he could breathe. He laughed to himself still, drunk on the spirits that burned through his veins, and high on the feeling of the ecstasy that came with nights like this. His heart was pounding against his chest, but it didn't hurt anymore…nothing hurt anymore. Truly, he felt as though finally he was perhaps going to beat this, but as the night settled around him he couldn't keep from walking a path he knew all too well.

* * *

Isabelle Lightwood, a Princess here among the crowd never had trouble having a good time. With her lover there on her arm, and men bowing at her feet she felt invincible.

"Make him beg for it," Her lover spoke in a low dry tone in her ear at the half dressed wolf at her feet. The leather spike of her heel pressed against his chest, as her ruby red lips curled into a huntresses grin,

"Say _please_."

"Please," He moaned, but the sound of his voice was almost lost in the mix of the music and wake of the crowd. Camille laughed in her ear, nipping at the tender skin at the base of her neck, and together they laughed before their lips met. The surrounding dancers moaned in pleasure, the excitement of the pair always made the room boil in seductive heat. However, when the kiss was done, Camille turned up her hand to the man, but he wouldn't take it—no he slipped her cash.

"Next round is on me," She smirked stuffing the paper between her breasts, but realized her lover wasn't paying attention any longer. Camille knew their little party trick didn't anger her, but she looked concerned. However, before she could ask Isabelle's voice broke over the crowd.

"Where did Jem go?" Closing the space between them Isabelle took her hand, but continued to look.

"Who cares, he's a grown man. Let's get out of here and go home."

"We shouldn't leave him." Isabelle protested, but let Camille's words sink in—she was right, they didn't need to look after Jem like a child. But she couldn't help it. She owed that beautiful boy her life, and had it not been for that night she would have never met the love of her own.

"He's fine, Isabelle. Trust me. He survived the Underground. He can handle the night." And with that she knew there wasn't any more fight Isabelle could make. They both wound their way through the crowd to go back to their castle in the sky.

* * *

"Where are you going Little Moon Prince?" A stranger called out as Jem stepped into one of the last of the wintery nights, and he turned a smile over his shoulder. In his alcohol induced haze he could have almost blown a kiss to the man who watched him with amusement and folly. Yet, he flashed that brilliant nearly childlike grin of his,

"Wherever my feet carry me." His reply was simple, and perhaps could be mistaken for a tease. But Jem knew well where he wanted to go, and moved along the path. Somewhere between the dance floor and the door Jem found his coat, the cloak like fabric something Izzy thought would match his style. He didn't mind really, the silver buttons were nice, but he wouldn't tell her how they made his heart ache for a coat he couldn't find; a coat that was lost in the commotion.

* * *

_"Accusations like that could get you both killed." Twice in one day Jem felt guilty for upsetting this beautiful man, but when the bells rang they broke through his pounding heart. "Have a good night, Jem." When Jem stood to leave, Jean-Luc followed him to the door, but it wasn't his father's coat the Professor helped him into; it was the beautiful wool one with the silver buttons that Jem had always admired. This coat too was far too big on him, and though he wanted to protest greatly he knew he had to give up the soldier's coat; it had almost gotten him killed, and he wouldn't allow his mother to be sent it in a box one more time._

_Jem didn't put his arms through the sleeves, but pulled the coat around him before he looked up to whisper, "Thank you…"_

* * *

Laughing with the moon, Jem ran his hands along the stone wall of a garden home along the row of the more expensive parts of London that hadn't been touched by war. For hours he walked, trying hard to not follow his heart, and simply let his feet guide him across the red lines of the city. But as he rounded the corner of Regents Park he knew just where he was heading, and for the first time that night felt drawn into the flame.

The club had been fun, and long after the music stopped he heard it pounding between his ears while the base still rumbled in his chest. Jem moved over the stone streets with the dance still in his steps, and giggled when he tumbled over turned trash cans—apologizing of course to nearly everyone and every object he brushed against.

"Good evening," He spoke to a wayward raven perched on the wire above the long row of estate homes, and laughed a little when the bird gave him an accusing look of insanity. "Have you seen him?" Jem asked again, but the dark black of the bird's wings expanded into flight and left him there to his own musings.

"No…" He sighed sadly, "I suppose you haven't either."

The cold iron of the gated community started to bring Jem from his warm buzz, and one by one his fingers brushed over the fence until he finally found the home to which had once belonged to Professor Jean-Claude Luc St. Laurence.

The large estate, of nearly white stone was a ghost of what it was once. The long glowing warm windows were black now like the vacant space between dreams, but it was the boards that crossed the door that nearly brought Jem to his knees. The tears that filled his eyes burned first from his chest as he held his mouth tight to try and fight back the rush of emotion.

* * *

"_And you'll be gone all night?" Jem asked watching the Professor struggle with his ascot in the finely decorated mirror vanity of the great room. Jean-Luc was dressed like some sixteenth century French King with an over detailed waistcoat cut perfectly for his long yet slender figure. The buttons were made of a fine yellow gold while the rest of his coat was trimmed with rich bronze threadwork that gave him the heir of any stately lord, and though it was only a costume Jem wondered if perhaps Jean-Luc had owned it in a past life. He seemed to belong to the era when their were celebrations like this, and the French had kings. _

"_I…No, I will be back around midnight." The Professor hadn't realized how much his hands shook, and Jem couldn't help but feel it endearing. Was he nervous to go on this date? He spoke of the Madame Bordeaux as if she were a goddess divine, and it made Jem anxious to meet her; if Jean-Luc was dressed for such an event he knew that the Lady's dress would be to die for. That was…if the Professor could get the tie right._

_Jem pressed from his perch on the stairs, and his bare feet moved over the beautiful hand painted carpet until he stood over the white marble to turn the older man around. _

"_Here," He spoke so gently, his voice nearly a whisper as he took up the ends of the scarf and started to tie it. _

_A silence settled between them a moment as Jem was concentrating on the tie, and the Professor the student before him. Jem wore his sleep pants, with the long robe over them. His hair was down, damp from the bath, and falling in ribbon like strands around his face._

"_You are dressed already for bed." Came the taller man's voice, a near boom in his chest that startled Jem from his thoughts, and he smiled up to the Professor. Jem truly enjoyed his stay at the St. Laurence estate, and was very thankful for the Professor offering him the stay over the winter holiday. _

"_I'm tired, and really looking forward to finishing my book you gave me. Thank you." A distraction came to the door, one dressed in red, and one that stole the Professor's voice from him. Jem could easily see why—she was beautiful. And as the snow melted on her dark lashes, Jem envied her greatly, but wouldn't allow that sort of feeling to show. Instead he returned his smile up to the Frenchman, "I won't wait up."_

* * *

"Where are you?" He sank then slowly down the railing to kneel before the iron gate, locked with an intricate latch with eyes of its own detailed in the iron lacing. The return of his thoughts to the present made him want to be sick, but just as Jem let a single tear escape his silver eyes a figure long and dark cast it's shadow over him. His heart went to his chest as the excitement caused his head to snap around, and the silloette of the man over the moon made his entire body feel as though it were a leaf in the wind.

"Jea—" No. Jem's heart sank, and the air left him. The warm intoxication of being this close to the estate again was quickly snuffed out by the fear that clung to him as he realized who truly stood before him.

"Valentine..."

"Good evening, Master Carstairs. I hear you will be returning to school this coming term." Jem was quick to his feet, quick to take a few steps back and meet the iron bars that now pinned him between they and this man.

"Yes." He put on his brave face despite how his heart beat like a rabbits, and set his chin in a defiant manner to look up at him. "Yes I will."

"That's wonderful to hear." The man lied through his teeth, but what he said next held an eerie truth. "I am sure Jean-Luc _would have_ been pleased to hear it." Just in the way Valentine's voice sounded Jem went cold all over again. _Would have?_ He would _be_, Jem wanted to correct, but simply parted his lips. Valentine spoke as if he were dead, and the confusion on his face must have been very clear to read.

"Would have?" Jem spoke in a voice that hardly felt used, and watched as Professor Valentine placed his hands in his pockets to face the estate. He knew something, and it was something dark. It was a truth that Jem didn't want him to admit, but one he already doubted. This man was a liar, and bent the will's of others to take what he couldn't have.

"So you haven't heard." Came his horrid reply, and Jem wanted to shake it from him. He didn't get to speak like that, but when the man continued he found his attention as well captive by the empty home, "No one has heard from him since the uprising." But that didn't mean he was dead. Jem thought for certain he had to be dreaming, this was a nightmare, but his fingers now numb from clutching the fence let him know he was awake. "There were rumors, you know. One that had him returning to France to escape the war, one that he was deported, but you know what I think?" The tall vacant ghost like man could have mirrored everything Jean-Luc wasn't. His white blonde hair an ugly contrast to Jean-Luc's raven black, but there was something sinister in the way he looked at him now—something even his Professor carried in his gaze.

"I think he went looking for you, and died down in those tunnels like the rest of those rat bastards who dare rebelled against our king." A red light, Jem wondered if it was from the traffic, reflected in Valentine's eyes, but he refused to budge just yet.

"We had no choice." Jem didn't know where those words came from, but he wasn't certainly ready to cower beneath this man—not yet. "They forced us down, they forced us like you forced us from the school." With that laughter, dark and horrid fell from Valentine's lips as he took a few slow steps to close the distance between he and the moon colored boy.

Powerless to prevent the man from taking his chin into his hand, he felt his face forced up, and the sharp rush of the iron struck his back as he was forced against it. Jem cursed the alcohol he consumed that night as it made his reaction slow, and he was held captive once more.

"Do you think that is what happened? Did he fill your head with those lies? Or did that Magnus Bane freak brainwash you too, James." Oh how he hated it when anyone else called him that. So few truly knew it, but only those close to him were permitted to call him by his first name. "Mr. Carstairs, you are greatly mistaken, and if you and your pathetic little friends think this is all over…"

"…You will soon be surprised." With that Valentine released Jem as he choked for breath, and slumped against the stone. The coughing came as violent as before, and the blood spilled from his lips like Valentine's laughter as he started down the path once more, "You don't have much time, Boy. They might have beat the war, but there is always the infection." Were the last words Jem could make out before he doubled over with the pain of the attack, and that all too familiar feeling of darkness came over him.

* * *

**A/N: I will cry now, that I click the 'in progress' to complete. But there you have it...the set up to part 2. That if you still want to read it. I won't spoil City of Lost Souls, but man I needed this ending after that one...gods. **

**I'm going to get Tears from the Moon (which all the flashbacks are from) finished before I take on Part 2, but I hope now you can see how I can build a story from it. **

**Love you all! Catch me on Twitter; StarryOwlEyes**


	41. Author Update

I promised myself I'd never do this, but here it is! A shout out that I'm not done writing, life has really just kicked my behind in the past year, and I want to just take the time to tell you that I love you; to thank you for always being so supportive; and to push you into writing.

I'd love to read your stories, and I always review. So please please please leave a link in your review, or message me the story. Don't be shy. I want to read! Plus I'd love to just hear how you are anyway. I miss you all terribly, and words can not express how much you how this whole ordeal gave me faith in not only myself but in the world in general. Because, where else can you meet awesome people who share your likes and be best friends with on twitter.

Have a wonderful New Year, and I hope to see more of you!


	42. A Little Note

Don't kill me, it's not an update. BUT one will be coming soon! I'm about half way done with the next part of Center of the Sun, and have TWO chapters on Tears From the Moon that just need Ky's attention. Busy times as always, but I did want to say.

Go see the movie! I also would love to know your thoughts on it? Catch me on twitter StarryOwlEyes

Yay!


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